What's the Filthiest Line/Quote from "The Simpsons"?

Hey gang~~~
   After hearing possibly the filthiest line
[Principal Skinner: "Nibbles, (the school hamster), nibble through my
ball-sack"] on a rerun the other nite, I got to thinking about whether that is
indeed the filthiest line. There have to be others that come close, if not top
that quote.
   Any nominations/suggestions for the filthiest line?

73, Keith *TASKMASTER EXTRAORDINAIRE* --Revolutions halted--Tigers tamed--Computers verified--Bars emptied-- --Uprisings quelled--Creationism disproven--Dictators overthrown-- --'Pi' calculated completley--Female minds understood--

It's only filthy if you have a sick mind, like mine, I can't help laughing when Maude says "Neddy you're tossing" this is after an argument with Homer, Marge says it to Homer, but it's not as funny.

Bazilla

On 05 Jan 2002 19:26:47 GMT, [email] (KGename) wrote:

Kent Brockman: "Thanks to you, we're all taking golden showers..."

Bart: I eat feces.
________________________________________________________________

If love of money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?

Remove "bination" to reply.

Homer at the eye doctor....."I 8 PP".

"KGename" wrote in message news:[email]...

Bart: I'm gonna go toss the virtual salad.

erp.

Flanders: It feels like I'm wearing nothing at all. . .

On 05 Jan 2002 22:16:49 GMT, [email] (GeoBQn) wrote:

nothing at all. . . . . . nothing at all. . .

----- love kasia xxx - Single n hookin'... I mean lookin' [email] icq - three two three two nine three six three www.kasia57.com http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/wishlist/2XNK88DKHH56M

Stupid Sexy Flanders!

=v= Well, all of us pull a few boners now and then, go off
half-cocked, make asses of ourselves.  I don't want to be hard
on you, and we all know that women and seamen don't mix, but I
think the clear winner is Comic Book Guy's recent lament, "If
only real chicks went down as easily as these ones do."  .-.
    <_Jym_>                                             /  /
  |\/\/\/|                                             /  /

Drunk and full of pie, KGename wrote:

"Man, you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch them in the face--and for what? For some pimply little puke to treat you like DIRT, unless you're on a team. Well, I'm BETTER than dirt--well, most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy, store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I-I can't compete with that stuff."

"All RIGHT! All RIGHT! I'll WALK in the MUD!" (stomp stomp stomp)

[And now, to be serious]

Gentlemen, start your wacking!

Smithers, I'll be squeezing my Bobo in no time.

"Do not touch Willie..." Good advice. (turns heat up)

Maude, the human wang is a beautiful thing.

Florida? But that's America's wang.

All I know is my testicles won't fit in my shorts anymore.

Clinton? I figured if anyone out there knew where to get some 'tang, it'd be you... SHUT UP!

=v= Oh, I forgot about that one. And then there's ...

Willie: Lunchlady Doris, d'ye got any grease?
Doris:  Yes.  Yes I do.
Willie: Then grease me up, woman, 'cause I'm goin' in!
Doris:  Okey dokey.
                                                        .-.  .-.
    <_Jym_>                                            /  / /  /
  |\/\/\/|                                            /  / /  /

"Jym Dyer" wrote in message news:[email]...

The Comedy Network made a hilarious promo, in which they followed that exchange with: Homer: "(whistles) He's in for some lovin'."

Dr Music P.S. Parking was ample.

'Stop kissing that cat and get in the car'

Or, Don't forget Homer's singing in the episode about the curfew, "Hilter is a jerk, Mousillini...-Now it doesn't work" We all know the complete version, or we all should.

Everyone else completely forgot the best one, from The stealing christmas special: "Shove this up your stocking"

Or Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge which includes the Scoring Pencil, or when Millhouse enters his name, "Thrillho".

   "Mmmmm, sugar walls".......

=v= Well, if you're going to count stuff interrupted in the middle
of being written, there's "I Will Not Grease The Monkey
[Bars]" that Bart wrote on the chalkboard.              .-.  .-.
    <_Jym_>                                            /  / /  /
  |\/\/\/|                                            /  / /  /

Sure, it's not complete in the sense that Nillhouse meant to enter Thrillhouse, but, that's all we saw. And to quote Comic Book Guy, in the Halloween Special with Stretch DUde & CLobber Girl, "Na-na".

How about when Skinner and Ms. Krabapal go into the janitor's closet, there's a squirting noise, and she says "oh, Seymour!" Or even in the recent one where they go broke, Bart watches Skinner and Ms. Krabapal have sex, and we hear Skinner say "C'mon Edna, don't be tardy!"

