Margaret Thatcher syndrome part one (30)

Sep 20, 199910 posts by 2 postersalt.tv.southpark
10 posts

[Inside the mayor's office. The mayor is talking to the town treasurer.]

Mayor: What precisely do you think we should do? We have only two million dollars in the bank and unemployment is up to 70% of all employable people! What do we do?

Treasurer: I don't know. We need something that brings in a lot of money and creates hundreds of jobs. Maybe an industry that is complicated.

Mayor: Doesn't that need good education facilities?

Treasurer: Hell, no! Only to be safe.

Mayor: I just don't know. It's got to be localised.

Treasurer: Oh, yes, by the way, reports of brownouts are going up drastically and our coal power plant is going to fail in a year or two.

Mayor: Damn! What if we could fix all three at once? It'd have to be a power station.

[The two people stare blankly for a few minutes. Then, at the same time, they both go...]

Both: Hey!

Mayor: We could build a nuclear power plant!

Treasurer: It'll cost $2,000,000. But it's clean, safe and efficient. They're so complicated that it could create several thousand jobs.

Mayor: Good! I mean, look at Denver! They were stuck like this and they did it. It brings in new industry and big tax dollars!

Treasurer: Precisely! It'll liven up our fair city!

Mayor: Good! I'll get a good construction team in and call up the Nuclear Safety people.

Treasurer: What about the new hospital we need?

Mayor: What about it? Just go!

Treasurer: OK. <leaves>

[Scene cut to bus stop pose and the bus pulls up.]

Mrs Crabtree: Get on! We're running late!

Stan: Aw, we're always running late you dirty slag!

Mrs Crabtree: What did you say?

Stan: I said, my dog's tail has lost it's lively wag.

Mrs Crabtree: Really? My dog's got rabies.

Kyle: Yeah and it probably bit you!

Mrs Crabtree: What did you say?

Kyle: I said, I think I'm a member of The Who?

Mrs Crabtree: And my brother was one of the Beatles. Which was he...?

[The boys board the bus and are driven to school. Scene to typical blackboard pose with Mr. Garrison. The title 'Nuclear Power Plants' is on the board.]

Mr Garrison: Now Mr Hat is going to tell us all about the wonders of nuclear power plants.

Kenny: {Oh, my dad never got that job.}

Kyle: Oh.

Mr Hat: ...these monstrous wonders produce thousands of jobs, perfect for people like alcoholic boozers that drink day and night, and...yes, Kenny what is it?

Kenny: {Like my dad?}

Mr Hat: Yes, like your dad. These buildings contain several safety mechanisms and contain tonnes of highly dangerous radioactive material that causes cancer...

Stan: My dad already works at the seismology station.

Kyle: My dad's a lawyer.

Cartman: My mum's just a housewife and she gets cheques in the post every month.

Mr Hat: Unfortunately, several nuclear accidents have occurred, causing increased flying radioactive sheep incidents....

[Scene cut to mayor at a building site. She is standing next to a builder. Both wear hard hats.]

Mayor: So, how much is it?

Builder: $2,100,000.

Mayor: Really? What if you cut corners?

Builder: Too dangerous. Radiation may leak out and kill everybody around.

Mayor: How much?

Builder: Well...$1,200,000 if we cut corners.

Mayor: Cut corners.

Builder: But...

Mayor: Cut THE corners!! I'm fed up of our town being called Margaret Thatcher syndrome town! <walks off>

Builder: <sigh>

[Life continues in South Park for three weeks. The power plant is nearly finished, but the cooling towers still need to be built. Bus stop pose.]

Kenny: {Hey you guys, my dad got a job at the power plant! He works in containment! He helps to watch over a certain part of the core to stop us from getting blown up!}

Kyle: Cool! But I heard the boss is totally nice, except one thing...he'll do anything to save a few cents. Cut wages, lower maintenance, dump waste. That's bad, man.

Stan: I think the plant is getting a big money donation.

Cartman: I hope our Cheesy Poofs don't get contaminated!

