The First Part

Jan 20, 199914 posts by 6 posters
14 posts
the_davester

Okay, here it is, the very first part of the alt.tv.southpark Collabrative Fanfic. The ground rules are (with help from Dain of the Iron Hills):

1) No killing of orginally created characters ('regular' SP characters are
   okay to kill)
2) No killing Kenny in the first three parts.
3) The next writer will come on a first-come, first serve basis. That's right,
   you have to respond quickly. All writers will be allowed to contribute,
   though (including non-writers).
4) You may only write one part.
5) Your part (the script part) must not be longer that two 'pages' (on the
   computer screen) of text. If you put your monitor at 800x600 and maximize
   your typing window, then it can be no longer than two 'scrolls' down the
   virtual page.
6) Please include all of the last parts of the fanfic before your part.

And now, on to the first part!

-- SCENE: South Park Elemetary ----------
Mr. Garrison: Now, then, children, mining is very bad, because look what it
              does to the environment. The only advantage to mining is that
              we get the materials to make 'D' batteries for v- stuff.
Kyle: Mr. Garrison, why are we learning about mining?
Mr. Garrison: Because the *SUCKASS* Colorado government makes us do this
              s<bleep> now!
Kyle: Oh.
Mr. Garrison: Because of this, we (Continues in background)
Stan: Kyle, you wanna come over after school today?
Kyle: What for?
Cartman: I wanna come.
Stan: Shut up, fatass.
Cartman: I'm not fat, I just can't control my eating habits.
Kyle: You're damn right.
Cartman: Ay! You son of a bitch!
Kenny: {Cartman, look who's talking...}
Stan: We're gonna go throw rocks at the old Peterson Place.
Kyle: Dude, why do we want to do that?
Stan: Because, we're kids, and we shouldn't know any better.
Mr. Garrison: Stan, are you talking?!
Stan: No.
Mr. Garrison: If you continue, I'll have Mr. Hat bust a cap up yo' ass!
Stan:.... What?
Mr. Garrison: You heard me! He's gonna take you to the curb, too!
Stan:.... o-kay....
Mr. Garrison: Now pay attention the the mining, fool!!!
Stan: eh....

(Mr. Garrison turns around, and starts writing again) Cartman: Ha! Ha! Mr. Hat's gonna bust a cap up your ass! Stan: If he shot a gun at your ass, he couldn't miss, Cartman! Cartman: Yeah, I kn- Ay!

-- SCENE: The bus stop ---------- (Mrs. Crabtree drives by, screaming after she lets the scamps off) Stan: Dude, did you have to shoot that spitwad at her head? Kyle: Yeah. Stan: C'mon, this way to the Peterson Place. (They walk off) Cartman: Ay! What about me and Kenny? He's gonna get scared! Kenny: {Shut yer f*cking mouth.} Cartman: C'mon, Kenny, we'll go scrape up something to do. Kenny: Hee hee heee.

-- SCENE: The old Peterson Place ---------- Stan: C'mon, just throw a rock.

(Stan throws a rock and breaks a window)

Stan: See? Kyle: Okay.... (picks up a rock) Stan: Now, just throw it at the window...

(Right as Kyle throws it, some headlights come up the streets. The rock breaks glass on the house and the car stops. Barbrady comes out) Barbrady: Did you just throw a rock at that house? Stan: No. Barbrady: I thought I heard broken glass... Well, I'm gonna hafta take you both into questioning... or something. (He cuffs them, and throws them into the back of his car) Stan: Hey, watch it, you asshole! Barbrady: Quiet, or I'll arrest your for slander... or something.

