Cartman: Geeze, can't you guys see he's making it all up? If his mom was struck by lightning, like he says, he'd be dead, too! Stan: Hey, yeah! Kyle: You're not dead, are you, Petey? Petey: Do I LOOK dead? Kyle (checking): Well, no... Stan: So you were lying to us, then. Petey: No, dude. It happened, no matter what this [bleep]ed-up tub of chicken grease says! Cartman: Ay! Petey, I'll kick you in the nuts! (Silence echoes through the cafeteria.) Petey: Was that a threat? Cartman: Well, yeah, uh, no...I mean...God dammit! Petey: Because it sounded like a threat to me. Cartman: Listen, dude, I lost my temper. Just chill, all right? I do it all the time, ask these guys. Kyle: It's true. Stan: Yeah, it really is. Kenny: {Uh-huh.} Petey: Threats make me want to hurt people. Kyle: We know, dude. Just calm down. Petey: I'm trying...but I don't know how. (Wendy and Bebe come over.) Wendy: Hi, Stan. Stan: Oh, hi, We-- Wendy: Hi, Petey!!! Petey: Hi. Wendy: Petey, I'm Wendy and this is my friend, Bebe, and we were wondering if you wanted to come sit with us for awhile. Petey: Sure. (Several seconds of nothing happening go by.) Petey: Okay, I'm ready. (Petey gets up and leaves with the girls.) Cartman: God, I'm really starting to hate that guy! Stan: Well, at least Wendy's keeping him busy for awhile. Come on, let's hurry up and eat, so we can get out of here. (They start shoveling food into their mouths.) Cartman: Is it just me, or does this meatloaf smell like piss? Stan: No, it's not the meatloaf, dude. Kyle: Yeah, I smell it, too. It must be you, Cartman. (Kenny laughs.) Cartman: Ha, ha, very funny, you guys. (Cartman checks himself, then looks over at Petey's seat. It's covered with urine.) Cartman: Ah, God dammit! Petey peed all over his God damn seat! (Stan and Kyle look at each other.) Stan: Dude, I think we're gonna find another table. Kyle: Yeah, eating with pee around just seems wrong. Cartman: Well, I'm coming, too! Stupid, tree-hugging little pisser. (They walk away, leaving Kenny behind. Kenny continues to eat. Later, at the Marsh house, Randy is still staring at the computer monitor.) Randy: Sharon! More coffee, now! Get a move-on, winch! (Sharon comes up to him and slaps him.) Randy: Ow! Sharon: You're not getting any more damn coffee, Randy! Seventeen cups is enough! Now, I've been patient and have put up with you barking orders at me all day, but if this is how it's going to be, Randy, then either get rid of that [bleep]ing computer and go back to work, or I'm taking the kids and going to mother's! Randy: Oh. Sharon: So, what's it going to be, Randy? Me, or the computer? (Randy thinks it over.) Sharon: Well?!?! Randy: All right, all right. I'll get rid of the damn thing, sheesh! Sharon: Good! (Randy resumes staring at the monitor. Sharon comes to a proper boil behind him.) Sharon: RANDY!!! Randy (startled): What? You mean NOW? Sharon: Yes, Randy! Now! Randy: Okay, but if we have a big quake, or something, and everyone dies, it's on your head. Sharon: I'll risk it.
TO BE CONTINUED...
----- Steve Sutton Springfield, Georgia N 32 21 13 W 81 17 56