The capsule for "Skinner's Sense of Snow" is now available at The Simpsons Archive, at "http://www.snpp.com/episodes.html". You may access it by following the link for episode CABF06.
We plan to have "HOMR (BABF22)" up next. (This is subject to change due to schedule and resource demands, however.) And yes, the "R" should technically be backwards.
Not among the world's web-enabled? That's okay -- a copy the CABF06 capsule follows immediately. Enjoy!
Skinner's Sense of Snow Written by Tim Long
Directed by Lance Kramer
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Production code: CABF06 Original Airdate on FOX: 17-Dec-2000
Capsule revision A (23-Sep-02)
============================================================================================================================================================ [TV Guide] A blizzard traps Skinner and Groundskeeper Willie with an assortment of students at Springfield Elementary.
[TV Guide ad] Double page advertisement for CABF06 "Skinner's Sense of Snow". It features Homer Simpson stuck in a chimney with him remarking "Ho! Ho ... D'oh!" Across the bottom it advertises four shows, including "Classic: The Simpsons -- Special Holiday Episode", a repeat of BABF07 "Grift of the Magi" as well as "All New! The Simpsons -- Springfield Gets Snowed In!", this weeks new episode.
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============================================================================== Blackboard: SCIENCE CLASS SHOULD NOT / END IN TRAGEDY
Couch: A football bounces into view, followed by all five Simpsons,
wearing uniforms. One by one, they all jump on it. Maggie
pops out of the pile with the ball. She spikes it and does a
little victory dance.==============================================================================
==============================================================================
Don Del Grande:
... the reels on the projector don't move, which only makes sense as it's
playing a DVD?
... while the school had a snow buildup, Homer's house did not?
... one of the kids said "Oh my God" when the bicycle got loose?
... whoever gives the rating at the beginning of the show didn't consider
the joke about "slap around your Willie" suggestive enough to rate it
PG-L?
... in Skinner's Vietnam flashback, he's a Sergeant, despite the truth as
revealed in 4F23?
... Bart's permanent record has its own binder? (Didn't it have its own
file drawer once?) [Tom Restivo speculates, "After Grade School
Confidential (4F09), he might have gotten his Permanent Record Drawer
expunged, only to work his way back up to a binder."]
... they managed to get through a Christmas episode without anybody singing
a carol?Ahmet Deligonul:
... Springfield Elementary is rich enough to afford an unreliable and
unsafe yet functioning DVD player?
... one of Nelson's lackeys way back from "Bart the General" is in the
classroom!
... the "Permanent Records" room has more security now (and is smaller)?
... Bart regained his original bad permanent record? He got his record
switched with Milhouse's in "Grade School Confidential"Darrel Jones:
... Apu makes a snow Vishnu?
... during Homer's final hallucination, Bart's hair looks like a blonde
version of Princess Kashmir's?Joe Klemm: ... Maggie doing a touchdown dance? ... the cracker factory guard is a Scorpio?
Haynes Lee:
... this is the fifth Xmas-themed episode? (meaning a solid week of reruns
for next year)Benjamin Robinson:
... Homer has evidently switched his football allegiance from the Dallas
Cowboys?
... at the circus, someone behind Homer is wearing a ND (Notre Dame?)
sweater?
... someone was heads-up enough to draw the kids' coats folded on their
laps, rather than simply having them disappear?
... Lisa was pretty eager to get at the forbidden permanent records?
... on the other hand, she wasn't impressed by Skinner's salary?==============================================================================
==============================================================================
- Starring
- Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Clown [?], Sideshow Mel, Radio Weatherman, Disco
Stu, Abe, Santa, Hobgoblin, Willie, Soldier 2)
- Julie Kavner (Marge)
- Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Nelson, Kearney, Ralph)
- Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
- Hank Azaria (Al, Third Man, Usher, Man, Ringmaster, Apu, Chief Wiggum,
Lou, Elf [?], Chalmers)
- Harry Shearer (Jerry, Lenny, Cap'n McAllister, Announcer, Skinner,
Brockman, Burns, Smithers, Ned, Soldier 1, Factory Guard)- Special Guest Voice
- Marcia Wallace (Edna Krabappel)
- Also Starring - Pamela Hayden (Milhouse, Martin) - Tress MacNeille (Bo Peep) - Russi Taylor (Sherri, Terri) - Karl Wiedergott (Wardrobe Mgr. [?])