-Donny

"Travis Zdanski" wrote in message news:[email]...

I don't think he sayd "cause I'm goin' in!"
________________________________________________________________

If love of money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?

Remove "bination" to reply.

"More testicles means more iron" - LL Doris

--john

The Rack wrote:

This, of course, reminds me of another exchange from this episode:

Homer: "Should I whack fast... or slow?"

Marge: "How about fast... then slow."

Drunk and full of pie, Michael J. Astrauskas wrote:

Not sure if this is dirty, but it's cute:

Homer: [disparagingly] Dondelinger! Dondelinger: That's MR. Dondelinger!

and how can we forget:

Skinner: There will be no more mockery of your name, Mr. Glasscock.

SMITHERS: "I think women and seamen don't mix."

"dad, women won't like being shot in the face."

lisa, responding to homer's make-up gun. watch the end of virtually any porno scene. some smutty innuendo, yes sir.

On 06 Jan 2002 06:11:29 GMT, [email] (RevolverNo9) wrote:

'Women will like what I tell them to like!'

"Women will like what I tell them to like"

"But it breaks easily" "Let's just say I'm sitting in the right chair."

Travis Zdanski wrote:

Your clock appears to be wrong:

NNTP-Posting-Date: Sun, 06 Jan 2002 08:31:42 EST Date: Mon, 07 Jan 2002 08:33:39 -0500

Jim

On Sun, 6 Jan 2002, Becks wrote:

-We all know what *you* think!

/ Kristian
+-------------------------------------------------------+
|Kristian Ronge |[email]|[email]|
|d99, datateknik, KTH (Kungliga Tekniska H�gskolan)     |
|d99, Computer Science, Royal Institute of Technology   |
+-------------------------------------------------------+
-"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy
  people?"

On 05 Jan 2002 19:26:47 GMT, [email] (KGename) wrote:

Selma says:

[Sideshow] Bob, would you mind rubbing my feet?

=v= "I think I lost a filling."
    <_Jym_>                                              .--.
    [Shudders]                                          /   |\
  |\/\/\/|                                           __/____| \

I liked:

Bart (getting beat up by his football team):   Gimme a B??
Nelson:        No, but I'll tear you a new "A" !!

KGename wrote:

I always thought the end of the one where Marge almost has an affair with Jacques (Jacques to be wild) where Homer says he's "going to the car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for 10 minutes!" was good..

But the best thing in that scene is right after he says that, you can see Homer carrying Marge out the door, and the outline of the two of them makes a rather..risque picture..Homer's round head at the base of Marges very erect hair..and then when Marge puts Homers hard hat on her hair it gains a rather..helmet like appearance..

Did anyone else notice that?

"KGename" wrote in message news:[email]...

that is

top

No, because it isn't there.

Burns: "Smithers, there's a rocket in pocket!" Smithers: "you don't have to tell me sir!"

Homer saying something about reeking of panda love or something.

-Bob

"What in Blazes?" "Wow, did you see that thing, Marge?" "Ooh, Canyonaro" "Hey, a red one!" "Look at me, I'm begging you Stan" "Hey, give me some of that" "Look lis, I'm Baron Von Chickenpants" "Open Up for Marge" "WHoa, Thanks, Chick dude"

Anybody else noticed that except on the Canyonaro episode, a loose shopping cart is always going away from the Springfield Grocery store?

Lenny comments on the drink in "Flaming Moe's":

"It's like a party in my mouth, and everyone's invited"

And in "Secrets of a Successful Marriage" when Homer tries to get a job as a teacher and is afraid that he's going to let his family down, the head of the Adult Education program asks "Oh! You're married?" To which Homer replies; "It depends. Is there another way to get this job?"

"Assault Is Eternal" wrote in message news:B85E8067.ACA10%[email]...

a

"I ate more than my share of wieners *that* day!"

Dr Music P.S. Parking was ample.

shiksa.... it is spelled S- H- I-.... Uhhh there is a T in there somewhere.

Willie: "Okay Skinner, that's the last time you'll slap your Willie around !!!"

"Assault Is Eternal" wrote in message news:B85E8067.ACA10%[email]...

a

On Mon, 7 Jan 2002, Travis Zdanski stated this considered view. Waking from my doze, I hastily scrawled -

Wonder if it ends up in the local river - they do here!

Thats nothing,,at the shop n save where I work, we've got shopping carts from staples and the drug store,,which are ACROSS THE STREET from the supermarket.

On 05 Jan 2002 19:26:47 GMT, [email] (KGename) wrote:

Skinner! What's the hold up - we're loosing valuable make-out time...

