(fanfic) "The Broslofski War" Pt. 2

I should be in Philadelphia today, but it rained, so my family had to cancel our plans. :( But yesterday, I did have a good time at the amusement park! So, today, I have a chance to write some more, before I get crazily busy again.

<crosses fingers and hopes it's good>

I'm still looking for questions for my fanfic/interview with Sheila. So, send them on in! They could be serious, silly, strange, whatever.

Here we go!

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[K.A.S.=Kyle, who now looks like Sheila; S.A.K.=Sheila, who now looks like Kyle]

[Busstop]

[Cartman, Stan, Kenny, K.A.S., and S.A.K. are waiting around]

Cartman: You know, guys. I've been thinking...

Stan: Wow! Lard-for-brains *thinks*???

Cartman: Eh, screw you hippie!

S.A.K.: Shut up, Stan!!!

Stan: Dude! What's with ya, Kyle? You're defending Cartman??

S.A.K.: Ummm....

K.A.S.: Yeah, *KYLE*. You're acting weird *KYLE*. So keep your mouth shut *KYLE*!

S.A.K.: Shove it up your ass, Kyle...umm, I mean *SHEILA*!

K.A.S.:  Shut up, *KYLE*!!

Stan: You two are really scaring me here!

Cartman: HEY! EVERYONE LISTEN TO MY THOUGHTS HERE!!! I'M GETTING PISSED OFF!!!!

Stan: Ok, ok. We're listening.

Cartman:  Ok, you know how when fish die, you flush them down the
toilet, and they go
          to Fish Heaven?  If a person would be flushed down the toilet,
would the
          person end up in Fish Heaven or People Heaven?

Stan: WHAT?!?

Cartman: And I think we should try to find that out. One of us should be flushed down a toilet, and then come back and tell the rest of us what happened.

S.A.K.: [not really paying much attention as she stares at Cartman with little hearts around her head] Ok.

Stan: Kyle, you're gonna be flushed down a toilet???

S.A.K.: Ok.

K.A.S.:  WHAT?!?! NO!

Stan: [to himself] First Mr. Hankey, now this! What's the deal with Kyle and toilets?

[On schoolbus]

[K.A.S. and S.A.K. are sitting together]

K.A.S.: What the hell is wrong with you, girl?

S.A.K.: What do you mean?

K.A.S.: YOU AGREED TO BE FLUSHED DOWN A TOILET!!! IN *MY* BODY, YET!!!

S.A.K.: I did?

K.A.S.: Yeah, you did! *WHY*?

S.A.K.: I don't know! I didn't realize it! I was too busy admiring Cartman!

K.A.S.: <mocking> I was too busy admiring Cartman! You're not Sheila now! You're Kyle! Don't admire Cartman! It just isn't *right*!

S.A.K.: Being you really sucks! I wanna be me again!

[S.A.K. shuts her eyes and starts chanting]

K.A.S.: What the hell are you doing? Are you crazy or something?

S.A.K.: I'm trying to get us changed back to normal! I'm chanting in Pig Latin.

K.A.S.: And that helps how???

S.A.K.: I dunno. It just seemed like a good idea. Oh, and since you're me now, NO SCREWING AROUND HERE! Act like me!

K.A.S.: Does that involve kissing Cartman or something?

S.A.K.: YES!!!

K.A.S.: EEEWW!

[K.A.S. shuts eyes and starts chanting in Pig Latin]

[Other part of bus--Stan and Cartman's seat]

Cartman: Did you notice anything different about Sheila?

Stan:  Yeah, I did.  Her and Kyle are both acting weird.  Hey, dude!
You know, I really
       don't understand one thing here, Cartman.  I thought you didn't
like Jewish
       people or girls, and Sheila is both!

Cartman:  Well, first of all, she doesn't worship cows and shoot anyone
who eats
          hamburgers, like I heard Jewish people do.  And, second of
all, she's not
          like most other girls.  She's the best!  But now I'm worried
here.  She's been
          acting too much like Kyle today, and that's scaring me!

Stan: Yeah, and Kyle's been a bit weird today, too. Did you notice that he was staring at you, like he was *admiring* you or something???

Cartman: AAAHH!!!

