I know this took forever to write, but I was busy with my webpage and other stuff along time. I'm also introducing a new character in this part. He'll probably be in my other fics too. Theres 1 more part after this, then I'm starting my new series, "Theres Something About Wendy". So..Without further ado.. The Case Of Mr.Hat.. Part 3! (Scene: Empty Classroom.) Mr.Garrison:(he flings open the desk drawer and gasps.. Mr.Hat is gone.) NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
(Scene: The Broslofskis' house.) (Kyle is getting ready to go to Wendy's party when there's a knock on his door. Mrs.Broslofski enters, along with Ike.) Kyle: Yeah? Sheila: It's me, boobie. I wanted to know if you and Ike are ready to go to the little girl's party. Kyle: Ike? Sheila: Uh huh, we got an invitation for you and Ike. Kyle: But, Mom, he's a baby! He can't go to this party! He'll ruin everything! He just went to Stan's party last week! Ike: Kooka shin! Sheila: Your friends seem to like him, then. Kyle(banging head against dresser): F*bleep*k no! Sheila: What was that?! Kyle: Um.. I said, "Okay, let's go." Sheila: Alright then! (she picks up Ike, who's making a silly grin at Kyle.)
(Scene: The hotel.) (Daria, Jane, and Jodie are sitting in the room they share.) Jane: So let me get this straight. They moved us four in a room? This dump is smaller than my closet. Daria: Your closet? Now this is bad. Jodie(sighing): Well, it wasn't my idea. All I heard is that Quinn, Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany wanted to share a room, so.. Jane: Damn your black-heart, Quinn Morgandorffer! Daria: Don't you mean pink? Her heart needs to be color-coordinated, you know. Along with her lungs, stomach, liver... (Andrea enters from the hallway.) Andrea: Hey roomies. What's up? Got any LSD? Jodie(sarcastic): Oh, yes, I just carry loads of LSD around in my purse. Andrea: Cool. Maybe we can make a deal. Daria: You are now entering Hell. Please keep your hands and elbows inside the car, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
(Scene: Wendy's front porch) (The scamps stand outside, anxiously) Kyle: C'mon, dude, just ring the damn doorbell! Stan: I..I can't. Ike: Cookie monster! Cartman: Goddammit! Do ah have to do everything? (he jumps up and rings the doorbell. A tough looking guy by the name of Jake answers the door.) Jake: Hey. Kyle & Stan & Kenny(pointing at Cartman): HE rang the doorbell! Cartman: Huh? Ay! Why you little-- (Jake is 15 years old, with spiky, bleached blonde hair and a small goatee. He's wearing a black skull shirt with one sleeve ripped, revealing a vine tattoo on his right arm. His pants have a hole in one knee, he has blue eyes, and a silver hoop earring.) Cartman: Who the Hell are you? Jake: Jake Testaburger. Who the Hell are you, the world's biggest fat-ass? Stan(whispered to Kyle & Kenny): I like this guy. Cartman: That's ri--Ay! No I'm not! Wait a second.. Testaburger? As in Wendy? Jake: My little sister. Come on in, fat-ass. You guys too(he points to the remaining scamps). Cartman: Uh, ah have a question. Mr.Scary-Wendy's brother-person? Why are you so damn skinny? Jake: It's called fasting, you dumb tub of lard. You should try it. Stan: Fasting? Kenny: Mmph rmmp rmmf mmmph pmmf mmmf. Kyle: Oh, cool! (They walk inside. Wendy, Clyde, Bebe, Brad(the blonde kid), and other classmates are already there, drinking soda and dancing) Wendy: Hi guys! Glad you could make it. Want some cheesy poofs? (a large bowl sits on a coffee table, filled to the top with cheesy poofs.) Cartman: Hell yeah! (he rushes over to it, emptying the whole bowl in his mouth in less than a few seconds) Stan(yelling to be heard): Hey Wendy! Why is your music playing so loud? (A song by Primus is playing--what a coincidence.) Wendy: Because! (points to kitchen) My parents are beating the sh*bleep*t out of each other, and they're making alot of noise! I don't want it to ruin the party. (shot to kitchen. Wendy's parents Marty and Lois are fighting. They're both exceptionally young. Lois is pretty, with shoulder-length blonde hair, and is wearing a green blouse and khakies. Marty is also the embalmer's assistant from the Pink Eye episode, he's the one who spilled the sauce.) Lois: What the f*bleep*k is wrong with you, asshole? All I wanted was a nice, stable relationship, and you have to go and be so insensitive! Marty: Whatever, bitch! I didn't do anything, it isn't my fault you have permanent PMS! (he pours Roschiere sauce, or however you spell it, on a hotdog as he's talking) Lois: Eat this, dip-sh*bleep*t! (she throws some porcelain plates at Marty) Marty: Why you stupid whore! (he throws a glass cookie