Millennium Eve In South Park Part 1

Hi, Here's my latest fanfic, inspired by listening to the Top 40 every Sunday. Zo� is in it again and anyone who wants to use her in their fanfics can. Comments and Criticism are very welcome. Warning: The following fanfic features Cliff Richard.

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New Year's Eve In South Park Stan: Your mom's pretty sweet letting us stay in your basement tonight Cartman. Cartman: That's right! Kyle: She might be a shit eater but she's really nice! Cartman: That's righ..Ai! Zo�: I don't think we should be down here guys. They reckon that tonight could be Armageddon. Stan: Rubbish. The Millennium Bug is the only thing we have to worry about. Kyle: Yeah. They reckon that nuclear bombs could be launched accidentally. Cartman: At least if they do launch, it will warm the place up a bit. Stan: Cartman! If they launch they'll destroy everything! Zo�: I bet more dangerous things have probably come out of Cartman's ass! Stan: Yeah. Remember when he farted fire? (Flashback to Cartman Gets An Anal Probe. We see images of Cartman farting about 6 different times.) Kyle: That was a pretty sticky situation! Kenny: <Let's not start on that again> Stan: Anyway, what food has your mom given us Cartman? Cartman: Well, here we have some Cheesy Poofs, Beefy Logs, Snacky Cakes & Pineapple Chunks on sticks. Kyle: Kick ass. Music? Zo�: Barber's Adagio For Strings, Imagine, Wonderwall, Parklife and The Millennium Prayer.... Stan: The Millennium Prayer!? That bullshit by Cliff Richard? Zo�: It's better than that fucking Rewind record. Kyle: True. Kenny: <Put on Imagine. I love that song.> Cartman: Yeah. So do I. Stan: What?! You like Imagine? Cartman: What's wrong with that? Stan: Nothing. It's just we thought you'd like Britney Spears like my sister or something. Zo�: Calm down you guys. This is the start of a new dawn. A new Millennium. And hopefully an end to all boy bands. Kyle: Let's hope so. Kenny: <Put Imagine on.> (Cartman puts it on. John Lennon starts to sing. Lennon: Imagine there's no heaven..... Stan: I wonder how many more times they'll re-release this. Kyle: Probably so many times we get fed up to the back teeth with it. (Door opens.) Liane: Would you like some more Cheesy Poofs? Cartman: No Mom. Bring down some more Pepsi Max. Zo�: Trying to loose weight Cartman? Cartman: No. I only weigh 90 pounds. Zo�: (Rolls eyes) and 90 pound isn't overweight for a kid. (Imagine is still playing in the background.) Lennon: Imagine all the people.... (Time passes. 5 minutes till Midnight. Cartman is asleep on the floor, snoring loudly.) Kyle: 5 minutes till 2000. Stan: Have we got Auld Lang Syne? Zo�: Yep. I'll put it on when Wonderwall finishes. Stan: You know, this century has seen the most deaths in war since the beginning of time. It's time the World leaders actually tried to do something about world peace. Kenny: <Yeah. And it will only be so long until this planet is totally inhabitable. We're destroying the rainforest's at such a rate that soon all the species that need them to survive will all be extinct.> (Wonderwall is still playing) Liam Gallagher: Backbeat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out... Kyle: Two minutes. Stan: I'll wake Cartman. (Starts shaking him.) Stan: (Bellows) CARTMAN! Wake up! It's nearly time. Cartman: Fuck off! (rolls over) Zo�: Lovely. His language is getting better. Kyle: Leave him alone. Minute to go. Zo�: I'll put Auld Lang Syne on. (It begins.) Kyle: 10 seconds. All: 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0! Happy New Millennium! All: ...For Auld Lang Syne! (Boom!) Kyle: What was that!? (Lights go out. The stereo goes dead. Silence) Zo�: What the hell just happened? Kyle: I don't know. Stan: Listen. There's not any noise at all. Kenny: <Let's go outside and see.> Stan: Yeah. Come on. (Scamps go to leave) Zo�: No wait. What if a nuke did just go off? Kyle: If it had, it would have blown the whole of the house away with us with in it. I bet it was just a really big firework or something. Zo�: What?! That blew all the electricity! Kyle, you're such a retard! Kenny: <Calm down. It's not the end of the world.> Zo�: What if it is!? They'll be nobody left! We're all going to die horrible lingering deaths from nuclear fallout! Our bodies will turn inside out! Our body parts will fall off and our brains will disintegrate! What are we going to do! Ah! (Door opens) Liane: Are you ok? Something exploded. The electricity's gone off. Kyle: Zoe's gone crazy but apart from that we're ok. Liane: Come up here and we can find out what happened. Stan: Fat ass, I mean Eric's asleep. Liane: Oh, just say you've got cheesy poofs. That should wake him up. Cartman: Uh. Cheesy poofs? Where? Kyle: Woah. (Kids leave the basement and go up into the house.) Zo�: What's that red haze outside? Stan: It's probably a fire. Zo�: A fire?! We'll be burned alive! Roasted! Kyle: Oh god! She's going mental again. Stan: Come on. Let's see what it is out there. (kids go outside) Kyle: Holy shit!

And that's the end of part one.

Of course, I should mention that Millennium's Eve isn't until December 31, 2000. Sorry, just had to point that out, since everyone obviously thinks it's this year. After all, we've still got a whole year of the 20th Century left. If you doubt this, go to:

http://aa.usno.navy.mil/AA/faq/docs/millennium.html

I'll shut up now. I'm just kinda pissed since the news media INSISTS on telling everyone it's this year.

Yeah your right. Technically, the new millenium begins on Jan. 1st 2001. But try to tell everybody that while theyre partying on December 31st 1999 at 11:59 PM...

Even though it really begins at 2001, people are much more excited about the big 3 zeros than they would be about 2001.

One question: Who is Zo�?

A character created by me. It did say that at the top of the fanfic, but nevermind..

I did actually know that the millennium is not this year,but if you'd read it properly you'd have noticed that I didn't say it was this year. So I'm now saying that fic took place next year, 2000, on New Year's Eve. Has that cleared evrything up? Take care, Geeno.

Robert Geen wrote in message news:842c44$2jo$[email]...

millenium

that

I didn't say that you, in particular, had made the mistake, it's just my sig. file 'cause I got so pissed of with all the people spouting 'Happy new millenium'. no offense, like, man.

(snip)

Pedantic, indeed. This is still a matter of opinion. Dennis the Short, the monk who did the calendar calculations for the Pope, was off by 3-4 years in fixing the year of Jesus' birth. So, if one wants to be thoroughly pedantic, the 3rd Millennium of the CE started a year or two ago. Given this inaccuracy, plus the fact that computers (programmers, anyway, which is what I am (the address of the first byte of memory is zero, not one)) number things 0-9 (base 10, of course), I'm happy to consider the 90's as 1990 thru 1999, not 1991 thru 2000 (respectively). Thus, this is the final week of the final year in the 2nd Millennium of the CE. The 3th begins next Saturday - not to worry, though, because this is all academic in the extreme. Haven't you heard that civilization is going to end & it's going to be TEOTWAWKI (the end of the world as we know it)? Anyone still alive 7 days hence will be dodging bands of armed mutants recently escaped from the cities and either foraging for food or protecting his cache from the hordes.

No matter, Merry Christmas to all in all time zones around the globe, regardless of which side of the international date line (or which Millennium of the CE) you find yourself.

Bill Lynch :-)