It's not the line its just Agnes and Supernintendo Chalmers were on a date - they were an item - they were... you know... ;o)

KGename wrote:

"I'm gonna go toss the virtual salad." Sincerely, Little Girl

[email], , said,

Doctor Hibbert: (eating a hot dog) Delicious! Homer: I've got the presciption for you, Doctor... another hot beef injection! (hands him a hot dog)

disgusting!

In article , mariner@ (mariner) writes:

I don't remember the name of the hampster, but it's the episode that everyone gets snowed into the school and the kids take over and stick Principal Skinner in the dodgeball bag and he says, "(insert name of hampster here), chew through my ball sack!"

"Jeremy B" wrote in message news:[email]...

writes:

in

far!"

What you need is another hot beef injection

"Malibu Stacy -- America's Favorite Eight-and-a-Half-Incher"

--Message Attributes Follow-- Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 11:55:35 -0600 From: "Peter Fritz" [[email]] Organization: ExecPC Internet - Milwaukee, WI Article: Subject: Re: What's the Filthiest Line/Quote from "The Simpsons"? Newsgroup(s): alt.tv.simpsons

--Message Transcription Follows--

Nibbles was the name of the Hamster. hehehe...

It's not exactly a quote, but in the "glove slap" episode, the sign at the feed shop read:

Sneed's Feed and Seed (Formerly Chuck's)

Homer eating through the candy house: “mmmmm....sugarwalls”

[email] (leave me alone) wrote in message news:...

Moe: "Well...I ain't never said no to a dead girl yet..."

DDB

Skinner: Now, chew through my ball sack!

It's like I'm married to my best friend. Who lets me touch his boobs.

(I was eating dinner with my parents while the episode was on. This isn't something you want to hear when you're eating dinner with your parents.)

Drunk and full of pie, Katijaikat wrote:

Funny, I was at my folks house, too. Later went home and laughed my s** off.

Drunk and full of pie, The Rack wrote:

;-) Damn "s" and "a" keys so close together!

(I need more pie, and beer)

oh, i thought you laughed your shoe off. It can happen.

You don't need beer, you can stop anytime you want.

But if you were from a conservative Catholic family like me, you would have immediately grabbed the remote and switched it to something more family friendly. Like PBS. But not a nature special. When the episode came on where Moe turns his bar into "m," I was already poised to hit the "jump" button right when I knew the word "penis" would be uttered.

Oh, that's right. Laugh your liberal asses off.

Drunk and full of pie, Katijaikat wrote:

Those might show animals copulating. ;)

My folks are more conservative/moderate than liberal. But I think I heard my mom snicker with that "best friend/feel his boobs" line.

Nah, no need to change the channel. You just need to cough or sneeze or ask a loud question to someone at the moment the questionable word is said...

Austin

WANT SOME PEAS?

"Katijaikat" wrote in message news:[email]...

button

ask

YES! But how do you get peace?

Dr Music P.S. Parking was ample.

That's right Dr Music, with a knife.

On 05 Jan 2002 19:26:47 GMT, [email] (KGename) wrote:

something like this from the BBQ episode:

Homer to Dr. Hibbert: Get ready for a hot beef injection! ;o)

"Don't Touch Willie." "Good advice." Sincerely, Little Girl

On 05 Jan 2002 19:26:47 GMT, [email] (KGename) wrote:

Maybe this one!?!

Something like: John: Helen Lovejoy is as grey as a mule (or something) her cuffs don't match her collar if you know what I mean... Marge: I DON'T but I'm LOVING it...

"my ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, i want you to play with my ding-a-ling"

"Ovulate, damn you!"
________________________________________________________________

If love of money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?

Remove "bination" to reply.

Hey, Gang~~~ OK, here's a list of "filthiest lines" from The Simpsons, as nominated by almost everybody in this ng:

--Principal Skinner: "Nibbles, (the school hamster), nibble through my ball-sack"

--Maude Flanders: "Neddy, you're tossing"

--Kent Brockman: "Thanks to you, we're all taking golden showers..."

--Bart: "I eat feces."

--Homer (at the eye doctor) "I 8 PP"

--Comic Book Guy: "If only real chicks went down as easily as these ones do."

--Mayor Quimby: "Gentlemen, start your wacking!"

--Mr. Burns: "Smithers, I'll be squeezing my Bobo in no time."

--Homer: "Florida? But that's America's wang!"

--Homer?: "All I know is my testicles won't fit in my shorts anymore."