jar at Lois) (they continue to throw stuff at each other) (shot back to party) Wendy: See? Kyle: Geez, dude, that sucks. Kenny: Mmmph rmmf mmmp rmmmf mmph mmmf m*bleep*mf rrmmmph mmmph pmmmph. Wendy: I didn't know your parents and brother were like this too, Kenny. I guess we both have sucky families. (Ike bounces up to them, grinning) Ike: Zeeponanner! Wendy: Aww.. (she picks him up) Kyle: Dude! I think I'm gonna puke. (he leans over to a garbage can and gagging is heard.) (Wendy is hugging Ike. He has a little heart above his head.) Kyle: Can I turn around now? (sees Wendy and Ike) THAT'S F*bleep*ING SICKENING! (he slams his head against the wall) Stan: Whoa, dude! Wendy: You're so lucky to have such a cute little brother, Kyle. MY brother got arrested 3 times. Kyle: Dude, no way! Noone is worse than Ike! He's not even my real brother, he's adopted! Bebe(adoring Ike,also) (mumbling): Well, THAT explains alot. Cartman: Huh? Bebe: Um, nothing. (Suddenly, a hard knock is heard at the door.) Lois: Who the Hell is that, Marty? Your drinking buddies?! (Mr.McCormick, Jimbo, and Ned step in) Marty: Yup! Mr.McCormick: Ya ready? They're giving away free scotch today! Marty: Really? Kick ass! (he runs outside with the others, slamming the door on his way out) Lois(under her breath): Lazy bastard. (Jake enters the kitchen, smoking) Jake: Hey, if Dad leaves can I have his collection of Crack Whore magazine? (Lois gives him a death stare.) Jake: Uh.. I'll take that as a yes. (he walks away.) (another sudden, hard knock is heard at the door) Lois: WHAT THE HELL DOES HE WANT NOW?! (she stomps over to the door, and looks around. There's noone there.) What the.. (a snowball smacks her in the face.) GODDAMN PUNKS!
(Scene: Mestapho's Lab) Brittany: So when do I get my lollipop?!?! Chef: Huh? What the Hell are you talking 'bout, girl? Mestapho(pulls Chef aside): The only way I could get this bimbo to be bait for the snowman is to give her a lollipop. Chef: Um.. Yeah. Brittany: Where's the lollipop?!?! Is it cherry?!? I loooove cherry, and Kevvy buys me cherry lollipops at all his games!!! Chef(to Mestapho): Give the prozac-girl a damn lollipop! I want to get this over with, I'm uh.. Expecting some company later tonight. Mestapho: Sure, there's just one problem. Chef: What is it? Mestapho: I don't have a lollipop. Brittany(overhearing them): WHAT?! What do you mean you don't have a lollipop?!?!?! No cherry sucker, no deal!!! Chef: Uh, I have something else. Brittany: A raspberry swirl ring pop?!?! Chef: ..No.. Brittany: Then what?!?! Chef: Um.. (he takes out a box of his Salty Chocolate Balls) Try these. (Brittany takes a handfull, then grins.) Brittany: Okay, I'll do it!!!
(Scene: Bar) (Marty Testaburger is seated with Mr.McCormick, Uncle Jimbo, and Ned Gerblandky. They all seem slightly drunk.) Mr.McCormick: I think we all had enough beer for one sitting, Marty. Even me. (Marty is shown sadly gulping down some alcohol) Ned: Mmmyes I think that you should leave some left for the other customersmmmm. Marty: But I can't go home! Where the Hell am I supposed to go? Uncle Jimbo: Why can't ya go home, there, buddy? Marty(quietly): Lo-Lo. Mr.McCormick(chokes on his drink): Lo-Lo?! (Marty nods) Ned: MmmmI think he means Loismmmmm. Uncle Jimbo: Er.. Um, you two have a fight? Marty: Yeah.. She just.. just couldn't understand something.. We have differances. Mr.McCormick: On what, son? Marty: Me and Roschiere.. Uncle Jimbo: You're cheating on her with someone named "Roschiere"? Ned: Mmmmso she's freemmm? (the other three men look at each other.) Marty: NO, DAMMIT! Roschiere sauce.. Uncle Jimbo, Ned, Mr.McCormick: Ohhh. Marty: She.. She just can't understand what Roschiere sauce means to me... (he starts crying like a woman) Wahhhhhhh!!!!!!! This sucks!!!! Uncle Jimbo(patting his shoulder): There, there, Marty. Just think. Clear your mind. Choose~ What's more important.. A beautiful wife, two good kids.. Marty: Jake's an escaped convict. Uncle Jimbo: Well, ONE good kid, a nice peaceful life.. Or some goddamn sauce made from Cheesy Poof leftovers? Marty: Uh... (the others look at him. Other people in the bar turn to stare at him. A bartender walks up and looks at him. Barbrady enters.) Officer Barbrady: Okay, people, move along, nothing to see here. Mr.McCormick: Well?! Marty: I choose.. I choose... ROSCHIERE SAUCE! (Everyone stares at him blankly) Marty: Uh.. Just kidding? (The bartender shakes his head.)
(Scene: Outside) (Brittany is tied to a flag pole, with Chef, Mestapho and Kevin standing close) Mestapho: The evil snowman should be here soon..
(sorry this part is so short! like it? hate it? I'd appreciate all comments!)