Drew Thomas "...if you have no friends, then you have nothing. So friends are to be treasured." Larry the prehistoric iceman.

In article , Drew Thomas writes with this very pen that he holds in his hands...

[Group laughs.]

Kyle: If they did, you'd glow green!

Stan: Yeah, and we'd know that we need to leave town!

Cartman: AI! Hey, we've got to be at school by nine. It's 8:58 and the bus still hasn't shown up!

Stan: Hmmm, yeah! What's keeping that ugly bitch?

Kyle: Don't know.

Cartman: 8:59.

Kenny: {We're gonna be late!}

Cartman: We can't walk there, it'd be quarter past and lessons will have started.

Kyle: Don't worry, we can fake notes! Kenny brought in a note for explosive diahorrea and he didn't get any heat, even though it wasn't signed!

Cartman: Yeah! Oh no, it's nine o' clock!

Stan: I know! Let's look at where they're building the power plant! We can bring in notes tomorrow.

Kyle: OK.

Cartman: OK.

Kenny: {Sure, I'd like to.}

Stan: It's not far, and you can take a shortcut through here, follow me!

Kyle: Where?

Stan: You know when we went hunting? And we dug the trench? They built it where the canyon meets the trench. Both of them are lakes and rivers and waterfalls now.

Cartman: Ah'd sure like to have a dip in there!

Stan: No, fatass! You're so stupid! The currents would sweep you over the waterfall into Denver!

Kyle: Are we nearly there yet?

Stan: Look up! Can you see the beginning of the cooling towers! We're only about fifty paces away! But they put an electric fence in there.

Kyle: We are at the electric fence!

Cartman: Oh, yeah. Hey, look, I see the bus stop.

Stan: Look, the bus is there!

Mrs Crabtree: Where are the little bastards? BAAAAH! <drives off>

Stan: C'mon, I got a sheet of notepad paper in my pocket. I'll write that we've been sleeping over and the alarm clock didn't go off.

Kyle: Sounds good to me, come on, let's walk. At least it's Friday, so Mr Garrison will be in a better mood.

Stan: Note's ready. Let's go. This nuclear power plant is cool. It's gonna solve all our problems.

Cartman: Yup.

Kenny: {And my dad's got a job there! He gets $12,000 a year. And he's started all ready. That's $32 a day!}

Kyle: Cool! My dad only gets about $40 a day!

Stan: My dad is just paid $20 a day. But all he does is watch a needle go back and forth.

Kyle: Yeah.

Stan: Just another ten minutes, then we're there.

Cartman: It's 9:08.

Kyle: Whoa! Mr Garrison must be talking about the nuclear power plant again!

Stan: I read up about it at home. I'm gonna get all aces!

Kyle: A+! You only ever get As!

Stan: Yup!

Cartman: So! I once got a D+!

Kenny: {I'm better than you, I once got a B average!}

Stan: Whoa!

Cartman: Ai!

[While the scamps are at school, Kenny's father gets the job at the nuclear power plant. He sits in a room filled with controls, dials, guides and switches.]

Mr. McKormick (going along in a swivel chair, checking the dials): Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. No leaks. Normal. Normal. Oooh, a bit above. It's going up. <slides to a telephone and pushes two buttons> Yeah, hello? I need the supervisor. <holds> Yep, yep, one of the dials is straining into the orange area. Which one? The one with 'Coolant Temperature A' above it. Uh huh. Right. Oh my god! Put on the emergency switch? OK. <hangs up and turns on emergency coolant> That's better. In the meantime, I'd better get maintenance boys onto it. Could be a leak in the cooling water.

[Scene cut to classroom.]

Mr Garrison: Oh yes, before the bell goes, I'll just say you won't see me again.

[Class gasp.]

Mr Garrison: I'm working at the nuclear power plant.

Wendy (under breath): Not again! (see Tom's Rhinoplasty)

Mr Garrison: So I'll be here the rest of today, the rest of tomorrow, then I'll be working in containment with Kenny's father. The power plant will have it's official opening in two days. That's when I'll go in and start work. Your permanent substitute will be a strict teacher called Miss Chokechain.

