Well This is my first attempt at fic writing, This bit (part one) isnt very long, I hope you like it
Insert legal stuff here if you wish
fanfic, Southpark/Duckman crossover
Scene Kyles house, scamps are sat on sofa watching tv Ike comes bouncing up and points at Cartman
Ike:Lardass Cartman:Ay quit callin me lardass you fanoopel Stan:Dude you've been around Sheila too much Kyle:Yeah, what is a fanoopel anyway Cartman:Its er AY I don't have to answer that kind of question from you ignorant schmegagies. Kyle: {to Ike} Kick the baby Ike:Don't kick the baby
Kyle kicks ike through a wormhole in the space-time continuum which has opened up at the other side of the room
Kyle:What the f<bleep> is that Stan:looks like a wormhole in the space-time continuum Kyle:Dude we've gotta get my brother back or my mom will kill me
Kyle, Kenny and Stan start towards the wormhole and then stop and look at Cartman who is on the sofa
Cartman:Ay I am not looking for your dildo brother
Stan and Kenny grab Cartman and pull him off the sofa
Cartman:Hey let go of me you buttlickers
Just then Sheila enters the room and sees cartman being dragged through the wormhole
Sheila:Hey let go of my cartman, Stan, Kenny, if you don't put him down this minute I will shove pinwheels so far up your asses that they'll come outta your noses. Kenny:(quietly) {Bitch} Sheila:WHAT WAS THAT? [throws pinwheel at Kenny which implants itself up his ass] Kenny:{Ooowwwwwwwwww}
Sheila runs to catch up with the boys but the wormhole closes before she gets there, Sheila runs into the wall and then staggers back
Sheila:wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee [raises hand] a cup of your finest tea please kind sir
Sheila passes out and falls over backwards.
Duckmans City. The scamps fall through the wormhole and onto the pavement, they see Ike dissapearing on the roof of a truck.
Kyle:Chase it
They chase the truck but soon loose it
Kyle:What're we gonna do now? we've gotta find him. Stan:Look there's a private detective maybe we could get him to help us.
Shot of a door with a sign reading Duckman, Private Dick
Kyle:Good idea
They enter the door and see Fluffy and Uranus
Stan:Dude what the f<bleep> Fluffy:How can we help you children Kyle:We need to find my little brother Uranus:Mr Duckman is in his office Fluffy:We'll show you through
They enter Duckmans office, Duckman and Cornfed are at their desks
Duckman:What the hell do you want Fluffy:One of these children has lost his little brother Uranus:They want you to help them find him Cornfed:How old is he? Duckman:Cornfed, let me handle this. How much money you got? Kyle:We don't have any Duckman:Can't you see that I'm a busy person, I can't work for free Cornfed:Duckman, I think it might be a good idea if you took the case, it might help get us some recognition. Duckman:... Cornfed:And women prefer the kind of guys that would help children in distress Duckman:Well, looks like you've found your man kids, Cornfed you were going to ask them something.
The kids are in Duckmans car, Duckman is driving. They pull up outside Duckmans house and get out of the car
Duckman:You'll be staying here till we find your brother, you will have to sleep on the floor. Cartman:What, I'm not sleeping on some crappy floor Kenny:{Dammit Cartman we all have to sleep on the floor, not just you} Cartman:Kenny your family is so poor that you cant afford beds and have to sleep on the floor all the time. Kenny:{fuck you} [punches cartman] Cartman:Ay poor piece of crap Stan:Quit fighting you two
Duckman picks up a pile of mail with a video in a brown paper package on top of it. He opens the video and we see the label, it reads SOUTH POKE
Duckman:[holds up the video] Kids this video is going to teach you an important lesson about life. Duckman puts the video into the video recorder and presses play, a black screen comes up with the words South Poke in big letters, a room looking a bit like cartmans house is shown, we see a man sat on the sofa, and hear a womans voice from offscreen, "can you come and help me with something", the camera pans to someone who looks very similar to cartmans mum wearing only her underwear
Kyle:Hey cartman that looks like your mum Cartman:Ay [the man and woman start fucking] My mom would never do something like that Stan, Kyle and Kenny laugh Cartman:Dammit guys my mom is not a slut Duckman:Shut up, I'm trying to concentrate
Shortly later the scene is of someone who looks like Chef with a bunch of girls and a bottle of caramel sauce
Cartman:I gotta use the bathroom Kenny laughs hysterically Cartman:I'll have you know that I need to exercise my bowels on a regular basis. Kenny:{I bet that's not all you're going to be exercising} Stan and Kyle look puzzled Duckman:First door on the left, try not to stain the carpet Kenny falls off the sofa laughing
Suddenly there is a sound of the front door opening
Duckman:Aaargh that'll be Bernice Duckman rushes to turn off the video Bernice enters the room
Bernice:Duckman why are you standing in front of the tv looking guilty and clutching a video, and who are these children Bernice takes the video off Duckman Bernice:Hmm south poke, were you showing this filth to those innocent children Duckman:Ah well you See Bernice Bernice kicks Duckman in the face Duckman:[clutching beak]What was that for Bernice:For filling those childrens minds with your disgusting pornographic Duckman:Ok ok I get the picture Cartman:[from the bathroom] Goddammit where's the paper
End part 1 Will Kyle find his brother, will Cartman find the paper, will Bernice kill Duckman. Find out in the next thrilling installment of my SP/Duckman crossover ===Secret Vampire=== ICQ# 20957015 What the hell are you looking at? In another life maybe, we'll all be ginger and free - - David Devant and his spirit wife, Ginger remove _spam_ to mail me