PSA: Cartman impressions

Now, I'd like to point out that I've been complimented twice times on my Cartman impression. I haven't had the courage to get out a tape-recorder and listen for myself, but from what I've been able to gather, I can sound more like him than anyone else I've heard try in person. But it's more than likely far from accurate. It's just a cut above the low standard most people hold.

But if you wish to attempt a Cartman impression, there are two things you should know.

First of all, it's more than quoting Cartman in a high voice. You have to put some snot into it, and by snot I don't mean mucus, but that whiny shrill voice with the slightest hint of a Southern accent that makes Cartman sound so snotty.

Second, even good impressions wear out quickly. And it's not surprising that some gay was walking around the computer lab misquoting Cartman in a high voice to nobody in particular. I tried to humble him with mine, but he ignored me and kept going. And I couldn't just cry out, for all to hear, "YOUR CARTMAN SUCKS!" ...at least not anymore since that would put my impression under scrutiny. Nor could I punch him in the face and knock him out cold. It was like being forced to watch a series of Tim Meadows performances on SNL, while looking for my job printouts at the same time. Despite my talent, I keep it all in context, for example, when the subject of South Park comes up, or a few rare occasions when it would be considered witty. I don't shuffle about the lab muttering "no, you can't have any". It was little para-quotes like these that came up every thirty to ninety seconds this morning from somewhere in lab. I suspect that it was a leak that sprung from an earlier South Park conversation.

I'd like to point out right now that impressions are not an arbitrary tool to make friends or get laid. If you're not a stand-up comedian or dubbing something into another language, impressions will, at best, get you a laugh and/or compliment from pre-existing friends. Even I know that.

I'm willing to accept the possibilty that my Cartman impression also sucks. That's another reason to keep it in the vault most of the time. Only two people have described my impression as accurate. Nobody else has really commented one way or the other. But I'd like to think I haven't tried anyone's patience with it. Annoyed a few people, maybe, but Cartman is annoying, so that's to be expected.

Just remember folks... impersonate responsibly.

Nick S Bensema wrote:

If _only_ I were at liberty to provide you with the telephone number of a lady minister in New England who does the single finest "Cartman" in North America, IMNSHO.

You would slink away, Nick S. Bensema, mortified that you even broached the subject.

Ha!

Darla --- A Personal Friend of This Person.

In article ,

Had I a public access TV show, I would hold a contest. Viewers would call up and leave their impression on a voice mailbox, and then we'd put them all up on TV and judge to see who's the best one.

I doubt those outside North America would be able to get the accent right, though.

Someday I'll figure out how to post without my middle initial. Actually it'd only take five minutes to figure out, maybe less... but who has that kind of time?

Nick S Bensema wrote:

Agreed. I also like to use impressions as a context to put a particular 'spin' on what I'm saying. For example, if I say the word "well" in my normal voice, it means something quite different than it would if I said it in a Ronald Reagan voice.

Yes, but you could've used the phrase I've been using in argumentive situations, "I'll Kick you in the Nuts!" ---Smith