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Damn. I had to cut this part short. This was *supposed* to be the last part. We're having a severe thunderstorm, so I sort of can't stay on the computer at this very moment. I'll be back later, when there's no chance of me being completely fried here.

Comments, and stuff always welcome.

~Kyle Broslofski~

On Mon, 10 Aug 1998 20:47:40 GMT, Kyle Broslofski wrote:

Cool... another Delaware Valley-ite.

I'm in South Jersey... just across the river from Philly... whereabouts are you?

----- Lone Wolf AKA Powerslave My Kung-Fu is the best.

"Into the flood again... same old trip it was back then... so I made a big mistake... try to see it once my way..." - Alice in Chains, "Would"

"I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne. Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky." - Sean Connery, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Actually, I'm from northeast PA. I'm from a *very* *very* small town, which is by the small mountain town of Hazleton. If you have no idea where that is, it's by the small cities of Wilkes-Barre and Scranton, (if you have any idea where they are--I don't live near any prominent cities, so it's hard to describe my location).

~Kyle Broslofski~

On Mon, 10 Aug 1998 23:01:23 GMT, Kyle Broslofski wrote:

I know the area reasonably well... had a delivery job that took me throughout the Delaware Valley a couple of years ago, and I got pretty familiar with Philly and the surrounding cities.

Say... are you a Pulp Fiction or Ghostbusters fan?

There's a movie theatre over here that has special midnight classic movies every Saturday and Sunday... this coming weekend is Pulp Fiction and next weekend is Ghostbusters. Not sure what else they're showing beyond that, but in the past they've had the Indiana Jones trilogy, the first 6 Star Trek movies, Dazed and Confused, and Dumb and Dumber. If they get a fraction of the movies on the list they sent to their distributor, it's gonna be a wicked cool summer and fall.

----- Lone Wolf AKA Powerslave My Kung-Fu is the best.

"Into the flood again... same old trip it was back then... so I made a big mistake... try to see it once my way..." - Alice in Chains, "Would"

"I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne. Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky." - Sean Connery, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Pulp Fiction I've never seen. I saw the Ghostbusters movie before and I loved it! :) I even used to collect those figurines when I was 5 or 6 years old, and I'd even used to watch the cartoon when it was still on.

Kick ass! What movie theater is this? (The local ones here are Hoyts, the Key, and Hazleton Cinemas; we even have 2 drive-ins--the Motor-Vu and the Laurel)

~Kyle Broslofski~

"I love you guys. Eh, screw you guys."

On Tue, 11 Aug 1998 21:24:00 GMT, Kyle Broslofski wrote:

Well, Pulp Fiction at midnight is too much for me to handle... (it's 2 1/2 hours) I did it once before when they showed Pulp Fiction a couple of months ago... but man, I can't sit there that long with the movie starting at midnight.

Come on over for Ghostbusters! Starts at 12:15 am Saturday and Sunday the 21st and 22nd. Pulp Fiction is this coming weekend.

Cinemark Movies 10 (now the Movies 9, until they get their new theatres added on)

Here's their info:

Somerdale Movies 10 & 6 711 Evesham Rd Somerdale, NJ 08083-3000 Phone: (609)784-7964

Just get to the White Horse Pike (route 30) somehow from Philly... Lion's Head Plaza is just off the pike... probably a 10-15 minute drive from the Ben Franklin or Walt Whitman bridges.

----- Lone Wolf AKA Powerslave My Kung-Fu is the best.

"Into the flood again... same old trip it was back then... so I made a big mistake... try to see it once my way..." - Alice in Chains, "Would"

"I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne. Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky." - Sean Connery, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Damn! My mom won't let me! She's like, "No. It's too late for you, and it's too far away! I'm not driving you out there! Blah, blah, blah." :( <whines> I wanted to go to the movies!

~Kyle Broslofski~

On Thu, 13 Aug 1998 17:33:12 GMT, Kyle Broslofski wrote:

How the hell old are you?

Tell her to fuck off and get your ass over here next week.

----- Lone Wolf AKA Powerslave My Kung-Fu is the best.

