As an American citizen, it is my most heart felt apology to her Majesty's Canadian subjects regarding the 1 April 1998 episode of the American television show "South Park", with it's portrayal of Canadians as being racist, flatulent, ugly, adulterous, ignorant, arrogant, insulting, and fascistic - all of which Canadians are not.
Also, I wish to apologise to Celine Dion for the implication that she is cheating on her husband, and to Quebec, Ontario, the Prairies, and BC for the use of Maritime accents for your characters.
I'm not sure about SM in Canada (my little sister used to like that show but I thought it sucked) and EFC, but I remember Due South was this show about a Mountie teaming up with this cop from Chicago. Never caught on much in America, but I kinda liked it.
I don't think Canadians should be afriad that they are portrayed the way they were in T+P. if you want to see some funny Canadian stereotypes, rent "Strange Brew". It was based on the "Great White North" skits on SCTV, and was always one of my favorite movies.
Maximoff (Jaques Rougeau and Carl Oulette kick ass!)
ALRIGHT? WHO SAID THAT? *Growls* You realize that this message has been crossposted to Due South, Alt.Religion.Kibology (what exactly does this post have to do with alt.religion.kibology, anyway?), Earth: Final Conflict, South Park and goodness knows what else? It *is* of topic, and they have all the right to talk about Due South. Hell, it *is* thier newsgroup this is getting posted to, ya know. Who started all this Canada bashing to begin with? *Ticked*. To all who this is being cross posted to, I apologize for all this. If only we could get this post pinned down in one newsgroup, then we wouldn't have this problem. *_* Suggestions?
What happened is than when south Park had it's now infamous April Fools' Day episode ("Not Without My Anus", with Terrence and Philip using flatulence to destroy Saddam Hussein), I felt that it was my obligation as an American citizen to apologise to the Canadian people. So, I cross posted to those groups with shows popular amongst Canadians: Due South, Earth: Final Conflict, and Sailor Moon.
Also, I have brow beaten Canadians for their aversion to republicanism and for their weak currency and weaker unions making Toronto and Vancouver more desireable that New York for some filming.
OTHER REASONS TO LIKE THE UNITED STATES: 1. The Indigo Girls 2. Connie Dover 3. Simon and Garfunkle
OTHER REASONS TO LIKE CANADA: 1. Sarah McLachlan 2. Loreena McKennitt 3. Natalie McMaster
OTHER REASONS TO LIKE THE UNITED KINGDOM 1. Kate Bush 2. Procol Harum 3. The Full Monty (which should have won the Oscar for Best Picture, but I digress...)
What is up with this new crop of cheerful, well adjusted USENET users who go out of their way to avoid meaningless disagreements? Don't they have any sense of HISTORY?
Cry havok, I say! Damn the torpoedoes, full speed ahead!
REASONS TO HATE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: 1. Hiroshima 2. Forced relocation of Japanese-American citizens during WWII 3. Barney
REASONS TO HATE CANADA: 1. Quebec 2. Smug, self-righteousness 3. William Shatner
REASONS TO HATE THE UNITED KINGDOM: 1. Unreasonable tea taxes in Boston 2. Incomprehensible accents 3. Generations of imperialism and destroyed cultures
REASONS TO HATE ALEX SUTER: 1. Smug, self-righteousness 2. Horrible Fonzi impersonation used quite frequently 3. Once made "ethnic clensing" joke in mixed company
1. We are the "bullies" of the world. 2. We have a homeless problem and do little to solve it. 3. I hate to say this, but the majority of Americans probably couldn't find France on a map. It's sad.
Superiority complex
Canadian football.
taxes. (they go up a lot more quickly than american taxes do.)
Spice Girls
The Beatles
Tea. It's not bad... but it isn't the best thing ever invented either.
Hmm, forgot about kids in the hall. By far the funniest comedy group ever made. Monty Python is a distant 2nd. Original SNL cast a very distant 3rd.
I didn't realize that Canadians were all into the tea scene also. Figures.
Seattle is a very overrated city. Shrug.
Hmm, I see US hockey teams beating Canadian teams all the time in the NHL. shrug.
I'll agree with that one.
Woo woo, we agree on something. Mad TV did a great skit a month or three back about a bunch of redneck hunters going after the spice girls. It was funny as hell.
Another good comment. I agree.
Hmm, and you like Seattle? Seattle gets a rain storm every 5 minutes.
Nice city, and beautiful province. Course I like upstate NY more. Someonw remind me why I moved to NC.... heh.
Don't forget the SCTV cast (with John Candy, Martin Short, Dave Thomas, Andrea Martin, Rick Moranis, and others; home of the MacKenzie Brothers, Ed Grimley, et al).
I'm talking international, after all, over 60 percent of NHl players are Canadian. That would be like saying Canada beats the US when the Blue Jays won the world series. They were all Puerto Ricans and Americans. And if you bring up the World Cup, I'll have to give you
Whoa, easy man, this flame war's cooling off! Perestroika anyone?
laugh. Just because I agree with you about a few things doesn't mean I don't think you're a stinking torrie. Heh. Seriously, I'm not gonna disagree with anyone who makes a valid point. I like to think that I've matured somewhat in my life. Of course, if I think your point is wrong, that's another story...
Let us consider for a minute. To which nationality do the majority of the PLAYERS in the NHL belong? The answer is Canadian. Over two-thirds of the players, which ARE the NHL, are Canadians. I'll agree that the US and the Europian countries have many good, if not excellent, hockey players, but the majority still remains Canadian. A major reason US hockey teams are beating our good ole Canadian teams are because American industry, ie FOX, has come in and gutted a lot of what the sport was about. Take for example, the Foxtrack puck and the games on FOX. Luckily the foxtrack is pretty much dead. Personally I can't stand that puck or the way FOX shows games. The camera views are mostly truly annoying, while those animations are really bad.
