Cartman and Shelley as a couple? No way!
[Scene: Stan's house, night. His parents and Liane have gone out for the night, and Liane has dropped Cartman off to stay with Stan] Cartman: Ey, Shelley! Stan called me an ass-sucker again! Beat him up for me! Shelley: [glaring at Stan] Why, you little turd! I'm gonna kick your ass now, Stan! Stan: [heads for his room] Aaaaaa! Cartman: Sweet! She's gonna kick his ass! Shelley: [follows Stan] Don't you run away, you little turd! I don't have to wait for Mom and Dad to come home to punish you! I'll do it myself. [reaches his room and kicks the door in. The room is empty] Okay, turdboy, you'd better appear in three seconds or I'll start going through your drawers until I find those letters you've been writing to your little girlfriend! Cartman: [standing in the doorway] Damn! I've gotta read those, too! Stan: [somewhere...] Shelley, you'd better not! [she locates the sound and heads for the closet] Shelley: [opens the closet door] Then come out here and take your punishment like a man! Stan: [pleading] Shelley! I didn't know you liked Cartman so much! Please, don't kill me! I mean, I don't understand how anybody could like Cartman- [she picks him up and chucks him out the window] Cartman: Yes! Respect my authoritah! Shelley: Come on, Eric. Let's go back to the sofa and cuddle. Cartman: Sweet! [End of clip]
Hmmm. This looks like a fanfic. I'll work on it some more