(He drives them off to the police station)

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         END of the_davester's part of the Collabrative Fanfic.
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Start the next part here, whoever replies first. Make sure to end your
fanfic like I ended mine (With the row of stars), and delete these lines of
text.
the_davester nirvanasongs @ yahoo.com http://www.geocities.com/~dgisoft/nirvana/ "Remember... sentience is overrated" -- Me

My part I'm making it up as I go along

(Police Station) Barbrady: Now kids it is not good to throw rocks ok Stan: But we didn't throw rocks Barbrady: I'm going to have to ask you to spend the night Kyle: God Dammit (Scene is at Cartmans house) Kenny: Fattass? Cartman: Yes Kenn- AYE Kenny: Why didn't we go with Stan and Kyle anyway Cartman: Because that house is haunted by a natzi ghost. Kenny: Oh... Cartman that is shit I'm going to go find Stan and Kyle (Kenny leaves) Cartman: He'll be sorry (Scene is in a police cell) Kyle: God Dam this sucks its all because of you Stan Stan: No way dude its your fault Kyle: Oh really and how do you suppose that. Stan: You came with me Kyle: It was your idea Stan: Well like I said I am A kid I don't know better Kyle: Fine be like I just won't talk to you tonight Stan: Fine (The kids turn around from eachother angrily) (Scene is at the house Kenny walks up) Kenny: Stan? Kyle? Where are you guys... There gone... What if the ghosts got them.. AGHHHHHH (Kenny runs off) (Scene is back at Cartmans house) Kenny: CARTMAN YOU WERE RIGHT STAN AND KYLE ARE GONE YOU HAVE TO HELP ME Cartman: Why shood I Kenny: Who knows how long it will be until the ghost takes something else... Like cheesey poofs Cartman: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHH... I'll do it To Be Continued

-Dan

OK y'all, here it is. After unmarking all 1601 posts in this NG, I have found the pieces and with a bit of cutting and pasting, have come up with the following sequence (does it read alright?):

-- SCENE: South Park Elemetary ---------- Mr. Garrison: Now, then, children, mining is very bad, because look what it does to the environment. The only advantage to mining is that we get the materials to make 'D' batteries for v-stuff. Kyle: Mr. Garrison, why are we learning about mining? Mr. Garrison: Because the *SUCKASS* Colorado government makes us do this s<bleep> now! Kyle: Oh. Mr. Garrison: Because of this, we (Continues in background) Stan: Kyle, you wanna come over after school today? Kyle: What for? Cartman: I wanna come. Stan: Shut up, fatass. Cartman: I'm not fat, I just can't control my eating habits. Kyle: You're damn right. Cartman: Ay! You son of a bitch! Kenny: {Cartman, look who's talking...} Stan: We're gonna go throw rocks at the old Peterson Place. Kyle: Dude, why do we want to do that? Stan: Because, we're kids, and we shouldn't know any better. Mr. Garrison: Stan, are you talking?! Stan: No. Mr. Garrison: If you continue, I'll have Mr. Hat bust a cap up yo' ass! Stan:.... What? Mr. Garrison: You heard me! He's gonna take you to the curb, too! Stan:.... o-kay.... Mr. Garrison: Now pay attention the the mining, fool!!! Stan: eh....

(Mr. Garrison turns around, and starts writing again) Cartman: Ha! Ha! Mr. Hat's gonna bust a cap up your ass! Stan: If he shot a gun at your ass, he couldn't miss, Cartman! Cartman: Yeah, I kn- Ay!

-- SCENE: The bus stop ---------- (Mrs. Crabtree drives by, screaming after she lets the scamps off) Stan: Dude, did you have to shoot that spitwad at her head? Kyle: Yeah. Stan: C'mon, this way to the Peterson Place. (They walk off) Cartman: Ay! What about me and Kenny? He's gonna get scared! Kenny: {Shut yer f*cking mouth.} Cartman: C'mon, Kenny, we'll go scrape up something to do. Kenny: Hee hee heee.

-- SCENE: The old Peterson Place ---------- Stan: C'mon, just throw a rock.

(Stan throws a rock and breaks a window)

Stan: See? Kyle: Okay.... (picks up a rock) Stan: Now, just throw it at the window...

(Right as Kyle throws it, some headlights come up the streets. The rock breaks glass on the house and the car stops. Barbrady comes out) Barbrady: Did you just throw a rock at that house? Stan: No. Barbrady: I thought I heard broken glass... Well, I'm gonna hafta take you both into questioning... or something. (He cuffs them, and throws them into the back of his car) Stan: Hey, watch it, you asshole! Barbrady: Quiet, or I'll arrest your for slander... or something.