Stan: Dude! We had her in first grade! She's a total bitch!

Mr Garrison: What was that, Stan?

Stan: What was what? Cartman must have said it.

Mr Garrison: Really? Cartman go to the principal!

Cartman (leaves): Damnit!

[In the principal's office.]

P.V.: You've got to learn to respect your new teacher! Mr Garrison's getting a job and it's not my fault. Don't do it again, or else! Now go!

Cartman (outside): All I have to do is stop the plant opening officially! Hmmmm....

Drew Thomas "...if you have no friends, then you have nothing. So friends are to be treasured." Larry the prehistoric iceman.

Wow... Cool!

SaraJ I don't suffer from insanity.I like every minute of it. SNAFU=Situation Normal:All Fucked Up

"Umm-is that a God dam? "-Beavis, "Beavis&Butt-Head Do America"

"We'll live like kings! Damn hell ass kings!" -Bart Simpson -----END SIG-----

In article , Drew Thomas writes with this very pen that he holds in his hands...

[Cartman returns to the classroom and instead of doing his work, schemes on how to not open the nuclear power plant. At the end of the last lesson at the end of the day...]

Mr Garrison (standing over Cartman): You call this an essay on the pros and cons of nuclear power? Five words?

Cartman (snapping out of his trance and looking up): Huh?

Mr Garrison: You have got twenty minutes of detention, mister! Everybody but Cartman can leave, Stan I'll let you get an A+ for once.

Stan: Thanks!

Mr Garrison: No, seriously, it was a truly excellent paper. <everyone leaves>

[Mr Garrison sits at his desk and Cartman sits at his desk. The pair try and stare each other out, but after a short while, Mr Garrison goes up to get some coffee and leaves the room.]

Cartman: Hmmmmm. I know! Hey, wait, the windows are locked. I'll just jump out. It's only the ground floor.

[Cartman jumps through the window. The alarm goes off and Cartman runs like the dickens to the library. Scene cut to Stan's house.]

Sharon: I don't like this nuclear power plant. What if it melts down? Radiation flies everywhere and there's fires and our water supply gets contaminated for years!

Randy: Don't get worked up, there's highly skilled people working there.

Stan: No they're not?

[Both parents turn and look at Stan.]

Both (glaring): Who asked you?

[Shelley sits down next to Stan and eyes him.]

Stan: Yeah, but Mr Garrison and Kenny's dad are working there!

Both: What?

Stan: And now we're gonna have bitch for a teacher!

Sharon: Figuratively or literally?

Stan: Literally. No, wait, figuratively.

Randy: What about that adverbs homework you have to do?

Stan: No, I finished it. <grins> Unlike Shelley, who still has piles of it.

[Shelley turns round and punches Stan in the face. She then glances at him repeatedly. Scene cut to library and Cartman enters.]

Cartman: Hello?

Librarian: Hello, young boy, you seem familiar. What's your name?

Cartman: Cartman.

Librarian: Eric Cartman?

Cartman: Yes, ma'am.

[The librarian looks at a poster that says: ERIC CARTMAN IS BANNED FROM THIS LIBRARY!]

Librarian: Sorry, but we can't let you in.

Cartman: What? What about my library card? I paid $5!

Librarian: <sigh> In you go, but remember, don't muck the books up and the library closes at six in winter. That gives you two hours.

[Cartman rushes to the card catalogue. He searches through the Ns for...]

Cartman: Nuclear Power. Right. I want the kind in those thick, chunky science books that are thirty years old. Let's see... <searches on top of the shelves> Here we are! Right, let's get stuck in.

[Cartman goes into a very quiet room with only two or three other people in it and settles down into a cosy bean bag. The clock above him on the wall starts to come out, but it keeps ticking on... through four o' clock, then five o' clock. Cartman memorises most of the bits in the book and decides to have a quick nap.]