==============================================================================
==============================================================================
+ "Smilla's Sense of Snow" (movie)
- episode title spoof of the Peter Hoeg film + Fox's Football Pre-game Show {bjr}
- hosts who spend as much time goofing on each as they do discussing
football + Cirque du Soleil (circus troupe)
- Cirque de Pur�e an obvious parody - No-Name Storm of 1991/"The Perfect Storm" {jc}
- multiple storm systems converging to make a really huge storm + Sherlock Holmes (fictional detective) {bjr}
- one of the closed schools, "Springfield Elementary My Dear Watson"
Detective School, uses his catchphrase + "Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (book)
- based on Mr. Skinner's description, this is the film the kids think
they will be watching
- after it's over, Milhouse calls Skinner a "grinch" {dj} - "March of the Wooden Soldiers" (movie) {jk}
- Old Xmas film at school has similarities to it (Monsters that threaten
Xmas, nursery rhyme characters) [See "Comments" section for more --
Ed.] + masturbation {jc}
- Willy says Skinner is "slapping his Willy," which is slang for this
act - "Candle in the Wind" (song) {jk}
- Princess Diana tribute song - "Oliver Twist" (novel) {hl}
- asking for more soup (cf. relish) ~ "Zero for Conduct" (movie) {al}
- 1933 French film where students revolt against an oppressive
principal, humiliate him, and escape + "The Deer Hunter" (movie) {ja}
- had a famous "di di mau" scene==============================================================================
==============================================================================
- [7G06] Dodge-ball featured {hl}
- [7F03] John Hancock's writing his name in the snow! {hl}
- [7F03] Bart summarized as an "underachiever, and proud of it"
- [8F03] Skinner must find unconventional means to escape confinement {bjr}
- [9F07] Homer also sings Mr. Plow theme song {dj}
- [9F07] Homer's Mr. Plow business mentioned {bjr}
- [9F16] Grandpa cited his life experience as spending "40 years as the night
watchman at a cranberry silo." (cf. the cracker silo guard) {ak}
- [9F18] "Johnny Tremaine" mentioned {ddg}
- [1F02] Bart misses part of an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon where something
finally happens. (i.e.: Scratchy finally getting Itchy) {ptc}
- [1F02] the dean's noticing the sound of a "pig fainting" is matched by
Lisa's ability to hear a salt silo falling over {ak}
- [1F18] The kids take over Springfield Elementary and chaos ensues {dj}
- [3F03] Bart is inside an onion sack {dj}
- [3F17] Someone visits a cracker factory {dj}
- [3F17] cruise control that drives the car for you {ddg}
- [4F10] People trapped in a snowed-in building {bjr}
- [4F10] Bart's [snow] hole, and being snowed in general {sa}
- [4F10] Someone is snowed in and starts acting crazy trying to escape {dj}
- [4F10] Homer tunneling from out of avalanche {hl}
- [4F24] Lisa says, "that's not a word" after reading a made-up word {bjr}
- [AABF15] Homer: "I think I remember my own life." (cf. "I think I know my
own life") {ptc}==============================================================================
==============================================================================
- Homer's pennants {bjr}TV SPORTS
FRENCH CIRCUS
- Circus tent banner {bjr}
CIRQUE DE PUR�E
THE EIGHTY DOLLAR CIRCUS- Movie title card {bjr}
The Christmas
That Almost Wasn't
But Then Was[holly]
Consolidated Pictures
(c) 1938- Engraving on trophy cup {bjr}
DEBATE
MEET
~ * ~
LAST
PLACE- Skinner's blackboard punishment {bjr}
I AIN'T NOT A DORKUS
I AIN'T NOT A DORKUS
I AIN'T NOT A DORKUS
I AIN'T NOT A DORKUS
I AIN'T NOT A DORK- Cracker factory silos {bjr}
SALT CRACKER
MEAL- Guard jacket label {bjr}
CRACKER
SECURITY- Guard's horoscope {bjr}
IN THE COMING WEEK
------------------
[Scorpio] YOU WILL FACE
[ sign ] CHALLENGES TODAY.
------------------
A STRANGER WILL- Chalmers' snowmobile {bjr}
SPRINGFIELD
PUBLIC SCHOOLS==============================================================================
==============================================================================
= In the scene where the snow announcements are made, the snow in the window
"blinks off" twice. {ddg}- Shouldn't Springfield Elementary at least have a two-hour delay? {jk}
- The Captain's beard is dark gray rather than white. {hl}
- Why didn't they just have everybody drop from the second floor windows -- especially just before the snow reached them? {ddg}
* Nelson (or someone else) somehow gets a bicycle into the school with three
feet of snow on the road, and the bus is the only vehicle able to get over
the roads except for Flanders's car. {sa}- Homer's mitts are of different color? {hl}
+ In skinner's flashback he was clearly being held as a POW. Why isn't he
wearing his "prisoner 21016" helmet, that he is reunited with in the b-
sharps episode. [Stephen Gutknecht says, "Might have gotten the helmet
later in the timeline of being a POW ..."] {bp}c When Ned's car crashes into the fire hydrant, the closed captioning reads, "(tires squealing)," even though we don't hear that. {bjr}
* In the time that it took Homer and Flanders to get into the car and then
get frozen by the water, the kids ate dinner and got ready for bed. Where
is Springfield Elementary, in another state? {mp}- There is a slot in the cafeteria that leads directly to the outside, but nothing leaks into the warm room until after Bart's already in the tunnel.
