South Park on trial

Jun 27, 199820 posts by 13 postersalt.tv.southpark
20 posts

Show start, four kids start to make fun of gay nazi communists when policemasn grab, Under arrest,. Come along. Take to courthosue evetryone town there scowling at them. Judge look at them and say guilty, semntence to lifetime torture but dont worrie shouudln not taek long. What we do what we do? they scream crying. Mayor and policeman take them up on stage in front everyone strip off clothes and chain up. statrt beating with chain. Wy whay whay? sob kiyylle Sometimes when ream, getr reamed back say Mr. Gayriosn, who seem really enjoy whipping their bare butts. He mayor and policeman take four Ameircan flags on poles and start sticking them up butts. Hee hee bet worse than alien probe, say Mayor. She laugh They look at tree next to them ans see Chef's body been lynched. OHhh yeah, Huhh, boggie, a dead body so stiff, uhhhh!, say Mr. Gayrsion, he add Know I not as funklyie as ol black Chef, he bred for beeing funkies on plantation times. Then mayor take knife and start dismemebering Kimiie slowly Kil say Omigod they....... whaaaap! Policeman hit so hard head snap back and jaw breake, He keep trying say it but broken mouth only gurgles out blood. Everyone cheer and appluad cause sick of hearing. I prefer when always says isnt that speshail myself, say mayor as she grinning,. But if kill Kim he just cum bakc lief, say police. Okay say mayor we just get to haev fun slowly killing evry day. Cartsman start beg for mercie. Policmean say okay, Ill show mercy by helping looose waight. he take knife and cut into stomuch anfd start pulling out guts with cartmans still alive, he in sjhock tooo much amlmost too cry. then got to jewish kid with swaxtika bvrand and put on fiorehead and both cheeks (butt and face) He screem as eveyone in crowde their vcome up and spit in his faec. Then take cattle prods and start shocking all fouir and then whippingwith chain if scream. Then Jesus come and they say help us , jjesues, Jesus say Screw you, what you ever do for me? So San say trhu swolen bloudy lips, Hell with you , jesus, hoep you die on cross agfain. JEsus say that it, veruly I say unto thou, see how thou dost like it. So nail all four bosys on crossess AND LEAVE TO SLOWLY DIE, Biggay Al come and he say I miss anything? So thay let him probe Cartsman and Kills butts before on cross. Give AIDS in cases dont die dright away. GAy dog gets do other two. As on cross, Jessu and preecher come and maek eat Bibblle pages. PAyback time hell sisnt it? say Jessus. ROTFL like I am ?

JediDocWonmugalt.tv.southpark

Hardly. Oh and supposedly you can't spell worth crap but you know to use "ROTFL" and it's meaning. You are so full of it.

-Jedi

Hey, hey, Lindsay, Snow, and I are on AOL!

Marguerrite, Hunter of the Infamous Matt and Trey (they call me Kim, but I know better) Aka Crabtree-Norn "Sit down and shut up!" "&^*$ Censorship!"-originated on alt.tv.southpark

GUMPELS wrote in message ...

Exactly

Yashar

Just kidding of course.......

know

Excuse me, Yashar, is there a problem we haven't addressed yet?

Marguerrite, Hunter of the Infamous Matt and Trey (they call me Kim, but I know better) Aka Crabtree-Norn "Sit down and shut up!" "&^*$ Censorship!"-originated on alt.tv.southpark

GUMPELS wrote in message ...

<sig snipped>

Well actually Kimmy, if you went down a little further on that message it says "Just kidding of course...." Hello! Its not like I would want to offend SnowCalico. As to "a problem we haven't addressed yet" I have no idea what you are talking about.

Mucho apologies, mi amigo. (It's Ned and Jimbo with Spanish 101!)

Ha. Ha ha. Let's all be friends, ok?

I mean 'do you have some sort of problem with me that we haven't quite sorted out yet'. I thought you'd figure it out...

Marguerrite, Hunter of the Infamous Matt and Trey (they call me Kim, but I know better) Aka Crabtree-Norn "Sit down and shut up!" "&^*$ Censorship!"-originated on alt.tv.southpark

In article , GUMPELS writes

Sorry for length of this, but I just felt the urge to post it - its an golden oldie :)

Diary of an AOL User.

July 18 - I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it is the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I'd better hold onto it incase they don't ever send me anther one! I can't connect. I don't know what is wrong.

July 19 - Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am?

July 22 - I bought the modem. I couldn't figure out where it goes. It wouldn't fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused.

July 23 - I finally got the modem in and hooked up. that nine year old next door did it for me. But it still don't work. I cant get online.