Cartman: <yawn> Zzzzzzz....

[Stan walks in and looks about for a book on nuclear power to do some revision. He can't find the right book and sees Cartman with it. No one else is in the room, so Stan wakes him up and the two revise together. The clock reaches half past five, then quarter to six. The pair are so busy revising, they don't even notice when the clock ticks to five to seven. Stan goes off to find another book. At Kyle's house...]

Kyle: I think Mrs Chokechain isn't very nice. I had her for kindergarten, but the only thing I remember is when I was fighting with someone in the kindergarten over the tricycle. She came over and slapped us both in the face!

Sheila: Really? I'll have to go up to the school!

Kyle: Don't bother. It won't work. It never works.

Sheila: Well, OK...

Kyle: She never leaves. Even Victoria's afraid of her.

Drew Thomas "...if you have no friends, then you have nothing. So friends are to be treasured." Larry the prehistoric iceman.

Nice.

SaraJ I don't suffer from insanity.I like every minute of it. SNAFU=Situation Normal:All Fucked Up

"Umm-is that a God dam? "-Beavis, "Beavis&Butt-Head Do America"

"We'll live like kings! Damn hell ass kings!" -Bart Simpson -----END SIG-----

In article , Drew Thomas writes with this very pen that he holds in his hands...

Sheila: Oh, dear. Hmmm. Where's your friend Stan who you were going to go to the movies with?

Kyle: He's at the library. It shuts in <looks at watch> four minutes. I'll cycle there as fast as I can, I might get them in time. His mum said Cartman might be there as well.

Sheila: OK. But be back by half past.

Kyle <goes out of the door>: OK. <slam>

[In the library, Stan and Cartman sneak around as the library empties. They go into a closet. The door creaks shut and the latch on the other side falls down, locking the pair in. Stan barges at the door.]

Stan (hitting the door): Ow! It's no use! The latch won't budge.

Cartman (shivering): Need Cheesy Poofs. They need to find us quick, or we're stuck until Saturday, because today's Thursday.

Stan: No, they cut down on public funding, so this is shut from seven tonight to... <gulp> ... seven o' clock on Monday!

Cartman: Oh, no!

Electronic voice from outside: The - lib - rar - y - is - now - clo - sing.

Cartman: Oh uh. <whacks the door>

[A small crack appears in the middle of the door.]

Stan: The wood looks a bit rotten. <whacks the door>

[Everybody leaves and the staff lock up. Lights go out.]

Cartman: They've all gone! I'll keep bashing it.

[Kyle cycles up to the doors and finds that he is too late.]

Kyle: Damn! I can't see them here, so they must be safe at home. Oh, well, <cycles off>

Cartman (in closet): That was Kyle! But he's gone now! <barges door>

[Some of the wood crumbles away and turns to dust. A round hole as large as Cartman's fist appears. Stan looks out.]

Stan: No one here. You're right.

Cartman: Keep going. The metal shutters are down, so even if we get out of this closet, we can't escape. <bashes into door>

[A crack runs from top to bottom of the door. The door creaks and crumbles. A pile of dust is at the boys feet.]

Stan: Oh, boy.

Cartman: Help, need Cheesy Poofs. Stan, they don't have a restaurant here, do they?

Stan: Damnit, fat boy it's a library! Honestly! Here, help me pull up that bit of carpet, I see something under there.

[Cartman and Stan rip up some carpet and underneath is an air vent. It is a bit stiff but the boys pull it off. The vent goes straight down for fifty feet, but the boys don't realise.]

Cartman: I'll drop one of these stones down. <takes stone out of pocket> Here we go...<drops stone......>

Stan: I can't here it.

Cartman: Sssh!

[The stone drops right the way down and all the boys here is a small chink noise.]

Cartman: Whoa, must be several metres big!

Stan: I know! Look, there's a huge window there! We can make a tower of books!

Cartman: Hooray! <slips back> Whoa!

[Cartman falls head first into the vent and travels halfway down, before the vent narrows and he becomes stuck.]

