There is something I need to know before I suggest this next little suggestion.. IS there an faq?
I'm offering to mantain it and post it every now and again, but I think it should be done via the group.
I know other groups that post their FAQ's TOO often and others that seem NEVER to. (Suggestions for frquency??)
I've gotten these bits of info Full episode listings ( both series) Shorts listing (but maybe not complete... see below...) List of Supposed Things Kenny says... Prob able to transcribe all song words from FIRST series only! (UK terr. no 2nd series yet!) Full cast listing (But will prob. need updating.)
SHORTS LIST Spirit of Christmas Jesus V Frosty A mothers pride (need synopsis) Oh Holy Night Jay Leno Special Cable Ace Awards
any others? (Will need synopses)
What I DO need is Matt and Trey info/ Com Cent info/ Other M&T stuff/
Of course if there IS an FAQ then I'm wasting my time here ; ' p
Please e-mail suggestions for FAQ and synopses etc.. (Don't wanna fill the group up!!!)
either "Reply To Authour" or use below [email]
cheers people! Covenant. A Man With Far Too Much Time On His Hands But Still With A Full And Happy-(ish) Life !
Yes, there is a FAQ, only I have no clue where the keeper of the FAQ went to. Anyone out there remember Cyberwolf? I haven't heard from her in a *LOOOOOOOONG* time...she started an FAQ, and posted it before, and she hasn't posted in a few months or so. She either disappeared, or she's lurking. Earth to Cyberwolf...Earth to Cyberwolf....come in Cyberwolf!!! ;P
If there has already been a FAQ posted (though it might need a little tweaking, al la Covenant), why not just do a Deja News search for titles containing the letters FAQ in the subject posted in this newsgroup? It shouldn't be too hard. Oh, never mind, I'll just f*cking do it myself.
Christ!!!she was a woman-never saw that one coming( sorry didn't mean that-freak austin powers show down!!) I'm thinkin' we let covenant run his FAQ cause then we can abolish newcomers quickly!!!!
If anyone wants to update the faq and keep adding to it, I can have it put up on The Hell Hole. The FAQ we ahve now is really old and outdated. If you want to use it as a starting point though, feel free to steal it and update it. (Make sure you send me a copy of the final version if you do decide to do it)
____ / \
/ \
( )
\ /
__$***$***$__
__$** **$__
_$* Cartman's Chronicles *$__
$* South Park FAQ *$
$* v0.2 *$
$* written by: Mike Howg *$
/ ASCII art by: Mike Howg \
_/____________________________________________\_
/ \
( http://www.telusplanet.net/public/bushx/ )
\________________________________________________/
============================================================================
Quote of the version: "Kick the baby" -Stan
============================================================================
} This tag means, the section contains an update
# This tag means, the section is totally NEW CONTENTS:
0. Disclaimer 1. Introduction 1.1 Author Profile
1.2 How to contact the author 1.3 The story behind the FAQ
} 1.4 How to get this FAQ 1.4.1 WEBPAGE OWNERS PLEASE READ THIS!