"Into the flood again... same old trip it was back then... so I made a big mistake... try to see it once my way..." - Alice in Chains, "Would"

"Hello... my name is Berg... and I'm addicted to messing with Pete." - Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place

I'm 15 (which accounts for my inability to drive myself over)

She just screeched and said, "Have more respect, blah, blah, blah!" Maybe if I start walking now, I'll make it over in time for the show. I wish I could go. :(

~Kyle Broslofski~

On Thu, 13 Aug 1998 23:34:10 GMT, Kyle Broslofski wrote:

Ok... I have a plan. Make yourself a fake ID saying you're 18, then start in on your mom saying that you're 18 and you can do what you like. Try to play it up like she's going senile and she's forgotton your age.

Either that, or get your dad out of the house, and I'll come over and "occupy" your mother's attention while you sneak out to the movies. Be sure to "borrow" some cash form her purse for train and taxi fare.

Yeah... they'll do that.

That sucks ass, dude. This is pretty fucked up right here. ;)

Well, maybe you can talk an older brother, uncle, or even a parent into driving you down. I'll keep you posted as to what movies the theatre gets after next week.

Pulp Fiction this Friday and Saturday... I wasn't going to go, (it's 2 1/2 hours, and that's brutal with a midnight start time) but what the hell... it IS one of my favorite movies of all time. I must attend and give Tarantino his props.

----- Lone Wolf AKA Powerslave My Kung-Fu is the best.

"It was as if the lights dimmed just for him." - Steve Buscemi, Desperado

"Into the flood again... same old trip it was back then... so I made a big mistake... try to see it once my way..." - Alice in Chains, "Would"

"Hello... my name is Berg... and I'm addicted to messing with Pete." - Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place

LOL! :) Now *there's* an idea!

Yeah, totally!

Nope. Can't. I don't have an older brother. My parents are plotting against me, and my only uncle is my mom's brother. No one will take me to Jersey! :(

Well, today I am going to the movies to see Hope Floats (whatever that is--I'm just going for the hell of it). That's at the dollar theater here (there's still some hope they'll eventually get Baseketball in!) But my mom just won't take me to Jersey ("It's a 3 hour drive! Blah, blah, blah!") Acting all squirly and strange....AARGH!

~Kyle Broslofski~

On Sun, 16 Aug 1998 16:22:53 GMT, Kyle Broslofski wrote:

Shit... just go the whole nine and get her committed.

Steal the car.

ew.

Why is it that once a month, Kyle's mom gets a bug up her ass about something, and I always end up getting screwed by it!

Well, saw Pulp Fiction. Kicked ass.

Ghostbusters next weekend. Not sure what follows... they didn't have the new schedule yet. I'll keep you abreast just in case.

----- Lone Wolf AKA Powerslave My Kung-Fu is the best.

"It was as if the lights dimmed just for him." - Steve Buscemi, Desperado

"Into the flood again... same old trip it was back then... so I made a big mistake... try to see it once my way..." - Alice in Chains, "Would"

"Just because you ARE a character doesn't mean that you HAVE character." - Winston Wolf (Harvey Keitel), Pulp Fiction

Heh heh heh....

That would kick ass!

I agree.

More than once a month--and I think there's a few porcupines there, as well as the bug! :)

Okeedokee!

~Kyle Broslofski~

Kyle Broslofski wrote:

If you really want to see "Pulp Fiction" so bad, why don't you just rent it? Or if your mom's too strict and won't let you watch it, then spend the night at a friend's house and watch it there. Or spend the night at a friend's house- either a friend who can drive or who has an older sibling who drives- and then get them to take you to see the movie.

-Toni (who's used to corrupting the youth of America)

On Fri, 14 Aug 1998 23:32:30 -0700, "Ms. Toni Dimayuga" wrote:

Actually, we were originally talking about Ghostbusters,,, but it's ALWAYS better in the theatre.

----- Lone Wolf AKA Powerslave My Kung-Fu is the best.

"It was as if the lights dimmed just for him." - Steve Buscemi, Desperado

"Into the flood again... same old trip it was back then... so I made a big mistake... try to see it once my way..." - Alice in Chains, "Would"

"Hello... my name is Berg... and I'm addicted to messing with Pete." - Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place

Oops...sorry. -Toni

Lone Wolf (Chris Baile) wrote: