drowning eaten by a great white shark* (while vacationing in Australia) electrocuted * sucked out of an airlock in space buried alive in wet cement poisoned parachute failed to open fell into a vat of hyrochloric acid froze to absolute zero
I like the "froze to absolute zero" idea. Picture it, inept Mr. Garrison trying to teach the kids about Liquid Nitrogen, explaining how they use it to make, say, the frozen custard at the shop down the road from Tom's Rhinoplasty..... Or how Liquid Nitrogen was the only way they could get Rosanne's wedding ring off of her pudgy finger after her divorce, by freezing the finger so it would contract a bit.
Thus the kids start playing with it, saying something like "Maybe we could use it to help contract Cartman so he's not such a fat ass!!!" And poor Kenny ends up being the one frozen.
John
shrink Rosanne's finger On 23 Feb 1998 19:29:09 GMT, "Andy P. Jung" wrote:
That would be a novel idea but too bad it is so far impossible to reach absolute zero. Wait listen to me When has anythign on SouthPark really been factual
Kenny watches Viva Variety and gets so sick he can't change the channel. Then The Daily Show with Craig Killborn comes on and Kenny's intestines, in a desperate attempt to stop the pain, leap straight up through his neck and throttle his brain.
i think the Daily SHow is some funny stuff
-ME
Mike Naylor wrote in message ...
A better way to kill Kenny is to have "Hagatha" from Viva Variety accidently use him as a tampon-----"You Bastards !"
Wolfgang Ritter wrote:
Kenny would be sitting and watching one of the new Simpsons episodes on FOX, and would notice how terrible and unfunny they were, and he would pick up a gun, and commit suicide.
On 5 Mar 1998 09:33:51 GMT, [email] (Erich Jahn) offered this unto Shub-Internet:
You mean Seinfeld.
Wolfgang Ritter wrote:
The people at "The Daily Show" are cannibals. They don't justwant to kill you, they want to eat you, too. I laugh at their stuff, but doing so makes me feel all . . . dirty. "Viva Variety" is just what's left of "The State" after they broke up, and they weren't too funny to start with. At least on "Viva Varrrrrrrrriety" there's always a geek act and a music act (and the Swimsuit Squad) to break up the monotony of two former members of "The State" reciting Sonny and Cher's old routines.
I watched Viva Variety last night for the first time... I thought it was OK...
Anyways, I'd like them to watch an orchestra at the SP Forum for some reason (class field trip?), maybe Chef is performing... And Kenny falls out of the balcony into a Timpani where he is drummed to death.
Scott Newman Vancouver, BC
i think that's a good idea especially about rosanne and cartman
And not only is he frozen solid, one of the boys accidentally knocks him over and he shatters into a million pieces.
On Mon, 23 Feb 1998 22:59:17 GMT, [email] (John) wrote:
The funny part is, no one knows what happens when something reaches absolute zero. One of the funny side effects is that the molecules stop bouncing around... so what the hell happens? Better yet, what would happen when they re-heated Kenny, ala the Mutant Stan Microwave Method?
Always thinkin'....
Ben
B. Baron wrote:
An even 'funnier' part is that absolute zero temp means no energy. Temperature is molecules in motion, molecules in the process of gaining and losing kinetic energy. Absolute zero would mean that no energy is being gained or lost by an object at absolute zero. Now here's the tricky part. Anything on, or 'near' a celestial body (planet, moon, star, blah) is automatically disqualified, as it has energy imparted to it by the motion of falling. That's why absolute zero is a limit, like the speed of light in relativity. It can be approached, but never reached.
Justin Hiltscher
i think justin took too much time to think about that...and that such scientific explanations/disqualifications for southpark events should not be considered...
Inpheaux Skifyre (remove no~spam to e-mail me) "thou canst not kill which dost not live" http://surf.to/inpheaux UIN# 1980144
Justin Hiltscher wrote in message ...
South Park could be about to execute a death row inmate, and somehow the lethal injection device flies out the window and injects Kenny who is standing beside the building next to Kyle,Eric, and Stan.
Which happens to be a mile away or so... the "magic hypodermic needle!!!"
Erich Jahn wrote in message ...
the
standing
who are you
you bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
those are pretty boring ways to kill kenny. try something like having a disguised rabid vampire having sex with kenny then ripping his neck to shreds -smoking a dynamite cigarette or j -cartman lighting a fart and catching him on fire -ned murry gives him so much d.r. that he rots to death in the dorm -attacked by jason marcus and his band of jewish fags
How about these?:
-Kenny is last getting onto the bus. The door closes before he gets in and his jacket gets caught in the door. The bus bitch doesn't notice because she'ss yelling at the kids. Then Kenny's jacket rips, he falls to the pavement, and gets run over by the back wheel of the bus.
- Stan barfs trying to kiss Wendy again. They all start to walk away. Kenny slips in the vomit and falls to the sidewalk. As he's getting up all the other kids jump off the sidealk to get out of the way of an old man gunning it down the street in a wheelchair, which hits Kenny.
Nah! Already been done by Chris Farley from an airplane.
Nah! He's gone now. He won $10,000 in a "Stupidest Video" contest and took a vacation in Africa to try to get eaten by a lion.
Kenny gets trampled in a mosh pit, when the Cure (or some band) does a concert in SP. Stan & Kyle go through the usual routine, and then the mosh pit goes after Kyle and Stan.
Kenny gets kidnapped by a rogue band of eskimos (inuit), who mistake him for a member of their band. He gets eaten by a polar bear.
(From an old 60s Batman) : Kenny gets put into a stamp-making machine, and is flattened onto a large piece of paper. On second thought, that's also from James Bond and Indiana Jones as well. Also Austin Powers. Maybe not so original after all. But still better than a tether ball.
Scott Newman Vancouver, BC
An animated Stone Cold Steve Austin gives Kenny the stunner
Kane tombstoning kenny and putting him in the hospital
Kenny gets bored to death watching reruns of all the pilot TV shows that failed on FOX
____________________________________
February 29, 1998 --- The birth of "Stone Cold" Eric Cartman
Cartman 3:16 says: "I just kicked you in da nutz, SON!"
Kenny getting bored to death is a great idea! But shouldn't he be watching a "Gallagher" special? Or at the very least, "Win Ben Stein's Money"?
Good thinking
On 28 Feb 1998 03:04:56 GMT, [email] (The Incarnate) wrote:
Keep it simple.... I'd like to see him run with scissors!
I have a few more unexplored ways to kill Kenny.
On 27 Feb 1998 21:03:05 GMT, [email] (Michael Weatherly) offered this unto Shub-Internet:
Hiwaii? Where's that? I don't seem to recall any place called Hiwaii.
Even better: Have him light a match and cartman farts and the match flares and catches him on fire and them he starts scream "mmmm mmm mmm" and then lifts a bucket bucket of water (which is really gasoline) and then he blows up in a burst of flames and then die and the rats eat him and stuff and then the usual "OH MY GOD THEY KILLED KENNY" routine and then carman farts again and goes "do I smell something burning" That would kick ass. CARTMAN FOREVER
**glares at her evily through red parka and writes her name down on a little
list**
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SnowCalico-Leader of DKK (Don't Kill Kenny)
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