* The snow that Bart's digging out in front of him has nowhere to go -- where
does he put it? [{asw} suggests, "He eats it ... I don't know. Maybe he
flung it into the kitchen and it melted ..."]- Who takes Skinner out of the snow, and why? Wouldn't he be more secure in the snow?
+ Skinner complained the Princie awards were rigged in [2F19], so how'd he ever win one? {dj}
+ The permanent records door is never before seen in Skinner's office. {sa}
+ Bart tosses "Johnny Tremaine," a book that he actually enjoyed, into the library bonfire. {am}
c At the book burning, Skinner yells, "Not 'Huck Finn!' I spent hours
crossing out the sass-back." The CC has him saying, "Oh, now you're
melting innocent linoleum! What did it ever do to you?" {bjr}* If Skinner could place the ball on the surface of the snow (which he can
apparently reach with merely the length of his arm), why don't they just
escape? {mp}- A plastic ball can break a windshield? {mp}
- The snow near the cracker factory silo is too deep for Homer and Ned to drive through. {sa}
==============================================================================
============================================================================== Steve Alpert: From "I hope it's Flanders" to the lack of a farfetched ending (compared to what we've been seeing), this was the best in the last several seasons. Just having a Bart-centered episode, where Bart's at his best, makes it an A right off the bat. "What's that? You want a pee bucket on your head?" His ability to encourage revolution and to make the most of it are played up for once, ending his stereotype of just being the dumb one. His plan to dig his way out, his adorable attempt to wear the uniform and command Skinner like Skinner commanded him, and Nelson's role as enforcer of the peace all enhanced the episode. (A+)
Don Del Grande: Not only was it your typical "go through the motions" episode, but they made it worse by sticking a "Merry Christmas" bit at the end of it (well, maybe that's a blessing in disguise, as now they probably won't repeat it this season). (B-)
Ahmet Deligonul: Wow, a nice episode. The circus thing coulda been replaced by something better that lead to the awareness of the blizzard though. Hopefully the rest of the season will be entertaining like this ... (A-)
Ben Fonter: Well, although this episode certainly wasn't without the weirdness that Season 12 has become known for, the weirdness tonight was at an acceptable level. I'm soo happy this episode wasn't Homercentric, like so many others in the recent past. This episode was inventive of the writers. Imagine, undestroyable permanent records. It was funny that Homer couldn't remember his own snow plowing career. And the sick jokes just made me laugh harder at this obnoxiously funny episode. [...] It worked! But, I slightly feel abused. Anyway, this was a cheery episode, which I could follow well for the most part. So I give it a solid (B+)
Carl Johnson: Sunday's episode was a few small pieces of bark torn from the glorious trees of episodes past, attached by a whole lot of boring, humorless glue, and the result is barely gradable. This one doesn't even have the capacity to lie among such Worst Episodes Ever as "Monty Can't Buy Me Love", "Screaming Yellow Honkers," or "Little Big Mom", but I nonetheless give "Skinner's Sense of Snow" a low (D-)
Darrel Jones: I love it! It's crazy, but it works. It was wonderful to finally see the kids rebel against Skinner, and not have any retaliation or long-term hard feelings from him, for once. Homer's subplot, though too brief, was cool, especially the hallucinations. (LOVED the "ranch dressing hose"!) Too wacky for classic status, but good holiday fun nonetheless. 9/10 (A)
Joe Klemm: After a good one last year, the Simpsons return to their tradition of crappy Xmas episodes. The concept of the kids being snowed in at school was a bad idea to begin with, and it was made even worse with Skinner's bossiness. Luckily, the Cirque the Puree bit and the funny third act saved this from getting a D or lower. Personally, I would have aired this year's Futurama Xmas episode instead of this. (C-)
Adam Long: I liked it. There were lots of old-timey elements, such as the interaction with the kids at SES, and Skinner's flashbacks to Vietnam. The plot was good as well, nothing wacky and outlandish. Lots of good gags, the laughter was pretty consistent throughout, but there were some failed ones as well. (Unfortunately I didn't tape it so I can't go over it and give specific examples) Overall I thought it was pretty good, and this season is showing a refreshing change. But some old season 10-11 habits bring it to a (B+)
Michael Nusair: Hmm ... After a couple of pretty mediocre episodes in a row, we get ... Another mediocre episode. This one, however, is leaning much closer to "good" than it is to "bad." The first act wasn't so great, with a bunch of awkward jokes that didn't really work. It picked up in the second and third acts, though, which were actually pretty funny. Homer saying -- almost on reflex -- "I hope that was Flanders!" followed by him looking sheepishly at Ned, was hilarious, I thought. Definitely one of the funniest moments in a while. However, some jokes, like those in the aforementioned first act, weren't so great. If I had a better memory, I'd cite a few examples. But I don't. Anyway, CABF06 may not have been a great episode, but it certainly wasn't bad, either. (B)
Mike Reed: Not the best of the season (still CABF01) but dang close to it. The circus part, while undeniably funny had absolutely nothing to do with the plot, which makes me think it was just there to fill up space. Once the kids got snowed in school, the plot went great. I loved the movie, and most of the jokes were great. My only complaint is that there seems to be too many low-brow jokes this season. (I can think of four from this episode alone.) But that's not going to stand in the way of a great review of this one. (A)
