MAJOR RANT

Well here is my rant and ratings on every sp ep out there. Share your opinons too. The first couple are just plot descriptions but then in gets more into rants as in moves on.

1. Cartman Gets An Anal Probe When Ike is taken hostage by Visitors Kyle races to get him back but realizes that the only way to ever see his brother again is through Cartmans Fat Ass. As confusion grows Kenny is killed by the visitors. Cow Mutilation begins and the remaining cows run off followed by Barbrady. Meenwhile, Stan plans a romantic day with Wendy but it is cut short when Kyle rushes them out on the search for Ike. As the tension builds and night falls the kids come face to face with the visitors and Kyle fights for his little brother, will he win?

Rating (Out Of 5) 4

Weight Gain 4000 Stan and Kyle suspect fowl play when Cartman wins an award for an essay and Kathy Lee Gifford is scheduled to come to town to present it to him. But someone in South Park is out for revenge on Kathy Lee Gifford. So much revenge that an assasination is planned. While trying to find evidence to Cartmans cheating Stan and Wendy come across the plans to kill Kathy Lee. Now they are the only ones who can stop it and they have little time. Rating 2 1/2

Volcano Jimbo and Ned are taking the kids on a hunting trip in the forest. ust an average everyday trip, Right?. Wrong! See it turns out the mountian isn't really a mountain... It's a volcano and its about to erupt. Not only that but Cartman has gone missing and they are being stalked by Scuzzlebutt the prehistoric monster that lives on top of the mountain. The are trapped on the mountain and only the townspeople can save them. Will they get off alive? Rating 3

Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride It's that time of the year, time for the big football game and Stan is head quarterback, but he is having major problems. His new dog Sparky turns out to be gay and when he rejects Sparky, The dog runs off to (Title). Its the day of the game and Stan has to choose between finding his dog or being the town hero. Rating 3 1/2

An Elephant Makes Love to A Pig Basically title says it all. Oh and there are bets, clones and abusive family members involved. Rating 3

Damien Its Cartmans birthday and the hottest ticket around is an invitation to his party. (Well except maybe for one other ticket but I;ll get into that later) Pip of course doesn't get a invitation but he does befriend the new child in class. Damien the son of Satan. And about that other ticket it seems that Jesus got himself into a fight with the dark ruler himself, and the boxing match is set up for the same day as Cartmans birthday. Now the kids don't know if they should go to the apocaliptic battle of the century or Cartmans birthday. Rating 2

Death Its not a great episode, the plots boring the charictors are worn out and its all together crap. But what takes this episode from a rating of one to 3 and a half are 3 little charictors. Terrence, Phillip and Grandpa. Each of them with originality and great comedy. While Grandpa only shows up once later Terrence and Philip live on to become major charictors. The plot goes that while the parents go off to fight to get T and P off the air Grandpa tries to get the boys to kill him.. Midway through death himself comes up to terrorize the boys. Rating 3 1/2

Pink Eye I love Halloween. Shaving cream, candy and TV specials. I love driving up to a nearby town every october 29th and waiting on line to get into the scariest fucking haunted house of all time. I love getting all my friends over and watching Halloween, Scream and Friday the 13th back to back starting at 12. I love everything about Halloween. I love scary stories and I especially like this episode of South Park. Halloween is threatened by the outbreak of zombies but the kids want there fucking candy and stop at nothing until they get it. This episode basically just kicks ass! Rating 4

Starvin' Marvin Starvin Marvin is not a great achievment it is smack in the middle of two of the best. But it itself is nothing great. Sally Struthers is funny but the rest of the ep is kind of bland. Eh. Rating 2 1/2

Mr. Hankey I remember sitting down and turning on my TV that night. When I got up and turned it off I had changed. Mr. Hanky had warped my fragile mind. The episode was so out there and histerical that I am confident it calling it my favorite Episode of any show ever on TV. I didn't stop laughing the whole time. From the songs to the plot to Mr. Hanky everything is dead on in this episode. I'm still laughing. Though they tried to bring him back again and again nothing is more classic than this one unexpected episode. When Kyle is feeling alone at chrismas time he gets help from a special friend but is ended up being put away in an instutution because of it. Rating 5

Tom's Rhinoplasty The new substitute threatens Stan and Wendys relationship and Mr. Garrison gets a nose job. The monage of barph scenes is the episodes highlight and it really is a medium episode. Rating 2 1/2

MechaStreisand This episode is a fan favorite. I'm a fan but its not my favorite, actually its my least favorite. Bland and boring, I get the godzilla thing I just don't find it funny. Points for the roshambo idea. Rating 1 1/2