Hmm, aren't you forgetting the american, male counterparts to them? The Backstreet Boys? Or their (nearly identical sounding) copycats, N-sync, or whatever they're called?
a) aged 10-20 b) don't have a rewind button on your vcr, so there's no POSSIBLE way you can comprehend the humor of the Pythons c) are related to one of 'em. d) from Canada, and still don't think we Americans could make you the 51st state in a fortnight. e) all of the above.
tsk tsk
"Stomping on your granny, 'til she's good and dead, Then I take her diaper, and wear it on my head"- anonymous
Let's see how correct you are in your assumptions...
Actually, I'm 22.
I have all 4 of the movies on tape, as well as roughly 20 of the tv eps. I think "Holy Grail" is one of the 5 best movies in history. IMO, Kids in the Hall are more consistant overall, and Brain candy was hilarious. My favorite Kids skit is the "sausage" one. An instant classic. I also taped the recent HBO Python reunion. So you're wrong again...
I wish I were. Strike 3.
I was born and raised in NY. I have been to just about every state in the continental US, and have visited Canada on numerous occasions. Hmm, my grandfather was Canadian, so I'll give you about a 5% correctness rating. As for the USA taking over Canda... the war would last about 3 days. Maybe less. Canada, while having a well trained military, just doesn't have anything near as powerful as the USA. Of course, if you counted the entire British Commonwealth, that would be another story. I think the USA would still win, but it would be a long, bloody conflict; almost another world war.
REASONS TO LIKE CANADA: 1. who cares 2. Invented the snowmobile, paint roller and trivial pursuit. 3. Supplies most of North America's Comedians. 4. sarah mclachlan 5. netwerk records 6. x files 7.cerebus
REASONS TO LIKE THE U.K. 1. Created Canada. 2. Home of those entertaining Royal Scandals. 3. Big Tea Drinkers. 4. radiohead 5. the cure 6. niel gaiman 7. mr bean 8. fish and chips 9. david bowie
REASONS TO LIKE THE U.S. 1-3 who cares 4. sonic youth 5. manhattan 6. appalachian trail 7. the clintons( for humor not governing) 8. independent film channel 9. tori amos 10. william hooker 11. pbs
Guns and Violence.
Two party governance sucks.
They don't like Terrence and Phillip very much.
hanson
the clintons
kkk
1. Canadians fart too much. 2. Too much snow. 3. Perpetual Constitutional Crises. 4 celine dion 5. wannabe indie bands 6. hockey
Spice Girls.
It's on the wrong side of the Atlantic.
It's a rock in the middle of the ocean with too much rain.
I KNEW it. You were also the 4th gunman in the JFK murder, weren't you? Admit it! And MLK Jr, too! Cmon, I bet OJ's looking for you right now, since you're the "REAL" killer of Nicole and Ron. Fess up now.
...I always thought Duran Duran was pretty cool... and the Beatles were overrated. :-)
Those of you replying to Cronan are engaging in an act of futility. Some of you may already know this. Others who don't, should check out his postings on deja-news. He's quite open about the fact that he is one of the most ascerbic posters on the net, particularly where Trek and Babylon 5 is concerned. He gets a lot of people angry, but that seems to be all in a days work for him. He can be blisteringly funny, so some of the risks he takes pays off. I don't think he truly believes in what he is posting to the extent that he is posting it; indeed, he is doing a nice parody of a stereotypical ugly American.
To those upset by his posts, ignore him. Obtain a killfile, if you wish. There is one available for Netscape which I use called FixNews 1.0. It's freeware and can be downloaded from http://www.desisoft.com/ I must say, it has certainly enhanced my enjoyment of strolling through the newsgroups by editing out the junk. I highly recommend that you all get one.
Best, James
REASONS TO LIKE AMERICA: 1. My fiancee lives there. 2. They produce Babylon 5. 3. Canada's largest trading partner. 4. PBS
REASONS TO LIKE CANADA 1. Peace, order and good government (well, two out of three ain't bad). 2. We help produce "The X-Files". 3. America's largest trading partner. 4. CBC
REASONS TO LIKE THE UNITED KINGDOM 1. They produce "Doctor Who" and other quality television like "Inspector Morse". 2. They did give us fish and chips. 3. They stood alone against the Nazis. 4. Many of us originally came from there, after all...
There were other "allies", even in early 1940. Hell, even the US, though not in the war yet, was giving England ships, planes, and weapons under "lend-lease". However, they did bear the brunt of the attack for a long time, eventually winning in the battle of Britain. It was a shining day for the RAF, and England as a whole. It, in a way, turned the entire war around. It showed that Germany could be beaten.
I am not Canadian. I am not related to Canada. I have never even been to Canada. They just make some cool TV stuff and I would like to visit one day. I am British. Got anything against that?
Well, I'll give you this: Canadian beer is far better than most american beer. I'll take a Labatts over a Miller anyday. As for anything else... hmm, X-files, Hockey, uhm... that's about it.
Hmmmm.....Canadian beer is better than American beer?........And you're basing that solely on a comparison between Labatts and Miller. I have to disagree. American microbrews such as Pete's Wicked, Sam Adams, and a host of others abolish Canadian beers any day. Now, if you're looking for alcohol content, Canadian beer is by far the winner. They have to get drunker faster to forget they are in that back-ass country. The liquor stores in Canada are pretty slick, though.
No. I'll take a Labatts over a Pete's Wicked anyday.
Sam Adams is tasty, I give you that. But a 6 pack of molson or Labatts is a lot cheaper than a 6 pack of sam adams. And I still like labatts more anyways.
They force Canadian beers to become illegal?
If I was, I'd buy Milwaukee's Best Ice. Shrug.
I am not ashamed to say that most american beer brewers could learn a few things from their canadian counterparts.