Robert Todd: Well, It wasn't a bad episode, Skinner's favourite film was good, and the wackiness wouldn't have looked out of place in season 4. Even better, no guest stars! However Homer's attempt to rescue the Kids (stealing Ned's roof) and the Hallucination definitely took it down. Finally, Why all the double entendres? (B-)
Todd Willis: This episode one of the better ones I've seen in a while. The plot was fairly simple, but effective, and led to enough jokes that I enjoyed. I few parts of the episode were a little mediocre, but the overall quality was well above average. The ending was a little too simple, and the "Merry Christmas" was lame. (A-)
Fox Wolf: This episode will be hard to beat for future episodes. It's been a long time since I've seen an episode this good, the funny kind of good. The name "Cirque du Puree" really amused me, as did the whole circus bit, but it would be nice to have the beginning relevant to the rest of the episode for once. The plot, although it seemed too much like a blend of "Mountain of Madness" and "Kamp Krusty", was well done. All in all, it was an excellent episode, a little wacky, but at least it had a logical conclusion with that hilarious Camel-Lisa thing. I give it an (A)
Yours Truly: This episode represents one of those rare times when a good premise falls flat. Skinner and some of the students are trapped in SES after a severe snowstorm. When he lays down strict rules to keep the peace, the kids rebel. The setup is a natural -- and that may actually be the problem. These "natural" ideas often suggest an obvious resolution and, sometimes, the obvious way to go isn't the best one. I liked the more offbeat parts of the story, like the teaming of Homer and Flanders, or the weird Christmas film Skinner shows the kids. If the rest of the story took the same unusual tack, it would've rated higher. (C+)
AVERAGE GRADE: B+ (3.22) Std Dev.: 0.9247 (18 reviews computed)
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==============================================================================
Andrew Levine: "Feel Like Making Love" by Bad Company (1975 song) -- Homer didn't actually write it, but he sings it in the car.
Darrel Jones adds: [The] real writers are Bad Company's Mick Ralphs and Paul Rodgers.
Benjamin Robinson: "Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow" is heard during the wild bus ride to school. I'm guessing it's the Dean Martin version.
Benjamin Robinson: Bart's permanent record sums him up as an, "underachiever, and proud of it." This was also the tag line for just about every piece of Bart merchandise, circa 1991. It hasn't been used in a while, a fact reflected in Bart's comment, "How old is *this*?"
Benjamin Robinson explains: To most people, "circus" conjures up images of clowns, exotic animals, and exotic people performing under the big top. Cirque de Soleil (CdS) aims to change that. Like Cirque de Pur�e, CdS shuns the use of animals, on the grounds that they are poorly suited for circus life. Instead, they entertain the crowd with acrobatic stunts done on fanciful sets, enhanced with special effects. Their act looks similar to what we saw in this episode, only splashier, if you can believe it. (At their permanent show in Las Vegas, they have a pool with raised platforms that make it appear as if the performers can even walk on water!)
As you might imagine, that sort of wizardry doesn't come cheap. That Las Vegas show is a US$100 ticket, while a troupe in Orlando charges US$65 (or more) for its show. Springfield splits the difference at US$80. CdS doesn't move around that much, something alluded to when Marge mentions the family has only eight months to see Cirque de Pur�e's show. Lately, CdS has been moving to permanent installations such as the ones in Orlando and Las Vegas, where they can perform in purpose-built -- and presumably weather-resistant -- stadiums.
CdS was founded by French Canadians. Their Gallic heritage shows in the art deco and art noveau sets and costuming, the avant-garde sense of whimsy, and in the mildly existentialist atmosphere surrounding the show. It also explains Homer's "French Circus" pennant.
Jeff Cross reminisces: I can understand Bart's annoyance at every other school being cancelled in the wake of the blizzard. Growing up, my town's school superintendent was from the Minnesota, where what we Massachusetts people called a "blizzard" was considered a "flurry," and would very rarely cancel school when the snow really started pouring down.
I later went to a private high school three towns over which had students coming in as far as Maine; all it would take to get a cancellation was the highways icing over. In my junior year the snow was really coming down hard one day, and the radio cancellation lists didn't mention my school. During the ride in we were constantly switching radio stations to find out if we could go back; the towns we drove through had cancelled, and still we were on. Only when we got to the school did we learn we'd been cancelled compliments of the assistant principal waving people off from the parking lot.
Benjamin Robinson adds: I can sympathize with Bart and Lisa when Springfield Elementary decides to stay open. It seems like the schools in my district would get caught off-guard by the first snow of the season, and would close even if only half an inch of snow had fallen. Unfortunately, officials were only allowed to have so many snow days before they're forced to extend the school year to make up for it. Inevitably, they'd run out of their allotment before they ran out of winter. Also inevitably, there'd be one late-winter storm that would dump nine feet of snow on the town, shutting down everything *except* the school I went to. Boy, what a morale booster it was to trudge off to school in weather that would keep polar explorers indoors! Bart and Lisa, I feel your pain.