1.4.2 Contributing to this FAQ 1.4.3 How to get your link on this FAQ
1.5 Revision History} 1.5.1 What's NEW in this version
} 1.5.2 Revision history list 2. The basic history of South Park
2.1 What is South Park?# 2.1.1 Is South Park going to be cancelled?
2.2 Episode guide# 2.2.1 The Spirit Of Christmas (the original)
# 2.2.2 The Spirit Of Christmas (the sequel)} 2.2.3 First season
episodes
# 2.2.4 Specials 2.3 The characters# 2.3.1 Eric Cartman# 2.3.2 Kenny
# 2.3.3 Stan# 2.3.4 Kyle# 2.3.5 Chef# 3. Fun stuff
# 3.1 Famous South Park quotes# 3.2 How Kenny dies in each episode
# 3.2.1 The one episode where Kenny doesn't die# 3.3 Cameo appearances
4. Last words} 4.1 Credits} 4.1.1 FAQ distributors} 4.2 Links
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[0] Disclaimer
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
This document may be distributed freely, give it to all your friends, upload
it to your website, etc., As long as you DON'T make ANY ALTERATIONS to it
whatsoever without written permission from the writer (Mike Howg). Also,
this document may NOT be sold for money. If you see someone trying to sell
this FAQ then contact me and I will send it to you for FREE. I would also
like to point out that I am in NO WAY affiliated with Comedy Central or the
creators of South Park. This is an UNOFFICIAL South Park FAQ and is not the
property of Comedy Central or the creators of South Park. This document was
written by and is the sole property of Mike Howg. All copyrighted names
belong to their respective owners.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1] Introduction
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1.1] Author profile--------------------
If any of you are interested, then here is my profile. I tried to
make it as interesting as possible. Name: Mike Howg Birthdate: June 22,
1981
Current Age: 16 Sex: Male E-mail: [email]
Website: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/bushx/
Hobbies: Internet, HTML programming, graphics design, and playing guitar
[1.2] How to contact the author-------------------------------
Even though I spend a lot of time on this FAQ, my website, and
making graphics, it shouldn't be too hard to get a hold of me. So, if you
have any comments, suggestions, or just feel like writing then this is how
to contact me: Snailmail: Mike Howg Box 1832 Enchant, Alberta Canada
T0K 0V0 E-mail: [email] ICQ: I haven't got a number yet
[1.3] The story behind the FAQ------------------------------
I got the idea to do a FAQ on South Park right after I first seen
the show. It just took me this long to make it because I was hard at work on
making my South Park website. After hours of looking at other various FAQ's,
I had come up with a basic design for this one. What you see before you is
what I came up with. South Park is such a GREAT show that I decided to make
up a FAQ about everything from how the show got created to how Kenny gets
killed every episode. I just thought it would be kind of a fun idea to try
and make something that lots of South Park fans will read time and time
again because with this FAQ, you never know what you're going to get. The
purpose of this South Park FAQ is to inform you with EVERYTHING about the
show and entertain you at the same time. What I would like to do is get all
the people with South Park sites to distribute this FAQ so that nobody
missed out on all it's goodness. Well, that's about it for how and why I
started making this FAQ. [1.4] How to get this FAQ-------------------------
SEE SECTION [4.1.1] FOR THE FAQ DISTRIBUTORS
[1.4.1] WEBPAGE OWNERS PLEASE READ
THIS!----------------------------------------
If you have your OWN South Park website and would like to post my
FAQ on it, please send me an e-mail ([email]) with the following
information: Your REAL name: Your e-mail address: Your website URL:
Where you heard about this FAQ:
After I receive your information, you will get an e-mail reply from
me that'll most likely give you permission to distribute this FAQ on your
website. If not, then I have a REALLY good reason. PLEASE tell me before you
post this FAQ on your website. If you don't, then I won't be able to e-mail
you with the new versions.[1.4.2] Contributing to this FAQ
--------------------------------
I strongly encourage you to contribute any information to this FAQ
that I may have missed or just don't know. For contributing, you will be
credited by having your name/alias, e-mail address, and website URL posted
in the credits section of this FAQ. NOTE: You don't have to have a South
Park site to contribute to this FAQ.[1.4.3] How to get your link on this FAQ
----------------------------------------
If you have your OWN South Park website then you can e-mail me
([email]) with your name, your site's name, and your site's URL. I
will
then review it to see if it's good enough to be on the FAQ. I would like to
have EVERYONE'S site posted on here but that would take up too much space so
I am limiting it to just the sites that I feel are the best of the best.
[1.5] Revision History----------------------[1.5.1] What's NEW in this
version
----------------------------------
This is version 0.2 of the South Park FAQ (second edition) and here
is everything that's NEW since the last version. -Added more character
profiles
-Finished the Episode Guide for the first season
-Added people to the credits section -Added a quotes section
-Added some FAQ distributors -Added a Fun stuff section
-Lots more NEW stuff but I don't have the time to write it all
[1.5.2] Revision history list-----------------------------
Version 0.1: First edition of the FAQ. I talked to a few major South Park
webmasters to distribute this FAQ.
