"Poster Names-Quotes" list?

Did that list of poster names related to Simpson quotes ever make it to snpp.com? If not, does anyone still have it? Thanks -Phil

Sure, here it is:

The Rack Aaron Hirshberg P.Piggly Hogswine Simpson Fan Kristian Ronge Alan Hamilton Jason Saslow Zed Gabagimpy Internet King Bazilla zero.cool Dr Music Swinefeld Mr Burns wavking Yama Ted S. DJ MaNiAk Chris� Sydney Assbasket

On Thu, 4 Apr 2002, Phil wrote:

No, it is not on snpp.com, since it deals with ATS. I am the current maintainer, appointed (well, sort of) by the Rack, who started the list. I'll try to post it now and then if anyone wants to add quotes about new faces on ATS :-)

I've included the list below. ->
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alt.tv.simpsons presents:
                  "Topical Quotes about ATSers" Ver 1.1
                       Last Updated: April 4th, 2002

Lines of dialogue from "The Simpsons" that reference alt.tv.simpsons participants. These quotes may be pun-based, or they may refer to the personality, habits, or background of a poster.

No fair posting quotes about yourself! Also, let's try to include all posters on the group. If you'd like to be added to the list, submit a quote of your own that refers to another ATS participant. The quote can be submitted directly to the maintainer of the list (currently Kristian Ronge, who can be contacted at [email]), or by posting to ATS with a title which clearly states your intentions, for instance by having the title "ATS quote list submission" or something similar, so that I don't miss it in my everyday browsing of ATS.

Multiple quotes pertaining to each poster are OK. If there are inaccurate quotes, feel free to correct them. If your posting handle has changed, please contact me and the file will be updated. Thanks.

I will try to post this list on a semi-regular basis to ATS to introduce the new folks here to the list. People have a tendency to come and go, and it's a good idea to include some new regulars every now and then.

Current maintainer is Kristian Ronge, [email] Previous maintainer: Chad Lehman, [email]

======================================================================= Aaron Hirshberg: -Bah. Hirshberg! Mr. Burns, I think you'll find all life's problems just float away when you're flying a kite. {tr} -There ain't no Aaron space... There's an Air & Space Museum. {tr} -Who left the lights on? Who's in here? Cletus? Cousin Merle? Big Hungry Joe? {kjk} (Katijaikat explains that "Big Hungry Joe" may be a reference to "Catch-22", which Aaron half-seriously attempts to link references with every Simpsons episode)

AcK!: -Ach! Keep off the grass! {bmc} -Eeek! I mean ACHHH, what are you doing here? (We're the new foreign exchange students from... Scotland.) {kjk} -Hurry up, man! This electric van only has 20 minutes of juice left! {tr} -There, pretty as a picture... AcK! ZOMBIES! There. Pretty as a picture. {tr}

Andrew Gill: -Let me in! Sweet, merciful Andrew McGillicuddy! Ya gotta open the door! {tr} -Let's not forget ol' Gill, huh? The wolf's knocking at ol' Gill's door. {kr}

Ash: Carrot Cat Food - 88 percent Ash, 12 percent Carrots. {kr}

ben-p(plot-ben): -No, Ben. NO! {ack} -Today on "Ben": mothers and runaway daughters reunited by their hatred of Homer Simpson. And here's your host, Gentle Ben. {kr}

Benjamin Robinson: -Benjamin [from 1F02]: Wait a minute. I'll put on my snow pants. {tr}

Bill McNeal: -But Marge, the barflies are expecting me. Larry, and Barney, and that guy who calls me Bill.

ChaiTheDog: -ChaiTheDog's an idiot. Think about it, Smithers. If ChaiTheDog came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say? If ChaiTheDog did it, sir? {ta}

Chris Pfeiler: -No one who speaks German could be an evil man. {tr} -You look at this table and all you see is a table. But a creative person like me, I look at this table and I see all KINDS of creative things. But no table. That's not a table, that's a dryer. Aaah! My files! {kjk}

Darth Arada: -Wow, what a movie! Who would've known Darth Arada was Luke's father? Thanks, Mr. "Blow-the-picture-for-me!" {tr}

dave h: -Dave!? Dave's not here, man! {ah} -I dunno, DAAAAVEY. You're getting pretty fat, DAAAAAVEY. {tr} -The man you trusted isn't Wavey Davey at all! [throws guitar overboard] {tr}

Dean Humphries(�): -Hello Dean, you're a stupid head. {ik} -...it's the work of a crusty old dean. {bmc} -NOW who's the Dean? {bmc}

DJ MaNiAk: -Country music sucks. It takes valuable time away from shock D.J.s whose cruelty and profanity... amuse us all! {tr} -Oh, no! It's the apocalypse! [Cut to: Four Horsemen in the air, throwing brimstone] {tr} (This line refers to DJ MaNiAk's "four horsemen" sig)