Joe Klemm: Skinner's comment about Cal Ripken refers to his record streak. Referred to some as the Ironman, Cal Ripken, a member of the Baltimore Orioles, holds a record of the most consecutive baseball games played. From 1982 all the way to a couple of years ago, he has never missed a single baseball game. In September,1995, he made the Major League Baseball record books as he surpassed the previous record held by Lou Gehrig.
Andrew Levine adds: Ripken finally sat out a game on September 20, 1998, after 2,632 consecutive games played.
Joe Klemm describes this film: The film that Skinner shows the class is similar to the Laurel and Hardy film, the March of the Wooden Soldiers. Based on the tale Babes in Toyland, the film features the duo as Stanley Dumb and Ollie Dee, two residents of Mother Goose Land. There, they help Tom-Tom, the Pipers son and Little Bo Peep to fall in love while, with the help of giant wooden soldiers, saving the town from Barnaby, the Crooked Man, and the Bogie Men, man-beast creatures that the hobgoblins in the school film resemble.
Haynes Lee: DVD releases of some older movies are done with straight transfer from the film resulting in poor grainy image quality. With no extra features you might as well have the video.
Joe Klemm answers Ned's question: Homer's plow was towed away, thus explaining where his plow went.
Dung Nguyen explains it for us: When Bart and Skinner are stuck in the school during the snowstorm, Skinner became Bart's prisoner. Referring to Skinner's experience during the Vietnam War, Bart used a Vietnamese phrase when he was commanding Skinner. The phrase is "DI DI MAU," which literally means "go faster," but Vietnamese speakers usually use "DI MAU." The repetition of the word "DI" creates a sense of urgency.
[Dung, Microsoft Word mangled some of the symbols in your message, so I might have guessed their plain-text counterparts incorrectly -- Ed.]
Jimmy Legs quotes the US Marine Corps dictionary:
DI-DI (Viet.): leave, go, move out. DI-DI MAU (Viet.): emphatic of Di-di.
Tom Restivo: Kristi Yamaguchi -- ladies figure skater who won the World Ladies Figure in 1991, and won the World title, US National title, and the Olympic Gold medal all in 1992. She turned pro in 1993 and is now in skating tours and Pro Skating competitions.
Benjamin Robinson: Jane Fonda was an actress who strongly opposed Vietnam War. She propagandized for the North Vietnamese cause, and I think even visited them -- during the hostilities. To this day, many Vietnam veterans have not forgiven her for this.
Benjamin Robinson writes: William Taft was President from 1908 to 1912, and later served on the Supreme Court. His term was marked by in-fighting among Republicans. That allowed Woodrow Wilson, a Democrat and the next man on the wall, to succeed him. Warren Harding, the third man shown, succeeded Wilson in 1920. Notice that the pictures were hung in order; presumably Theodore Roosevelt would be to the left of Taft, and Calvin Coolidge to the right of Harding. Hey, wow! School can be educational!
Haynes Lee adds: This is the first reference to Harding, whom had he not died in office would have been impeached.
Mike Reed transcribes the promo for this show:
Announcer: Springfield gets snowed in! Homer: One snow angel comin' up! Oh, why does that always happen? Announcer: But the kids are trapped in school, and they're taking over! Bart: We're in charge now! Skinner: This is a gross misuse of school property. Where are the dodge balls? (Skinner writes on the board)
The Haynes Lee alterna-title for this episode is: Don't Eat Yellow Snow
According to Fox (by way of Bill LaRue), this episode scored a Nielsen rating of 8.7 (13 share). This works out to 15.9 million viewers. Among adults aged 18 to 49, the rating was 7.4 (18 share).
Don Del Grande: At first, I thought "how did Skinner get 'the real Skinner's" uniform, and isn't it amazing how fell it fits" -- but then I remembered Skinner really was a Sergeant when he re-enlisted in the 100th episode.
Haynes Lee: Salt melts ice by lowering its melting point. And highly corrosive to boot.
==============================================================================
============================================================================== % Are you ready for some football? Homer sure is, and starts the day % by watching Al, Jerry, and an unnamed third man on the pre-game % show.
Al: Pigskin Preview: Denver-Green Bay -- Who do you like? Jerry: That's football, right? [the trio laughs] Well, I'm going to take the Broncos in this game, because the Packers will be blinded by Jerry's tie. [more laughter] Homer: Heh-heh-heh. Tremendous Al: I'm more worried about Al's jacket. [it is indeed a loud jacket, with a checkerboard pattern] How many stations can you get on that thing? Wardrobe Mgr.: [walks into camera view] All right, listen. I am sick of your jokes about the wardrobe. You people can dress yourselves! [walks away] Third Man: [ahem] Well, folks, he's got a point, um, with all our unscripted horseplay, we sometimes don't think about ... Homer: [on the phone] Lenny! Are you watching this? Lenny: [on the phone] Yeah, they really hurt that guy's feelings. Homer: I know! -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% The Pigskin Preview is cut short when Marge and Lisa walk in.
