Is religion ever funny?

South Park?

[email] wrote:

Depends. Some of the stories in the Bible have some amusing angles. The story of Balaam and the donkey is amusing (Balaam ends up saying "Nay" while the donkey speaks like a human) and the fact that the Lord told Elijah to go to a woman for sustenance when she had only enough for herself and her son and would then die is also somewhat funny as well. And some of the end results of disobedience are funny, but sobering and good lessons in the process.

Is religion ever not funny? "trijcomm" wrote in message news:[email]...

Jack Van Impe is a comedic genius!

HAW HAW!

trijcomm ([email]) wrote:

Perhaps the translator of that passage had a sense of humor, unless the Hebrew for "Nay" is the same.

Brad

On Tue, 10 Oct 2006 16:48:43 +0000 (UTC), [email] (Brad Filippone) wrote:

I know what you mean. Often these things are the same. There are deep connections between Hebrew & English, eg. 'beer' in hebrew means 'well' - you can see how 'beer' came to mean 'a drink' in ancient English and gradually a particular drink. The first letter Aleph was the progenitor of the Greek Alpha, which in turn gave birth to our letter 'A'.

But also you have to wonder if some things were waiting to be translated. Sort of like easter eggs in a cosmic DVD menu.

wrote in message news:[email]...

The whole concept of religion is funny. From the Jews leaving Egypt in the Old Testament with no one from Egypt writing about owning Jewish slaves to the fairy tales about jeebus.

On Tue, 17 Oct 2006 19:55:51 +1000, "seon ferguson" wrote:

I'm sure you don't care, but you're wrong - tragically wrong. I have tons of archaeological evidence I can dump on you like I *always* do. But you don't care, so I won't. If someone with an open mind cares, I will.

You're a weird guy Seon. You were here responding to posts days ago. This thread was here and you passed it by. But today you spout garbage at it. It's so RANDOM. Like the Ozzie-rules football team that randomly beat up a jew yesterday.

It's just so completely unnecessary. The guy just wears a different hat, so these people feel like they have to punch him. It's pathetic. http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20595004-2,00.html

Does it make them feel like big men? Does it? Pathetic scum. They pick on one man and his crying children. Louts. Control your countrymen.

I think the cork hat is stupid. Do I punch people because of it? No I don't. I respect their right to wear a silly hat. It's nice in a way, People are a bit different wearing a cork hat, like it might put a smile on your face or something.

And do some research before you spout lies.

The only lies around here are the Bible but please show me your evidence. If you have any archaeological or historical evidence that proves the Jews were in Egypt and that the Pharaohs army was drowned in the red sea (skeletons dating back to that era would convince me) I'd love to be proven wrong. I want to believe there's a loving father in the sky who has watched out for his people for thousands of years but the lack of evidence makes me doubt that is true.

By the way I didn't reply to this post because I came up with my reply after a few days.

Also just because I criticise the Jewish religion doesn't mean I don't like Jews. Far from it I respect anyone who can hold onto their tradition for so long after facing so much persecution from the Romans right up to the Nazi's. Plus am I anti Arab for thinking Muhammad was a fraud? Those people who attacked the Jewish men are cowards and bullies but how am I supposed to control them? I'm a weakling. I have been researching the historical Jesus for years and have found the only mention of him has been 4th century forgeries or from people who lived years after he was alleged to. So I've done my research.

"seon ferguson" wrote in message news:4535df25$0$24660$[email]...

If "this post" refers to the post that you're replying to, then I'm sorry to inform you that you did reply to it.

"Wog George" wrote in message news:yIlZg.49191$[email]...

Is that the reply I posted on the 17th? If its not then I apologise.

[I've put thought into this reply, I hope you enjoy]

On Wed, 18 Oct 2006 18:00:33 +1000, "seon ferguson" wrote:

Indeed. But that's skeletons biodegrade, so effectively, you're saying that nothing would convince you.

This in itself is a proof of the prophecies of the Bible. There's only so long "it's a coincedence" stands up in court. If you really believe in research, it's very important to research the prophecies of the Bible, and explain why every no prophecy has ever failed. Every academic who has ever tried has concluded that the Bible is true.