Cartman's Mom Is A Dirty Slut A season ending cliffhanger, who is Cartmans dad. Everyone wanted to know... Except for me. I watch southpark for the laughs and the plot but I new Matt and Trey to well. I knew what they would do I had it all figured out. I new they would let us down and then bring us back up again and one week later I sat bored to death in science class I went to the back of the notebook and scribbled down on the page, "I bet Cartmans dad is his mom" and only time told how right I was. In the comedy though this ep is strong and great and a nice relief from Mecha Striesand. Rating 4

Season 2 Not Without My Anus Ahhhhhh, the bitter smell of difeat. In this half hour of time the empire of fans south park built up painfully collapsed. Anger arose with fans awaiting the answer to the question "Who is Cartmans dad?" Ratings dropped and hate mail poured into CC's offices. Everyone hated southpark. Everyone hated Terrence and Phillip. Everyone hated the episode. As for me, I liked Southpark, I liked Terrence And Phillip, and I like the episode Rating 3

Cartman's Mom is Still A Dirty Slut All right you stingy bitches heres your answer. There its exciting, Oh boy. Why didn't you just read my fucking science journal. Of course the jokes were great as always. Especialy the Group B part. And then there is the fact that this was half of Southpark fans last episode. Why? Cause they found out who the father was. Big Shit. Rating 3 1/2

Chicken Lover Putting those three episodes behind was the hardest thing a southpark fan could ever do. Only true fans survived past it. To help Matt and Trey gave Chickenlover. Original and Funny. Cartman becomes a cop when someone in town starts fucking chickens. Sounds stupid but its fucking funny. Period. Rating 4

Ike's Wee-Wee A fan favorite. I like it but not that much. Mr. Mack is fired, married, put in rehave and hired all in one episode and thats only the subplot! Ike is going to have his "Wee-Wee" cut off and Kyle is trying to stop it. A secret comes out in it but the scene that I find histerical is when Stan sees Kyles parents as monsters trying to cut off his Wee-Wee. Cartman and the word Fireman have some funny context to. Rating 3

Conjointed Fetus Lady I don't feel like ranting this one. Rating 2

Mexican Staring Frog of Sri Lanka Don't feel like ranting this either. Springer parody is funny plus we get to see Saddam and Satan as a couple a year before the movie Rating 3

City on the Edge Forever A clip show with a twist. Maybe the best ep of seson 2. Its classic. The ice cream idea is great and it really shows what all those "I'm quiting caz of Cartmans Dad" are missing. A deeper look at Ms. Crabtree is great but I just love the school bus plot. The Song was great and I really like almost everything about this episode. Its great. Not Mr. Hanky but I still love it! Rating 4 1/2

Summer Sucks This is an episode with one two many plots. It gets confusing after a while. Yet how could you not laugh at Cartmans plot. I only know Doggy Style. Its an okay ep but nothing special Rating 3

Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls And Mr. Hanky returns. I sware if he had died I would have cried. (Not really but I would have been kind of sad) This ep had one classic scene, The Mr. Hanky Movie. Come on, Tom Hanks and a talking ap thats funny!.... LAUGH... LAUGH GOD DAM YOU. Mr. Hanky was good but as I said in my christmas review nothing compares to that first time down the tiolet. Rating 3 1/2

Chickenpox I don't like this episode. Don't get me wrong it was funny but I have a story to tell with it. I saw this while on vacation in Virginia Beach at the end of last summer. If anyone recalls the end of last summer in Virginia Beach was not a happy one hurricane-wise. I'm talking about Hurricane Bonnie. The night after Chickenpox we were hit very hard. The people in the room above ares window blew in. It was fucking scary. Are car was hit by the wind. Two windows blew in and it was dented all over. We had to rent a car and drive it home. The experience sucked cock but in terms of an episode it was okay. Rating 3

Planetarium Plane-arium is a mildly funny episode with a great plot. There's really nothing to rant here but, uh... uh... I want more Mr. Hanky... Uh... Uh... Its okay. Rating 3 1/2

Club Houses The past four episodes have been average, average, average, average. I was getting bored. Forget what I said about Flashbacks, this is the best ep of the season. Fat Albert is histerical and the whole plot is great. Not Mr. Hanky but its plenty to make up for the rest of the seasons mediocerness. Classic episode. Rating 4 3/4

Cow Days Another one of those Summer Sucks Plotty episodes. It can be a fun episode if your in the mood to pay attention. I had a good friend who had strict parents. He would come over every week and watch South Park which I tape. He worked for the salvation army and was transported to Costa Rica. This was the last ep he saw. Thats how I remember it. Rating 3

Spookyfish As I said before, I love Halloween. That's why I didn't like this episode. It had hardly anything to do with halloween. But ::Sigh:: I still get a kick out of the best friend song. Rating 3 1/2

