"Blubber the Rainbow" by Xebot, 6/29/99 [email]
BIG GAY AL: Hello, everybody! It's just super that you showed up! I'm so happy you could attend! And you're such a wonderful looking audience, aren't you? We have a really super show for you tonight!
I'd like to introduce you to our first performer, and our latest turner!
CARTMAN: I'M NOT GAY! I'm just doing this for the cheesy-poofs!
BIG GAY AL: Oh, you'll find plenty of poofters here tonight, we have half the Canadian army! Take a bow, you super guys!
[TERRENCE AND PHILLIP STAND UP AND FART.]
Wasn't that SUPER?! Well, let's give a super round of applause to little Eric Cartman, and HIS version of "Over the Rainbow"!
CARTMAN: [SINGING TO "OVER THE RAINBOW".] Somewhere over the rainbow Hippies wail There's a hippie that survived 'Cause he did not inhale
BIG GAY AL: Is this, like, political or something?
CARTMAN: [SINGING] Somewhere over the rainbow Skies are blue And the trees that you dare to hug Fall on top of you!
BIG GAY AL: I don't know if this is so "super"?
CARTMAN: [PUTS ON DARK GLASSES, A VAN DYKE GOATEE (LIKE NED), AND A SHIRT THAT SAYS "HOWL!" BENEATH A PICTURE OF MAYNERD G. CREBS (JOHN DENVER FROM "DOBIE GILLIS"). HE SPEAKS LIKE A 50'S BEATNIK] Hey, daddy-o, you got a bee in your bop or you jes jivin' the Cart-Man? Get hip or B-A-Pip, drip! You diggin' what the Man-Cart has to say, or is you jes' makin' like a fixed reference point of the U.S. Geodetical Survey and Analysis Department, Washington, D.C., and NOT ... uh, moving?
BIG GAY AL: Oh, I get it! This is some kind of "retro" thing, like poetry night at Starbuck's! How sweeet!
CARTMAN: Don't snag my line, daddy-o! Only the Man-Cart does the "sweet" gig, you dig?
BIG GAY AL: So sorry! Please finish your super song.
CARTMAN: [SINGING] Some day I'll play the lottery And win back what Mexicans stole from me
BIG GAY AL: That doesn't sound "retro".
CARTMAN: Yer draggin' me, pops! Make like a '52 Chevy convertible with wide-brim mags and a '56 block ... and ... uh, don't talk.
CARTMAN: [SINGING] Where troubles melt like cheesy-poofs Into larger cheesy-poofs That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow Hippies die Cops can beat hippies senseless Why then, oh why can't I?