No, that's absolutely right. Arabs can be great people, but Islam is simply nasty. Wholly based on killing others and taking their property. It is so sad that people say "the major world religions" like they fit in the same basket. They really don't.

Yes they are, I agree.

You talk to people, you change your society.

Then do some exercise or something. Sheesh. So fatalistic!

No you have not! Pht! 23 year olds! Have you even read one book of the Bible?

I love the way you say "So I've done my research" at the end, like you've somehow proved it.

OK, here's a starter for 10. You can watch a video here: rtsp://66.132.139.173:554/levittmedia/ZLV-689.rm?cloakport=8080,554 (real player)

and learn about various archaeology including the ossuary of James, the half-brother of Jesus, which is scientifically dated to the correct time.

But don't think that this in itself is a reason to believe. It's only an archaeological relic. Some call it a forgery, of course, they say it's "too perfect", but so of course, what can you do. People either believe, or they don't. If I showed you your skeleton, you could say it was a fake. And I think that's the way it's meant to be. When Thomas stuck his fist inside Jesus' side and fell down on his knees, Jesus said "you believe, but how blessed are those who have not seen, and yet believe". Faith has mystified philophers for thousands of years.

Another example is how detractors are always proved wrong. "There was no major city at Jerusalem until 1000BC, so Abraham couldn't have met Melchizidek there in 2000BC" they said, for years and years they said that. But in the last few years they found *huge* mega-ton megalithic stones at the ancient entrance to the city which were the bases of huge pillars, dating back to 4000 years ago, the time of Abraham. Similar stones aren't seen until the Roman times. This happens *all* the time. What was previously "the accepted academic view" gets rebuffed. Every genuine *evidence* found backs up the Bible. No *evidence* found disproves the Bible.

So it's up to you. I used to think as you do. Then I caught myself saying things about the Bible etc. that I had absolutely no way to back up. And I had to ask myself who had told me these things, because I had no evidence for them. In *every* other area of life I would demand evidence. But for some reason I felt I could say any garbage about the Bible. Then I made up my own mind. It was a great time in my life.

The no-God theory is the one that needs proving. The big bang theory is completely at odds with the first law of thermodynamics. There is no maybe, no "but we can get back to the first billionth of a second man". That's no good. You can either tell me how the energy was created, or you can not.

When I see people go from hating their fellow man to loving him, I *know* that there is a God. The only reason I try to share that knowledge is because I know what an awesome impact it has on lives.

But yes, sometimes I swear on here, and I'm not perfect. And I love to see a gal jog braless. But there you go. God is good. I do my best, and I'm getting better. But God is 100% real. I'll tell you that.

"Indeed. But that's skeletons biodegrade, so effectively, you're saying that nothing would convince you"

No other archaeological evidence would prove me. Like some Hebrew toys that have been scientifically dated back to the pre exodus days were found in Egypt. Or maybe something else its just if there really were Jews in Egypt you'd think someone would have wrote about it or at the very least someone would have wrote about the Pharaohs army being drowned. At the very least you can convince me the Old Testament is historical and the rabbi writers based their myths on real people and events. Or maybe the myths developed over time and the rabbi's thought they were writing about the truth.

"This in itself is a proof of the prophecies of the Bible"

Is it? I mean why did the Jewish people have to go through so much suffering? I suppose the Bible did say they would be persecuted and people would hate them.

"Every academic who has ever tried has concluded that the Bible is true"

Those academic's were obviously Christians to begin with. Just because every scientist used to think the world was flat didn't make that theory true, did it?

"No, that's absolutely right. Arabs can be great people, but Islam is simply nasty"

I think your talking about extremist Islam where they call for jihad and try to force their beliefs down our throughs (just like extremists in every religion). I have nothing against the ordinary every day Muslim who just wants to live in piece or even extremists, unless they blow me up.

"Then do some exercise or something"

I swim every week.

"No you have not! Pht! 23 year olds! Have you even read one book of the Bible?"