--Homer? "Clinton? I figured if anyone out there knew where to get some 'tang, it'd be you..."

--Willie: Lunchlady Doris, d'ye got any grease? Doris: Yes. Yes I do. Willie: Then grease me up, woman, 'cause I'm goin' in!

--Homer (singing): "Hilter is a jerk, Mussolini... (quick flash to other scene, then back) ...now it doesn't work"

--Ms. Krabapple (While having sex with Principal Skinner, you hear a 'squirting' sound, then): "Oh, Seymore!"

--Principal Skinner (Another sex scene with Skinner): "C'mon Edna, don't be tardy!"

--Lunch Lady Doris: "More testicles means more iron."

--Mr. Smithers: "I think women and seamen don't mix."

--Lisa: "Dad, women won't like being shot in the face."

--Bart (getting beat up by Nelson): "Gimme a B?" Nelson: "No, but I'll tear you a new 'A' !"

--Burns: "Smithers, there's a rocket in my pocket!" Smithers: "You don't have to tell me, sir!"

--Krusty: "Shiksa.... it's spelled S- H- I-.... uhhh...there's a 'T' in there somewhere..."

--Willie: "Okay Skinner, that's the last time you'll slap your Willie around!"

--Homer (upon handing Dr. Hibbert another hot dog): "I've got the presciption for you, Doctor... another hot beef injection!"

--?: "I ate my share of wieners that day!"

--John: "Helen Lovejoy is as grey as a mule (or something), and her cuffs don't match her collar if you know what I mean..."

--"My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, i want you to play with my ding-a-ling" (okay, so it's a popular oldie. But it's still filthy.)

--C'mon, there's gotta be more!

Didn't see your nomination here? Maybe it wasn't a really *filthy* line, as determined by the judges. They were looking for nothing but filth. Even better, filth that was snuck in between other lines in such a way that only the filthy-minded of us could really get, to the exclusion of the clueless viewers.

Then again, maybe your post didn't make it to me (lame excuse, but hey).

Thanks for playing our game!

73, Keith *TASKMASTER EXTRAORDINAIRE* --Revolutions halted--Tigers tamed--Computers verified--Bars emptied-- --Uprisings quelled--Creationism disproven--Dictators overthrown-- --'Pi' calculated completley--Female minds understood--

KGename wrote:

why is that filthy? It's a perfectly cromulent, I mean yiddish word. Sincerely, Little Girl

I don't think this was meant to be filthy. of course I took it that way too!

Some of you stretch your sick minds wayyyy too much. I highly doubt that was intended to be interpreted that way.

intended to be interpreted that way.

--- Yeah, you're prolly right. But considering the caliber of some of the other super-zingers, I can understand how someone might interpret it in that way.

73, Keith *TASKMASTER EXTRAORDINAIRE* --Revolutions halted--Tigers tamed--Computers verified--Bars emptied-- --Uprisings quelled--Creationism disproven--Dictators overthrown-- --'Pi' calculated completley--Female minds understood--

Haha, I wrote the last one as a joke, man.  It's not an actual line!
________________________________________________________________

If love of money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?

Remove "bination" to reply.

--- Y'know, I was scratching my head over that one- "What episode did it come from", etc. But what was I gonna do...I can't remember every episode, dammit! Oh well, I'll admit it...ya got me.

73, Keith

*TASKMASTER EXTRAORDINAIRE* --Revolutions halted--Tigers tamed--Computers verified--Bars emptied-- --Uprisings quelled--Creationism disproven--Dictators overthrown-- --'Pi' calculated completley--Female minds understood--

I cannot recall the exact wording, but it was the episode where Bart was raising flying Lizzards. Skinner mentioned that it was a species not to be confused with the "titmouse, the woodcock or the titpecker"

Sydney Assbasket wrote:

"Onetime I ate my neighbors shit." "That's understandable." Sincerely, Little Girl

Chalmers: "Well, I went to Ball State, then moved to Intercourse, PA...I'm now going to Lake Titicaca. Try making a joke out of that!"

It's not an exact quote, but it should be in the list.
________________________________________________________________

If love of money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?

Remove "bination" to reply.

Drunk and full of pie, Sydney Assbasket wrote:

LOL thanks for reminding me.

"KGename" wrote in message news:[email]...

as

better,

viewers.

I don't remember the exact quote or episode, but somewhere, sometime, Homer mentioned "glory holes."

Drunk and full of pie, R. Flowres wrote:

Wasn't it the killer dolphins segment, where he said America invented the glory hole... he was giving a pep speech to the town, before they went out and confronted the dolphins. (IIRC)

That sounds right to me...though I've only ever watched that segment once because I just can't stand it.