In alt.fan.sailor-moon Plain and Simple Cronan wrote:
Oddly enough, my first cousin (once removed) was clamoring about going to the British Isles when he was 17-18-19. Something about there still being chivalry and Knighthood there. (He was very much into the S.C.A. then.) And, yes, he's American. He's Mercurial though (Gemini) and generally disappointed by incivility, of which we get a fair amount here in the U.S.A.
that's ok dude, French people piss everyone off. Their government blew up a Greenpeace ship in our harbour a few years ago, which killed one of the crewmen. They got caught and sentenced the agents involved to three years on a pacific island. Some punishment huh?
On Sun, 12 Apr 1998 21:11:39 +1200, in message , Octopus Tribe said onto alt.religion.kibology:
}that's ok dude, French people piss everyone off. Their government blew }up a Greenpeace ship in our harbour a few years ago, which killed one of }the crewmen. They got caught and sentenced the agents involved to three }years on a pacific island. Some punishment huh?
Before enlisting, you may want to learn about the experiments they do on some of their pacific islands. Can you say "energize"? BTW, I apologize to the people in alt.fan.sailor-moon. I don't think this could be observed by people sailing to the moon, I think they're on another ocean, but I left the group in because I'm not sure. Thanks for understanding my stoopidity.
Most non-Canadians aren't. For a non-Canadian you certainly see mas stupid as one
I have never even been to
Fate protects fools, little children and the United States of America.
You're psychological health is no longer at issue.
Yes. You wankers of a faded empire are constnatly starting trouble that we have ot finish. Antagonizing the Germans into both World Wars, starting the Cold War and other such examples of idiocy. We're tired of protecting you from yourselves.
"Plain and Simple Cronan" wrote to and alt.tv.due-south:
== == Tom Bird wrote == >> Do we need any more proof of Canadian inferiority ? == > == >I am not Canadian. == == Bully for you! == == > I am not related to Canada. == == Most non-Canadians aren't. For a non-Canadian you certainly see mas stupid == as one ==
Most Canadian bacon isn't related to Canada either, but it sure gets around.
You Limey bastard. As long as you don't make fun of americans for "bastardizing the Proper Queen's English," I'll leave you alone. Americans may be assholes, but we are the biggest kid on the block, mauahahaha. Picture us as backwoods cousins that got a little too big for our britches.
-> From: [email] (JDzienisze) -> Subject: Re: An Open Letter from an American Citizen to Her Majesty's -> Subjects -> -> >From: "Tom Bird" -> -> > I am British. Got anything against that? -> -> You Limey bastard. As long as you don't make fun of americans for -> "bastardizing the Proper Queen's English," I'll leave you alone. Ame -> be assholes, but we are the biggest kid on the block, mauahahaha. -> Picture us as backwoods cousins that got a little too big for our -> britches.
You should visit. It's beautiful. We don't spend our time polluting the environment so every fuck and his dog can have eight guns and down Big Macs.
Canada does have cool TV stuff. I guess you've never heard of the National Film Board of Canada.
World War One was started by the Germans and Austrians by antagonizing the Russians over the Balkans. The British tried to stop it by guaranteeing Belgian neutrality.
World War Two was handled ineptly by the British, but they did try to stop it by drawing the line at Poland. It was too late, Hitler wanted Europe.
The United States started the Cold War by dropping the bomb on Japan, forcing the Russians to "rush" ahead on their own bomb project.
The Americans are only responsible for : the Korean War, Vietnam, the Cold War, the invasion of Panama, the Gulf War, the Drug War... great country you have there.
If you did perhaps you'd have an economy that didn't rely compeltely on ours for charitable donations. Luckily enough we're moving all our polluting facotires off ot the third world... that includes Canada.
Yes I have. The Soviet Union had a similar organization and they were famous for their quality films.
we
the
Wrong. The British ere teasing the Kaiser and pissed him off. That tore it.
And who saved the West? The US of course. We are the world.
Wrong. Stalin began the rush long before that.
Yes. More billionaires than you millionaires, more people have a hger standard of living, etc, etc. Our wars have insured world dominance. Not a single corner of the globe is out of reach of our military might. The best you can do is harass Eskimos.
"Plain and Simple Cronan" wrote to and alt.tv.due-south:
== == Bradley Scott Newman wrote == == >: I have never even been to == >: Canada. == > == >: Fate protects fools, little children and the United States of America. == > == >You should visit. It's beautiful. We don't spend our time polluting the == >environment so every fuck and his dog can have eight guns and down Big == >Macs. == == If you did perhaps you'd have an economy that didn't rely compeltely on ours == for charitable donations. Luckily enough we're moving all our polluting == facotires off ot the third world... that includes Canada. ==
Americans don't just move factories away. For example, Israel is going to open a factory in the U.S. so it can make and sell Uzis in America to avoid President Clinton's ban on assault weapons.
Of course, you might not consider an Uzi factory a "polluting" factory.
America: a nation of fools and (intellectually) little children. Or big fat bastard children.
It is a fact that American (even the name 'America' sounds like a dodgy spanish republic) children, year for year are less mature than children of the rest of the world.
You think you're big but your nation is a joke!
Total agreement.
That's 'your', not 'you're'. Damn you're a fuckwit. Take the apostrophe out and it becomes 'you are psychological health is no longer at issue'.
I've seen Canada on TV: nice, clean, civilised - next to what I've seen of America - dirty, arrogant and ridden with crime.
Interestingly enough, that's why we posess more than a 25% of the world's economy and have been its industrial output leader since the 1890s.
So? It is a fact that America is the most powerful nation ever to exist on the face of the Earth. Power makes people giddy. They develop less quickly. But upon coming to full maturity Americans have power beyond the wildest dreams of any Englishman at the height of their Empire. And we never got kicked out of occupied territory by a man in a cloth diaper.