I've read the entire new testament (apart from revelations) and the old testament up till the book of Samuel. I simply believe the Bible wasn't meant to be taken literally.

I'll check out the movie later today. I hope its unbiased I've seen a lot of biased stuff out there. However I wont say the skeleton is fake if there's scientific evidence to prove its real. Yes Faith is amazing but I seek truth, like the truth in all religions (that God exists and God loves us)

Your right sceptics have been proven wrong throughout history but there's simply no evidence that a rabbi from Nazareth did all the things the new testament said he did 2000 years ago. We cant even be sure who wrote the gospel of mark or the gospel of Matthew etc I mean if a contemporary historian living at the time the bible was put together said "and at this time mark wrote the gospel of mark" or called Matthew the author of the gospel of Matthew then I'd believe the new testament is a testimony to Jesus' life but till that day they could have been written by anyone.

"So it's up to you. I used to think as you do. Then I caught myself saying things about the Bible etc"

I started reading the bible because I didn't want to have to rely on what other sceptics or Christians said. When a Christian said Matthew 20:10 said this or mark 20:9 said that I wanted to know they said that without having to take their word on it. The bible is a great book but as I said it wasn't meant to be taken literally just like all the other myths of the ancient world.

Don't get me wrong I think there's some sort of designer. I mean its laughable to think something could just pop out of nothing or that natural selection is just random.

I don't hate my fellow man I have compassion for everyone even those who would seek to hurt me.

"seon ferguson" wrote in message news:4536bb4f$0$24661$[email]...

Your existence isn't in dispute. No proof is required.

On Thu, 19 Oct 2006 09:39:56 +1000, "seon ferguson" wrote:

It's really difficult to find that kind of thing. If you're thinking of a dreidel, these weren't invented until after the Maccabean rebellion, for the same reason as Hannukah was started. Archaeology finds it much easier to find houses, big stuff.

There is evidence for the jews being enslaved in Egypt in the building of the pyramids, and other things. I've got quite a bit of studying to do, but a quick search yields this page which details an ancient papyrus which is in a museum in Holland. (yes it's a Christian site, but where else would it be!) http://www.konig.org/wc52.htm

I would need to do some more research. But yes, there does appear to be little in the way of physical evidence of the Exodus. But absence of evidence isn't evidence of absence. There was a great pillar at the site next to the red sea where they reached the land, which was erected by David approx 1000 BC, but this has been removed since Muslims came to that land.

Really, really good question. It's much more than I can address here. But, for me, as someone who reads the Bible with faith, I can understand how God's purpose is behind it. It's also *really* important to understand that God doesn't pull all the strings down here. People sometimes think that God should stop all problems. But then the world would be nothing more than a toy, if you understand. We have free will. God does respond to honest prayer, though. It's a really really good question.

That's absolutely true. Hey, maybe you really did read it some! (sorry for doubting then)

What I meant though was the very existence of the people of Israel. The Jebusites, the Amorites, the Girgashites, the Hivites, the Arkites, the Sinites, and many more, are relegated to history books. But the Bible says that Israelites will live as long as people do. It's important to understand that you can't fake prophecies like that. Prophecies that have no specific timeframe like that. Like the prophecies that say "Egypt will never again be a great nation", and many many more. If *any* of those failed, anti-Christians would jump *all* over it! But they never have. The Bible has a 100% track record.

That's the thing. Surprisingly not. That's the whole thing about God. It's *surprising*. It's not what you expect. The "obviously" comes from peoples preconceptions about it. Preconceptions are very often wrong.

No you're right. Of course not. But it's a little different here.

It would be a bit late then!

Any Muslim who follows the Kuran believes that everyone who doesn't believe in Islam (which means 'submission') is an infidel who is either to be killed or converted (and when they are converted they are really only slaves to Arabs anyway, such as the black Muslims of Sudan, seen as slave-stock to Arab muslims). Islam is completely based on "Jihad"; which is the domination of the whole world by the sword. Islam teaches that you must never make peace with 'the infidel'. For instance, what we call the "Oslo Peace Accord", is called in Arab countries the "Oslo Hudna Accord". This word "hudna" is translated "peace" by our media, but it does not mean peace. It means "a temporary truce for the purpose of rearming".

