GARRISON'S SECRET - Part 4 by Steve Sutton
(Later, Stan and Kenny are over at Cartman's house, getting ready to leave. Cartman is wearing army camouflage, black gloves, and has shoe polish smeared all over his face.) Cartman (checking his backpack): Beefy logs, Cheesy Poofs, grenades... Stan: Dammit, I wonder what's keeping Kyle. He should've been here by now. Kenny: {His mom probably grounded him, or something.} Cartman: Yeah, that bitch ruins everything. Flashlight, Snacky Cakes... Mrs. Cartman (bringing Cartman a coat): Now, are you sure you're going to be warm enough, hon'? It's awfully cold out there. Cartman: Yeah, ma, I'll be fine." Mrs. Cartman: Well, why don't you make mommy happy and take this coat with you. You never know when those nasty chilly willies are going to sneak up on you. (Mrs. Cartman tries to put the coat on him.) Cartman (pushing the coat off): Because I don't want a coat, ma! I'm trying to blend into the background! Stan: Heh, yeah! The only thing you're gonna blend into is the Good Year blimp! (Kenny laughs.) Cartman: Ay! (The doorbell rings. Mrs. Cartman walks off to answer it.) Mrs. Cartman: Why, that must be your friend, Kyle, now. Cartman: It's about freaking time! (Kyle enters.) Kyle: Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late. Stan: Where were you, dude? Kyle: My stupid-ass parents didn't want me to come. I had to wait and sneak out the back way. Cartman: Figures. Kyle: So, you guys ready? Stan: Cartman? Cartman (struggling with the backpack): Just...let...me...get this backpack...on, you guys. (Cartman falls over backwards.) Cartman: A little help...you guys? (On a street corner, Wendy and Baebay are waiting for the guys to show up.) Wendy: What time is it, Baebay? Baebay: Almost ten-thirty. I wonder where the boys are. Wendy: I don't know, Baebay. Stan would never stand me up, he's too much of a hunky stud. Baebay: And Kyle has such a cute ass. (They smile and giggle. Officer Barbrady pulls up next to them in his patrol car.) Barbrady: Well, well. What are you girls doing out so late? Girls: Nothing, Officer Barbrady. Barbrady: Well, shouldn't you be getting home? Don't you have school tomorrow? Baebay: It's Friday. Barbrady (pausing): So? Wendy: We don't have to go to school tomorrow, Officer Barbrady. Tomorrow's Saturday. (Silence fills the air.) Barbrady: You girls aren't out prostituting, are you? Girls: No... Barbrady: Oh. (Barbrady drives away and the guys finally show up.) Stan: Hi, Wendy. Sorry we're so late, Kyle's folks wouldn't let him leave. Cartman (without backpack): Yeah, stupid [bleep]s. Kyle: Don't call my mom and dad [bleep]s, fatass! Cartman: Well, why the hell not? That's what they are. And stop calling me fat! I'm not fat, I just have puffy skin! Wendy: That's okay, Stan. Let's get going, okay? Stan: Sure, Wendy. Baebay: Yeah, Kyle, you can walk ahead of me. Kyle: 'Kay... (They walk off. Elsewhere, at Mister Garrison's house, Garrison is sitting, naked, in a dark room with something in his left hand.) Garrison: I'm afraid our time has come to an end, Miss Barbie. You can pleasure me one last time, but then it's off to the furnace with you. (He puts the object between his legs and an expression of extreme satisfaction crosses his face.) Garrison: Oh, Miss Barbie, you naughty, naughty girl. (At the Broslovski house, Gerald and Sheila are sound asleep when the telephone rings.) Gerald (answering it): Mmm, hello?...Yes?...What about him?...No, he's in bed...Yes, I'm sure...No, I'm not going to check...Uh-huh...Oh...And you waited this late to call...Okay...That's all right...Thanks for the concern...Okay, bye. (Gerald hangs up the phone.) Sheila: Who was it, dear? Gerald: Mister Mackey, from the school. Seems to think Kyle's on a murderous rampage, or something. Sheila: That's nice, dear. Go back to sleep. Gerald: Mmm. (Elsewhere, the guys, Wendy and Baebay are still walking down the street. Baebay is keeping a steady eye on Kyle's butt.) Baebay (to herself, smiling): Yeah, baby, way to stretch those pants! Wendy: Stan, how much farther is it? I have to pee. Stan: Not far, I think we're almost there. Kenny: {Pee in the woods.} Wendy: Eewww, gross, Kenny! Woods pee is gross! Cartman: You guys, I'm getting seriously...tired...back here. If only...I had...some...Cheesy Poofs or...Snacky Cakes...to sustain me. Kyle: Yeah, pee in the woods. There's no sense in holding it in, you could hurt yourself. Wendy: Well, okay, but no peeking, Stan...unless you really want to. Stan: Oh, brother! (Wendy goes off into the woods to pee.) Kyle: I've gotta pee, too. You guys go ahead, we'll catch up with you. (The others continue on, but Baebay stays behind and glares at Kyle.) Kyle (shrugging): What? (She soon turns and joins the others. Kyle removes a hatchet from under his coat and follows Wendy into the woods.)
TO BE CONCLUDED...