CHILLING South Park/Web TV/ST: Voyager Parallels REVEALED!!

Dec 6, 1997, 3:42 AM ET9 posts by 5 postersalt.tv.southpark
9 posts

sn't it just so scary how similar the characters on South Park and WebTv users are?

Let's look at these hastily made up facts:

In South Park there is a little fat kid named Cartman who is not only belligerent, racist, sexist and ignorant but completely convinced he knows everything WebTVers had fat wallets which they lightened by buying WebTVers so they could prove to the world that they are indeed belligerent, sexist, racist and totally convinced that computers suck cause they don't know how to work one

In South Park there is a kid named Kenny who serves no purpose other than to die in every episode WebTVers serve no purpose other than to take up valuable bandwidth and give me a reason to rant about the inequities of evil men

The mayor of South Park wants to achieve high political office WebTVers want to post without being laughed at by sub humans AOLers.

South Park is populated by characters who talk to hand puppets WebTv is full of the people who considered AOL too difficult to figure out

South Park pulls no punches Most WebTVers were beaten in the head as children

Jesus opened up a can of whoop ass on Santa Claus in South Park Santa Claus is bringing lotsa of WebTvs to Middle America this holiday season

I know what your saying: didn't you just draw a parallel between WebTVers and South Park? The answer is yes but you must remember that happend almost a whole paragraph ago. South Park, being the sum total of human civilization thus far, can be drawn parallel to anything with little heavy lifting. Let's look at some more hastily made up facts.

The Chef is always telling people to make sweet love while moaning and groaning until 3:00am 7 of 9 is was designed for fanboys to fantasize about while moaning and groaning in the bathroom at 3:00am

Kenny is eaten by rats after dies in every episode Neelix looks like something that was eaten by a rat and kills every scene he is in

Stan wants to be a dirty little bastard Harry Kim is a Dirty Little Bastard

South Park insults everyone, pulling no punches Voyager insults everyone, forcing convulsions

South Park has a gay animal sanctuary where they can live out their days in peace and love UPN is running a bad writers sanctuary

Mr. Harrson talks like a homosexual to get chicks Paris is a homosexual and gets chicks

And the most telling of them all:

Cartman is a clueless, mysogynistic pigfucker who has problems with mommy Janeway is a clueless mysogynistic Chakotayfucker who has problems with daddy

I don't understand your anger at WebTV users??

"We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated." (��) ? �Bill Bell

Let me explain:

Cronan is native to the alt.tv.startrek groups. These groups are populated also by some extraordinarily stupid WebTV users. He's generalizing about all WebTV users based on them.

Also, you're not making any sense. Actually, you are-- but I had to say that to prove a point.

--Baby Morris

[email] wrote:

Gee... yah think? I was kinda worried that it wouldn't come off well. I got some really surprising e-mail from WebTver and Voyager fans... Well the content was pretty uninteresting but the surprise was that they could write!

Kick ass. You should forward them my page too! http://gpgod.home.mindspring.com/ravings/index.htm

This page has the South Park thing and a lot of other cool stuff that was written by ME!!!

P&SC

Isn't it amazing how similar that post was to Terrence and Phillip? It was funny the first few seconds but then became repetitive, predictable and boring. Though I suppose it might have been funny toward the end--but then again, who bothered to read on that far?

TAO

Eternal damnation and boiling pits of human excrement. Now online!! http://members.tripod.com/~YellowDischarge

By the way Cronan, I just read some of your web page. Goddamnit, if you're gonna waste our time not being funny, at least learn to fucking spell. Christ. High schoolers today. . .

TAO

Eternal damnation and boiling pits of human excrement. Now online!! http://members.tripod.com/~YellowDischarge

By the way Tyrone, I just read your post. Goddamnit, if your going to waste my time at least buy a real computer okay? Christ. WebTvers today. Buy one hot gimmick from an infomercial and they think that entitles them to respect above and beyond single celled organisms.

P&SC Spelling is as important to humour as brains are to WebTV...