(From out of the woodwork the former inhabitant of a.t.sp rears his ugly head)
Taken from http://www.ghostplanet.com
Nov 13, 1998
Cartman Southpark c/o Comedy Central Planet Earth
Mr. Cartman:
Citizen, you have a filthy mouth. I know you probably dislike your elders lecturing you about your language, but you will never get ahead in life with excessive swearing. You cna be funny without all the cursing. I am living proof!
You also need an exercise regiment. Aren't you tired of other kids picking on you? A deep knee bend wouldn't hurt. You do have knees, don't you? A few sit ups, deep knee bends, maybe some jumping jacks - before you know it, you'll be ready to shop for spandex. I know just the place!
I realize that as soon as you stop cursing, your ratings will plummet and mine will sky rocket. But that's the price you must pay for self excellence. Your well being is my only concern.
Get with the program, Cartman. Shape up, why don't you? Every word out of your mouth doesn't have to make my mother blush!
Besides, if you stop cursing so much, maybe she'll let me watch.
1-2-3-4!
Signed,
SPACE GHOST
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"Madam, I must protest! You can't cook a mayor!"
--H.R. Pufnstuf (From Sigmund & the Sea Monsters)
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