A joke with more power than anything your feeble mind can comprehend.
Of course you would. You are a moron. It's your job.
I'm allowed to be. I'm a fucking American. When you have Jesus, nuclear weapons and the NRA on your side then you don't need to know how to spell.
Interestingly enough, America's syndiacted programs are the post popular around the world....
I doubt the majority of Americans attain any real maturity. Look at Windows 95 - names like 'My Computer' and Office 97 - a talking paperclip for fucks sake.
Don't try my patience, fool.
the
You're a fuckwit. You're an American!
spell.
But it helps. One of your _presidents_ couldn't even spell 'Potato' (or was it 'Tomato?).
of
One of the great mysteries of the world. Only Star Trek is really worth watching.
Former Vice President Dan Quayle, when visiting a grade school, was mistakenly handed the wrong cue card about the word "potato"'s plural spelling versus it's singular one. Please determine for your self which part of the last sentence is, for you, scarier of the scatiest than the other parts, and explain why.
The thought that Dan Quayle was VP of the US. I remember hearing a joke, something along the lines of, "I don't like George Bush, but I don't want anything to happen to him, as that would make Dan Quayle the President."
This is off-topic (like the original post was on-topic), but think about how many presidents have been assasinated(sp) of all presidents... If we are so cool, why have so many presidents been killed?
No one's tried to kill our Prime Ministers, although the PM choked a protestor in the fall. The media had a field day.
And along those lines, call me when you get a Prime Minister like Pierre Eliott Trudeau (A.K.A. PET), who was the coolest cat in Canada (ot an easy task). When you've got a hed of state who constantly gives the finger to the media, you know something's right!
It's my understand the PM just pushed him out of the way really hard. The media exaggerated it.
"Mangez de la merde." (French for "eat sh*t," which he shouted at some mail
trucks duing a mail strike.)
"Fuddle duddle." (He apparently told some one to F. off under his breath.
Later, when he was questioned about it, he claimed he said "Fuddle duddle.")
What a guy.
On 17 Apr 1998 07:29:34 GMT, [email] (JDzienisze) wrote:
Because in a country with this many people, there's bound to be somebody out there angry enough to kill the president. And with relatively easy access to guns, the opportunity is there to go through with it.
Actually, it was a vice-president: Dan Quayle. And he spelled it correctly in a way, as he used an old english version. But shrug, Dan Quayle was a joke. We all know this. He was our version of your royal family. Luckily, after 4 yrs, he was gone... unlike the royal family...
I remember a magazine article... in _TIME_? Or Newsweek, I can't remember... at the height of the Dan Quayle/"Murphy Brown" controversy... the headline was "DAN QUAYLE MAY BE ON TO SOMETHING!" It was a comparison of Hollywood to the rest of the USA, and how VP Quayle's opinions actually resembled those of most of America, and didn't even come close to Hollywood's.
I don't think Mr. Quayle was the BRIGHTEST bulb in the galaxy... but you must admit, he had more airtime than BUSH did as a VP... :-)
-sigh-... are you just ASKING to get your ass kicked? Everyone knows that America rocks... hell... your women love us,.. we value dental care, and our country is more than just a rock jutting out of the ocean.
... and besides...
My country can kick your country's ass... heh... or do we have to prove that to you... again. ;)
As for Canada... I bet it is a nice place... but I can do without Eurotrash. Crappy music, crappy tv. Your greatest contribution to society is Monty Python.
Understand, I am only half-serious here... your post did stand out as totally ignorant however. So I felt compelled to respond.
The british inferior ??? what would americans know ? what have they ever done that's so great ? did I miss something ? didn't Charles Babage invent computers (he's not american) Arther C Clarke invented the comunication satellite and he's british as well, logi bard invented TV and he's not american neither was alexander graham bell, just what are you americans so proud of ??? the amount of people who are getting killed on the streets because of your stupid gun laws, or perhaps it's your great record on enviromental issues (you know polution effects us all you selfish bastards !) or perhaps it's because you still have the death penalty in many states (neanderthals) or perhaps you're amazingly proud of your amazingly shallow sense of humour, god I could go on for hours, just write one thing that you americans actually think you're superior to any one else at (without making us laugh please).
miroprocessor invented by Americans for the space program.
Americans built and launched the first one. Einstien was German. We built the bomb.
logi bard
No he did't
AT&T: American Telegraph and Telephone.
Everything.
the amount of people who
Excess population. That's why your average American must be smarter and stronger. He has to know how to outsmart bullets. Not an easy task. You breed your morons and end up with Princess Di.
or
Yes. We move our polluting industries to the third world and keep the high tech clean ones. We havea great record on such things. Plue you're all ugly.
or perhaps it's
Excess population. Death begets death.
Yes, we are. We are also proud of our Armed Forces, economy and world hegemony.
I'm sure you could. You wouldn't say anything however.
At least _Americans_ aren't self-righteous and condescending.
Just to end this because it's boring me, and because I'm American and I also like Britain and the British people....
Okay, lads, just go ahead and pull out your willies. Measure 'em. Done? Good, glad that's out of the way.
Now, onto the second round. Go ahead and see how far you can pee. *twiddle* Well, come on already! What do you mean you're shy?!?! Just urinate already! ... Okay, fine. Done here too.
I'm glad that's all finished. Back to your regularly schedule nonsense.
Okay.. how about carnage? We're a violent bunch of psychotic, trigger-happy bastards, and there's nothing we like better than killing foreign populations that we don't like. You may not like the Americans, but we can kick all your asses, make your land uninhabitable for years, and be back in time for dinner.
(Anyone that takes this seriously should go commit suicide NOW, as a favor to himself and those around him. We DO have a certain historical penchant for violence though, don't we?)