Doc Quack: (RIP) -God rest his smutty soul. {tr} -There's a crazy man with a scalpel in ER! He's demanding to see Doc Quack! {tr}

Don Del Grande: -Bumblebee Man: Oh, DON DEL est� me tequila? {tr} -Don Del Grande... my son... he has a trouble with the a-- Eh eh eh. [takes doughnut; blesses her] Malto vena.... That's a nice-a doughnut. {tr}

drmusic: -Country music sucks. It takes valuable time away from shock D.J.s whose cruelty and profanity... amuse us all! {tr}

Hung Like A Tuna Can: -Who's "Haw Haw-ing" now? I dunno. But he's got lethal tuna breath. {tr}

Internet King: -I wonder if <he> can provide faster nudity. {tr} -Barney: [slurring his speech] Whattabeautifullittlegirl! [belches; echoes] {tr}

Jamie aka Claude Kane IV -You maniacs! You blew it up! DAMN YOU! (ADAMYOU) ALL TO HELL! [sobs] {tr}

Jeremy Bleichman: -B... leich... the boy! B... leich... the boy! The seniors in the back. We... like... Roy! We... like... Roy! {tr} -The "GARAGE?" [mocking] Hey fellas, the "GARAGE". Well oo-la dee dah, Mr. Bleich Man. {tr} -Welcome to Itchy & Scratchyland, where nothing can possibleichman go wrong... Hmmm. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong. {tr}

Johnny Boy: -I'm not one to complain, but "Johnny Boy" hasn't been able to cut it man-wise for quite some time-- That's enough, Gloria! {tr}

Jym Dyer: -Homer, did you Jymmy open Mr. Burns' liquor cabinet? "Jymmy" is such an ugly word, Marge... unless you're talking about Jimmy Smits... [purrs] {tr} -Hurry up, man! This electric van only has 20 minutes of juice left! {tr} -What's a Jym (gym)? <beat> Ooohhhhh! a *Jym*. {dh} -When I say "Hello, Mr. Dyer" and press down on your foot like THIS, you say HELLO. {kjk}

Katijaikat: -[a bee stings Smithers, who groans] Burns: Holy Kats, man, we're starting to wobble. {tr} -Katijaikat: (Kwyjibo) a big, dumb, balding North American ape. With no chin. {ik} -KATIJAKAT!!! *AAAIGHH!!!* Don't be frightened. Our cooks are just saying "hello". Oh. HELLOOO!! *AAAIIGGH!!* {tr} -Well, Ms. Katijaikat. You'd like to get in here, wouldn't you? There's just one little problem. 36 years ago, some lady gave birth to a man named Homer J. Simp-- Oh, my god. Underage kids drinking beer without a permit! {tr} (referring to "Katburglar")

Kieran Murphy: -A sober Irishman? Even rarer. {ik} -Cos: Hey, kids! Meet Grampa Murphy! {tr} -Homer: [reading his hand] "M... Murphy. You are... a elf... uncontrollably... I think..." {tr}

Kristian Ronge: -!Ay, naranjas en la cabeza! {ik} -Homer, God didn't set your house on fire. No, but he was working in the hearts of your friends and neighbors when they went to your aid-- be they Kristian Ronge, Jew, or -- miscellaneous. {kjk} -Why, there are no children here at the four-H club, either! Am I so out of touch...? No, it's the children who are Ronge. {br}

Lando Orlando: -Can you believe he once mistook my son Lando for my son Orlando? {bm} -You might remember me from such telethons as "Out with Gout '88" and "Let's Save Lando Orlando's House". {tr}

maximum illumination (Billy Jack/Jesus the Destroyer): -60 watts? What do you think this is, a tanning salon? {tr} -This is where I would cry. But I can't--botched eye surgery. {bmc}

Michael Nusair: -Ain't no Nusair in space! There's a Nusair and Space Museum. {kjk} -Flanders: No, I kid you not. Here's the noose I had to wear for 10 years. [burns it] {tr} -You don't have to yell, Michael. I'm all around you! {tr}

Mike Reed: -"...stupid gum! [pulls it off] Let's see... number 4 1/2 reed. Woo hoo!" {tr}

Ochlocrat: -I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you! Especially those of you in the jury! {mn}

Ondre Lombard: -You might remember him from such celebrity funerals as "Ondre the Giant: We hardly knew ye." {tr}

Phil ([email]): -We had to move out once we philled the house with garbage. THE END! {tr}

Rebecca Webb: -Wait a minute... I'm confused. Why was a wolf shooting a Webb? {tr}

Rich Bunnell: -...full of Bunnelly goodness. {tr}

Sydney Assbasket: -I saw Krabapple's ass! I PAID! {ah} -Oh, don't mind Sydney. He's speaking in backward phonetics today. He said "Good Morning, Bart". {tr} -We bought a wicker basket from Pier One, and he was passed out inside! {kjk}

