FREE PENGUIN MEAT, the fanfic.
(Ashley's room.Kyle and Ashley are in Ashley's bed.[NOT DOING ANY SEX ACTS!]A mass assortment of firearms line the walls.) Kyle:(shivering.)Dude,I'm cold.Ashley hugs Kyle. Ashley begins to snore.A penguin walks into the room with a meat cleaver and hacks itself apart. Next morning... Kyle and Ashley are at a booth. Ashley:Free penguin [address] it here! Kyle:What she said!
The end.