"South Bark": "A Chicken's Courage"

Feb 14, 19983 posts by 3 postersalt.tv.southpark
3 posts

Last Halloween, Comedy Central posted an online "South Park" cartoon at.:

http://southpark.comedycentral.com/southpark/halloween/courage/main.shtml

     If you haven't seen it already check it out.  It's hilarious!
     Here's the script of a plagiarism of "A Mother's Courage" that I wrote
starring the four lead characters from "101 Dalmatians - the Series".:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
                             "A Chicken's Courage"
                               by:  Juan F. Lara

[ SCENE: Lucky and Cadpig are sitting in front of a pumpkin. ]

Lucky: Hi, kids. Happy Halloween.

Cadpig:  Today, we're going to teach you all about safety in carving a
         Halloween pumpkin.  AND we're going to show you how to carve a
         pumpkin to look just like Tim Allen.

[ Enter Rolly from right ]

Rolly: Oh, papa. Candy corns! That's what I love the most about Halloween.

Lucky: Rolly, don't eat that crap. It'll make you puke.

Cadpig: Oh, Rolly. Human candy is very unhealthy for dogs. Studies have shown that NutraSweet can induce irritable behavior in canines.

Rolly: Aw, screw you, bitch.

Cadpig:  ( butt sniffing fatass...) [ Enter Spot with knife ] Now boys and
         girls, Spot will demonstrate the safe way to carve as Lucky and I
         will describe it.

Lucky: I like to start with the right eye, first.

[ Spot leans on pumpkin with right wing and carves with left wing. ]

Lucky: Now when you cut with one hand, be careful about where you position your other hand.

[ Spot accidentally slices off her right wing. ]

Spot: BAWK!!

Lucky: Now we do the mouth.

[ Spot starts carving the mouth, even though she's bleeding. ]

Cadpig: Now the mouth might be tricky. So try to avoid holding the knife in an awkward position, else it might slip out of your hand.

[ The knife slips and slashes off Spot's right leg. ]

Spot: AWK!!!

Spot: Guys. Maybe you can call a vet now...!

Cadpig: Now do the left eye just like you did the right one.

Spot: Ohhhh...

[ Spot uses all her waning strength to cut out the left eye. ]

Lucky: But remember. Don't push too hard, or you could send the knife FLYING.

    [ The knife flies out, plunges into Spot's chest, and cuts her open down
      her crotch. ]
  Spot:  ACK!!!!

[ Spot staggers away. ]

Spot: Bawwwwwk.....

[ Spot falls dead on her back. ]

Lucky: Doggone it! That doesn't look ANYTHING like Tim Allen!

Cadpig: Well, at least we learned the safe way to carve a chicken. Now all you boys and girls can help your moms in the kitchen!

Rolly: Ohhh. You guys. I don't feel so good.

[ Rolly barfs on the pumpkin. ]

Lucky: Hey. NOW it looks like Tim Allen. Thanks a bunch, Rolly!

Cadpig: See what you can accomplish with a little teamwork!

Lucky: Happy Halloween, kids!

Cadpig: And next week, we'll learn the medicinal benefits of chewing grass.

Rolly: Oh, Papa!

[ Rolly barfs on the camera. The candy corns spell out, "Happy Holidays from Disney." ]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Juan F. Lara http://ccwf.cc.utexas.edu/~jfl/intro.html

        [ bumper parody ]
Lucky:  "South Bark" is brought to you by "The Little Mermaid".  The Walt
        Disney Masterpiece that revolutionized feature animation.
Rolly:  And the girl with the shells on her tits is a babe!

Folks, just because it's a Disney stlye parody of South Park doesn't mean that you shouldn't read it. I read it before it hit the newsgroups and it had me ROTFLMAO. Please give this story a chance.

Joe Klemm