Alright, this is my 4rth fanfic, and could you post comments? I felt that In south Park, everyone has someone, except Kyle. Stan has Wendy Kenny has Lenni Cartman has Sheila But there is nobody for Kyle! I shall change that. Alrighty... [cracks knuckles]
The Legal crap goes here.... [Song] [Shot of Mephesto's place] Mephesto: Ah, yes, now I shall create the greatest turkey of them all! [finds that the turkey genes are evil] Mephesto: Oh screw it, I'll just get drunk like the thanksgiving before last, and spout outdated terms. Forsooth! [Shot of School] Mr. Garrison: And children, that is how you use an aluminum can for inapropriate(However you spell it) uses. This method was devised by tom petty before he toured with KISS. Cartman: So what are you doing for Thanksgiving? Kenny: Your mom. Cartman: Ay, you poor hippie piece of crap!! Kenny: You fucknut, do you see me wearing love beads and tie-dye? Stan: I'm gonna Have a bigass family reunion. Kyle: We'll just have Little Meal, nothing special. Kenny: Cartman will probably beat off his dillywhacker all day. Stan: Is that something like a weedwhacker? Mr. Garrison: Boys is there a problem? I may just have to turn Mr. Hat on you. Kenny: What a faggot. Mr. Garrison: SIT IN THE CORNER!! [Kenny goes to sit on the stool in the corner] Kenny: Asswipe. Cartman: Mah Mom Will make me "A shrine to food as we know it" With turkey and stuffing, and Pie! Stan: Man, we thought that the god of fat couldn't get worse. Kyle: Yeah, Captain Lardass is about to be promoted. Cartman: Hey! I don't have to take this from some whino hippie crap faces! [Shot of Kyle walking the streets] Kyle: (Singing) I'm a jew, a lonely Jew, on Christm-(stops) Hey! This isn't Christmas! I need another song! (singing) Dig through the ditches, burn through the witches - I slam in the back of my DRAGULA!!! Do it baby, Do it baby, Burn like an animal... [Crying heard in the distance] Kyle: Who is that? Girl: Hello? Kyle: Who are you? Girl: Kat. Kat Roberts. Kyle: Is something wrong? Kat: I'm fucking crying. Of course there is a problem! Kyle: What? What is it? Kat: I can't find my family, I think someone killed them! Kyle: Where do you live? [They get to her house] Kat: See? they are nowhere to be found, plus there is blood on the floor! Kyle: Wow. This sucks ass! [Shot of Cartman's house. He has Stan, Kenny, His mom, and a bunch of Bigass moving equipment and construction workers with him. Cartman is seen with a clipboard] Cartman: Alright people, we gotta move this 20-pound Pumpkin pie onto the table. But we gotta make room for the turkey, Jello mold, Yams, and other! Stan: Cartman, you have gone too far! I thought you were a fatass before, but AFTER today? We'll have to get a forklift to get you around! Cartman: Shut the hell up! Worker: Okay little boy, where do you want the pteradaktyl?(however you spell it) Cartman: Sweeeeeeeeeetttttt!!!!!!!! Past the Pie and to the left! Kenny: Well do we get something out of this? Cartman: (Grumbling) Well, you can have SOME of the food. Stan and Kenny: All right! Cartman: Weak. [Back to Kyle and Kat] Kyle: There has got to be SOME lead to where they are! Kat: Wait, there is a piece of cloth! It looks like a Hawaiian Shirt shred! Kyle: AHA! Mephesto! We must go to his Ranch! [They go to the ranch] Kyle: (Singing)Got the Life, oh I say... Kat: Here we are. Mephesto: (drunk)Begone, damn spot! Now I have to take thee to the cleaners! Kyle: Mephesto, how dare you??? [Kat's family is chained to things that are like operating tables] Kat's Family: Kat! Thank you! We could not stop his legion of 4-assed animals! We tried to fight them, but bloody messes were few. Kyle: So THAT explains it! Kat: Diabolical! Kyle: (Sniffing)I smell alchohol... Mephesto: Blurrrgh... Thine pukey-hued one shalt arrive. Kat: Have some Coffee! (forces Mephesto to drink) Mephesto: (Sobering up) Wow. Thank you. If I were drunk for any longer, I would have killed them. [Mephesto flips a switch, and frees the Family] Kat's Dad: Kat! Boy am I glad to see you! Kat's Mom: Same! Kyle: Hey, Kat, wanna go to my friend's place to see what he's got for thanksgiving? I heard he's got a load! Kat: (To Parents) Can I check it out? After all, he did save you. Parents: Well.. okay. [At Cartman's house] Kyle: Well, I am here! Cartman: (Grumbling) Join us, in our feast. Kyle: Wow! You are kind! Kat: (to kyle)What? He's a pain in the ass most of the time? Kyle: (to kat)Yeah. [They sit down] Kenny: I shall say grace. Our Lord, thank you for bringing us this holy roller of a turkey! Also, I thank you for all the pussy in the world, and all the tits and fine asses. May we all find fortune, May we be good. Amen. All: Amen. Stan: What did you thank the lord for Cats? Kenny: (Looks at stan funny) [Hours pass] Stan: Wow that was the best meal I had in ages! Kenny: Yeah! I'm almost like cartman now! [Kenny is all fat, and his seams are about to burst] Cartman: Ay! Cartman: Woa, all that food made me gassy. Woaaaa!!! Stan: Oh no! He's gonna blow!!!!!!!! Kyle: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Worker: Fire in the hole!!!!!!!!!! [Everyone ducks and covers] Cartman: Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!! [His burp sent everything flying (Including Kenny) and destroyed half the town. Kenny gets hit by a metal bar] Stan: Oh my god, they killed.. Kenny: No, I'm fine. This flab acts as padding. And-Gaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccckkkk!! My heart! Stan: Oh my god, Cholesterol killed kenny! Kyle: (Pointing at Turkey) You bastard!!!! Kat: Oh no! Cartman: Boy, I feel better! I no longer have gas! [Everyone looks at him] Cartman: Oh Fuck you. [End]
Note: While the Relationship between Kyle and Kat seems like nothing special right now, It will grow in upcoming fanfics. Hope you liked the fic!