The allah of the Koran is not the God of the Bible. In the Bible has names for God such as "Love", "Provider", "Father", "Wonderful Counsellor". The most intimate name for allah in the Koran is "he is as close as your jugular". The idea of allah came from the ancient moon god. That is why you always see the crescent moon on mosques and on muslim flags.

It's not "just like extremists in every religion". Hinduism doesn't teach to kill you unless you convert. Buddhism doesn't teach to kill you unless you convert. Christianity doesn't teach to kill you unless you convert. Mormanism doesn't teach to kill you unless you convert. Islam does.

What you call "ordinary every day Muslim" there are very few of (although, yes, there is a somewhat bigger percentage in Western countries). And really, they are not following the Koran. They come from a Muslim background, and they are peaceful people, but they are not following what their holy book says.

Arabs can be the friendliest, funniest, warmest people *in the world*. But Islam, honestly, is a bad development in mankind.

Good! Then why are you a weakling?

How funny to read the whole New Testement apart from Revelation! Unusual Old Testement readings too. Genesis is a great read, Exodus too. Leviticus can be a real bore to someone who isn't particularly interested in the minutia of the Jewish Law, although Numbers is quite fun. Joshua is interesting. Judges too. But what a place to stop! You must have enjoyed, as almost everyone does, Ruth, the story of the Canaanite woman who fell in love with an Israeli, and married him, and was one of the ancestors of King David, and so therefore Jesus. This is one of many books which shows that the Jews are an inclusive people, and an inclusive religion. Samuel I and Samuel II is the story of David, which is just a great read. Then Kings and Chronicles continues the history with Solomon

Everything's biased. Anything which says it isn't biased is hiding its bias.

There is no skeleton.

All religions are not equal, really true.

There really is. There is evidence from historians such as Josephus, who was not a Christian. There is no doubt that Jesus existed, and that the events occured. The only point of disagreement to some people is whether he is the Son of God.

Preconceptions are often wrong.

We still have that problem today. Today we overcome it by 128-bit digital signatures. They did not have 128-bit digital signatures in AD30. You can't have such proof. And yet, it's important that we as individuals do our best to try and understand what the truth is

Totally sweet idea. A lot of people want to tell you what the Bible says. Good point to find out for yourself

Again, we've learnt already that there are a lot of preconceptions floating around, and here's another like "it wasn't meant to be taken literally". I think it needs a lot of study to find out to what degree that is true, and to what degree it is not true. The Bible uses allegory, and uses pictures to explain complex concepts, this is true. But there is a lot of literal truth which is easy to be found for those persistent enough to find it.

I think you are so right about that.

I know what you mean. It's interesting how the centuries of Christian teaching has influenced our societies positively, even if we haven't studied these things a lot personally

Jimmuh wrote:

What an idiot.

"Charles & Mambo Duckman" wrote in message news:[email]...

I'm still waiting for his proof before I make a judgement.

On Wed, 18 Oct 2006 20:54:14 -0700, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

How nice.

Jimmuh wrote:

Nice or not nice, it is irrelvant. This is what you actually believe: "This in itself is a proof of the prophecies of the Bible. There's only so long "it's a coincedence" stands up in court. If you really believe in research, it's very important to research the prophecies of the Bible, and explain why every no prophecy has ever failed. Every academic who has ever tried has concluded that the Bible is true"

Anyone who can say this with a straight face can only be described as an idiot.

However, I'll grant you the benefit of a doubt and assume that by some strange twist of bizarre coincidences you have never ever in your entire life stumbled upon any credible work that debunked the Bible bullshit, and I'll recommend perhaps some Voltaire for starters and later, when you grow up, Thomas Paine's "Age of Reason", Bertrand Russel, etc. If reading is not your forte, here's a link to a website:

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/

On Fri, 20 Oct 2006 19:14:35 -0700, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

[socialist crap snipped]

Everyone knows you are a socialist troll, and no one gives a crap what you think. Screw your anti-American agenda. Go live in Russia and moan there. You'll fit right in.

