Ok. This isn't really a long thing and it doesn't really have much of a point....but, hey, that IS the point! It's kinda like that thing that Snow wrote, "A conversation about oatmeal". Ok? Enjoy...or not...
Scene: Kyle's House
(Kyle is in his room. His mom enters)
Mrs. Brofloski: Kyle, bubby...
Kyle: (Is reading an issue of "Crack Whore Magazine") Mom!! I told you to knock!!
Mrs. Brofloski: What what WHAT??? Don't you talk to you moth-(Gasps) What is that you are reading???!!!
Kyle: (Looks back and forth from the magazine to his mom a few times and then abruptly covers the magazine with his arm) Reading? I'm not reading anything.
Mrs. Broflosiki: (Snatches the magazine and examines the cover) Oh my God!! Gerold! Come quickly!
Kyle: (Tries to sneak out of the room, but his dad enters and blocks the door)
Mr. Brofloski: What is it Sheila? (Mrs. Brofloski, with out a word, flashes him the cover of the magazine) Oh no. Not again. Kyle! Come here!
Kyle: (Reluctantly turns to face his dad)
Mr. Brofloski: Kyle, I'm ashamed of you. Why you would even want to read this-this garbage is beyond me...
Kyle: (Stifles a snicker)
Mr. Brofloski: ...but doing it behind our backs? Kyle, we caught you reading this magazine every day this week! Who is getting it for you? Who? 'Cause I know we're not...
Scene: Cartman's House
(Cartman is sitting on the couch. he is reading "Crack Whore Magazine" and laughing lightly every few seconds. Ms. Cartman is baking cookies in the kitchen, when the phone rings)
Ms. Cartman: (Answers the phone) Hello?
Mrs. Brofloski: Hello, Ms. Cartman? It's Sheila, Kyle's mother.
Ms. Cartman: Yes, hello, Sheila.
Mrs. Brofloski: I have a little matter to discuss.
Ms. Cartman: (sarcastic) Really? What might it be?
Mrs. Brofloski: Your son, actually.
Ms. Cartman: Eric? What did he do?
Mrs. Brofloski: Well, just a few minutes ago, I caught my son, Kyle, reading (pauses) "Crack Whore Magazine"
Ms. Cartman: That nasty magazine?
Mrs. Brofloski: Yes, anyway, when I asked him where he got it, he said that your son is selling issues on the street!
Ms. Cartman: My Eric? *Selling* that type of magazine, let alone *reading* it? I can't believe it...
Mrs. Brofloski: Oh, but it's true!
Ms. Cartman: I doubt it-
Mrs. Brofloski: Ms. Cartman, I demand that you take those-those "magazines" away from your child! *He* shouldn't be reading them, but he's selling them to *other* kids, who aren't old enough to understand the vulgarity! Then *they* read them and-
Ms. Cartman: I'm sure there's a logical explination for th-
Mrs. Brofloski: I swear to you, Ms. Cartman, I'll protest that horrible magazine...(pauses) That's it! I'll protest that horrible magazine! Oh, this will be great! I have to get started on this right away! Goodbye, Diane! (hangs up)
Ms. Cartman: Goodb-oh nevermind (hangs up) Eric? Eric? Can you come here?
Cartman: Not now, ma!! I'm buisy!
Ms. Cartman: (Walks out into the living room and notices Cartman reading. She smiles) Oh, Eric! You're reading! That's wonderful! (pauses and tries to look over his shoulder) What *are* you reading, snookums?
Cartman: (calmly snatches the book "Mowbie Dick" from under the seat cushion and thrusts it in front of the magazine cover so it looks like he is reading the book instead, although the magazine's title still shows, Cartman is unaware of it.) I'm reading the classic, "Mowbie Dick". It is a very interesting book.
Ms. Cartman: Oh, that's wounderful, hon. (Mumbles to herself as she exits) My Eric selling that magazine, never....
Cartman: (Chuckles to himself as he continues reading)
Scene: The bus stop
(The four boys are standing at the bus stop. Cartman is reading the infamous magazine and laughing. The other boys look mad)
Kyle: Dude, Cartman! Put that away!
Cartman: (Still reading and laughing)
Kyle: (louder) Cartman!!!
Cartman: (Doesn't hear him)
Kyle: (yelling) CARTMAN!!!
Cartman: (Looks up) I'm sorry, Kyle, did you say something?
Stan: Damnit, fatass, if you're going to read that magazine, at least let us look too.
Cartman: No way, hippie. You want to read this, cough up a dollar!
Kyle: But Cartman, the last time I bought a copy, my mom found out and she said, (mockingly) "Never, ever EVER let me see that trash again, young man! Now go to your room!" and I've been grounded ever since!
Cartman: Well, your mom's a bitch, Kyle, and that's what bitches do.
Kyle: Dude, don't call my mom a bitch!!!
Stan: Just let us *look* at the magazine, Cartman. We'll give it right back...
Cartman: Pay me one dollar and you get a copy!
Kyle: Give me the magazine!!
(Chef pulls up in his car)
Chef: Hello there, children!
Boys: Hey, Chef.
Chef: (steps out of the car) How's it going?
Kyle: Bad.
Cartman: Good!
Chef: What?
Kyle: Cartman's reading this really cool magazine, and he won't let us look at it! He says it costs a dollar.
Chef: C'mon, boy. Let the other children look at that magazine you got there.
Cartman: No! It's my magazine, and if they want to look at it, then they can pay me a dollar!
Chef: (reaches over and grabs the magazine out of Cartman's hands)
Cartman: AY!!! Give it back, Chef!!!
Chef: Here you go, children. Look all you want at this copy of Crack Whore-Whoah! (Stares at the pictures)
Kyle: Uh, Chef?
Chef: (Stares at the pictures)
Stan: Chef...
Chef: (Stares at the pictures)
Cartman: CHEF!! YOU OWE ME A DOLLAR!! CHEF!!
Chef: (begins to walk back to his car with his nose in the magazine)
Cartman: CHEF!!!
Chef: (drives off with his nose in the magazine)
Cartman: Goddamnit!
(The bus pulls up and the boys step in. The sound of screaching wheels is heard in the distance, followed by shouting)
Townspeople: (in the distance) Get out of the way, Chef! Crazy Sunday-driver! Blah dee blah dee blah dee blah...(ect.)
ok, that's it. If you like it, great. If you don't, that's ok. I can take rejection. Cya!!
Until next time, goodbye to all you wacky people out there in PC land!
~Lindsay :)