Version 0.2: I've added a lot of new sections to the FAQ and finished some
of the sections that I didn't in version 0.1
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[2] The basic history of South Park
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[2.1] What is South Park?-------------------------
South Park is a cartoon show that was created by Matt Stone and Trey
Parker. The first ever South Park episode was called The Spirit of Christmas
and it was originally intended to be a video Christmas card for some
friends.
It has now turned into a VERY popular and funny television show on Comedy
Central. Even though The Spirit of Christmas episode wasn't released on
television, many people have downloaded it off the Internet. It's probably
one of the most popular downloads on the web for all you South Park fans.
The episode is only a few minutes long but it's very funny (WARNING! This
episode of South Park has very graphic language and is not intended for any
of you young kids out there).
The show isn't like any other animated cartoon. It doesn't use the
traditional methods of animation. Characters look like flat pieces of
cardboard that sort of slide across your tv screen when they walk. It isn't
the most expensive cartoon ever made but it's sure as hell the funniest.
Matt Stone and Trey Parker do the voices for the characters in South Park
and they also do a lot of the music. There have also been quite a few cameo
appearences [see section 3.3] by celebrities in South Park. Although, if you
read the disclaimer at the start of the show it says that "All celebrity
voices are imersonated...badly". Don't let that get you down though, because
the show is still FUNNY AS HELL.[2.1.1] Is South Park going to be canelled?
-------------------------------------------
From what I hear, South Park is the most watched show that Comedy
Central has ever aired. It is making them lots and lots of money. Therefore,
I highly doubt that Comedy Central is going to cancel their most watched
show. In my opinion, if parents complain that thier children are being
subjected to offensive language, THEN DON'T LET THEM WATCH IT! Don't make
everyone else suffer by having the show cancelled. As far as I know, there
will be at least one more season (if not more) and there will also be a
movie coming out sometime this year so don't let all these rumors of South
Park being canelled get you down.[2.2] Episode guide-------------------
[2.2.1] The Spirit Of Christmas (the original)
----------------------------------------------
This is the episode that started it all. It starts with Kyle, Kenny,
and Cartman making a snowman. Stan then warns them not to put a hat on it
because it will turn into Frosty and kill everyone. Of course they don't
listen and they put the hat on it. Frosty comes to life and kills Cartman
and
Kenny. Jesus then comes and kills Frosty to save the day. The kids learn a
very important moral, Christmas is about presents.
[2.2.2] The Spirit Of Christmas (the sequel)
--------------------------------------------
This is the sequel to the first The Spirit Of Christmas Episode. It
pits Jesus against Santa Claus.[2.2.3] First Season Episodes
-----------------------------Episode 1: CARTMAN GET'S AN ANAL PROBE
In this episode, Cartman explains to his friends that he had a dream
about seeing a light, then being dragged down a hallway and having some
aliens want to operate on him. His friends say that it wasn't a dream and
that it really happened but Cartman didn't believe them. Later in the show
Cartman finds out that it really did happen.Episode 2: WEIGHT GAIN 4000
It all started when Cartman won an essay contest was going to be on
TV with Kathy Lee Gifford because of it. After Mr. Garison found out Kathy
Lee was coming to town, he relived some childhood memories of her beating
him in a talent show. Ever since then he has always wanted to kill her. Now
was his chance. When Kathy Lee arrives in South Park, Mr. Garison gets ready
to do some killin'.Episode 3: VOLCANO
It starts with Ned, Jimbo, and the boys all going on a
camping/hunting trip. When they arrive in the woods, they're all having a
good time until a volcano erupts. Everyone in South Park struggles to save
their town and the people on the mountain.Episode 4: BIG GAY AL'S BOAT RIDE
Stan get's a dog named Sparky and then eventually finds out he is
gay. Sparky then runs away after being teased and ridiculed. While running
away, Sparky stumbled upon Big Gay Al and learns some things about being
gay.
