Damn, I must have given away the plot with that subject line. Sigh. Well, a disclaimer: This story is somewhat fucked up. I do not think this is how it will turn out when Kenny is unhooded (in fact, I'm hoping it *won't* turn out like this), I'm only writing this because I feel the need to write something screwed up, and because I'm trying to humor everyone out there who thinks that Kenny isn't actually male. Now, onto the fanfic.
Kendra - Kenny McCormick wandered through the alleys of South Park, glancing around from time to time to ensure nobody was following him. This was the first time in his life that he was going to remove his hood, and he wanted to be alone for the first unmasking. Nobody could know yet. He found a large cardboard box on its side in the alley, and slipped into it after looking around one more time. His hands went to his hood, and stopped there. Should he take it off? It seemed like even the walls had eyes now. He chided himself for being paranoid, and pulled the hood down. Long brown hair, a bit matted from the long residence under the hood, cascaded down around the child's shoulders. If anybody had been around at the moment, they would have fainted at the sight. Kendra pulled a hand mirror from somewhere in her parka and studied her reflection coolly. "Not bad, for hiding under that hood all these years," she observed. Putting the hand mirror in her lap for temporary storage, she wondered how the guys would take it - she'd been their friend for her whole life (or her many lives, however you wanted to put it), and they thought she was a boy. A perverted boy, at that. Hell, everyone in South Park except for her parents and her older brother thought she was male. It had been a neat trick, fooling them all for so long. But now everyone would find out the truth - starting with Stan Marsh, Kyle Broslofski, and Eric Cartman. Kendra stood up, and the hand mirror fell onto the ground, shattering. She sighed. "Dammit, that's another seven years," she muttered. - "Where the hell is Kenny?" Cartman whined. "Is he dead again? If he is, I'm gonna kill'im!" "Relax, Cartman," Kyle said. "He said he'd be here, and he will be. No big deal if he's late." They were waiting for Kenny to show up. He had called them all a couple days ago, promising that he would meet them at the bus stop on Saturday at noon, unhooded. Now it was Saturday, fast approaching noon. Kyle checked his watch - 11:54. "What if he never shows up?" Cartman growled. "What if he's sitting at home, laughing down his sleeve at all of us for sitting at the bus stop on a Saturday like a bunch of hippies?" "He'll come," Stan stated. "I don't think he'd go back on his word. He may be weird, he may be a pervert, but he isn't a liar." 11:57. "He said he'd meet us at noon!" Cartman insisted. "It's noon now, and he isn't here!" "11:57," Kyle corrected. "Oh, let's just split hairs then." The boys waited in silence for a while. Kyle looked at the watch again. 11:59 and 10 seconds to go. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. "Hey, guys, what's up?" a voice greeted cheerfully just as Kyle's watch hit 12:00. The boys looked at the unfamiliar girl who had appeared. Pretty normal looking brunette, dressed in an orange coat. None of the boys had seen her before. "Who are you, dude?" Stan asked the girl. She grinned. "This jacket doesn't look familiar?" she teased, gesturing to her coat. The boys' eyes widened as the realization dawned on them. "KENNY??" they yelled in unison. An extremely smug look came over the girl's face. "Mmm-hmmm," she said, obviously relishing the situation. "Hid it pretty well, didn't I? Fooled everyone." "Dude, this is supremely fucked-up right here!" Stan said. "What-why-how come we never-you never told-but we-" Kyle was tongue-tied. Kenny was a *girl?* He took a deep breath and tried to organize his thoughts enough that they would cooperate with his tongue. "Why didn't you ever tell us?" Kenny/Kendra shrugged. "At first I just never got around to telling you, then I decided to wait a little longer and drop it on everyone then to see the reactions." "But - wait a minute - some of the things you've done or said..." Stan trailed off. "Some of it was to throw people off. Like that joke about Cartman's m-- d-- parent sucking my dick - obviously I don't actually *have* one, so that was to mislead you." "Don't call it a dick!" Cartman scolded. "You're supposed to call it a fireman!" "But there's some other stuff you've said that *doesn't* imply you have a d-- fireman," Kyle said. "Was that to throw us off too?" Kendra shrugged again. "Partially." "*Partially*?" "Hey - can't a girl be bisexual?" Kyle and Stan felt like they were about to faint. They'd known this kid their whole lives, and they had never known the truth about her *gender*. It was so damned strange. Cartman, however, seemed strangely unfazed. "Well Kenny, if you're a girl, I guess I better tell you something." "What's that?" Kendra asked suspiciously. "Get your ass in the kitchen and make me a pie!" Kendra closed her eyes for a second, then sauntered over to Cartman, staring into his eyes. Cartman looked uneasy, not sure what she was going to do. He soon found out as her fist connected with his face with painful force, sending him sprawling onto his back. Kyle and Stan laughed. "I guess that makes two girls around here that you don't fuck with," Stan grinned. "Wendy and Ken--" He stopped. "Uh, what should we call you now?" "Kendra, or if it's easier, you can still call me Kenny," Kendra said. "Okay," Stan acknowledged. "Wait, where're you going?" he asked, as Kendra started to walk away. "To show everyone else who I am," she called over her shoulder. "I wonder how Jimbo's gonna react when he finds out that his honorary nephew is an honorary niece," Kyle commented. "He'll probably do one of three things: faint, shoot her, or shoot himself," Stan answered. The three boys stood there, staring after Kendra, wondering how everyone else would react to seeing the true identity of the mysterious hooded child.
Feedback, please. Did you like this? Should I write more? If so, any ideas for what might happen?
Alyssa