Jimmuh wrote:

??? Socialist crap? What are you, out of your fucking mind? What has not being a gullible superstitious idiot have to do with socialism? Do you even know what socialism is? Or has that subject not been covered in your special ed class?

1. I am not a "socialist troll", whatever that is supposed to be 2. even if I was, i seriously doubt that "everyone" knew that 3. it is not true that no one gives a crap what I think, unless one takes this cute colloquialism literally 4. I don't have any anti-American agenda, unless one feeds off the endless proto-fascist tirades of the AM radio wasteland, Fox "News" and cunts such as Ann Coulter - in such a case, everyone is a "socialist", communist, terrorist, liberal or whoever the bogeyman du jour is 5. I'll go "live in Russia" if and when such a fancy strikes me, not when some fucking Internet psycho who still believes in Santa Claus, Easter Rabbit and Jesus tells me to 6. As for who would fit where, I urge you to examine your world views and compare them with some other religious fanatics on the other side of the World - you'll be surprised how much you have in common with some Mohammed worshipping asshole

And so, much like the rest of your posts, this one too, not surprisingly, fails the basic intelligence test.

Who knew...

On Sat, 21 Oct 2006 22:04:24 -0700, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

I've looked at your previous posts. You never miss an opportunity to sh*t on America, or anything the the right of Lenin.

It's your religion, oh enlightened one.

Sooo nice.

Yes, you are.

Haha. EVERYONE knows...

<blah, blah, blah snipped>

Jimmuh wrote:

Shows how much you know. Not much.

Wow, I bow before the enormity of the argument.

He doesn't. ;)

What he knows is what Rush and the other rightwing gasbags tell him he knows.

If memory serves me correctly, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

This coming from the guy whose diatribes are interchangeable wth those of Fred Phelps and his inbrd clan.

On 22 Oct 2006 08:48:30 -0700, "Reaper G" wrote:

Giant monster movies - cool. I can't wait to see Matt & Trey's Godzilla movie, I bet it's going to rock

If memory serves me correctly, Jimmuh wrote:

Between "Mecha-Streisand" and "Team America", it should at least be interesting.

If memory serves me correctly, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

This coming from the guy whose diatribes are interchangeable wth those of Fred Phelps and his inbred clan.

Reaper G wrote:

Who the fuck are you? Takes an inbred to know an inbred, trailer boy.

Ooooooh, a pretentious moniker! We are so impressed.

But, hey, if your kids have to fall out of a cunt for a second time to become normal human beings, I'm all for it. Tell your sister to push hard.

On Wed, 25 Oct 2006 18:06:28 -0700, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

Gee, I wonder if this guy knows Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour.

Mr. G was relating Mr. Phelps' diatribes to yours; not, necessarily, the inbreeding.

Dammit you need to be a nicer person I'm so seriously.

Jimmuh wrote:

No, but I know Jesus who makes killer burritos on the corner taco stand. Is that the same guy? He doesn't look like much of a Lord, and I seriously doubt he could save me from anything.

On Thu, 26 Oct 2006 18:20:47 -0700, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

grade school

If memory serves me correctly, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

Someone who isn't a psychotic hatemonger.

Takes an inbred to know an inbred, trailer boy.

BZZZT! WRONG! Try again dumbass!

Nah, just savoring the irony, much like what happened to Madalyn Murray O'Hair and the aforementioned Reverend Phelps.

And that's why we're still a religious country. Thank you and good night.

Reaper G wrote:

Learn some grammar, for chrissake. It is downright embarrassing that I, a foreigner whose English is a second language, have to constantly spellcheck and correct the grammar of what can loosely be described as native English speakers. Thus, in your sentence above, after correcting for punctuation, the sentence reads: "Try again, dumbass!"

There is irony in people being murdered for money? I don't understand... did you actually think that atheists claimed to be indestructible? And what's this got to do with your kids? No, wait, I get it, you just don't know what irony means. There's a fucking surprise.

