Here we go then, part 3 of erm at least 5!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
CARTMAN: Ay! Mister coach driver person! Are we nearly there yet?
MR GARRISON: Yeah! We ought to be there by now, look! It's going dark!
DRIVER: I think we must have taken the wrong road back in Indianapolis!
PIP: Excuse me but doesn't that sign say Houston?
MR GARRISON: HOUSTON? Who hired this useless driver?
[Driver whispers something to Mr Garrison]
Oh yes. It was me wasn't it.
DRIVER: May I suggest we find a motel and stop the night and try to get to Washington in the morning?
MR GARRISON: Sounds like the best thing to do. So where's the nearest motel then?
KYLE: Looks like there's one about 1/2 km down the road!
MR GARRISON: Ah yes. Gates Motel. We can stop here.
KYLE: Gates Motel?
[Kyle looks a bit queasy]
STAN: Yeah so? Are you alright dude?
[Kyle faints]
[Inside the reception of the motel]
[No sign of anyone so Mr Garrison rings the bell]
MR GARRISON: Oh come on you son of a bitch, just listen for the bell!
[Tall, lanky guy comes in]
MR GARRISON (sarcastic) :Oh thank the lord!
MR GATES: Yes sir, how may I help?
MR GARRISON: I'd like a room please.
MR GATES: A room?
MR GARRISON: No, a tin of picked strawberries, oh sweet Jesus, of course we want a room!
MR GATES: I would have thought you'd want more than one room for all of you?
MR GARRISON: Well of course we do, look, we'll take 10 rooms.
MR GATES: Okay, there are your keys, sorry about the wait, I was changing the bedding.
MR GARRISON: Okay children, let's get moving!
[The children walk out of the motel and on to the veranda. Kyle looks over his shoulder. There's a big house up on a hill and in one of the rooms he sees a silhouette of an old woman at the window]
KYLE: Aaaaahh!
[Kyle faints]
MR GARRISON: Kyle Broslofski, what is wrong with you today?
STAN: I think he's just feeling a little peaky.
MR GARRISON: Just get him out of the road Stanley.
[Pip walks over to Cartman]
PIP: Would you mind terribly if I shared a room with you Eric, it's just that all the other rooms are full and I have nowhere to sleep!
CARTMAN: Pip, if I was you, would you let me stay with you?
PIP: Oh yes, of course I would.
CARTMAN: No you wouldn't. Go sleep with someone else you stupid Frenchman!
PIP: Righty-ho!
[Room 1]
BEBE: I'm just going to take a shower okay Wendy?
WENDY: Sure, but make sure I get some hot water! Actually, I'm just going out, to see Stan.
BEBE: Okay, I'll see you later.
[Room 2]
STAN: I'll get it Kyle.
WENDY: Hi Stan.
STAN: Hi Wendy.
WENDY: Are you going to let me in or what?
STAN: Sure, come right in.
WENDY: Is Kyle alright after what happened earlier?
STAN: Yeah, I dunno what freaked him out though.
WENDY: Bebe's just having a shower so I thought I'd pop round and see how you were settling in.
KYLE: What! You're in Room 1 right?
WENDY: Yeah.
KYLE: Quick! We need to get her out of that shower at once!
STAN: Dude, what are you on?
KYLE: Shut up and move!
[Room 1]
WENDY: Ooops.
KYLE: Whaddya mean 'ooops'
WENDY: I left the key on my bedside table.
KYLE: You did what? Damn it. We're gonna have to break the door down. 1, 2, 3!
[Door caves in]
KYLE: Bebe!
BEBE: Who is it?
KYLE: It's Kyle.
BEBE: What are you doing in here?
KYLE: Shut up. I'll answer questions later. Just get out of the shower. Move!
[Bebe comes rushing out of the shower]
BEBE: What's going on?
STAN: Yeah, this is nuts Kyle - what's going on in that thick head of yours?
KYLE: This place is freaking me out - hang on, I've got to check something.
[Kyle walks across the room, away from the shower and takes a picture off the wall]
KYLE: Look!
STAN: What?
KYLE: Look!
[Kyle points to a tiny hole in the middle of the wall]
STAN: What is that?
KYLE: It's a spy hole. Like some people have on their doors so they can see who is knocking before they open it.
STAN: Then how did you know it was there?
KYLE: I had a gut feeling.
STAN: Pretty damn good one. And another thing, what's it doing behind a picture?
KYLE: I reckon it's time I started to explain this...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does it suck? Does it rock? Oh just tell me!