Now, as someone suggested, can we put an end to this? You know, before I start thinking that the above is a valid argument, and cease to care whether or not other countries think America's a bunch of jerks? *_*
== Okay.. how about carnage? We're a violent bunch of psychotic, trigger-happy == bastards, and there's nothing we like better than killing foreign populations == that we don't like. You may not like the Americans, but we can kick all your == asses, make your land uninhabitable for years, and be back in time for dinner. ==
I'm not a Southern Baptist, so please speak for yourself.
[email] (David Marshburn) wrote to alt.religion.kibology,alt.tv.earth-final-conflict,alt.tv.due-south,alt.tv.southpark,alt.fan.sailor-moon,alt.tv.earth-final-conflict,alt.final.conflict and alt.tv.due-south:
== At least _Americans_ aren't self-righteous and condescending. ==
But he didn't build it. Besides, he only did it to impress Ada Lovelace so that he could get some "Lady Ada Love Action". He even promised her that he'd give her a programming job, but that's one of the oldest tricks in the book. See, mah man Babage was a plaaa-yuuh, Holmes -- and I ain't talking Sherlock neithuh.
But we got them into space for you. If it wasn't for us, Mr. Clarke's stinky old satellites would've been big ugly metallic doidys setting on the ground, emitting radio waves that made all of you bald and sterile. Plus you'd probably get CANCER! WE SAVED YOUR ARSE FROM CANCER WITH OUR MIGHTY PHALLIC ROCKET SHIPS!
We invented television shows. I mean, who cares about TV without Baywatch?
We invented AT&T! AND We spawned the phone sex industry!
Okay, maybe we have stupid gun laws, but our bombs are smarter than anybody elses! NEENER NEENER NEENER! Our bombs are *smarter* than yours.
BTW, most of the people getting killed on our streets are Brits and other foreigners who're visiting Disney World in Florida. I believe this would be a fine example of Darwin's theory of natural selection. If you're foreign and stoopid enough to visit Disney World, then you deserve to be killed in our streets because of our gun laws. Mickey Mouse is EEVAL!
LONDON IS THE CLEANEST CITY IN THE WORLD!
Yeah, all Gacy, Manson, Dahlmer, and Bundy ever needed were big hugs from the Teletubbies and everything would've been *just fine*. Leave one of them alone with your wife and kids for a week and see if your tune doesn't change. MR. ENGLISH BEEF-EATER!!! MAD COW DISEASE! MOOOOOOOO! MOOOO!
Doidy doidy poop! Poop is a funny word... Mr. FRUMPY TOILET HEAD!
Well you certainly can't blame us for Hercules and Baywatch being the world's most popular television shows. Just because we make crap doesn't mean you all have to go and eat it up like candy.
And what the hell is up with that Mr. Blobby shite? NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE *THAT'S* FUNNY... RIGHT??!
[01] Making money. [02] Having wars to make more money. [03] Spawning large monopolistic companys that make money. [04] Spending money. [05] Making guns. [06] Creating the Internet. [07] Kibo was born here. [08] Unix. [09] BSD Unix. [10] Kicking your arse at the end of the 1700's. [11] Kicking your arse at the beginning of the 1800's. [12] Saving your arse *twice* in the 1900's. [13] Nuclear weapons. [14] We've been to the moon. [15] Our penal system didn't lead to the eventual creation of vegemite. [14] Levis bluejeans. [15] Parliament (no, the band you wanker). [16] Baddest serial killers around. [17] Star "FUKKEN" Trek. [18] You all got tricked into buying Microsoft products and now you're fukked. [19] Star Wars. [20] Breast implants. [21] The movie _Titanic_ (The actual ship was a failure).
... I could go on for hours... But I won't... Now piss off and go EAT A STEAMING BOWL OF SPOTTED DICK!
-jarai.
P.S. Actually, Star Trek alone makes us better than everyone else in the world. Why you ask? Two numbers and one word: 7 of 9
Every canadian/englishman I talk to brings these up. Oh, forgot "Vietnam". Do you realize that when you look at the statistics saying "crime in america is 4 times higher than in Canada! Canada rocks!" you are not thinking about the fact that America has many times your population. How many canadians are there? 20 million maybe? Last time I checked, there were about 270 or so million americans. Our country is also smaller than yours, although somewhat more habitable. We have more crime because we have more people. As for the right to own a gun, shrug, I support it. The more americans that own a gun the better. Yeah, we have such a shallow sense of humor. We came up with a show like south park. A show which you seem to love. And people like Dennis Leary, George Carlin, and Dennis Miller have a shallow sense of humor? Somehow I doubt that.
Hmm, Basketball, blowing stuff up, pissing a non-american off, and ideas. The bad thing is that Americans come up with great ideas, but other countries seem better at utilizing them in the cheapest way. I think this is changing somewhat though. Also, I'd have to guess that most of the business world is using either American computers and chips, or licensed copies of them. Or even bootlegs; see: china.
I'm afraid they are. Crime statistics are calculated on a per capita basis, usually number of crimes per 100,000 persons. Like they say, size doesn't matter.
You might be able to argue that as you get more people you have increasing returns to scale with respect to crime. But look at some stats. Usually rural crime statistics are two to three times higher than urban stats. We should have higher crime rates, but we don't. You're just violent.
You are five times more likely to shoot someone you know than someone you don't if you keep a gun in your house.
The exceptions which prove the rule.
Gee, when you're the only country that really plays basketball, I'm sure you're going to be the best at it. That's why Canada was the best hockey nation on earth for about eighty years.
Ditto for blowing stuff up, although why can't the American team ever win the Benson and Hedges Fireworks competition?
Americans are undobtably the best at pissing other nationalities off.
I'm too tired to continue this. Call me when the next new South Park is on.