Marge: Ready for the circus, Homer? Homer: Circus? [words in <angle brackets> should be read in heavy French accent] Lisa: <Le Cirque de Pure�.> We've had tickets since <Septembre>. Homer: But I want to watch Brett <Favre>. Marge: Come on, Homer. They're only in town for eight months -- then they're gone. [on TV, the Pigskin Preview guys laugh it up again] Homer: Oh, I missed one of Jerry's zingers! Now I'll never catch up. -- It's like missing your favorite soap opera, "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Homer exchanges his "TV Sports" pennant for one reading, "French % Circus" -- and that's where the family goes.
Marge: Finally, a circus full of whimsy and wonder. Homer: Oh, yeah, that's way better than fun and excitement. Lisa: [reading from a pamphlet] As French-Canadians, they don't believe in refunds or exploiting animals for entertainment. Homer: Oh, I wanted to seem them fire a gorilla out of a cannon. -- That's on "Pigskin Preview," actually, "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% The family takes their seats near ringside. An usher bids the % family to enjoy the show, "for one day, we shall die." % % The show itself is less grave. Acrobats perform to colored lights % and whimsical music. Suddenly, a clown with a pushcart interrupts % the show.
Clown: Wait, wait! <Attend�z!> I cannot get the lid of my jar of rainbows. Who will help me? [points to a man in a double-breasted suit] You, sir! Man: [heavy French-Canadian accent] But I cannot help you, I am just a local merchant from ... this town. Homer: [yelling from the audience] Just smash it open! Clown: Oh, you can do it if your heart is pure -- or pur�e. [audience laughs] [the man opens the jar, and rainbow-colored light appears to spill from it. The man, who is suspended on wires, is lifted up and "flies" around the tent as more whimsical music plays] Marge: They always pick the guy with the wires. -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Later, Marge watches the female acrobats perform difficult % contortionist tricks. The exotic positions give her ideas ... on % how to clean the bathroom. Other acrobats, dressed in gray % leotards, form an elephant which rears up on its hind "legs." Marge % declares the circus "hauntingly beautiful." Not from Homer's % vantage point, it isn't. A juggler wearing very tight pants has his % personal region right in Homer's face. % % Suddenly, the wind kicks up and peels back a roof panel from the % tent.
Sideshow Mel: A storm is coming! I can feel it in my bone. Ringmaster: Mesdames and Messieurs, it appears the cloud goddess is ripe with rain babies. We must run for our trucks. [the audience runs for the exits] Homer: Oh, no, you don't! I paid full price for this freak show. Now, nourish the child within me. [threateningly, with raised fist] Nourish! -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% But the tent blows away, precluding further argument. Some of the % acrobats form a kite to ride away on the wind, but they get blown % into a tree instead. % % The radio weatherman says the storm comes from a classic nor'easter % meeting a classic "southwester." The rain is predicted to turn to % snow, so Bart is hopeful school will be cancelled. Lisa notices the % Sea Captain is hunkered down, but in reality he was tied up by rowdy % teenagers. % % The next day, Bart and Lisa listen to radio, hoping for a school % closure.
Announcer: The following schools are closed today: Shelbyville, Ogdenville, Ogdenville Tech, and Springfield Elementary ... [Bart gasps] My Dear Watson Detective School Bart: [groans] Announcer: And lastly, Springfield Elementary School ... Bart + Lisa: Yay! Announcer: ... is open. Bart + Lisa: [groan] Announcer: And it's open season on savings at Springfield Menswear ... which is closed. Bart: Oh, everyone's off but us. Marge: Oh, stop. Your father and I don't get the day off. Homer: [runs by the kitchen doorway] Lenny says we got the day off! Yippee! [runs outside] -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Homer runs out to make a snow angel. He's disappointed when it once % again becomes a snow devil, with pitchfork and horns. % % His disappointment pales next to the kids, who have to endure a % wildly out-of-control bus ride on Springfield's icy streets. To % Bart, it looks like everyone in the world has a snow day but the % students. The luckier townspeople frolic in the park. Wiggum % writes his name in the snow, apparently using the time-honored % method employed by men and boys everywhere. He asks Lou to "shake % out the last few drops," and Lou does so -- as we learn that Wiggum % was really "writing" with a thermos full of coffee. % % The student population is sparse enough that day for Skinner to % consolidate them into one room. The principal addresses his captive % audience.
