FANTASTIC JOURNEY (PART 8 (of 10))
__________________________________ Some accents have not been applied __________________________________ __________________________________
We pick the scene back up in the Genetic engineers' lab. Chef is unconscious laying on the operating table. He ate too many 'funky' muffins (as per part I). Most of the towns people are there. Bill Clinton is also there (as per part I). TV cameras are also there. Some of the signs and banners read: "Save Chef", "Come back alive Kyle", "Stan Kyle Eric Kenny....WE LOVE YOU!!!", "Save the whales" and "Screw you! Democrats". The 4 boys stand next to their submarine. They are ready to be shrunk down and injected into Chefs body. Mephisto and Kevin have the shrink-ray all warmed up. It's that wierd, cylindrical thing that's pointing directly at the boys heads. Kenny is holding a small 'Stars and Stripes', Cartman has a tray of sandwiches (his mom made them.....for everybody).
Clinton: "OK now boys, when you come back from this incredibly brave and risky mission, you will be treated like kings by every white...I mean American ...on earth.....god be with you"
Kenny: "Mmm'm mmmmmm mmmmmm mmmmmmmm mm Mmmmmmm?" -{Don't forget those pictures of Hillary?}
Kyle: "And don't forget, if we get back - you have to buy up all of the Middle East and give it to Isreal.....right dad?"
Camera pans to the Brawslovsky's in the crowd.
Mrs. B: (crying) "I can't even speak" Mr. B: "You're making us both very proud!" Ike: "Fwoot woop, I'm da'kingof da'castle"
Stan: "And don't forget my million bucks?! And Englands' royal crown jewels?"
Clinton is quietly nodding.
Cartman: "That's right!, and don't forget my.."
Clinton: (interupts) "I know, I know, you want McDonalds to change their logo from the golden arches, to your fat, I mean smiling face"
Cartman: "...cool"
Cartman farts.
Cartman: "'Scuse me"
Kyle: "(pissed off) Don't do that in the f*cking submarine lard butt?"
Cartman: "Yeah right dude, don't you know the Rhyme of The Ancient Mariner?"
Stan: "...No, I hate Iron Maiden"
Cartman: "Ok then, I will tell you....well, it seems that many years ago, an old sailer named A-rab found an albatross when he was stranded out at sea. But he farted on the albatross, and the albatross got all pissed off was like 'Ay, you don't do that again...you...you librarian' and then he flew away. But came back the next day with Clint Eastwood and killed the old sailor...w-with a baseball bat!.... and ever since then, it's been bad luck to fart onboard a submarine"
Kenny tightens his hood. Kyles' eyes widen.
Stan: "No way dude....you'd better fart now then ".
Camera pans around to see Mr Garrison throwing a bunch of flowers.
Mr. Garrison: "I love you boys, please come back..... (to Mr. Hat) Mr. Hat, would you stop making a fool out of yourself...you're such a pansy"
Mephisto: "Now boys,...quickly, time is of the essence....this big ray-gun thing is ready to shrink you to the size of a ...really...small...submarine"
The engineer looks at the viewer, blinks and then helps the boys in to the sub.
Kenny: "Mmm!"
-{Bye!}Stan/Kyle/Cartman: " Bye mom/ dog Sparky/ Mom/Can't call black people that!/Cheezy Poofs for supper/ Not gonna' fart!/F*ckin' assh*le!"
The engineer closes the submarines' 'lid'. He then retreats and presses the red button. Kevin follows. A slow moving, visible blue light is emmitted from the machine and covers the boys & the sub. It makes a wierd buzzing noise, then stops. The sub cannot be seen.
The crowd gasps.
Barbrady: "Hooo! That certain.... ly....was"
The crowd gasps...again. 'Oh my god!' is heard.
Ned: " MmmF*ckmmm"
Camera pans.Yoshi is giving the middle finger directly to the camera.
Yoshi: " Pearl Harbour this...cookies!"
Clinton is praying.
Clinton: "Think I'd like me a cheerleader on the team bus, about now"
Go to commercial. Scene sees the engineer with a syringe, he's putting an injection into Chefs' stomach. The boys are shot inside Chef's body. They are miniaturized inside a teeny sub. The whole thing looks pretty darn psychadelic....man. Inside the sub.
Stan: "Holy crap!"
Cartman: "What the....fffff"
Kyle: "F*ck!"
Cartman: "I've been dipped in sh*t...he's pink on the inside!"
Stan: "Kenny, you can open your eyes now"
Kenny: "Mm-mm" -{Uh-uh}
Kyle: "Cool, you can see what Chef ate for breakfast"
Kenny: "Mm mm mm mm" -{No no no no}
Cartman: "Man, you really are such a little wuss Kenny. Open your eyes Kenny. Dammit o-pen them"
Cartman flies into a bit of a 'Cartman rage' Scene switches to view of the sub. Cartman's Voice is echoing around inside Chef's body.
Stan: "Kenny, don't forget that the genital engineer put you in the drivers seat"
Kenny: "Mm mmmm" -{Oh yeah}
Kenny's eyes open. He puts the subs' auto shifter into 'D', puts his foot down and goes. There is a slight 'rubber on asphalt' sound and then more of a Jetsons' spaceship sound.