Cartman: AAAH! It's not nice, down he-yah! I can't see a thing!

Stan <looking out of window> S***, it's like a bad snowstorm! Ever since the great storm of '98, the storms have happened like once a fortnight! I'll turn the light on, it's getting dark. <flips light on>

[A bright light illuminates the library. Stan looks down, but he just can't see Cartman.]

Stan: Damnit! I know, I'll call out, but the telegraph poles are rocking, so I'd best be quick.

Cartman: HEEEELLLP! <wiggles and slides down a tiny bit further> NOOOO!

[Stan rushes to the phone and dials 911.]

Phone: Welcome to the South Park 911 Automation System. I'm afraid we can't come to the phone at present...

[Scene cut to an empty police station with the answering phone on.]

Phone: ...for very good reasons.

[Scene cut to outside the front doors of the police station. Officer Barbrady is locked out in the blizzard.]

Phone: If you are being murdered, press one. If you are being sexually abused, press two. If the felony does not involve you, press three.

Stan: Come on, come on.

Phone: If the crime is not one listed above, please press four and choose from the lists.

[Stan pushes '4'.]

Phone: Push '1' for murder. Push '2' for burglary. Push '3' for smash 'n' grab. Push '4' for um...uh...what's it called...having sex with an animal. Push '5' for...

Stan: <drowns out phone> Damnit! When's it got 'rescue'?

Phone: ...push '8' to be rescued. <Stan pushes eight> Push '1' if you are stuck on the coast and the tide comes in. '2' if you are trapped under a car. '3' if...

Stan: Oh, god!

Cartman: Heelp! <slides down another four centimetres>

Phone: You have used your allotted two minutes. Returning to main menu. '1' for murder. If you know the name of the person being murdered.

Stan: Hmmm. <dials 912>

Phone: You have reached regicide. '1' for death. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press ....<Stan dials 911>

Phone: You have used your allotted two minutes. Please hang up. Please hang up. Please hang up. Please hang up. Please hang up. Please hang up. Please hang up. Please.

Stan: <slams phone down> Oh, man!

Cartman: Stan, get the fire brigade!

Stan (breathing deeply): Calm down. Dial again.

[Stan picks up the phone and Officer Barbrady forces the door open and leaps on the phone, as Stan gets through.]

Officer Barbrady: How can I help you?

Stan: We're stuck in the library.

Officer Barbrady: Speak up, snow's blowing in here really loud and I can't shut the door.

Stan: I said, WE'RE STUCK IN...

[At the other end...]

Phone: I said, WE'RE STUCK IN THE...brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Officer Barbrady: Hello? Hello. Damnit, the phones are cut.

Stan: S***! I'll try the doors.

[Stan rushes to the double doors and heaves them open. A huge wall of snow blows in.]

Stan: We won't be getting out in a hurry. I need to rescue Cartman. Cartman, I'll try to rescue you. Something like a strong string......I know! The fire hose!

[Over the next twenty minutes, Stan unravels the hose, ties it round himself and abseils down until he hits something.

Cartman: Ai!

Stan: Cartman, grab me!

Cartman: Uh, OK. <holds Stan>

[Stan slowly tugs both of them up the rope and out.]

Cartman: Come on, Stan, don't be scared. We need to push through the snow. We can do, it but it seems several feet thick.

Stan: I know. Only Shelley knows I'm out. The time is...<looks at clock> whoa! Half past nine!

[At Stan's house...]

Shelley: Hmmm. Stan went out today rather than yesterday 'cos Mom's out at a celebration party for the power plant. I'll see if Stan's OK, even if he is my pissy little brother.

[Shelley has to run to the library and she almost misses it, because it is totally covered in snow, except the sign, but Shelley has brought a blow torch. She turns it on and starts torching the snow, but the flame is weak.]

Shelley: It's going, but it's too slow. I'll have to dig.

[Shelley drops the burning blowtorch and tunnels into the snow. She finds the doors open and finds herself bursting in.]

Stan: Shelley!

