"The Company Way"
[SCENE - THE MAIL ROOM]
MR TWIMBLE: When I joined this firm As a brash young man, Well, I said to myself, "Now, brash young man, Don't get any ideas." Well, I stuck to that, And I haven't had one in years.
J PIERREPONT FINCH: You play it safe.
MR TWIMBLE: I play it the company way; Wherever the company puts me There I stay.
FINCH: But what is your point of view?
MR TWIMBLE: I have no point of view.
FINCH: Supposing the company thinks...
MR TWIMBLE: I think so too.
FINCH: Now, what would you say...
MR TWIMBLE: I wouldn't say.
FINCH: Your face is a company face.
MR TWIMBLE: It smiles at executives Then goes back in place.
FINCH: The company furniture?
MR TWIMBLE: Oh, it suits me fine.
FINCH: The company letterhead?
MR TWIMBLE: A valentine.
FINCH: Anything you're against?
MR TWIMBLE: Unemployment.
FINCH: When they want brilliant thinking From employees
MR TWIMBLE: That is no concern of mine.
FINCH: Suppose a man of genius Makes suggestions?
MR TWIMBLE: Watch that genius get suggested to resign.
FINCH: So you play it the company way?
MR TWIMBLE: All company policy is by me OK.
FINCH: You'll never rise up to the top.
MR TWIMBLE: But there's one thing clear: Whoever the company fires, I will still be here.
FINCH: Oh, you certainly found a home!
MR TWIMBLE: It's cozy.
FINCH: Your brain is a company brain.
MR TWIMBLE: The company washed it, Now I can't complain.
FINCH: Hey, the company magazine!
MR TWIMBLE: Oh, what style, what punch!
FINCH: The company restaurant!
MR TWIMBLE: Every day same lunch: Their haddock sandwich, it's delicious!
FINCH: I must try it.
MR TWIMBLE: (Early in the week.)
FINCH: Do you have any hobbies?
MR TWIMBLE: I've a hobby; I play gin with Mr. Bratt.
FINCH: Mr. Bratt! And do you play it nicely?
MR TWIMBLE: Play it nicely... still, he blitzes me In every game, like that!
FINCH: Why?
MR TWIMBLE: 'Cause I play it the company way. Executive policy is by me OK.
FINCH: Oh, how can you get anywhere?
MR TWIMBLE: Junior, have no fear; Whoever the company fires, I will still be here.
FINCH: You will still be here.
Both: Year after year after fiscal, Never take a risk all year!
from: "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying" 1967 UA film "The Company Way" Music and Lyrics, 1961, by Frank Loesser (1910-1969)