Chef IS NOT Cartman's Dad!!!! Genetic Clone proves it!

There is NO WAY Chef, or anyone known by the 4 children, is Cartman's dad.

Wanna know why???

One very simple quote:

"Why don't you stop... dressing me up like a mailman, and making me dance for you... while you go smoke crack, and HAVE SEX WITH SOME GUY ON MY DAD'S BED THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW."

See? Again: "THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW"

Now, the fact that Mrs. Cartman dresses Cartman up like the mailman can mean only one thing.... THE MAILMAN IS ERIC'S DADDY!!!

Eric wouldn't know him because he is obviously in school when the mail comes, except for Starvin Marvin; but even there he didn't see him because they drove off when the kids opened the door!

Now, I ask:

Who's with me??

Verrrry clever deduction Mr Holmes, uh Collins, but Eric is what? 7 going on 8 or 8 which means the dirty deed occured AT LEAST 8-9 years ago. I don't think she's been doing it with the mailman all that time. I would argue that she is a slut doing it with half the town because she was jilted by Eric's dad, she's trying to compensate, trying to forget. Who is it she's trying to forget? John Elway. Its a little known fact that John had a cabin just outside of town awhile back.

"...enjoy the Internet while it lasts.. ...it's only a fad" - Flauntleroy

However, the phrase "that I don't even know" refers to the man having sex with Cartman's mother on his DAD's bed. Therefore, he knows, at least, that whoever is having sex with his mom is NOT his dad.

no, no, no... he's saying he doesn't _know_ the bed, like, he doesn't _KNOW_ the bed. y'know, like he doesn KNOW know it....

... and whoever said that his father was the mailman based on that quote has no proof. just because she dresses cartman up as the mailman dosen't mean that that is who she is having sex with

On Mon, 9 Feb 1998 21:28:21 -0500, Clark W Griswold wrote:

But it would make sense, wouldn't it?? He knows just about everyone EXCEPT the mailman!

And to the post before this by Losira23:

1.Cartman doesn't know the mailman. 2.Cartman doesn't know his own dad. 3.Cartman doesn't know who the guy his mom has sex with on his unkown by Cartman dad's bed.

DKW63 wrote:

No, he just THINKS that whoever is having sex with his mom must not be his dad.

MOWBIE wrote:

i just thought of something REAL sick maybe it ELTON JOHN !

he popped up in elephant makes love to a pig and who better to get you in the mood (or at least thats what chef told me)

I never thought that that quote could be a lead. Good hypothesis. We'll soon find out who Cartman's dad is.

[email] (Corey Collins) wrote,

Good point, although wouldn't that be somewhat of a contradiction? I mean, if she's having sex with some guy (like the mailman) on his DAD'S bed, then wouldn't that imply that they're not the same person? Oh well, I could be wrong.

-------------- I'm with you, though. I don't think chef is Cartman's dad, either, and this is why: Everybody else seems to think he is. Now, I'm sure that Trey and Matt read these posts, and they probably know that everybody thinks it's going to be chef. They probably threw in that clip of Mrs. Cartman winking at chef just to generate more discussion here (Yeah, I know they probably made the episodes months ago, but hell, they're geniuses-- I'll bet they knew that everybody was going to think it's chef). I guess my theory is, the fact that they did that means that it CAN'T be chef, just because now that would be too obvious.

I'll bet every new episode until "Cliffhanger" is going to have some sort of "clue" like that.

Personally, I'd like to see Cartman's father turn out to be Robert Smith. He's gotten rather "big boned" these days.

Hmmm, maybe Cartman (since Kyle said he never gets higher than a D) thinks Officer Barbrady is the mailman! And the quote is "And have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!" But he knows Officer Barbrady...maybe Barbrady took his shades off! ��� �hr�B

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I thought Cartman was talking about his sister having sex on his fathers bed, with some man he doesn`t know. Not his mother.

Thats impossible....he was talking about if some woman was talking to me that way....not his mother >> >dance for you... while you go smoke crack, and HAVE SEX WITH SOME GUY

No it's MR. HAT!!!!!