Darn. This thing is long. Well, this is *probably* the last part. But you never know if I'm gonna be interrupted--I got a job interview at 3:30. <nervous> AAAHH!
<insert legal stuff>
NOTE: WHOEVER READS THIS, PLEASE ANSWER THE QUESTION I'LL ASK AT THE END! (I said Please. I'm being polite, so take heed to my words) ****************************************************************************************
[Ice cream parlor]
[Sheila and Cartman are sitting in a booth, eating the infamous Quickies]
[Kyle, wearing the black outfit, enters and starts throwing napkins at Cartman]
Kyle: Go away, you ruffian!
Sheila: Kyle, are you ok?
[Kyle pulls off his head]
Cartman & Sheila: AAAHH!
[Kyle is really Pip in disguise]
Cartman: What are you doing?!?
Pip: Since I am tired of having no friends, I was trying to save Sheila
from any
further embarrassment that was bestowed upon her from you,
therefore gaining her
friendship.Sheila: Pip?
Pip: Yes?
Sheila: Shut up and go buy yourself a pinwheel!
[Pip leaves]
Sheila: Cartman, was your mom acting weird lately? About the ice cream?
Cartman: Not really. She just mentioned that next time we should get a condominium or something. That's all she had to say.
Sheila: My aunt is totally freaking out! She's acting like there's a
porcupine up her
butt or something! And the news people! What's the deal with
them? I never
knew it was illegal to have ice cream!Cartman: Aren't you Jewish?
Sheila: I don't know. My parents never bothered to tell me. Hey, maybe
that's it!
Maybe I'm Jewish, and Jewish people can't eat ice cream because
they're only
supposed to eat pickles and red beets or something!Cartman: That could be it.
Sheila: Before someone here finds out I'm Jewish and makes me go home to eat some pickles, can I ask you something?
Cartman: Eh, ok.
Sheila: Do you like me? As in, like me-like me?
Cartman: Yeah! Of course! Do you like me?
Sheila: Yeah, you bet I do!
Cartman: Kick @ss!
[Cheesy romantic music starts playing]
[Cartman and Sheila turn green and cover their ears]
Cartman: HEY! TURN OFF THAT AWFUL MUSIC! IT'S PISSING ME OFF!
[Cartman takes a chair from a nearby table and throws it at the ceiling. There's a crunching sound, and the music stops]
Sheila: Now *that's* better! But there's still one thing bugging me.
I don't know if
I'm going to have to move back to the Sahara Desert while my
parents are
studying the stupid icebergs.Cartman: Eh, I won't let them make you live in an igloo like those stupid dolphins.
[Sheila smiles and gives Cartman a kiss on the cheek]
[Mrs. B, followed by Kyle, Stan, and Kenny arrive. Mrs. B sees the kiss]
Mrs. B: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?!?!
[News people who hear Mrs. B's screams enter with their cameras. They set up and start filming]
Sheila: Oh, hi Aunt Sheila! What are you doing here?
Mrs. B: Never mind that! What did I just see?!? Not again! I WON'T ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN!
Sheila: Allow what to happen again?
Mrs. B: A quickie! If that Eric Cartman character so as much comes near you again, I'll kill him!
Kenny: {Dammit. And this time I remembered the video camera!}
Sheila: I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I was Jewish! I won't eat any
more ice cream!
I'll eat pickles until I explode to make up for it! Please
don't kill Cartman!
He didn't know I was Jewish, and neither did I!Mrs. B: Oh my God! She's gone crazy! The poor child doesn't know what she's talking about!
Sheila: What? If anyone's crazy, it certainly isn't me! It's you!
You and the whole
entire town! A person eats a Quickie and it's an international
conspiracy!
It's really pissing me off! Jewish or not, I don't really
think ice cream
would cause this big of a problem! Screw everybody! Me and
Cartman should
elope, so we can go to a land where ice cream is smiled upon
and you people
won't piss me off! AAAHH!Mrs. B: The problem is NOT about ice cream! It's about you two having a quickie!
Sheila: What do you think a Quickie is! It's not a bomb or anything! IT'S ICE CREAM!