And so are Iran, Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, United Arab Emirates, Libya, Somalia, Indonesia, Yemen, Bahrain, Brunei, Syria, Sudan and Bangladesh. Nice company. Good night, indeed.

It's difficult to hate someone's figment of imagination. I personally don't give a flying fuck what you and your ilk practice in your houses and churches, but when you impose your religious horseshit "morals" on the rest of us, that's where I draw the line. There is little difference between a good chunk of you fucking Christers in the US and the Mohammed worshipping one-way airplane flying assholes. Only the methods are different - your goals are the same. Fuck all of you.

On Thu, 26 Oct 2006 18:09:28 -0700, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

Where do you hail from?

A non-English speaker who is pedantic about commas. Joy.

If memory serves me correctly, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

Okay, spelling Nazi.

No surprise. But I'm a nice guy, so I'll make it easier for you: Madalyn Murray O'Hair, who had a bug up her ass over religion much like you, had a born-again son. Fred Phelps, the "God Hates Fags" guy, has two gay sons. Ergo, I'm looking forward to meeting you offspring as he or she is circulating "The Watchtower" from door to door.

And the alternative? The U.S.S.R., the People's Republic of China, Cambodia, Cuba, etc.

For what it's worth, I haven't been to church services in over 20 years, and I hardly ever open the Bible. I just respect people who lead good lives, and a lot of those people happen to believe in a higher power. Are there obnoxious screwheads to give religion a bad name? Absolutely. So why on earth would you want to sound just like them?

Reaper G wrote:

Ahhh, jeeze, see what happens when you rape your own language like that? If you were trying to convey the convoluted idea of an irony of *my* children becoming religious nutcases, then your moniker should have read "Looking forward to your kids becoming born again". Introducing a third person possessive pronoun at this point of discussion makes no sense if you're trying to refer to me.

This is silly, at best. You take two isolated cases and out of these you formulate a rule?

Why is this the alternative? Ever heard of secular countries like Sweden, Holland, Czech Republic, Denmark, Iceland, etc? All these countries you mention are quasi-religious anyway - they simply replaced a theistic religion with a form of communism which is a de facto, if not de iure, religion. If you lived in a communist country for 25 years, like I did, you'd know that.

And a lot of them don't. Yet, strangely enough, a lot of those who do "believe in a higher power" feel compelled to tell all of us how we're supposed to live our lives, who/when/how we're allowed to fuck, what we're allowed to smoke/drink/eat/inject, what parts of a human body we're allowed to watch on TV, they even go as far as deciding when and how a person can end his fucking life! They cry rivers of tears over a bunch of goddamn stem cells, but gladly send people to die so that the majority holders of Shell, BP, Exxon and Conoco can secure corporate profits.

Because it's a virtual reality and in it I get to be a confrontational borderline sociopath? Because I am way beyond sick and tired watching the conservative gang of incompetent, hypocritical, thieving, lying, divisive, ultra-religious, proto-fascist assholes turn the US into a carbon copy of one of those countries they're "bringing freedom" to? Because I just don't want to have *any* religion shoved down my throat? Because I spent over half of my life in a totalitarian regime that practiced imprisonment without trials, torture, secretive government, non-constitutional procedures, human rights abuses, spying on its citizens, organized state quasi-religion, militarization of the country, suppressing freedom of expression, etc, and I don't need to spend another half going through the same bullshit?

Pick a reason.

Playing catch up here - based on yesterday's election results, it's time you hauled your sorry ass out of the USA the democrats will rebuild. It's going to be a socialist paradise, so you wouldn't like it anyway.

On Fri, 20 Oct 2006 19:14:35 -0700, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

The above statement is absolutely true. You fling random mud at it, but this is the sign that you have no valid argument.

No prophesy in the Bible has ever failed. You snipped vital pieces of information from the thread. When I tell you "this prophesy was fulfilled" for EVERY prophesy, a statistician can easily tell you that the chance of coincedence are greater than winning the lottery TWO TIMES IN A ROW.

But your religion is socialism, we all know that. You are on a leftist Jihad, we all know that too. Your mind is not open, it is closed. That is sad. I pray that God will tenderize you.