Inside the sub.
Stan: "Slow down Kenny, you might hit something"
Kyle: "Whatch out for those platelets Kenny!....Holy f*ck, Chefs' platelets are huge"
Cartmans' can of Pepsi flies out of his hands.
Cartman: "Slow down dammit! You spilled my drink"
Kenny: "Mmmmmmmmmm!" -{hahahahaha!}
Scene switches to Chef laying on the operating table. He's mumbling something.
Chef: " Vanessa Redgrave, you are insatiable woman"
Engineer: "Kevin, give him some more of that....that stuff"
He gestures towards the anesthetic set up. Kevin 'ups' the anesthetic. Chef quietens down.
Chef: "There...you...go...again"
Scene pans to see a reporter from Channel 4 doing a live remote.
Reporter: "And these tiny....cut!....again....And these really teeny, little, minute, can't even see 'em, smaller than a bug, microscopic, petite, semi-invisible, infinitely weeny, runty, infinitesimal , eensy-weensy"
Pan to Clinton. He's on the cellular.
Clinton: "Hillary, what do you mean Iraq is in the middle East...it can't be."
Clinton sees Mrs. Cartman walk by.
Clinton: "I'll talk to you later, honey, Yassir Arafat wants me to shoot some more crack with him. I gotta go..bye"
Clinton sees another TV camera pointing at him.
Clinton: "Do you mind turning that television camera off please"
Switch to a view of the sub speeding through the inside of Chefs' body. The Jetson's spaceship sound again.
Kyle: "Left Kenny...go left!"
Cartman: "Can we stop at like a gas station, I want some cheezy puffs, and some licorice, some minty babies, a two-pack of fruity rolls, a."
Stan interrupts
Stan?": "Cartman, how can you eat at a time like this?"
Kyle: "Make the second left after his appendix Kenny"
Kenny: "Mmmmm mmm'm mmm mmmmmmmm?" -{Which one's the appendix?}
Kyle: "It's the big pink one"
Stan: "Dude!, they're all big and pink"
Kyle: "...oh yeah"
Cartman: "What!, Kyle did you get us lost? I knew we shouldn't have let a Jew navigate a submarine"
Cartman farts.
Kyle: "Cartman, you f*ckin' sh*thead!"
Sta: "What about the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner?"
Kenny: "Mm'm MM, M,mm mmmm mmmmmmm mmm mmmmm'm mmmm mmmm mmmmmmmm...mmm mm mmmmmmmm" -{It's OK, I've been looking and haven't seen much wildlife...and NO seabirds}
Stan: "Albatross?"
Cartman: "What flavour is it?"
Kyle: "It's f*cking seabird flavor!"
Cartman: "Oh... that sounds pretty good right about now"
Kyle: "Kenny, this looks familiar, park over there next to that....colon"
Kenny: "Mmmmm mmmmmmmmmm mmmm mmmm mmm mmmmm mmmm" -{Those corpustles look like big white t*ts}
The boys all laugh.
Cartman tries to open the subs' hatch.
Stan: "Dude, you can't go out there"
Cartman: "Why not. I need to take a leak...over there behind that big blue tree"
Kyle: "Cartman, that isn't a tree...thats Chefs'.... no I don't know what that is...it kinda does look like a tree"
Kenny: "Mmmmm mm'm mmm, mmmmm mmmmmm mmmm?"
-{Maybe it's Chefs' big, black garden hose?}
The boys Laugh. Switch scenes to out side the sub. Another submarine arrives. It has blue and red flashing lights.
Barbrady: (On his external speaker) "OK boys, pull it over!...come on, I don't want any trouble!"
On board the other sub. Kenny hits the gas. Jetsons sound again. Cartman puts his seatbelt on.
Cartman: "Go Kenny....sweeet"
Stan: "Kenny, you can't out run the fuzz. What's the matter with you?"
Kyle: "Go straight!...go straight!"
Barbrady avoids the big blue tree and is now in pursuit. Very psychadelic.
Barbrady: "Whooa, I'll get you kids....I hope you filled out your organ donor cards!"
Other sub.
Stan: "Cool, what's that big yellow thing?"
Cartman: "It looks like my mom's banana suprise that she makes sometimes"
Kyle: "It's Chef's breakfast!"
Stan: (Barfs)"Thats disgusting dude"
Switch to Barbrady's Sub. He's driving very slowly and looking around.
Barbrady: " I wonder if I could buy some vacation property down here?...I bet it's expensive"
Barbrady is in a very groovy part of Chefs body...his bladder. We go to the other sub. Kenny is driving quite slowly
Stan: "Where are we?"
Kyle: "We're in one of Chefs' fallopian tubes"
Cartman: " I didn't know Chef played the fallopian tube"
Kyle: "Keep going this way, I saw Barbrady going down towards Chef's bladder"
Kenny: "Mmmmm mm'mm mmmmmm mmmm Mmmm'm Mmm Mmmmmmmm"
-{Maybe he'll crash into Chefs Vas Deferans}
Stan: "Whats a Vas Deferans?"
Cartman: (Looks at camera) "Lets not do that whole Vas Deferans thing again"
End of Part 8
Thanks, Dave