Here Are Kenny's "Weight Gain 4000" Quotes

According to Comedy Central, "Weight Gain 4000" is on tonight. So here are Kenny's quotes. I'm sure someone's gonna argue with me like last time, but this is how I hear it:

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Chef and the Boys In the Lunch Room:

Chef: "Hello there, children!"

Kyle & Stan: "Hey, Chef!"

Chef: "How're my little crackers today?"

Kyle & Stan: "Good."

Chef: "Did y'all hear about the news? Kathy Lee Gifford is coming to South Park!"

Stan: "Yeah, 'cause Cartman cheated 'n' won the environmental essay contest."

Cartman: " 'EY! "

Chef: "Yeah, yeah, well, whatever. But the mayor just called and asked ME to sing at the ceremony!"

Kyle: "Wow! Are ya gonna do it?"

Chef: "Of course! Kathy Lee is a beautiful, sultry queen of sexual fantasy! And if I sing to her, hmm, maybe I can lure her into a night of exotic delectation."

Stan: "Yeah! Tha'd be cool!"

Kenny: "Is Cassity's trailer big?"

Chef: "Well, three times bigger than Frank Gifford's anyway! Huh huh! Heh heh heh heh."

[A lot of people will think I've lost my mind for the above Kenny quote, but the humor in this is that we're obviously led to believe that Kenny comments on the size of Chef's penis. A little TOO obviously. What makes it really funny is that they're really making a sly comment on how much Kathy Lee worships her kids; naturally her daughter would get a bigger dressing room than her husband. And if you still think they're talking about Chef's thang, then watch how far apart he holds his hands when he answers Kenny. He must be one hung motherf*cker.]

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Cartman Arrives At the Bus Stop Wearing a Beefcake Muscle Tee and Carrying a Can of Weight Gain 4000:

Cartman: "Hey, dudes!"

Kyle: "What the hell is wrong with you, Cartman? Haven't you noticed the three feet of snow on the ground?"

Cartman: Listen! I have a nice body and I wanna show it off! Ya got that?"

Stan: "What?! You've got to weigh 90 pounds!"

Cartman: "I'm up to 94, thank you very much!"

Kenny: "And some D-cup boobs to boot!"

Kyle: "Yeah! They're almost as big as his mom's!"

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Kenny Takes A Bullet Meant For Kathy Lee:

Kenny: (sounding very reminiscent of Mr. Bill) "OH, NO!"

On Wed, 11 Mar 1998 20:51:16 -0600, [email] (p m) wrote:

You're definitely retarded.

Pleez dohn kall mee retarrdud. Eye em juss lyke ull uf yoo.

uuummmmm.... you mispelled pleez (it's pleeze).

I once cried cause' I had no shoes, Until i cut off a mans feet.

p m wrote:

I thought I was the only one who saw a similarity between the "OH NO"s... Guess not.

Ick, have you ever tasted that stuff.. nastiest shiznet ever.. gives you the runs.... one can of that is only five servings, your supposed to put in 2.5 cups o milk or water and then 2 cups of the weight gain (i have the 1850 at my house). Man, it gives ya gas and the runs ... seriously bad... hehe.. after one serving thats it for me =)

MozraL wrote:

The 1850 isn't for scrawny weaklings. Start with the 500 and work your way up to the good stuff. :-)

Repeat after me:

Beefcake! BEEFCAKE! BEEEEFFCAAAAAKE!!!!!

Kenny