July 25 - That nine year old kid next door hooked me up to America Online for me. He's so smart. I told the kid he was a prodigy. But he says that's just another service. What a modest kid. He's so smart and he does these services for people. Anyway he's smarter then the jerks who sold me the modem. They didn't even tell me about communications software. Bet they didn't know. And why do they put two telephone jack holes in the back of a modem when you only need one? And why do they have one labeled phone when you are not suppose to hook it to the phone jack on the wall? I thought the dial tone sounded funny! Boy, are modem makers dumb! But the kid figured it out by the sound.

July 26 - What's the internet? I thought I was on America Online. Not this internet thing. I'm confused.

July 27 - The nine year old kid next door showed me how to use this America Online stuff. I told him he must be a genius. He says that he is compared to me. Maybe he's not so modest after all.

July 28 - I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but nothing happened. maybe I need to buy a microphone.

July 29 - I found this thing called usenet. I got out of it because I'm connected to America Online not usenet.

July 30 - These people in this usenet thing keep using capital letters. How do they do that? I never figured out how to type capital letters. Maybe they have a different type of keyboard.

JULY 31 - I CALLED THE COMPUTER MAKER I BOUGHT IT FROM TO COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT HAVING A CAPITOL LETTER KEY. THE TECH SUPPORT GUY SAID IT WAS THIS CAPS LOCK KEY. WHY DIDN'T THEY SPELL IT OUT? I TOLD HIM I GOT A CHEAP KEYBOARD AND WANTED A BETTER ONE. AND ONE OF MY SHIFT KEYS ISNT THE SAME SIZE AS THE OTHER. HE SAID THATS A STANDARD. I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T WANT A STANDARD KEYBOARD BUT ANOTHER BRAND. I MUST HAVE HAD AN IMPORTANT COMPLAINT BECAUSE I HEARD HIM TELL THE OTHER SUPPORT GUYS TO LISTEN IN ON OUR CONVERSATION.

AUGUST 1 - I FOUND THIS THING CALLED THE USENET ORACLE. IT SAYS THAT IT CAN ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS I ASK IT. I SENT IT 44 SEPARATE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INTERNET. I HOPE IT RESPONDS SOON.

AUGUST 2 - I FOUND A GROUP CALLED REC.HUMOR. I DECIDED TO POST THIS JOKE ABOUT THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD. TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! HA! HA! I WASNT SURE I POSTED IT RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 56 MORE TIMES.

AUGUST 3 - I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THE WORLD WIDE WEB. I DON'T NOW SPIDERS GREW THAT LARGE.

AUGUST 4 - THE ORACLE RESPONDED TO MY QUESTIONS TODAY. GEEZ IT WAS RUDE. I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I POSTED AN ANGRY MESSAGE ABOUT IT TO REC.HUMOR.ORACLE. I WASNT SURE IF I POSTED RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 22 MORE TIMES.

AUGUST 5 - SOMEONE TOLD ME TO READ THE FAQ. GEEZ THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO USE PROFANITY.

AUGUST 6 - SOMEONE ELSE TOLD ME TO STOP SHOUTING IN ALL MY MESSAGES. WHAT A STUPID JERK. IM NOT SHOUTING! IM NOT EVEN TALKING! JUST TYPING! HOW CAN THEY LET THESE RUDE JERKS GO ON THE INTERNET?

August 7 - Why have a Caps Lock key if you're not suppose to use it? Its probably an extra feature that costs more money.

August 8 - I just read this post called make money fast. I'm so exited. I'm going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted it to every newsgroup I could find.

August 9 - I just made my signature file. Its only 6 pages long. I will have to work on it some more.

August 10 - I just looked at a group called alt.aol.sucks. I read a few posts and I really believe that aol should be wiped off the face of the earth. I wonder what an aol is.

August 11 - I was asking where to find some information about something. Some guy told me to check out ftp.netcom.com. I've looked and looked but I can't find that group.

August 12 - I sent a post to every usenet group on the Internet asking where the ftp.netcom.com is. hopefully someone will help. I cant ask the kid next door. His parents said that when he comes back from my house he's laughing so hard he can't eat or sleep or do his homework. So they wont let him come over anymore. I do have a great sense of humor. I don't know why the rec.humor group didn't like my chicken joke. Maybe they only like dirty stuff. Some people sent me posts about my 56 posts of the joke and they used bad words.

August 13 - I sent another post to every usenet group on the Internet asking where the ftp.netcom.com is. I had forgot yesterday to include my new signature file which is only 8 pages long. I know everyone will want to read my favorite poem so I included it. I'm also going to add that short story I like.

August 14 - Some guy suspended my account because of what I was doing. I told him I don't have an account at his bank. He's so dumb.