Episode 5: AN ELEPHANT MAKES LOVE TO A PIG Stan's mutant twin is revealed.
Episode 6: DEATH
While trying to kill Stan's grandfather, they summon the Grim Reaper
and he goes around trying to kill Kenny. He succeeds.Episode 7: PINK EYE
The Mad Splicer accidentally creates a zombie that goes around South
Park biting everyone and turning them into zombies as well. The doctor in
South Park just thinks that it's a case of Pink Eye and he doesn't realize
that they are actually zombies. The only people who can save South Park
are...gee I wonder.Episode 8: JESUS vs. SATAN
A new student by the name of Damien comes to South Park. But, what
the people don't realize is that Damien is actually the son of Satan. Also
during this episode, Cartman has a birthday party and tells everyone what
gifts they HAVE to bring him or else they can't come. Meanwhile, Damien
calls
his father (Satan) and now Jesus and Satan must battle it out in the ring.
Episode 9: STARVIN MARVIN
The boys send away for a sports watch but instead they get a starving
Etherinopian, which they call Starvin Marvin. When the secret service comes
to take Starvin Marvin away, they accidentally take Cartman instead. Now,
Cartman must survive in Marvin's homeland until he can find food or until
someone can rescue him.Episode 10: A SOUTH PARK CHRISTMAS
Kyle's musical pal Mr. Hankey shows up to South Park to make it a
memorable Christmas.Episode 11: TOM'S RHINOPLASTY
Mr. Garison decides to miss school one day and get some plastic
surgery at Tom's Rhinoplasty. Filling in at the school for Mr. Garison is a
lesbian substitute teacher that goes by the name of Miss Ellen. Meanwhile,
After the surgery, Mr. Garison looks like David Hasslehoff and is so
confident with his looks that he quits his teaching job and Miss Ellen is
his
permanent replacement. And now, Wendy thinks that Miss Ellen is trying to
steal Stan from him.Episode 12: MECCA STREISAND
Stan finds an ancient triangle that holds great powers but he doesn't
realize it because he gives the triangle to Cartman. Then, Barbara Streisand
finds out about their discovery because she has the other half of the
triangle. She then goes to South Park, kidnaps the children, and steals the
second half of this triangle. When she puts them together, she turns into
Mecca Streisand. Only one person can stop her.
Episode 13: CARTMAN'S MOM IS A DIRTY SLUT
Cartman has been acting a little strange lately and no one knows why
so his friends talk to a phsyciatrist and find out that it could be because
Cartman doesn't know who his father is. Then, Cartman goes around South
Park,
asking everyone if they're his father. But, it could be anyone, so Cartman
decides to get the Mad Splicer to give everyone in South Park a DNA test.
[2.2.4] Specials----------------JAY LENO:
Jay Leno goes to South Park to talk to the children about what
Thanksgiving means to them but everyone makes fun of his chin. At the end,
he
reveals a secret compartment in his chin that has a helicopter in it.NEW
YEARS:
The South Park cast counts down to 1998.[2.3] The characters
--------------------[2.3.1] Eric Cartman--------------------
Name: Eric Cartman Birthplace: South Park Fav. Food: Cheesy Poofs
Fav. Saying: "I'm not fat, i'm big boned"
Cartman is the "fat-ass" on South Park. He is constantly being ridiculed by
his friends for being so fat. All he ever does is order his mom around to
bring him food. Eric has a very short temper and gets pissed off over almost
everything. He earned his fame by getting an anal probe by a couple of
visitors. Cartman is still searching to find out who his father really is.