Skinner: Children, I'm proud of you. Most of our students didn't bother to show up on this last day before Christmas Break, but you've kept intact my Cal Ripken-like streak of school openage. Milhouse: Hey, where are the teachers? Skinner: Eh, their union has called an emergency caucus. [cut to a ski lodge, where the teachers form a conga line] Teachers: [conga rhythm] Caucus, caucus, caucus! Caucus, caucus, caucus! Skinner: But we'll have the last laugh on those Johnny-come- notlies. We're going to watch my favorite movie about a grinchy little character who tries to steal Christmas. [pulls down a projector screen] -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Don't get your hopes up, kids. Skinner's talking about, "The % Christmas That Almost Wasn't But Then Was," a black-and-white film % from the 30s. It starts out with Santa Claus consulting with what's % obviously a stuffed reindeer.
Santa: Ho, ho, ho! What's that, Blitzen? Why, yes, it is Christmas Eve. Elf: I'm happy. [three little people wearing fake-y make-up burst through the front door] [gasps] It's the Christmas hobgoblins! [the hobgoblins run in and start knocking things over] Nelson: Hey, what the hell is this? Skinner: [laughs] It's classic mirth-making, is what it is. -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% The movie drags on. A Christmas hobgoblin serenades Little Bo Peep.
Hobgoblin: [singing] I will always love you, I will always be true, Spend my days pitching woo, to you. Milhouse: Oh, he's been singing for two hours. Lisa: This couldn't have less to do with Christmas. And I think that's a stagehand. [in the movie, a man walks on set, and then quickly backs off] Bo Peep: And I love you, too. And you and you and you, Oh, you and me, Together we can see ... [the film breaks, thankfully] Nelson: Ha-ha! Next time, get a DVD. Skinner: This *is* a DVD. [ejects a flaming DVD from the projector, and stamps it out] -- Interesting bonus feature, "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Well, it's close to the usual dismissal time, so Skinner decides to % run out the last few seconds on the clock. The kids cheer when the % dismissal bell rings.
Take off, and have a frank and productive holiday! -- Principal Skinner, "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% The kids run out of the classroom, but don't get far. The school is % snowed in, with the snow literally piled up higher than the first % floor. All the exits are blocked.
Nelson: We're trapped in the school! [kids scream] Milhouse: We're gonna miss Christmas! [kids scream louder] Skinner: I fixed the DVD! [loudest scream of all] -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% [End of Act One. Time: 6:59] % % Kent Brockman reports on the big snowstorm, which has recently been % upgraded to a Class III Kill Storm.
Brockman: And where are the city's snowplows? Sold off to billionaire Montgomery Burns in a veritable orgasm of poor planning. [cut a room on Burns's manor, where he and Smithers use two of the plows and a giant rubber ball to play snowplow polo] [Burns scores a goal] Burns: He shoots, he scores! Smithers: Perfect form, sir. [cut back to the Simpsons' living room] Marge: This is terrible! How will the kids get home? Homer: I dunno. Internet? -- Only if you have broadband, "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% The storm has brought the phone lines down, so it looks like Skinner % and the kids are stuck at the school. The students lament their % lost plans, but Skinner is unsympathetic.
Nelson: I can cut a trail through this snow. I'm part Eskimo. Skinner: I don't care if you're Kristi Yamaguchi. No one leaves the building. Bart: This stinks! We'll miss the "Itchy & Scratchy" where they finally kiss. Skinner: I don't care if they're kissing Kristi Yamaguchi -- you're not going home. Sherri: That's so unfair. Nelson: This blows. Milhouse: Skinner's the real Grinch! -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Homer and Flanders plan to rescue the children from the snowbound % school. The two men sit in Ned's Geo, with a section of house roof % attached to the front serving as a plow blade.
[Homer starts the car] Ned: Well, I'm all for rescuing the kids, but I wish you hadn't sawed off my roof. Homer: My car, your roof; it's only fair. Ned: But it's my car. Homer: Well, yeah. Ned: Hey, whatever happened to the plow from your old snowplow business? Homer: I never had a snowplow business. Ned: Sure you did -- Mr. Plow. You're wearing the jacket right now. Homer: I think I know my own life, Ned. [singing] Call Mr. Plow, that's my name; that name again is Mr. Plow. [drives out of Flanders's driveway, knocking down his mailbox as he goes] -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Back at the school, the children begin to chafe at Mr. Skinner's % restrictions, which include food rationing. Nelson tries to make a % break for it on his bike, but he bounces off the snowdrift that has % piled up at the outside cafeteria door. (The bike continues % bouncing around the cafeteria.) The failed attempt doesn't % discourage the students, who repeatedly chant, "We want out!"
Skinner: It's getting ugly out there. Think, Skinner, think! What would Superintendent Chalmers do? [Chalmers appears in a thought bubble] Chalmers: [accusingly] Skinner! [the thought bubble disappears] Skinner: Mmmm -- that's no help. [notices he's sitting on a military footlocker with his name stenciled on it] Ah, my old footlocker. Back in 'Nam I could command respect. [cut to a Vietnamese POW camp. Skinner and two other men share a cell] Soldier 1: Sarge, let's make a break for it while the guards are partying with Jane Fonda. Skinner: Nope. Too dangerous. We're all going to sit tight and reminisce about candy bars. Soldier 2: Uh, well, uh, one time, I'm eating a candy bar at the beach, and a girl starts taking off her bathing suit. Skinner: Get back to the candy bar. Soldier 1: Eh, the hell with this. I'm getting out of here. [removes a board from the cell wall, and squeezes through] Skinner: No! You fool! [an elephant captures and eats the soldier] [cut back to the present] That elephant ate my entire platoon. -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Skinner vows not to let such an unfortunate thing happen again. The % next thing we know, he appears at the cafeteria entry wearing his % Vietnam-era uniform, and really lays down the law: no talking out % of turn, and no leaving the room.