Chef Aid This is kind of like death, except for the fact that the thing that saves this episode is the Chewbacca Defense. Rating 2 1/2

Merry Christmas Charlie Manson Guess whose coming to dinner. Cartmans family is histerical and I fell over in my chair when we saw Cartmans hair. This episode is kind of bland but has its moments. Waiting for Mr. Hanky and not getting him made me feel just like Kyle did. Rating 3 1/2

Underpants Gnnomes Tweek, Tweek, Tweek. YES. Ha, Ha. Finally season 2 gets a great charictor. A drought of Bland eps ends here because Tweek is da bomb. YES. Its great. And the Gnomes were good. Rating 4

Prehistoric Iceman Well this was it for Season 2 and I have to say it sucked. There were a few Gems in a giant pile of... uh... uh... Non Gems. South Park was looking down for me here. We had 3 months of reruns coming up and I wasn't sure I would be coming back for season3. Ratings were down and it seemed that it was a outdated fad. Prehistoric Iceman got hardly one laugh from me. Rating 1 1/2

Season 3 Rainforest Schmainforest I came back for one more ep when season 3 started and well.... I fucking laughed like hell, the failure was gone and a new season of hits had begun. This ep was dead on and I had a smile back on my face. Rating 4 1/4

Spontaneous Combustion After the season starting I was expecting a slow down but I didn't get it. The plot seemed boring to me in previews but the religon and erection plots got me laughing like hell. And that Scooby Doo Song was one of Sp's funniest moments. Rating 4

Chef's Mama This episode also seemed boring from previews but with the power of Cartmans Glasses, The Loch Ness Monster and Derp it got a great rating from me once again. SouthPark was on a role. Rating 4 1/2

Jackoffasuars The odvious rip of Jar Jar would have been funny for 5 minutes. Not 30. All Streaks have to end somewhere. Rating 1 3/4

Shop Class Tweak, Craig and Sumo Cartman make for a great subplot but the main plot is dull and wierd Rating 3

Sexual Harassment Panda When watching this on tape I fast foward all scenes that do not include the panda. Nuff Said Rating 3

Cat Orgy A great ep once again. Shelly and Cartman are funny. The boyfriend is okay. But the WildWildWest scenes are classic. As are the cat orgy scenes. Rating 4 1/2

Melvins Melvins pulls off an average with funny scenes and dull scenes combined. But really thats quite a good rating considering I HATE STAN Rating 2 1/2

Jewbillee Wow Matt and Trey went through 3 whole eps whitout getting anything bleeped out. They have matured indefinetly. But all in all this ep was average. Rating 3

-Dan Share your op. on anything

Dude, you get an "F" here. Kenny is NOT killed by the visitors. He is knocked onto the highway when the spaceship shows up, then he gets up (still alive), then is stampeded back onto the pavement by the panicked cows, then gets up AGAIN and finally is hit by Barbrady's car and dies.

(Also, Kyle never tries anything directly with Cartman's ass, although he does scream into Cartman's *ear* trying to talk to the aliens.)

I'll stop here. If you can get this much wrong from what's probably the most frequently aired episode of all 40, I don't wanna see the rest. We are just oh-so-strict about this stuff here. Now go to your room.

hey, that last post was great. I'm just glad someone feels the way I do.

SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME

I agree that the group can be a bit too nasty sometimes (and from the *reggies*, too, I mean, I think *we* should at least try to be civil and keep the group's good name), but don't dish it out if you can't take it! Most of you people either bring it on yourselves or dig yourselves into a deeper hole..

-Kim "Obsessive Freaks Hotline, we're not obsessed, we're healthily preoccupied. We are currently celebrating our one year anniversary, how may I help you?"-Me

"Hm..lowfat SPAM has less grease but more meat, which would make the better lube?"-Me

Psst! You need to quote a piece of the post so that people know WHICH post you mean by "that last post." Not everybody sees them in the same order or position, or even with the rest of the posts in that thread.

You *can* do it. Even AOL has a quoting option. (Too bad they don't usually tell anyone about it....)

Skip it if you don't like this post. I posted it trying to share my opinons but you all got psycho bitch on me. I won't be posting here much anymore.

G, Bye!

-Dan

Ehh, don't worry about it, Dan. There's a few....bits of debris....left over from a really big invasion of assholes that happened while you were gone. So, if anyone really rabid attacks you, don't take offense. They're being assholes to everybody.

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-YOU SUCK DOGNUTS YOU DAMN PILEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't get comedy central and so have seen only those episodes released on DVD. My favorite individual line occurs in Tom's Rhinoplasty, where Mr. Garrison tells the photographer, "I'm going to need more smack." ("You got it, baby!") I also did not understand the vendetta against Barbra Streisand; in fact, most celebrities mocked in SP appear to have about 50 times the talent of SP's creators.