Like all the other people in South Park, Cartman has no respect for anyone
or anything.[2.3.2] Kenny------------- Name: Kenny McCormick
Birthplace: South Park Fav. Food: Anything he can afford
Fav. Saying: "MMMfff, mmmmmfffff, mmmff"
Kenny isn't like any ordinary person in South Park. For one thing he dies
every damn episode except for that one time. Another thing, Kenny's family
is very, very poor and everyone knows it. They always make fun of him for
being so poor. I mean, WOW Kenny is just so POOR. He can't even afford food
because he's so DAMN POOR. Okay, I think you get the idea that Kenny is
poor. In every episode, Kenny wears his trademark, orange pull-over which
muffles every single word he says. It is rumored that when you play Kenny's
voice backwards, it reveales satanic messages. Wouldn't it be cool if that
was true. [2.3.3] Stan------------ Name: Stan Marsh Birthplace: South Park
Fav. Food: Who knows.. Fav. Saying: "Kick the baby"
Stan is kind of a chick-magnet. He is the only one out of all the children
on
South Park that has a girl who likes him. She goes by the nameof Wendy. One
of his downfalls is that he pukes whenever she talks to him. Let's just say,
Stan does a lot of pukin'. Stan also has a baby brother named Ike, which he
likes to kick around quite a bit. [2.3.4] Kyle------------
Name: Kyle Broslofski Birthplace: South Park Fav. Food: Who knows..
Fav. Saying: "Oh my god, they killed Kenny, YOU BASTARDS"
Kyle is the outdoors kind of guy. He has an uncle named Jimbo who just loves
to hunt with BIG guns. Kyle wears his tradmark Elmer Fudd type hat which
looks kind of dorky. He is also the guy that says "Oh my god, they killed
Kenny" every episode. Well, there's not much to say about Kyle because he's
kind of a boring character.[2.3.5] Chef------------ Name: Chef
Birthplace: Who knows.. Fav. Food: Women
Fav. Saying: "Hi children, how are you today"
Chef is the school's Chef. He's most famous for singing his love songs on
almost every episode. The most important thing in Chef's life is sex, lots
and lots of sex. He'll have sex with any woman in South Park. Chef is also
the one who always gets the children out of trouble and sometimes saves
their
lives.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
[3] Fun stuff
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
[3.1] Famous South Park quotes------------------------------
Here are some of the most common South Park quotes you will ever hear on the
tv show. These are ones that appear almost every episode. I just have to add
that a lot of these quotes are F**KING funny.
Cartman: "I'm not fat, i'm big boned" Stan: "Kick the baby"
Kyle: "Oh my god, they killed Kenny, YOU BASTARDS"
Kenny: "MMMfff, Mmmfff, MMff" Chef: "Hi children, how are you today?"
Jimbo: "It's coming right for us" Terrence: "I farted" Philip: "I farted"
Cartman: "No kitty, that's mine" Stan: "Shut up fat-ass"
[3.2] How Kenny dies in each episode------------------------------------
Every time I tune in to South Park, I anxiously await the Death of Kenny.
The
reason I say that is because you never know how Kenny is going to die in
each
episode. Because of my addiction to Kenny's many deaths, I have made this
section in which it tells you how Kenny died on each episode of South Park.
The Spirit of Christmas (the original): Killed by Frosty
The Spirit of Christmas (the sequel): Decapitated by Santa
Episode 1: Kenny gets shot by an alien spacecraft, trampled by cows,
and ran over by a police car.
Episode 2: Kenny gets shot by Mr. Garison in a failed attempt to kill
Kathy Lee Gifford. After getting shot he lands on a flag
pole and slowly slides down.
Episode 3: A big ball of lava falls in front of Kenny and then rolls
over and crushes him to death. Episode 4: Killed on the football field.
Episode 5: Microwaved Episode 6: Gets touched by the Grim Reaper.
Episode 7: Crushed by Mir, cut in half with a chainsaw by Kyle, and
squished by a statue.
Episode 8: Turned into a rare duck-billed platypus and shot by Jimbo.
Episode 9: Eaten by wild turkeys. Episode 10: KENNY LIVES!!!!!!
Episode 11: Stabbed by Miss Ellen.
Episode 12: Get's strangled by a tetherball rope.
Episode 13: Gets hit by a train and to top it all off he gets
videotaped being hit by a train and it's shown on national TV.