<grins and runs away>

Cerian

<snipity snip, and snip yet again> That should be called 'Diary of Someone Who Gives AOL a Bad Name'. Because I've met plenty of intelligent people on AOL. (and I know a few people who are considered to be 'newbies' but are rather smart in real life..like my mom) Anyway, if I had posted this from another server...such as a xoom account.. .would you have known I used AOL?

Marguerrite, Hunter of the Infamous Matt and Trey (they call me Kim, but I know better) Aka Crabtree-Norn "Sit down and shut up!" "&^*$ Censorship!"-originated on alt.tv.southpark

In article , GUMPELS writes

Maybe I should have added another line - don't take it personally it was just a response to someone on about AOL or as we know it here A**holes on Line :) And yes, I know that's as old as the hills as well.

Cerian

In article ,

Uh... this may be a little *on topic,* but I got mail from the good doctor. He *can* spell apparently. He insulted us SP watchers. He actually looks pretty intelligent. Now, off-topic. Ya gotta wonder why AOL users have a bad rep. Most of them are pretty smart. I'd say most trolls come from AOL (no offense to AOL users, but they do :) ).

I'M MAD NOW. WHERE'S MY .SIG?

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In article , Cerian writes:

<snip>

Heh. We don't know anyone like this, do we?

Jeremy B

"Our special tonight is poached 'go to hell'"- Crow T. Robot

In article , [email] (DocWonmug) wrote: <The pervert's grammar has been cleaned up so you can understand the bullsh*t he brings...>

You are such a damn pervert... do you get off on writing this crap?

Oh, you're an anti-american too?

You are such a f*cking racist. Who dropped you when you were a kid? Racists disgust me. You most of all, son of a b*tch. I really, really hate people like you.

You must have fantasies about abusing small children.

every day."

Man, you need to take out your anger on something other than fake people...

crowd there comes up and spits in his face.

You are such a motherf*cking antisematist. At least we know that some people are going to burn in hell. You're so full of bullsh*t your eyes are brown. God, people like this I can't stand.

Oh, so you're a homophobe, too, huh? And a child molester. And somebody that doesn't like people with AIDS. I'm sure you're well-liked.

ROTF Wishing you'd leave us the f*ck alone. Go to hell you stupid, perverted piece of crap. God, a racist, an antisemantist, a child molester, and more.

I'll quote a NIRVANA song here (actually, a Devo song, but NIRVANA covered it and it's the only version I've heard):

                  "Take a step outside yourself
                   And turn around
                   Take a look at who you are
                   It's pretty scary
                   So silly
                   It is revolting
                   You're not much
                   If you are anything
                   Take a step outside the city
                   And turn around
                   Take a look at what you are
                   It is revolting
                   You're really nowhere
                   So wasteful
                   So foolish
                   Poppycock
                   Who said don't look back?
                   Don't believe 'em
                   Go for that crazy sounding restaurant
                   Cause they're gonna try and get behind you
                   Don't you let them do it
                   You know what I'm talking about?
                   You hear me talking?
                   You hear me talking?
                   It's pretty scary, totally, it's so revolting
                   It's pretty scary, totally, it's so revolting
                   It's pretty scary, totally, it's so revolting
                   ugggg!
                   Take a step outside the country
                   And you turn around
                   Take a look at what you are
                   It is amazing
                   Take a good look
                   You're no big deal
                   You're so petty
                   It's a laugh
                   Take a step outside the planet
                   Turn around and around
                   Take a look at what you are
                   It's pretty scary"
                   -- Nirvana, Turnaround
                      (originally by Devo)

-----> the davester: [email] You truely are a sad, sad little man.

Nirvana Song Encyclopedia: http://dgisoft.home.ml.org/nirvana/ The 'Trolls of AMN' Webpage: http://dgisoft.home.ml.org/troll/ alt.tv.southpark.fanfic FAQ: http://www.geocities.com/~dgisoft/faq/

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<cheers> Go Davester! Yeah Davester! Ignore this fuckin' cretin!

Marguerrite, Hunter of the Infamous Matt and Trey (they call me Kim, but I know better) Aka Crabtree-Norn "Sit down and shut up!" "&^*$ Censorship!"-originated on alt.tv.southpark

In [email] (DocWonmug) writes:

Not when it's not funny.

BTW, you think you might be skating close to the edge of a TOS violation there? I mean, really...

([email] is the complaint address at AOL, btw)

DEF-initely AOL.

DocWonmug ([email]) wrote:

This may seem obvious to you, but there are plenty of people in USENET who post similarly with COMPLETE sincerity.

The difference is that South Park uses mean-spirited *humor*. Your posts are just mean-spirited. There's no humor. Get it?

--Chauvlin Stegosauvlin

Sorry fella, I only did English, Math and the sciences, I can't understand a word you say. Are you on King of the Hill?

P DocWonmug wrote in message ...

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