(He drives them off to the police station)

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      END of the_davester's part of the Collabrative Fanfic.
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----- SCENE: Cartman's Living Room----- (Cartman and Kenny are sitting on the couch, eating cheesy poofs and watching Terrance & Phillip) Phillip: Hey, Terrance, I think I've got to fart. Terrance: Me, too, Phillip. Maybe we'll fart at the same time. Philip: That would be just too swell, Terrance. (Terrance & Phillip fart on each other and laugh) Cartman: Stupid dumb-asses. Who wants to go to some shitty old house out in the middle of nowhere when they could be watching Terrance and Phillip? Kenny: {You said it, dude.} Terrance: Hey, Phillip! I just ate some beans and I have to fart again. Phillip: Just don't fart on me, Terrance! (Terrance farts on Phillip and they laugh) Mrs. Cartman: Oh, Eric, hon'. Would your little friend Kenny care for some lemonade? Kenny: {Yes, please.} Cartman: Yeah, and I want some, too! (Mrs. Cartman brings the lemonade and leaves) Phillip: Guess what, Terrance, I think you gave me the farting sickness! Terrance: Oh boy, Phillip! That sounds like fun! (Phillip lets out several loud farts. Cartman and Kenny laugh their heads off) Cartman: You know, Kenny, it just doesn't get any better than this! Kenny: {You know it, dude.} (Cartman sips his lemonade)

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        END of Steve Sutton's part of the Collabrative Fanfic.
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(Police Station) Barbrady: Now kids it is not good to throw rocks ok Stan: But we didn't throw rocks Barbrady: I'm going to have to ask you to spend the night Kyle: God Dammit (Scene is at Cartmans house) Kenny: Fattass? Cartman: Yes Kenn- AYE Kenny: Why didn't we go with Stan and Kyle anyway Cartman: Because that house is haunted by a natzi ghost. Kenny: Oh... Cartman that is shit I'm going to go find Stan and Kyle (Kenny leaves) Cartman: He'll be sorry (Scene is in a police cell) Kyle: God Dam this sucks its all because of you Stan Stan: No way dude its your fault Kyle: Oh really and how do you suppose that. Stan: You came with me Kyle: It was your idea Stan: Well like I said I am A kid I don't know better Kyle: Fine be like I just won't talk to you tonight Stan: Fine (The kids turn around from each other angrily) (Scene is at the house Kenny walks up) Kenny: Stan? Kyle? Where are you guys... There gone... What if the ghosts got them.. AGHHHHHH (Kenny runs off) (Scene is back at Cartmans house) Kenny: CARTMAN YOU WERE RIGHT STAN AND KYLE ARE GONE YOU HAVE TO HELP ME Cartman: Why shood I Kenny: Who knows how long it will be until the ghost takes something else... Like cheesey poofs Cartman: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHH... I'll do it

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                  END OF Ds2587sp's part of the CGF
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Yeah, I'm a 6'3" dwarf. What of it?!? --------------------DO NOT SEND ANY JUNK E-MAIL---------------------- If you send me any junk e-mail, you are breaking the following laws: US Code Title 47, Sec.227(a)(2)(B); Sec.227(b)(1)(C). And I can pursue action under: Sec.227(b)(3)(C) - look 'em up.

In article , [email] (Dain of the Iron Hills) wrote:

<slaps self in the head> I forgot to crosspost to a.t.s.c! I sent a copy after I posted this, but whoever adds to the story line next, please include alt.tv.southpark.creative in the newsgroups line.

Yeah, I'm a 6'3" dwarf. What of it?!? --------------------DO NOT SEND ANY JUNK E-MAIL---------------------- If you send me any junk e-mail, you are breaking the following laws: US Code Title 47, Sec.227(a)(2)(B); Sec.227(b)(1)(C). And I can pursue action under: Sec.227(b)(3)(C) - look 'em up.

On Wed, 20 Jan 1999 07:42:34 -0700, [email] (the_davester) wrote:

ha ha ha!!
we've already run into problems.
i can see two part two's :)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"i love you guys... ah screw you guys!" (Cartman)
the ultimate quote: "                 " (Silent Bob)
icq no: 26170489 e-mail me @: [email] or [email] don't forget to remove the spam block!