Jay Leno Special: Killed by Jay Leno's chin
New Years Special: Killed by the number 7 in the 1997.
[3.2.1] The one episode where Kenny doesn't die
-----------------------------------------------
I know what you're thinking, "but Kenny ALWAYS dies in every episode". Well,
I have news for you. There was ONE episode that Kenny didn't die in. This
was
a monumental day in South Park history when they actually made an episode
without killing poor Kenny. It was Episode 10 (A South Park Christmas) where
Kenny doesn't die. I guess Matt and Trey had a weak heart and didn't want to
kill him in the Christmas episode.[3.3] Cameo
appearances-----------------------
There have been some really good cameo appearances by celebrities on some of
the South Park episodes and i'm hear to tell you about them. If you read the
disclaimer at the start of the show though, it says that all celebrity
voices
are impersonated...badly. It's still fuckin' funny though.
Kathy Lee Gifford: She appears in the second episode to congratulate
Cartman for winning an essay contest on national television.
Geraldo Rivera: He also appears in the second episode at the end.
Geraldo was doing a story on obesity (some people
like to call it, being a big fat-ass) and Cartman
was, naturally, perfect for the show.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
[4] Last words
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
[4.1] Credits-------------
This entire document was written by Mike Howg and is the sole property of
him (me). Do not copy, manipulate, or steal this FAQ without my written
permission. In NO way should you charge money for this FAQ.
We also can't forget the people that helped me in making this FAQ a lot
better and the people that brought us the wonderful show known as South
Park.
Here are all the people that I owe credit to:
- MATT STONE AND TREY PARKER <e-mail unknown> They created this funny tv
show. Without them, this FAQ would never have
came to be.
- COMEDY CENTRAL <e-mail unknown> We all owe a lot of thanks to Comedy
Central for bringing this show to the
public.
- MIKE HOWG Come on, i've got to give myself credit.
[4.1.1] FAQ distributors------------------------
These are the people that make it possible for you to get this FAQ.
They deserve a lot of credit because if it weren't for them, then the South
Park FAQ wouldn't be able to be seen by all of you people. Well, here they
are in no particular order: Name: Mike Howg E-mail: [email]
Website: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/bushx/
Website Name: Cartman's Chronicles
Comments: This is my South Park website. I don't mean to brag
or anything but this site KICKS ASS!! Name: Vin Casale
E-mail: [email] Website: http://mrhat.simplenet.com
Website Name: Mr. Hat's Hell Hole
Comments: This is one of THE BEST South Park sites I have seen
on the Internet. Name: Unknown E-mail: [email]
Website: http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/7079/
Website Name: North Park
Comments: Very nice site with LOTS of links to other South Park
site on the Internet. [4.2] Links-----------
IF YOU WANT YOUR LINK HERE THEN SEE SECTION [1.4.3]
These are links to sites that I feel deserve to be mentioned on this FAQ.
The sites that are linked here are TOP QUALITY South Park sites.
"MR. HAT'S HELL HOLE" http://mrhat.simplenet.com
This is one of the BEST South Park sites on the Internet. "North Park"
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/7079/
This site has hundred's of links to other South Park sites.
"Cartman's Chronicles" http://www.telusplanet.net/public/bushx/
Well, this is my own website. It has lots of original South Park content.
============================================================================
=
It's pretty outdated. You should (if you want to make the effort) probably update it with some of the newwer stuff that's been pissing off the Regulars (i.e. Words to "kyle's mom is a bitch" song and what Kenny says in each episode).
I've been on the IRC channel (alt.tv.southpark) and a few of the regs were there. We figure that the original FAQ has gone the way of all things So, If no-one objects I'd like to start a new one (Maybe based around Vin from the Hell_hole's) I'll post my prototype under FAQ(Covenant) soon, with Headers for subjects only, then if there is anything I've missed You can suggest!
Then once it is up I'll be relying on y'all to post me corrections or omissions.. K? Cheers guys! (I love you guys.... screw you guys!)
Covenant. A Man With Far Too Much Time On His Hands