[Everyone is shocked]
[Kyle notices the paper cups on the table where Cartman and Sheila were sitting. On the side of a cup, there's lettering that says,"Quickie"]
[Kyle picks up a cup and shows it to everybody]
Kyle: Mom, she's right. All they did was eat ice cream.
Mrs. B: Oh...my...God! I'm so sorry! I thought...Oh my God! This is the best news! You're all right!
[Mrs. B hugs a confused Sheila]
Mrs. B: And, Eric, I'm sorry about all this.
[Cartman looks confused]
Reporter #1: Damn. Let's go home. I was hoping for a scandal.
[Reporters leave]
[Reporters come back]
Reporter #2: Duh, this is a story, ya know.
Reporter #1: Oh, duh. Right. I used to work for a tabloid. What do you want from me?
[Cameras and news lights go back on]
Sheila: Aunt Sheila, what did you think we were doing? It had to have been something pretty bad for you to react like that!
Mrs. B: Oh...umm... nothing...
[Mrs. B leaves]
[The reporters start to pack up their stuff. One of their lights falls over and explodes on Kenny]
Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!
Kyle: You b@st@rds!
Sheila: Kyle, what did your mom think happened, anyway?
Kyle: She thought... [whispers the rest to Sheila]
Sheila: Oh, no! That never happened! It *is* an idea, though...
Kyle: AAAHH!
Sheila: Just kidding!
Cartman: Eh, what? What did everyone think happened?
Sheila: [turning red] Umm, nothing...
Cartman: Kyle?
Kyle: No! I'm not going to give you any ideas!
Cartman: Dammit.
[A Week Later--At The Airport]
[Kyle, Stan, Sheila, and Cartman are there]
Sheila: So, I'm just going to Africa to say good-bye to my parents and
to get the rest
of my clothes and stuff, and then I'll return to South Park!
My aunt is going
to officially adopt me. My parents couldn't care less. I
seriously think
they never even knew I existed. So no loss there!Cartman: So, you're sure you're gonna be back?
Sheila: Yeah. You bet I am!
Cartman: Ok, I'll see ya soon!
[He goes off]
[Sheila looks a bit pissed off]
Stan: See ya, Sheila!
Sheila: See ya!
[Stan leaves]
Kyle: I'm sorry about how I acted about Cartman.
Sheila: It's ok. And I'm sorry I was being a bit(h.
Kyle: You know, I think this story has a moral: Don't jump to conclusions before you get a good explanation, or else you'll be stuck in one awful misunderstanding!
[Mrs. B walks up]
Mrs. B: Are you ready, Sheila?
Sheila: Yep.
Mrs. B: Ok, Kyle, you can go home now. I'm going to accompany Sheila on her journey.
Kyle: Ok, mom.
[Kyle leaves]
[Sheila and Mrs. B get on the plane]
Mrs. B: Yeah! Now I can take off this stupid costume!
[Mrs. B pulls off her head. Mrs. B was really Cartman in disguise]
Sheila: CARTMAN!?!
Cartman: Yeah! My plan worked!
[The plane takes off. Down below, out their window, Sheila and Cartman see the real Mrs. B screaming and waving her arms for the plane to land again]
[Mrs. B's cellular phone rings. She answers it]
Mrs. B: Sheila Broslofski speaking.
Ms. Cartman: Hi, this is DeeAnn Cartman. I was wondering if you saw my son, Eric, lately.
Mrs. B: Nope, sorry.
[They hang up]
[Mrs. B does a double take, when she realizes what must've happened]
Mrs. B: OH MY GOD!!!!
[Back to plane]
[Sheila and Cartman are about to kiss. That cheesy romantic music goes on again]
Cartman & Sheila: AAAHH!
[Cartman throws some lady's purse at the ceiling. There is a crunching noise, and the music stops]
[Cartman and Sheila kiss. Kyle pops in from off-screen, and sees this]
Kyle: AAAHHHHH!
[END]
****************************************************************************************
HEY! READ AND ANSWER THIS!
Now, I was wondering if I should write any more fanfics with Sheila in.
The question is, Keep Sheila or Ditch Her?
(And, no, they all wouldn't be based on her--she may pop in once in a while--maybe a *couple* more where she's actually important)