"Tit-antic"
�=...
[Scene: the boyz are sittin' on cartman's sofa watching Titanic]
Cartman: that sucked ass!
Stan: yeah, but dude, that woman had massive breasts (or tits, whatever fits)
Kenny: mplh mnlphlph (yeah, but so has Cartman!)
[Boys laugh in unison]
Cartman: Ay! * Beep * off you hippie bastards, go home and protest against your hippie rights crap!
Kyle: Dude! Calm.
[They go outside�as they're leaving]
Cartman's mom: Eric honey�
Cartman: ER�yes mom?
Cartman's mom: don't forget your beanie * hat *
[Kenny bursts out, Kyle + Stan join in the laughter]
Stan: yeah, Cartman don't forget your nappies neither.
[Boys continue their giggling as they leave Cartman's house� New scene: bus stop, waiting to go to school (rather obviously) J]
Kenny: mlpphmlnphnnlp-mnhlph (?)
Cartman: shut up Kenny, or I'll whoop your ass�
Kenny: mlkhplmhasslppkmhn (?)
Cartman: Ay! That does it, come 'ere
[Chases Kenny into the road�Bus ploughs through the snow and fog can see the basic outline and vivid headlights�Kenny heads straight at it�Cartman follows-tense scene ensues (in slo-mo)]
Kenny: mlhh�hlmmmpaash�. Bleugghh (arrgghh! Fuck, damn you Cartman {in slo-mo} you fat assed gimboid)
Cartman: Hurry�up Kenny�I gonna make you � dead meat!!! {In slo-mo}
Kyle: Dude, surreal! ________________________________Part 2________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------
[Bus still heading towards them {still in slo-mo}, much closer now, Cartman starts to dive out of the way]
Cartman: come 'ere Kenny you dumbass {slo-mo until said otherwise}
Kenny: mplhlpljhanl{tits, breasts,Ooh, vagina, AAARRRGGGHH!!!}
[Bus hits into Kenny, sends Kenny hurtling into a pine tree]
Stan: Oh, my god! They killed Kenny!!!
Kyle: You bastards!!
Cartman: Oh, well, let's go watch titanic again (changed his mind due to seeing Kenny's death-actually due to everyone who commented saying this is unlike him�to these ppl I'm sorry-but now I've realised what you all meant-and have specified to the ng-via a response to Dave's post)
Kyle: shut up Cartman that was a crap film-I AM NOT LISTENING TO CELINE DION�.AGAIN?!?
Cartman: Oh, ok� what 'sat noise�[cut to pine tree rustle]�and MISS. Dion�is not crap-she's just alternative
[Stan-is elsewhere- namely by the tree]
[Tree rustles again]
Stan: DUDE! Kenny's not dead
Cartman: Huh?
Stan: Kenny isn't dead!!!!!
Kyle: Oh, my god, you bast- Oh, no, wait that's a good thing.
Kenny: mlhpllhm (anyone's guess as to what he's saying there)
Stan: quick get him down�Cartman, see if you can reach.
Cartman: Ay! I'm not THAT fat-I'm just the child that keeps the big clothes in stock (sorry 'bout that, ran out of things to say)
Stan: CARTMAN�I meant tall you dumbass motherf**ker (consider that<grin>!!)
Cartman: OH, right I knew that; I was testin' you, yeah, testin' you <under his breath whispers>�that's right Eric, no-one noticed�
[Manage to get Kenny down (due to lack of my interest-Hey, I'm waitin' to know what happens too!) from tree, dragging him along one of the boys (undecided which) suggests going to see chef.]
Boys: Hey, chef (in unison)
Chef: hello, children[turns from deep fat fryer] what can I do you for!
Kyle: we need you to tell us what to do�y'see Kenny got hit by a bus, and he didn't die.
Chef: Oh, so that's not a fox's corpse there in your hand��<whispers to self>that's it there we are gently does it [while watching the fryer]�..Okay then, first off, have you taken him to the casualty dep?
Stan: Er�No, should we do that?
Chef: by the look of things your too late for that kind of treatment, you'll need to go and see a Tibetan monk by the name of�come to think of it, he was vowing silence when I saw him, Oh, children forget that I don't know his name�.[long pause to signify chef thinking]�but I know his solituded/secluded wife�her name? Oh, just call for MRS. Dalai Lama�
[Pondering]
Cartman: you want us to go around the zoo's looking for a big female sheep type creature, you hippies have cracked.
Stan & Kyle: sssh! Dumbass-go learn something out of Mr. Garrison's text book (shut up was becoming repetitive)
Chef: no, no, no, kids� I mean the head monk of Tibet, I used to know a song about him.
Kyle: Er�chef, no time for that.