Jimmuh wrote:

OK, show us, oh wise and learned master. Point us to the source of this infinite wisdom. Provide us, let's say, with a list of, oh, I don't know, fifty academics who have examined the Bible "prophecies" and concluded that "the Bible is true".

Do you even realize how stupid this sounds? All you have to do is practically open the Bible at random and spot a "prophecy" that failed to deliver.

Or at least it would be so if this was true, which it is not. But hey, why trust me? Open the fucking Bible and read it. Your alleged Jesus said that he would return during the lives of his followers:

Matthew 16:28 Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.

Matthew 24:34 Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.

Matthew 23:36 Verily I say unto you, All these things shall come upon this generation.

Mark 9:1 And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That there be some of them that stand here, which shall not taste of death, till they have seen the kingdom of God come with power.

Mark 13:30 Verily I say unto you, that this generation shall not pass, till all these things be done.

Luke 9:27 But I tell you of a truth, there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the kingdom of God.

Luke 21:32 Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass away, till all be fulfilled.

Where is the fulfillment of this "prophecy"? Are his disciples still alive? They must be cashing a shitload of Social Security checks by now.

What about the "prophecy" about Jesus' first coming:

Isaiah 7:14

Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.

As is well known, the "virgin" translation is an error, since the original word means "young woman", but it is a moot point anyway, because nowhere in the Bible is Jesus referred to as Immanuel. Was that supposed to be his stage name or something?

Anyway, do your own fucking research. Here's the link for the lazy asses: http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/proph/long.html

All of this rambling nonsense could be either true or not, but it doesn't change the fact that you are a superstitious idiot who believes in angels, devils, demons, witches, gods, hell, talking snakes, world-wide floods, burning bushes, and a plethora of other bullshit that no adult should be taking seriously. And why? Because some people told you so. Pathetic.

On Sat, 21 Oct 2006 22:32:32 -0700, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

OK, take your best shot, comrade.

No, Jesus did not say that. Let's look at the verses.

These are all the same statement. "The Kingdom of God" absolutely did come to that generation.

Mt 12:28 But if I cast out devils by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God is come unto you.

Mk 1:15 And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel.

Mk 4:11 And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables

The Kingdom of God is hidden from some. No surprise that some should not understand it, like yourself.

Mk 12:34 And when Jesus saw that he answered discreetly, he said unto him, Thou art not far from the kingdom of God. And no man after that durst ask him any question.

This scribe was not far from the Kingdom of God. Does that mean he was not far from physical death, heaven, or the second coming of Christ? Of course not.

Mt 11:12 And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.

The Kingdom of Heaven is a much wider concept than simply the second coming of Christ.

You throw random allegations, which are easily disproven. You don't want to understand, because socialism is your religion. Your beloved Voltaire, who predicted the immenent demise of the Bible, has his old house being used for the Kingdom of God right now. The Bible's prophesies never fail.

Socialists' prophesies ALWAYS do.

No, it isn't. This is from the Jerusalem Institute of Biblical Polemics:

"It is no wonder that two Jewish translations (the JPS and the Koren Jerusalem Bible) translate the Hebrew word almah as young woman, since translation as virgin would seem to favour Christianity too much"

"take the Hebrew concordance of Mandelkern. He gives as the meaning of the Hebrew word almah: puella nubilis, virgo matura (Solomon Mandelkern, Konkordantziah laTanach or Veteris Testamenti Concordantiae, Tel Aviv, 1978, p. 881). The translation of puella nubilis is marriageable child; the translation of virgo matura is mature virgin. We see that this dictionary gives as meaning a marriageable child, (of which it is expected in Israel that she is virgin); and it also gives as express meaning a virgin of mature age."

"Secondly we consult Geseniusí Handwörterbuch über das Alte Testament. On page 594 it says that almah means a marriageable child or a mature virgin. It also says that the word almah merely indicates that the girl is marriageable"

Sites like those you state manipulate selections out of context because they hate the Bible. They are also socialists.

Matthew 12 21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: 3 for he shall save his people from their sins. 22 Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, 23 Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

Emmanuel and Immanuel are the same word.