Kevin

Drunk and full of pie, Kevin Madden wrote:

Yeh. Kind of a weak segment... I agree.

Sugar churros, a Mexican Milhouse... need I say more?

"KGename" wrote in message news:[email]...

Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment: "Delicious Caulk!"

Lisa's Rival:
   -"Does that earring mean you're a pirate?"
   -"Kind of..."

Drunk and full of pie, KGename wrote:

Name me one person from history that became great without air conditioning.

Balzac.

No need for potty mouth just because you can't think of one.

(roughly transcribed)

Helen Lovejoy: They're having S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N! Krusty: SEX CAULDRON!!??!!?! I thought they closed that place down!

-Alex

"I'm gonna take that jelly donut, squeeze the jelly out, turn it sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!" - The Rock

"Space Mountain may be the oldest ride in the park, but it's still got the longest line! WHOO!!!" - Ric Flair

Alex wrote:

How about:

Skinner: "You did it, Nibbles! Now chew through my ball sac!"

Otto's girlfriend: "He calls our lovemaking 'the headbanger's ball' ". Frankly, I wouldn't think Otto's bed would have a headboard.

I think the funniest filthy line is when the sports equipment salesman sells Marge a groin protector for Bart, and Marge says:

"I wanta' C-U-P"

[I want to see you pee.]

The Capital City Goofball to Homer: If there's anything I can do for you, just squeeze the wheeze.

Drunk and full of pie, KGename wrote:

Mayor Quimby is ... "polling (pole-ing?) the electorate"...

"The Rack" wrote in message news:[email]...

that is

not top

We'll all be taking golden showers!

In addition to all the disgusting scenes of CGB and Agnes Skinner lovin' it up, "Worrst Episode Ever" also had the line:

"Mark down the Poochie stuff and unstick the Supergirls."

Don't know if it's been mentioned, but I saw it last night... "Gentlemen, start your whacking!"

Also:

What percentage of people here have those "A complete guide to our favorite familty" books on the Simpsons, covering all the eps? Anyone hear of plans for seasons 11+?? I just got the first one the other night. I've now got it and the 9-10 one open whenever the show comes on. And when it's not on too, but that's it.

No one will ever again make a mockery of your name, Mr. Glascock.

"Darryl Andrews" wrote in message news:...

Homer: "Do you want me to whack slow or fast? Marge: "First Slow...then fast. <giggle>"

[email] (KGename) wrote in message news:...

"ball sack" is definitely # 1. I couldn't believe they got it on the air.

In the same vein:

Homer: Name one great person who lived without air conditioning! Marge: Balsac! Homer: No need for potty mouth, Marge.

Why wouldn't they? Sure it was a double entradre but there was an actual ball sack on the screen that he was referring to. It's up to the viewer to understand the double meaning. I think the idea is that if you are old enough to get the joke then you are old enough to hear it.

Kevin

In , Kevin Madden wrote:

It's funny because it's true!

[email] (Herbie Jurvanen) wrote in message news:...

I'm not sure if this hasn't been posted already (excuse me from reading all 72 posts) but the name of the diner where Pimply-Faced Kid works at, the Gulp 'N' Blow, is kind of suggestive.

"Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"Tastey T" wrote in message news:[email]...

that

not

I think we have a new winner. From last night's episode, where Marge was getting rammed by the other drivers in the Demolition Derby.

Homer: "Hey! Stop banging my wife!"

"You won't have your Willy to jerk around any more!"

"I 'ate 'im! Yeah, and I 'ate that mess he left on me floor too!"

Ya heard me!

Homer to Scorpius: "Do you have any surgar?"

Scorpius: <reaches into his pocket> "Here you go. Sorry it's not in packages. Do you need any cream?" Homer: "aaahhhh.....no thanks."

in article [email], Jason Saslow at [email] wrote on 29/1/02 12:50 pm:

Hands down:

Lisa: We can play Clam Traffic Jam, or The Registry Of County Seats...

my

whether

if

was

Tales from the Public Domain: King of Troy (Ned): "Now throughout history, when people get wood, they'll think of Trojans."

On Wed, 10 Apr 2002 19:58:35 -0400, wrote:

Grandpa to Vegas Mom:

"Can I have another term in your oval office!?!"

or when Homer keeps saying FASTER! FASTER! When "Vegas Mom" is making him a sandwich.

AndrewR wrote:

"Oh, yeah... use both hands!"

Somebody claiming to be wrote in news:B8DA49E8.521F%[email]:

Awww, the zoning disc is warped!