- What is South Park?
If I have to tell you you'll never get it
- Is it offensive?
Fuck Yah.
- Should I post here if I find it offensive?
Yes. This newsgroup would quickly die out if all the people here actually liked the show. We need people who have had anal probes lodged firmly in their rectums to offer their misguided viewpoints
- What exactly is a Cheesy Poof?
Well, you know. You'll just be sitting there, eating your choclate chicken pot pie, when a cheesy poof will just crawl up your ass and start singing about Pig and Elephant DNA and you'll tell, "HEY CHEESY POOF STOP SINGING TO MY ANUS!"
- Is Mr. Garrison Gay?
No. He just talks that way to get chicks
- How many asses does Kathy Lee have?
Unknown as of this FAQ's writing.
- Does Eric Cartman taste better with mayonnaise or cranberry sauce
Spermicidal Jelly
8. Is mankind a projection of a greater energy on a higher plane embodied in today's religious concepts of good, evil and god or are we nothing more than stuff on a rock?
Wrong
- Is crushing shame normal after watching South Park?
Yes. Especially if you repeatedly dip your testicles in a vodlka and mustard mixture
- Am I fat or just big boned?
You have remarkably big bones in your stomach and ass
- What stars have appeared on South Park?
Goerge Clooney Patrick Duffey Elton John Brian Boytano Mr. Hanky David Caruso The Five Assed Monkey Jay Leno Marlon Brando Big Gay Al(as protrayed by Jesse Helms)
- Are fecalphilliacs welcome on this newsgroup?
Only those that are willing to share
- Killing old people: is it wrong?
Only if done in moderation
- If South Park were an animal which animal would it be?
Scuzzlebutt
- Is South Park appropriate for young children?
No. Young children should be sheltered and not told of the harsh realities that will confront them upon their coming of age. The contributions they could have made, judging from their parentage, was limited anyway.
- I met someone who doesn't like South Park. What should I do?
Use rusted forceps from an illegal abortion clinic in Ireland to flay the skin off of their ring finger while singing the theme from _Sex, Norwegian Style_ into a microtape recorder nicknamed Frank.
- What will that accomplish?
I dunno but it sounds like fun, don't it?
- Can I "have myself a time," without going down to South Park?
Yes. Masturbating on heroine is the reccomended method.
- What is Kenny saying at the opening of South Park?
It's a secret
- How can I find out when new episodes are going to air?
Why the hell are you asking me?
- Is it true that South Park is going to be cancelled by Comedy Central?
Yes. You can stop reading this newsgroup now
- Is South Park scifi?
Just 'cause South Park is more realistic, internally consistent, has higher writer competence levels and scientific plausability than Star Trek: Voyager isn't enough to make it scifi
- Is Tom Brokaw really the voice of Kenny?
No. It's Connie Chung
- I heard a rumor that [....]. Is it true?
Yes. All rumors are true. If it turns out to be false then blame your family and friends for the rest of your life in a self-sustaining cycle of guilt and reperations until, over the holidays, you kill them all with the AK-47 you won as a door prize at your local whore house. Chop them up into fine peices heating on medium-high for about 3 hours per 12 pounds. Stir well. Add water and Paprika as needed. Salt to taste and enjoy
25. If a geologist asks me to take off my clothes, climb into his van and put my feet in stirups what should I do?
Enjoy it while it lasts. Sure it seems like love but it isn't. He'll just leave you when the next person wearing leather chaps(and nothing else) walks by.
26. Science attempts to answer the question 'how' while religion offers the 'why'. This being so isn't the duality of religion and science essential to mankind's slow, but sure, climb from ignorance to the stars and what may lay around them?
Listen you commie bastard: I'm a fucking Christian, goddammit! I don't need no fancy whosewhatsit mumbo jumbo to tell me god loves guns and barefooted pregnant women who know their place and repressed homosexuality transfered into socially acceptable agression.... like hunting.
- How would I go about buying South Park episodes on tape?
Send your name, credit card # and expiration date to [email]
- Won't you need my address?
Errrrr... Yeah.
About this FAQ's Maintainer:
- Who are you?
Plain and Simple Cronan
- Are you God?
No. I am *a* god, not *the* god. The god is a fat, black, lesbian, midget named Delilah who currently resides Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
- How did you get so smart?
Tweren't Nothing
- Why have you graced us with your presence?
I have deemed you worthy
- Where can I find more FAQs of this calibre?