Chef: OK,OK!! I know I'll get to work on a plan�and some salty chocolate balls for your journey (haven't seen the relevant EP so am going pretty much blind there)
_________________________________PART 3_____________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------
[New scene-Ferry port, Stan and Kyle, have bags packed full with gear for the cold�Cartman, walks on to the screen, with a tiny back pack, and some sunglasses]
Cartman: Ay! Hippies, ready to go for a holiday
Stan: you fatass�we're going to search for a cure for Kenny�AND we're NOT going to somewhere warm�
Kyle: yeah, Cartman�what'd you pack a swimsuit for your bikini line to been shown off[cringes at thought]
[Both laugh]
Cartman: Ay! You little bastard-I'm not giving you any of my snacky cake no-more
Kyle: Cartman, you weren't gonna give us any, anyway�FATASS
Cartman: BUTTLICKER!!
Stan: Dude, look there's our Ferry�no.7 on platform�7, whoh, man, spooky(?)
Officer Barbrady: well, hello, can I see your passport please?
Kyle: BarBrady?���.Oh, Yeah, here you go!!
Barbrady: Erm�I'm sorry little boy, but you need an adult to go away.
Stan: Oh, ok���.UNCLE JIMBO(it he stan's or Kyle's?)
Jimbo: come on, Ned you'll have to leave the RA7H34 sub machine gun�It won't fit in the trunk
Ned: DO FERRYS HAVE TRUNKS?????
[long pause change of scene, they're now onboard the ferry]
Cartman: I'm sailing away, to an open(the song�imagine it)
Kyle: No, Shut up Cartman!!
Cartman: Oh, I get it, you just don't want me exercising my talent�
Kyle: what as, an asshole?
Cartman: Ay!�slips off into a coma like state of sub-conscious[starts dreaming] No, get away[starts to twitch], I don't want no pole up my ass�NNNNOOOOO!!!
Kyle: Cartman, CARTMAN�WAKE THE FUCK UP!!
Cartman: muhu[waking up noise], no, nothing's wrong with me it's all you and your drugged up hippy mind.
Kyle: hey!!-where's stan, shouldn't he be here with us�
Cartman: he's with jimbo and ned, probably watching them play paintball with Ike�
Kyle: 2 things cartman�1) jimbo and ned DON'T play PAINTBALL, 2) Ike isn't here dumbass.
Cartman: Oh, never mind�.Oh, look here he comes�[kyle butts in]
Kyle: where? I don't see him turns back to cartman] cartman you're a dum�Cartman? Cartman? The assmaster, probably off getting his face fed by some fat ole' woman!
[new scene. Cartman, Stan, Jimbo & ned all below deck, zooms in from behind, shows their hands tied together by steel chains( could tell they're steel because there was a little tag stating there were steel bits) and then zooms backwards , outwards until there is a face covered partly by shadow�It's miss Ellen]
Cartman:[comes round] whoh, Miss Ellen�what'da you doin' here?
Stan: shut up dude! She'll slap you�
Cartman: Stan is that you? I still can't see round corners, why did those mirror sunglasses never come?
[skips to southern Yemen, where there are two arab people standing tugging at a parcel�says Kyle Broslovski on it]
Cartman: Oh�
Miss Ellen: Hello, Kyle How are you? Hmm?
Cartman: OH, I'm fine Miss Ellen�[gets slapped round face]
Miss ellen: shut up you little bastard.
Stan: AARRGGHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not again, leave me alone you psycho bitch!!
Miss Ellen: well now you're all here, I can explain my evil plan like a good person would.
Stan: Er�Miss Ellen, you just contridicted yourself, y'see if you've kidnapped us then by societys default you're bad�so you're not a good person�
Miss ellen: SSSHHHUUUTTT UP!!
Jimbo: Ned, can, you get at you're pistol?
Ned, NO!
Miss Ellen: y'see I've been framed AGAIN and the arabians are after me�So I called in some back up, Meet Damien.
Cartman: Er�Dude, we've met!!
Stan: what is it collection day for stoopid chumps lookin' take over the world!
Damien: I'm not bent on taking over the world, Just south park!!
Stan: Oh�K(ok), how about you let us go?
Cartman: Don't listen to that traitor Miss Ellen I still love you�wow! I really said it! OH-Ho!
Stan: Oh, that's good, Ooh here she comes, FUCK,NO?!?
[knocks stan out�when stan comes round cartman has Damien and Miss Ellen lying on the floor]
Stan: whoh, Cartman, you kicked ass? Why?
Cartman: they wouldn't get me my cheezy poofs!
[ponders, shrugs]
Stan: yeah, but then you freed me? Again, why?
Cartman: you had the keys to my snack box in your room! NOW hand them over, you hippy
[ahhhh, cartman, saved stan�how sweeet!!]
Stan: have it fatass, where are jimbo and ned?
Cartman: they took off in a dinghy! Saying something about psychopaths not being their kind of people! (well, I had to get rid of them, I feel the bit with miss ellen made it deteriorate)
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" the lord awaits " " awaits what? " " his daily RUB DOWN "-me in all my wickedness!! " Kick My *BUCKET* " " Very shagadelic...it's not mine, baby, honest. ....someones playin' a prank on me[!] " __________________________________________________