Cartman: Hi, friend!

Shelley: Come on, let's go. The storm's still going and the radio says it'll get worse and there could be floods.

Stan: C'mon, Cartman. Let's go, with a library book. We need to revise.

Cartman (staggering under the weight of a huge book): OK.

[Fairly soon, the kids are back at their own homes. A plane flies overhead loaded with salt solution. It drops it throughout the town and accidentally sprinkles some into the unused power plant cooling towers.]

Pilot: Oops! When the mayor turns on the main reactors, tomorrow, something could happen........I mustn't say a word or they'll get so mad at me...

Drew Thomas "...if you have no friends, then you have nothing. So friends are to be treasured." Larry the prehistoric iceman.

<snip>

Great chapter!

SaraJ I don't suffer from insanity.I like every minute of it. SNAFU=Situation Normal:All Fucked Up

"Umm-is that a God dam? "-Beavis, "Beavis&Butt-Head Do America"

"We'll live like kings! Damn hell ass kings!" -Bart Simpson -----END SIG-----

In article , SaraJ writes with this very pen that he holds in his hands...

End of part four: Shelley: Come on, let's go. The storm's still going and the radio says it'll get worse and there could be floods.

Stan: C'mon, Cartman. Let's go, with a library book. We need to revise.

Cartman (staggering under the weight of a huge book): OK.

[Fairly soon, the kids are back at their own homes. A plane flies overhead loaded with salt solution. It drops it throughout the town and accidentally sprinkles some into the unused power plant cooling towers.]

Pilot: Oops! When the mayor turns on the main reactors, tomorrow, something could happen........I mustn't say a word or they'll get so mad at me...

[Next morning, in Mr Garrison's class.]

Mr. Garrison: Right. I'd just like to say that this is my last day here and that ten minutes after school finishes, I'll be gone from here forever. Let's get on with lessons. <Kyle puts hand up> Yes, Kyle, what is it?

Kyle: It's rained like hell for the last thirteen hours and the water level's going up. Shouldn't we leave now?

Mr Garrison: No, it won't last another hour. It may be chucking it down, but anyway, Cartman could you get the music equipment?

Cartman: OK.

Mr Garrison: Right, take out the music books.

[At the nuclear power plant, the mayor and two other people are talking.]

Mayor: When's the celebration start?

Person #1: Four o' clock precisely.

Person #2: You shouldn't start the main reactor up at four. The engineers won't be finished until at least seven.

Mayor: Listen, buddy! I can't cancel this for three hours. It's not good for PR!!

Person #2: But...

Mayor: Listen, wait until the celebrations have finished, then start moaning. Can't you fix it afterwards? Get those engineers out of those towers! And waterproof the doors! There could be a flood!

Person #2 <leaves>: Very well.

[At four o' clock, the ceremony begins and the mayor pushes the big red button to activate the reactor, under a solid tent as the water level rises excessively to waist height.]

Mayor: 3...2...1...Go! <pushes button>

Person #2: Oh, no. The towers can't cope with salt solution in the emergency circuits.

[The boys are inside the tent as well.]

Stan: Hey, where's Kenny?

Kyle: I don't know. He was outside.

[Kenny is swept into the reception area of the power plant by the flood. He is OK, but very wet and dirty.]

Kenny: {Phew! That's good!}

[The cooling towers start to fill with salt crystals and block the emergency cooling system. The mayor watches in horror as salt spills from the cooling towers.]

Mayor: Oh, my god! The river's going to burst it's banks!

[Inside the containment area, 6B...]

Kenny's dad: Oh my goodness! The core's overheating! Better switch on the emergency cooling system. <flips switch>

[The emergency cooling system overflows and Kenny is blasted out of the cooling towers with the uncontaminated salt as the river bursts its banks and knocks ground away from under the plant. Soon, the building empties everybody and Kenny lands on the top of a pile of salt in the middle of the rushing river.]

Stan and Kyle: Kenny!

Stan: The river's rushing past the pile of salt he is on and the water is getting faster! <points to the power plant> Look!