In article , mrpsycho@|IdOnTwAnTsPaM|email.com wrote:

Where? I've only seen one. Am I missing something here?

Yeah, I'm a 6'3" dwarf. What of it?!? --------------------DO NOT SEND ANY JUNK E-MAIL---------------------- If you send me any junk e-mail, you are breaking the following laws: US Code Title 47, Sec.227(a)(2)(B); Sec.227(b)(1)(C). And I can pursue action under: Sec.227(b)(3)(C) - look 'em up.

The other part, written by Steve (methinks) was in alt.tv.southpark.creative. :)

~Kyle Broslofski~� �1999, All Rights Reserved, Void Where Prohibited, Batteries....Not Included. "Obsessive Cartman Fan...AND PROUD OF IT!!!"

Yeah, dude! I thought I'd write a little bit for it. Maybe, you can use one of them for the second part and the other for the third, or combine them both for the second part (if that'll work).

Steve Sutton (#1 Kenny fan) Springfield, Georgia

Yeah, dude! I thought I'd write a little bit for it. Maybe, you can use one of them for the second part and the other for the third, or combine them both for the second part (if that'll work).

Steve Sutton (#1 Kenny fan) Springfield, Georgia

In article , mrpsycho@|IdOnTwAnTsPaM|email.com wrote:

OK, I checked out the other version 2 on a.t.s.c and think it fits in nicely right before Ds2587sp's #2 (which would now be number 3). But this brings up a possible new rule (and a reiteration of one of the original rules).

Original rule: You have to POST YOUR INTENT to do the next part (just post something like "I've got the next part"), then wait about 5 minutes or so to see if anyone else is wanting to post as well. Whoever posted first according to the time indicated on the post gets it. Fair enough?

New rule: All posts have to be posted to both alt.tv.southpark AND alt.tv.southpark.creative, so as to avoid any more dual postings. Also fair?

So the next question is, who will pick up the story from Ds2587sp's ending?

Yeah, I'm a 6'3" dwarf. What of it?!? --------------------DO NOT SEND ANY JUNK E-MAIL---------------------- If you send me any junk e-mail, you are breaking the following laws: US Code Title 47, Sec.227(a)(2)(B); Sec.227(b)(1)(C). And I can pursue action under: Sec.227(b)(3)(C) - look 'em up.

All I can say is D'OH! I forgot to save the additions by both Steve and Ds2587sp!!!! Can anyone please repost the entire storyline to this point (in the order of: davester/steve/ds2587sp please)? TIA!

Yeah, I'm a 6'3" dwarf. What of it?!? --------------------DO NOT SEND ANY JUNK E-MAIL---------------------- If you send me any junk e-mail, you are breaking the following laws: US Code Title 47, Sec.227(a)(2)(B); Sec.227(b)(1)(C). And I can pursue action under: Sec.227(b)(3)(C) - look 'em up.

It would've been nice to have known that before. :)

But, isn't alt.tv.southpark strictly for discussion of the show, and nothing else, while alt.tv.southpark.creative is reserved for stories and stuff? Wouldn't posting a story to alt.tv.southpark be breaking the rules?

Steve Sutton Springfield, GA

In article , "Steve Sutton" wrote:

Oops, I thought it was in the original rules. Oh well, make that TWO new rules then. ;)

Technically yes, a.t.s is a discussion NG, but since a lot of folks can't access a.t.s.c., I figured this would solve that problem (and this is the basic standard practice at the moment apparently). Eventually, most folks should be able to get a.t.s.c. through their isps and all the creative stuff will be posted there. Until then ...

Yeah, I'm a 6'3" dwarf. What of it?!? --------------------DO NOT SEND ANY JUNK E-MAIL---------------------- If you send me any junk e-mail, you are breaking the following laws: US Code Title 47, Sec.227(a)(2)(B); Sec.227(b)(1)(C). And I can pursue action under: Sec.227(b)(3)(C) - look 'em up.