Jesus, written in the correct Hebrew, is Yod, Shin, Vav, Ayin (Y, SH, OO, A) (Yeshua). This is interpreted as "God is with us".

I can feel your hate. You're in deep.

You treat the Bible as if it were soundbites to be taken lightly. You're wrong. You want to be wrong. I have answered all of your questions. I won't be answering more, because you don't want to know.

God will tenderize you.

Jimmuh wrote:

Oh, sure it is. It is a concept of a post fact ad hoc cop-out, whereby when some "prophecy" fails to materialize, it has to be "interpreted" as actually occurring but not in the real sense of the word. You fucking Christers thrive on such shit, just like Nostradamus idiots, UFO believing morons and other gullible riffraff.

What's disproven? Jesus "said" (and I put this in quotes because other than the Bible, there is zero evidence for his existence) that he would return during the lives of his followers. He did not. Your pathetic attempts to rationalize your waste of time called religion are duly noted, although understandable, because who wants to go around realizing he pissed away his only life.

And you are too stupid and illiterate to know the difference between a socialist and a social liberal, but then again, to a fascist, everyone is a communist.

Yet another red herring and a lie for Jesus. Even if this was true (care to provide a source?), what is that supposed to prove? Are you really that desperate?

Snip shit. Anyway, I'm tired of your religious nonsense. Feel free to join the Taliban and share your visions and delusions. In the meantime, I'm not going to hold my breath about the list of the so-called "academics who studied the Bible prophecies and concluded it was true".

It's a free world - you want to believe in angles, devils, gods, gremlins, talking snakes, burning bushes and crackers turning into flesh, be my guest.

On Wed, 25 Oct 2006 18:01:26 -0700, Charles & Mambo Duckman wrote:

As Jesus said, "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they will trample them under foot"

I've answered your questions, and won't be answering any more. You have established your position as anti-God. There's nothing anyone can say to change that. Take your bigoted hate elsewhere.

Your fake email address tells a lot about you. "your_name@go_f*ck_yourself". You'd better look up your favourite word 'social', and learn how to be it.

Jimmuh wrote:

Yeah, yeah, Jesus "said" a lot of things. So many, actually, and in the tradition of the Old Testament, they are self-contradictory and, as usual, open to interpretation. That's why there are literally hundreds of Christianity offshoot denominations, sects and cults. Even your holy book has been created by a fucking vote. Nicea, anyone?

Once again, for the mentally challenged among us: I can't possibly be "anti" something that doesn't exist. However, I can certainly be "anti" religious fanatics, bigots and in-your-face false-morals hypocrites of any kind.

Ah, time to put your Internet psychology diploma to a good use before you leave, eh? Watch out for those socialists and liberals, I hear they eat children for lunch.

You may not realise that the Da Vinci Code is *fiction*. No such event as a bible vote ever occurred, and certainly not at Nicaea.

Hate noted. I suggest that you learn some tolerance and respect for others. Your own position of silent conformity is not one that any rational person would adopt.

All the best,

Roger Pearse

On 27 Oct 2006 04:19:35 -0700, [email] wrote:

Totally what that guy said.

"Charles & Mambo Duckman" wrote in message news:[email]...

The Bible predicted that this would happen!!

On Sat, 21 Oct 2006 13:14:08 GMT, "Wog George" wrote:

"Jimmuh" wrote in message news:[email]...

The Bible also predicted people would question weather Jesus actually existed. Smart writters.

Seon

Once Upon A Time seon ferguson wrote:

Oh, the irony is painful.

** Captain Infinity

On Sun, 22 Oct 2006 01:01:21 GMT, Captain Infinity wrote:

You're nasty to people, underpants. Did your finger never slip on the keyboard? Sheesh.

Can you see the 'W' key out of the corner of your left eye? WE put that there. Sometimes it moves a little. Do you see it? Doubleyou.

doubleyoudoubleyoudoubleyou

"Jimmuh" wrote in message news:[email]...

Nah, that one's a classic.

"Captain Infinity" wrote in message news:[email]...

I thought this thread was dead.

Seon