BING! I just got struck with a huge idea:
Maybe, Mephesto will read the thing, and when he says "Eric Cartman's father is..." Cartman will hear his mom's voice and wake up! Seems a little predictable, but it WILL be the April Fool's Day episode!!!
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"Cartman eats a Cheesy Poof, he eats a Snacky Cake, he eats a Boogy Bar, he eats a Veal Roll-Up!" ~~Me