I hate to pull out a small part of such a long post, but this caught my eye. This is a common misuse of the word "prove", and for some reason it always rankles me. Here are the definitions of "prove:
2 a : to test the truth, validity, or genuineness of <the exception proves the rule> <prove a will at probate> 3 a : to establish the existence, truth, or validity of (as by evidence or logic) <prove a theorem> <the charges were never proved in court>
You used the word "prove" in the sense of definition 3, when clearly definition 2 is appropriate. If you stop an think about it, how would exceptions "prove" something in the sense of establishing the validity? Exceptions would tend to establish that a rule was not valid.
Definitions taken from the online version of Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition.
Actually, It came from a game played by the ancient Aztec Indians. The winners got to sit around and drink an alcoholic brew of hot chocolate and the losers got KILLED!
They must have had Latrell Sprewell on their team.
Sources?!?! This is usenet. I don't need no stinkin' sources.
Okay, who said that about the british? Please learn to cut and paste so I know whom you are ripping on.
Invent the car? Send a man to the moon? Invent the polio vaccine? Invent South Park?
Could be.
I think your spelling is wrong. Isn't it Babbage? As in Babbage's Computer Stores?
Not mention he wrote some great sci-fi.
So's my grandfather. Your point?
Never heard of him...and I'm taking a history of science class(who's topic most recently is British scientists).
He isn't?...Guess I fell asleep in class that day. Though I do wonder why he moved to America then?
The Revolutionary War, saving your country's ass in WWI/WWII, etc..., the fact that our waiting lists for simple health care aren't as horrendously long as yours(though, I admit our health care system still sucks)
Yeah, we whack'em over the head with the damn 50lb volume...kills'em quick too. Would you please try to talk about something you have some experience with?
This from a man whose country at one time had the most beautiful forests...don't seen any of those now do we, hmm?
Not in my state(Michigan). Our state constitution doesn't allow it. However we do have Kevorkian. Que sera...
This from a guy who's country who gave us Benny Hill and Dame Edna...
Actually I don't think we're superior, just different. I do however think that this post shows that: 1) you have no idea what a capital letter is and 2) no real understanding of America outside of what your media feeds you.
People like Mac almost make me ashamed of my British heritage.
I've been to Canada many times... it's little different from most of the bordering US states. It's nothing special. And they hate americans, but love american money, as it is worth a fair amount more than the Canadian currency.
Shrug, I have seen beauty all over my nation. From a sunset in Arizona, to hiking in the Mountains of upstate NY, to the stark yet pretty look of Montana, to the Beaches in South Carolina. I have been all over my country, and it's beauty rivals canada's easily. Lay off the stereotypes. Hell, even NYC has a certain beauty about it. As for guns, shrug. It is ingrained into the american mindset to allow the right to bear arms. Remember, we fought a long war for our freedom (you know this, and many canadians are descendants of tories (aka "loyalists") who fled from the USA colonies.
I'm sure you've also heard of the Academy Awards... aka Oscars. And america is filled with gallerys, museums, and the like.
Are you that dense? WTF. This is the stupidest statement I've heard in a long time. Are you saying the USA dropped the bomb to cause the cold war? fear you.
Last time I checked, the US was only one of many UN-sponsored countries who participated in that conflict.
Shrug, you got me on that one. Course, I wasn't even alive, so shrug.
Noreiga brought that upon himself
Again, there were like 30 countries in a "coalition", two of which were england and canada. And also, sadaam started it by invading Kuwait and massing his troops on the saudi border. I fear your history classes.
Uhm, There are drug users in every country. I use some drugs myself. To place the blame of a "drug war" on the US is about as correct as saying "All Canadians are homosexual"
I think so. As for your views, shrug, I won't lose sleep tonight over them.
Oh ya, aye? Aye ya ya aye. Send me some beer and maple syrup. I don't even like Canadian bacon, and you bastards keep sneaking your pathetic currency into OUR country! And taking all that shit from Quebec, I mean KAY-BECK. Damn French speaking cheese eating bastards.
Not me, I love Doctor Who! Hey, if you are British, do you know Ringo?
The British had best thank God that the US did come in and help them. Maybe if they would have taken off those silly red coats and big hats and stopped standing in straight lines shooting muskets, they could have stopped the Germans from bombing the fuck out of them. Or maybe it's because the Irish, a REAL country, were busy bombing their schools and such.
Oh yeah, the Russians got a whole lot done. Untill they dropped the Communist crap, Russia sucked shit.
A final note, I'm sending out all these offensive emails slamming England and Canada because, well, it's fun and I'm a jerk. That, and it has no place in alt.tv.southpark. I think it's pretty damn funny.
Please, flame me bad. It's cold up here in South Dakota, maybe because we're close to Canada. Those damn Mounties, what the fuck?
Bradley Scott Newman, the guy with three neat-o first names instead of just one, wrote in 7 Usenet newsgroups:
^^^^^^^^^ You mispled "Mike Zeares." Mike Zeares is a complete bastard.
HTH!
Rhianna
(who deleted all the groups except a.r.k. & a.t.s. because people outside of the Kibological loop wouldn't get it and she doesn't want to be slapped with a red herring or at least with a VW Microbus for spreading the word about the circumstances of Mike Zeares' birth.)
On Thu, 02 Apr 1998 09:31:45 GMT, Ben Yarbrough wrote:
And Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas ARE Canadians acting out those portrayals, fer cryin' out loud. ^_^
I think the original message was posted by someone who just has too much free time on their hands. With all the creative things that could be done sitting in front of a computer, to waste time with something like this is almost sad.
and did anyone happen to make the connection between the post and the date it happened to be sent to the newsgroup?? as in April 1 .......
Marianne, a Canadian who isn't offended by some ongoing American (and other country's) ignorance regarding our country. After all, we have health care, and gun laws, and an abundance of fresh air and water..oh yeah, Paul Gross is ours too ;-)......
