(Later, the bus pulls away from the bus stop, after dropping the guys off. They start walking home.) Cartman: Man, I don't feel so good! Stan: Yeah, me either. Kenny (eyes half-open): {I feel like my fucking penis is being torn out and the person who's doing it is squishing it into a ball and pulling really hard and it hurts!} Stan: Yeah, that's about how I feel. Kyle: Maybe, it was that [bleep]ing meatloaf we had for lunch. Cartman: All I know is I would've beat the crap out of that hippie Petey pisser, but my stomach felt like it was throwing a party and I wasn't invited. Stan: I don't know WHAT we were thinking when we were talking Petey out of clobbering your ass, Cartman. That meatloaf must've had us pretty [bleep]ed-up. Kyle: Yeah. Cartman: You guys, I really don't feel like getting into all of this, right now, so just shut the hell up about it, all right? Kyle: Fine. I think I'm going straight to bed when I get home. I don't really feel much like doing anything. Stan: Yeah, me, too. I'm really tired. What about you, Kenny? Kenny: {Yeah, after I puke and shit my guts out.} Cartman: I heard that. Stan: I think we should all probably do that, first. (They continue walking. Elsewhere, at Mr. Garrison's house, Garrison is tucking Mr. Hat into bed.) Garrison: Do you need anything, Mister Hat? Why don't I make you a nice toddy to help you sleep, would you like that? (Garrison fluffs the pillow.) Garrison: I swear, Mister Hat, that little bastard had no business doing what he did to you. I'm just going to have to report him to Principal Victoria tomorrow, that's all there is to it! Mr. Hat: Don't you want revenge? Garrison: Revenge? Mister Hat, he's just an eight year-old brat who doesn't know any better. Mr. Hat: You do want revenge, don't you? Garrison (thinking): Well, I suppose there's a part of me that does, but... Mr. Hat: Then TAKE IT!!! Garrison: Mister Hat, you're not suppose to interrupt me while I'm... Mr. Hat: TAKE IT!!! Garrison: No, Mister Hat. Mr. Hat: TAKE IT, GOD DAMN YOU, TAKE IT!!! Garrison: No, Mister Hat! Now, if you don't stop acting like a maniac, you're going in the sock drawer, again! (Mr. Hat says nothing.) Garrison: Now, I'll be back in a few minutes with your toddy. (Garrison leaves. Later, after midnight, Cartman is in his bed, asleep. A banging sound outside his window wakes him up. He gets up and goes to the window and the banging sound stops. Looking down, into the street, he sees Petey standing in the middle of it, looking up at him. He rubs his eyes and looks again. Petey is gone.) Cartman: Great, now I'm starting to dream about the asshole. (He goes back to bed. A few minutes later, a rattling sound wakes him up. He opens his eyes and sees a cobra posturing on his chest.) Cartman (quietly, to himself): Holy crap! (He reaches down, beside the bed, picks up a convenient stick and hits the cobra with it. The cobra gets a stupid look on its face and collapses. He looks at it for a few seconds, then throws back the covers and it along with them. He, then, jumps out of bed and rushes out of the room.) Cartman: Ma! There's a [bleep]ing snake in my God damn bed!!! (Dawn comes. Ranger Dick Hertz is on the scene and picks the cobra up with a pair of tongs and examines it.) Dick: Yep, definitely poisoness. If this snake had bitten your son, he would've died almost instantly. Mrs. Cartman: Oh, my! Dick: But, first, he would've twitched uncontrollably, like a hamster does before it dies, when you inject it with human blood. Then, his eyes would've swollen, turned reddish-purple and popped, like a wolf's balls, when the animal has had its penis sewn shut. He would've been in such agony, Mrs. Cartman, that he would've gladly welcomed death when it came. Mrs. Cartman: Oh, dear! Well, I'd just like to thank you for coming over on such short notice, Ranger Hertz. Dick: My pleasure, but you really should've called your local animal control department, and not the park service. This isn't normally my job. Mrs. Cartman: I'll remember that. (Dick puts the cobra in a container and closes it.) Dick: Well, I guess I best be off, then. Mrs. Cartman: Thanks, again, Ranger Hertz! (Dick leaves.) Mrs. Cartman: So, how are you feeling, hon'? Did that nasty snakey-wakey give momma's boy a big scare? Cartman: No, ma, I'm fine. Can I go to school, now? Mrs. Cartman: Hon' I really think you should stay home, today, and give yourself... Cartman: Ma! I really want to go to school, today! Mrs. Cartman: Oh...well, if you're sure you're up to it. Cartman: Good! Now, get out of here so I can get dressed. Mrs. Cartman: Whatever you say, dear.
TO BE CONTINUED...
----- Steve Sutton Springfield, Georgia N 32 21 13 W 81 17 56