[Everybody turns and looks. The plant twists and turns and shakes and finally lurches into the water and is carried away.]

Mayor: What about the river? It's warming up, but it's gushing excessively!

Kenny: {Hey, I'm OK!}

[The salt slowly dissolves into the river, and turns it into a gooey paste of water, salt and a bit of sugar. Kenny heaves himself out, sticky, moist, and warm.]

Kenny: {Look, guys, I'm alright!} <dances a jig>

Mayor: Where's the plant going?

Person #2: It's taken an alternative route that leads somewhere else.

Mayor: Like the lava when the volcano erupted?

Person #3: Yeah, but that heads for...

[The plant crashes over a waterfall, flies miles into the air and crashes onto Canada. BAMM! Meltdown.]

Mr Garrison: Hooray, South Park is saved!

Mayor: Let's dance!

[Everybody boogies and eventually Mr Garrison walks to the door.]

Mr Garrison: Guess I'll have to take back my teaching job.

Stan and Kyle: Hooray!

Mayor: Don't open the door!

Mr Garrison (opens the door): Huh?

[Water gushes in and everyone floats out of the building.]

Mayor: This must have got as deep as a house when we were in there!

Kenny (from a mountain): {Hey guys, what's up?}

[A landslide starts and Kenny runs away, narrowly escaping.]

Kenny: {Nah-uh, I'm OK!}

[An eagle flies off with Kenny.]

Kenny: {Help! Aaagh!}

[The eagle drops Kenny into the Pitiless Pup Attack Centre. The dogs eagerly rush at Kenny and tear him to pieces as pieces of his coat fly into the air. One piece lands at Stan and Kyle's feet.]

Stan (gasps): Oh my god, they killed Kelly!

Kyle: You mean Kenny.

Stan: No, I mean Kelly, his twin sister.

Kyle (looking): Huh?

[Kenny walks up next to them.]

Kenny: {Where's my sister?}

Kyle: Over there <points>

Kenny: {Oh no! Well, life goes on.}

Stan: Yeah.

[Twenty minutes later, the four are walking along in water up to their knees.]

Cartman: I think ah need some Cheesy Poofs.

Kyle: Uh-huh.

Kenny: {Fat ass.}

Cartman: Hey!

Kyle: Look, we're by a building site.

Cartman: Ah, yeah.

[A wrecking ball smashes through the fence and knocks Kenny into the road.]

Kyle (gasping): Oh my god, they killed...

Kenny: {I'm OK!}

[A bus drives over Kenny and knocks his head off.

Stan: What the!

[Rats come along and nibble at Kenny's head which is nibbled away except for the skull.]

Stan: Oh my god, Kenny died a gory death!

Kyle: You bastards!

Cartman (walking along with the others): Anyway, I think I need Cheesy Poofs and I've got another $25. I can go to the store and buy a super three kilo pack of them. It keeps me going for at least eight minutes.

Kyle: You're a big fat, tubby eating machine!

Cartman: Ai! Leave me alone! I only weigh ninety two pounds!

Stan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember when you went on a diet and lost half a pound!?

[Stan and Kyle laugh!]

Cartman: No! I will kick you squar in the nards!

Drew Thomas "...if you have no friends, then you have nothing. So friends are to be treasured." Larry the prehistoric iceman.

LOL! I never expected that! Good job with that conclusion, man!

SaraJ I don't suffer from insanity.I like every minute of it. SNAFU=Situation Normal:All Fucked Up

"Umm-is that a God dam? "-Beavis, "Beavis&Butt-Head Do America"

"We'll live like kings! Damn hell ass kings!" -Bart Simpson -----END SIG-----

Not bad...

SaraJ I don't suffer from insanity.I like every minute of it. SNAFU=Situation Normal:All Fucked Up

"Umm-is that a God dam? "-Beavis, "Beavis&Butt-Head Do America"

"We'll live like kings! Damn hell ass kings!" -Bart Simpson -----END SIG-----