Well... this gentleman, in a later message, DID say he was being dead serious. If you've read the rest of this thread (and if you haven't, I'm encouraging you to do so) then you'd understand that apparently he was one of many who didn't understand that the joke was on all of us.
Canada is beautiful country... I've seen it before. I do crack on the Canadian's "self-important" attitude, but I also don't blame them for t... it's their french heritage. :-)
Paul Gross? Who's Paul Gross? BTW, since you don't seem like the type to be easily annoyed by such a question, does Canda have a culture of it's own? If you've ever seen Canadian Bacon, they made an interesting point. YOu don't hear about <or should I say 'a-boot'?> traditonal Canadaian dances or meals or anything. The closest I can think of is hockey, the sport of the gods.
1.) Baseball was invented and improved by Americans.2.) Cricket is what your Limey slave drivers play; I'm surprised that that isn't more popular than baseball in Canada. 3.) Who let Canadian teams in to the AMERICAN League and the NATIONAL League of nation called the United States of America?
Canadian culture, what still exists of it, is rather subtle. Like American culture, it has been altered considerably by the various immigrants sweeping into and building up the nation in its early years. One difference: Canada's most recent immigrants have come from across the globe, and Canada itself has, thus far, refused to go the "melting pot" route that characterizes American society. Although there is debate over the merits and successes of Canada's multiculturalism (I happen to like it), the end result has still been that a fair chunk of Canada's culture is composed of a patchwork quilt of other cultures intermingling in various communities.
Another aspect of Canadian culture, and one that goes right back to the
formative states of the nation, is a conscientious rejection of 18th
century liberalism and a strong acceptance of Tory tradition. Canada
eschewed the individualism-first mentality of the United States from the
start by staying out of the American Revolution. The influx of United
Empire Loyalists fleeing persecution in the United States following the
revolution enforced this basic difference. Thus the Canadian political
scene is far more complex than that seen of the Americans. The American
political culture is primarily stuck on the Liberal/Libertarian side of
the spectrum, while Canada not only has this Liberal/Libertarian streak
imported by later American immigrants, but remnants of its Tory
tradition remain.
Toryism is an older political philosophy that gives community
rights some standing alongside individual rights. Initially imported
from the class-structure of Britain, Red Tories today retain this sense
of individual duties alongside individual rights, while at the same time
refusing to embrace the ideals of Socialism. However, Socialism did
manage to grow more in Canada because of the fertile ground of communal
rights furnished by Canada's Tory tradition -- that, and the fact that
Socialism in Canada was imported as a ligher version by the British
middle class, and was thus more acceptable to the mainstream than the
more hardcore German marxism that was imported into the United States
and thus more easily dismissed by the mainstream.
The modern result is that Canada is more willing to trust its
government and look to its government in terms of providing services to
the less fortunate. Because of our respective histories, Canada has had
more respect for the rule of law, although this has often been described
simply as "Canada's polite society".
The French issue adds another wrinkle to this complex question. They maintained their language, culture, religion and unique form of civil law as part of a deal that the British made in order to ensure that they did not join the American Revolution -- which did occur just a few years after Britain was ceded that territory following the Seven Year War with France.
On Thu, 02 Apr 1998 12:38:17 -0500, edward gowarty wrote:
If you are laughing along WITH someone who is making a joke, then THAT is funny. If you're laughing at someone who is acting seriously, and in a pathetic manner to boot, then THAT is sad. I can laugh with the best of 'em, but I have more sympathy then laughter for the village fools.
Laugh,. I've been to Canada many times, and they tend to be the most racist people i've met. And egotistic, to boot. Let us not forget that much of Canada's population are made up of descendants of the tories. IE people who loved it when England was fucking them over in colonial times. That is, until the americans burned their houses, raped their women, and basically told them to leave or die.
A lot of my friends are Canaian, and they found it funny. i think it's pathetic if you can't laugh at yourself. You're apologizing to Candians? Ok, then apologize to Jews, blacks, small inncoent kids, animals, gays, Britsh people, etc. and everyone who has been picked on by South Park as well. I'll expect your apology (no less than 5000 words) on my desk in the morning..
I haven't actually had the opportunity to see any South Park (in the UK with no satellite, cable or owt but the aerial on the roof) but the impression I get is that the intention of the show is to make humour at other people's expense. I don't care if they take the piss of british people or the places they live. I don't take it personally.
If you don't like a show, don't whinge, just don't watch it.
After seeing it on yesterday, I think it pokes fun more at the american's and how they don't really understand us. Heck, I think it was quite flattering that they actually got our national anthem right. My only problem, they didn't say eh? once.
If that was a Maritime accent then they did a very bad job at it.
I thought exactly the same way. And it would've been funnier for non-Canadians if they had used the actual Saskatchewan Roughriders name instead of embellishing it to Vancouver (BC Lions) ...
Actually, it was the sort of English accent that was common in upper class English-speaking Canadians in Ontario and in Montreal through the '50s ... did the South Parkers download CBC archive files from their Web site or what???
On 8 Apr 1998 04:39:56 GMT, [email] (Gary L. Dare) wrote:
Actually I was just sort of trolling but I wasn't really offended. You got to admit that they nailed the 2 Roughriders, the Celiene Dion thing, the fact that we consume more Mac & Cheese per capita than anyone in the world (by a wide margin or should I say margarine). I guess the one true failing of the episode is that it wasn't written by Canadians. We seem to be the only ones who can parody ourselves with style. I still don't know where people get the idea that we say aboot instead of about. I don't assume that if I go to Seattle they'll all talk like 'Maricans.
And how about an apology for all us American citizens for South Park potraying us as stupid, ignorant, foul-mouthed, murderous, lecherous, gun-toting, beer-drinking rednecks? Or does that just go for Colorado citizens?
...and to Leonard Maltin and Barbra Streisand and Tina Yothers and Patrick Duffy and Scott Baio and Saddam Hussein and the people of Colorado and...