On 12 Aug 1999 01:53:32 GMT, [email] (Ds2587sp) wrote:

Leaving that very last comment aside because it's so subjective, I should still point out that most of the celebrities mocked in SP don't take such grand purple offense like ole Babs did. (Apparently she threw a real fit.)

Some superstars get a serious god complex and try to make the rest of the world live up to their own hallucinations rather than realizing that their fame doesn't entitle them to anything but money. Streisand is one of these, and Matt & Trey, like most people, picked up on that pretty fast. We also hear they resented her role in stepping up the boycott of Colorado (their home state) while homophobic Amendment 2 was in effect. I haven't confirmed that.

(However, if it's true it might knock *some* of the wind out the sails of the people who think M&T are gay.) (Some, not all.) (Not all of the gay or non-homophobic people in Colorado were comfortable with the boycott for obvious reasons.)

Admittedly, I am not all that familiar with the roots of Streisand's fame or whatever ego problems she may have. My recollection over the years is that she has been hugely popular and remains so today, filling very pricey venues for the rare performances that she gives. And I did not know that she had reacted in any way to her mocking treatment on SP; heheh, I wish I could have seen a video of that!

If she did endorse a boycott of Colorado, that sounds like a better explanation. It just seemed excessive to center a whole episode on her. I think a better approach would be along the lines of the Simpsons' zinging Joan Rivers: she runs alongside Homer's car, yells "Help me, my daughter isn't talented!" and gets pulled under the car's wheels.

My conclusion is: Streisand got more than she deserved, Leonard Maltin was about right, and David Hasselhoff definitely got off easy! :)

Yeah, when you wrote this you had no idea what you're talking about. You're trying to sound like a critic and pretending like everyone gives a damn at this newsgroup. Your in depth explanation of episode plots is fine, but you seem to criticize the episode in less than a full sentence, not even stating a reason for your rating. Come on, even critics atleast give us a paragraph before they throw s**t in our face. So, whenever you post here again i hope you realize that south park is not to be taken seriously. We don't care what you think. You're an idiot, so stop posting!

Yeah, it must be fun to throw obscenities around while hiding behind a fake name. I think a quick glance at the drivel below is all it takes to see who the idiot is. No wonder AOL is so highly regarded...

On 12 Aug 1999 06:37:35 GMT, [email] (AdidasBas3) wrote:

Yeah, you're right.

We'd much rather read your inane insults than some silly post that actually *gasp* discusses South Park.

Duh.

Newsflash: If it came down to a popularity contest between you and Dan (Ds2587sp), who do you suppose would get voted right out of this newsgroup?

Yeah. You. By an overwhelming majority, I'm presuming.

Please consider taking your own advice.

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OH, too bad you feel that way. I'm sorry if I don't discuss whether or not Jews can jack off after they're circumsized, but oh well. Well, maybe I won't post here again then. You guys are just a bunch of assholes. This newsgroup is nothing more than a spam hole filled with useless messages and get-rich-quick schemes. I'm outta here.

AdidasBas3 wrote:

Promises, promises.

Oh my........how are we going to go on in this newsgroup without AdidasBas3's poignant and thought provoking posts? This news of leaving has shaken the very foundation of Usenet! This is horrible! This is atrocious! What can we do to persuade him/her to stay?????? OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Toni

AdidasBas3 wrote:

Monogrammed bye-bye-don't-let-the-door-hit-your-ass-on-the-way-out cards?

Mark Tangard wrote:

LOL! There ya go- that'll work!

-Toni

On 12 Aug 1999 01:53:32 GMT, [email] (Ds2587sp) wrote:

Of course you did :-).

No argument here. This is probably the weakest ep of the entire series. It was so bad that I actually taped over it with the next episode.

How 'bout a question instead ----- Where was the rant? A rant, to me, implies a scathing, merciless commentary. However, from your post I gather that you like some eps and you also don't like some eps. This describes almost everyone (myself included) that has ever followed SP. I don't care how good a show is, you will not enjoy every single episode. This entire post should have been named "MODERATE DISCOURSE" ("GENTLE MUSINGS" maybe?"). ............just a thought.

BTW, this was NOT a rant, just an friendly observation.

Mr Mackey: Does anyone know why drugs are bad? Cartman: Because if you use drugs, you're a hippie and hippies suck.

Ds2587sp wrote

All

Not only was this episode very funny, it made an important point that needed making in a world dominated by environmentalist whackos (damn hippies). Ineffective species are SUPPOSED to become extinct!

rAD