That Guy: -Hey. He's getting a pretty good SOUND out of that guy. {tr} -The coroner? I'm so SICK of that guy! Oh well... see you in the operating place! {tr} -Well, you should have written a song... like that guy. {tr} -(Alternatively where Marge is talking about Bart, and Homer replies. "Oh. THAT guy.") {tr}

The Abman: -Wow. McBain's ripped. You could grate <cheese> on those abs! {tr}

The Rack: -Doctor, you weren't supposed to remove his gall CHADDERACK. Put it back! Put it back! {ah} -Don't worry, it says INflammable!... inflammable means flammable? What a country! {kjk} -Have you sold that tie rack yet? {ph} -Hey Homer, how's your car coming? Oh, fine. They were putting in an onboard something-or-other and RACK-and-peanut steering. {ah} -Hmm, fabulous house, well-behaved kids, sisters-in-law dead, luxury sedan...woo hoo! I hit the CHADDERACKpot. {ah} -Marge, I'm going to build you a spice RACK. {ah} -Mmmmm... memo. {sa} -Doctor: Mrs. Simpson, I'm sorry, but your husband suffers from a persecution complex, extreme paranoia, and CHADDERACK (bladder) hostility. {ah} -Oh, it's no use. I'm _never_ going to find that tree. This whole raid was as useless as that yellow Lehman-shaped rack over there. Wait a minute...there's a Lehman behind that rack! {br,dh} -Ooh, look! A bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction! I think it's The Rack, sir. We'll see what the lab has to say about *that.* {ack} -Ooooh, what an adorable spice rack! Eight spices! Oh, some must be doubles. Or-e-GAN-o? What the hell? {kjk} -Space: The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Her mission: Maintaining CHADDERACK (bladder) control. {ah} -To everyone participating today, I salute your vigor. [aside] Check out the RACK on the blonde in the fourth row! {ah} -Uh, I just want to say that it was an honor for me to compete against the Mick and the, uh, the chick with The Rack there. {ta} -Well, your story is _very_ compelling, Mr. CHADDERACKass, I mean, uh, Simpson. {ah} -Wow, the president of Laramie Cigarettes , RACK (Jack) Larson! {ah}

wavking: -Cut the pie in half, and give each man... death. I'll take the pie. {bmc} -Thank you there, wav (Plow) King-a-li-ding! {tr}

=======================================================================
Contributors:

Aaron Hirshberg {ah} AcK! {ack} Benjamin Robinson {br} Bill McNeal {bmc} dave h. {dh} Internet King {ik} Katijaikat {kjk} Kristian Ronge {kr} Michael Nusair {mn} Phil ([email]) {ph} Sydney Assbasket {sa} TheAbman {ta} The Rack {tr}

Wait a minute there's no cane in Citizen Kane!

-Phil

Lets try this:

Dr Music:

I moved here from Canada, and they think I'm slow, eh?

Mr Burns:

Hey, who am I talking to? [4505]

Jason Saslow:

Woo! All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a TAB. [presses the TAB key]

Jake Lennington -Spinoff! Is there any word more exciting to the human mind?

Chris Pfeiler -We will go out for dinner at a sensibly priced restaurant, then have an evening of efficient German sex. -Hey German boy, go back to Germania!

• The Jolly Bengali

Kristian Ronge wrote in message news:...

[email] (The Jolly Bengali) wrote in message news:...

Listen, I don't even remember half of the things that have been attributed to me in that list, but, reading a list of Simpsons quotes is sort of like being in a coma! Apologies to http://www.snpp.com/episodes/9F17.html!

When asked what a coma is like, Grampa explains, ``It's like one of those TV shows where the show a bunch of clips from old episodes.''

I do have more stuff for Chris Pfeiler, courtesy of http://www.snpp.com/episodes/3F19.html!

Agent: Baron von Wortzenberger, on behalf of the American people, I
       apologize for...
Baron: Ja ja ja, mach schnell mit der art things, huh? I must get back
       to Dancecentrum in Struttgart in time to see Kraftwerk.
        [the agent is storing the paintings in the trunk]
Baron: Hey, und dummkopf! Watch out for the CD-changer in my trunk,
eh?
       Idiot.
        [hops in the car, turns on the radio and drives away]
  Abe: I guess he deserves it more than I do.
-- "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"

  Abe: Well, at least I got to show you I wasn't always a pathetic old
       kook...
 Bart: You never were, Grampa.
  Abe: Oh... I'd hug ya, but I know you'd just get embarrassed.
 Bart: I won't get embarrassed; I don't care who knows I love my
       Grampa.
        [both hug]
Baron: Hey, fun boys, get a room!

<Insert my nickname du jour in this space (Space Museum, Hungry Joe)>