It's a CARTOON, folks. Get over it. For those who are so crushed and disappointed that the "new" episode wasn't what you were expecting, get over it and get on with the important things in life. ::shaking head::
Snip of a really stupid, pointless tirade/apology about Southpark... (just for the record, how are alt.tv.due-south, alt.tv.southpark, and alt.fan.sailor-moon connected?)
What I really want to comment on:
What's up with that title? 'Her Majesty's Canadian Subjects'? We are not subjects. We honour Britain's monarchs, we respect them, but we are not subjects. And we do not belong to the Queen.
She's the only thing holding Canada together at the moment. Without her, Bouchard would've seperated long ago. But because all ministers have to declare allegiance..
Otherwise, its treason. *snicker*
Of course, even if he COULD get a majority vote to seperate, it wouldn't do him any good. He'd have to pass a bill into law, and to do that, guess who has to sign it? *evil grin*
Yeah, but Labour and the Liberals can have a FIELD DAY with Buck House for denying assent to a bill CLEARLY SUPPORTED BY THE PEOPLE. The Americans and the Europeans would snicker about the Canadian return to absoulte monarchy, the Quebecois would have more fodder for independence, and what qould happen to your beloved constitutional monarchy?
IMO, that letter was dumb and didn't deserve any response but a "Thanks for showing us how stupid you are by apologizing for a movie of a cartoon within a cartoon in 4 newgroups that it has nothing to do with" letter. (the alt.tv.southpark was fine, but 3 NGs of live-action shows and an NG of an anime cartoon...?)
And in response to what radaar said:
What, having a picture of someone on your money means you belong to them? I don't think so, radaar. I mean, geez, if that's what it's all about, why does America have a bunch of dead presidents on its money? You can't tell me the US belongs to dead guys that ran the country way back when. Re-read Idylwyld's next to last sentence, hun...
Whatever, I've contributed enough to this on-going discussion about that stupid letter. I'm outta here.
I, as an American Citizen wish to reinforce My Gardineer's expressed views with a few of my own, for balance...
The April 1'st Episode of Southpark, and it's portrayal of Canada, Canadians, and Celine Dion, in my opinion is rivalled in accuracy, and quality only by National Geographic documentaries.
I think the show represented, without exaggeration, or distortion, the Canadian experience as we all know and hate.
We in America can only pity you poor Canadians, and now, this documentary of the struggle you have led against the likes of Saddam Hussein (or even your average, unruly tourist) just walking in and taking over your country as you cower and kneel before their feet, is why I have personally been moved (and flushed thereafter) to take up the cause of you poor slovenly unworthy souls to the north, and donate to your Sally Struthers sponsored charity.
I am sure all Americans feel as I do, to help the less fortunate retched ones who's country really ain't worth squat.
Please, everyone donate now, even a penny will do (Please, just one per household, or organization...I mean these ARE Canadians, so don't get TOO carried away...)
Thank you for your time, understanding, and abject pity for the weak minded ones up north who wish they had a real country like ours...
Brought to you by the: American Patriots Reticent International Legion
One thing I've learned about posting to Canadian-friendly news groups is NOT to insult them - they just flame you back and complain about American lack of politesse.
But I WAS serious! It has been my expereince that a Canadian with a modem and an ISP, upon reading a post, written by an American, that is critical of their people, country, Crown, Government, etc., will simply flame the writer. I should know: I've questioned their government, and the fact that film companies prefer Canadian exteriors to US ones, thanks to a strong US dollar and Mulonroy-era labour laws.
Who gives a rats ass. Has anybody ever noticed that Celine Dions "Svengali" like husband/manager is about 40 years older than her? BTW, Canada has some pretty good skiing.
Hey they have hockey too!!!!11 And an 18yr old drinking age (which I think 80% of this newsgroup still couldn't be legal with) Aside from that.... uhm, the X-files is filmed there. Oh, and they don't like us americans, although they really don't have a culture of their own.
On 4 Apr 1998 16:41:58 GMT, [email] (Peydria Higgins) wrote:
If you want to see stupidity in full swing, you should come read the South Park group. We've got people in here who are going to stop watching the show, write the channel that airs it to complain & try to get anyone and everyone they can to boycott the show because they got duped by an April Fools joke. Now _that's_ stupidity.
How about the portrayals of Canadians as patriotic and loyal, both to their country and to the RoughRiders (or the CFL in general)?
For that matter, Canadians weren't the only ones maligned. Amazingly, you aren't seeing a ton of Arab-Americans complaining about the "Iran/Iraq, it's all the same thing" bit.
Wow, this really entertains me. How come you dont see anyone posting apologies to the president of the United States for the fact that EVERY other SP episode up to this point has portrayed Americans as corrupt mayors, inadequate police forces, and gay teachers who direct their lives solely on what their HAND tells them to do!
The same thing happened when the Simpsons took on Australia....parody America ALL YOU WANT...but take on another culture and OH NO!!!!
Sorry if your post was a joke, I couldnt hear the sarcasm in your voice <g>....if it wasnt a joke you really need to lighten up.
I just have one question. Why did you post this to this NG? It has nothing to do with Sailormoon what-so-ever. Even in a OT sense. It would be like me posting to alt.fan.monkey-butts or whatever. And for any Canaidian who might have been offended, I don't think many were. They saw it for what it was. A CARTOON! If anyone did get offended by "South Park" (and a damn funny eps. it was) I think being Canadian is the least of their problems.
I just have one question. Why did you post this to this NG? It has nothing to do with Sailormoon what-so-ever. Even in a OT sense. It would be like me posting to alt.fan.monkey-butts or whatever. And for any Canaidian who might have been offended, I don't think many were. They saw it for what it was. A CARTOON! If anyone did get offended by "South Park" (and a damn funny eps. it was) I think being Canadian is the least of their problems.