Nelson: This sucks. Skinner: Are you questioning my authority? Willie! [Willie comes over and hangs Nelson, by the vest, on a coat hook] Nelson: Ow! Mmmph -- my vest. Well, don't just stand there -- fight back! There aren't enough coat hooks to fit all of us. Skinner: Actually, there are. [counts] Five ... ten ... fifteen ... twenty. [to Sherri and Terri] Eh, can you two share a hook? Sherri + Terri: Yes, sir. Skinner: We're fine, then. Nelson: [groans] -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Homer and Flanders slowly make their way to the school, careening % off snowbanks as they go.
Ned: I think we hit something. Homer: I hope it's Flanders! [laughs, then notices Ned glaring at him] I'm just kidding. Hey, you're all right. [playfully punches Flanders on the arm] -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Meanwhile, it's lights-out for the children. Skinner sets a bucket % by Bart's head in case any of the students need to "answer nature's % call" during the night. % % Bart decides to find a way out of the school, but Lisa encourages % him to stay. For all they know, she reasons, rescuers are digging % them out right now. She's partially right; it's wolves, not rescue % workers, doing the digging. % % Back in the Geo, Homer sings along as "Feel Like Makin' Love" plays % on the radio. Homer claims to have written the song as a tribute to % Princess Di and her boyfriend Dodi. His tall tale ends when the car % smashes into a fire hydrant. Water spraying from the hydrant % quickly encases the car in a block of thick ice. The men are % trapped as surely as the children they were trying to rescue. % % At the school, Bart tries to dig his way out with a ladle. % Meanwhile, Ralph approaches Skinner's cot.
Ralph: Mr. Army Man? I can't sleep without my Reggie Rabbit. Skinner: Is that some sort of plush novelty? Ralph: Yes, ma'am. Skinner: Well, here's a scouring pad; it's just as good. Ralph: [caressing the pad to his cheek] It's cold and hurty. -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Before Skinner falls back asleep, he notices snow coming out of a % delivery chute in the wall. When he investigates, he sees that Bart % is digging a tunnel. Blowing a whistle, which rouses the other % students, he tells Bart to stop.
Skinner: I know it looks like the path to freedom, but one collapse and -- presto! -- you've got a snow casket. Bart: I was gonna put buttresses in. Skinner: Gonna, wounna, shounna. Willie, destroy it. [as the students protest, Willie inspects the tunnel] Willie: He did do a bonnie job, sir. Skinner: Defying orders, eh? Well, I see you Scotsmen are thrifty with courage, too. Willie: Okay, Skinner, that's the last time you'll slap your Willie around. I quit! Skinner: Fine. I'll do the job myself. [pokes the roof with a broom, which begins to crumble] Help! It's caving in! [the roof caves in on Skinner, leaving only his head exposed. Bart: What's the problem, Seymour? Stuck? Skinner: That's precisely the problem, and you know it. Now get me out of here! Bart: What's that? You want the pee bucket on your head? [mounts the bucket there] Skinner: No! You're twisting my words. [the students cheer] Bart: C'mon! We're taking over the school! -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% [End of Act Two. Time: 13:21] % % The kids have extracted Skinner from the collapsed snow tunnel, and % stuffed him in a burlap dodge-ball sack, cinching the opening tight % around his neck, so that only his head sticks out. With Skinner's % "reign of fussiness" over, the school is under kid control. They % take advantage the way you'd expect them to. Nelson uses a debating % team trophy to dole out pickle relish to the hungry students. % Richard and Lewis race down the hall in a pair of janitor's buckets. % Milhouse draws mustaches on the Presidential portraits, but is % stymied by a picture of the mustachioed President Taft. As the % piece de resistance, someone has put a gag on Skinner. % % Homer and Flanders assess their situation.
Homer: Oh, stupid ice! I always knew I'd die caked in something. Ned: Well, better turn off that engine before those fumes put us in tombs. Homer: Wait, let's just leave it on 'til we forget our troubles. Ned: [getting sleepy] Sounds like a plan. [Homer and Ned pass out] -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Bart makes Skinner write "I ain't not a dorkus" repeatedly on the % blackboard.
Skinner: I can't write this; it's a grammatical nightmare. Bart: [pokes him with a ruler] Mau! Di-di mau! Skinner: I'm getting a cramp in my wrist. Bart: Oh, boo-hoo. After all the times I've done it, my wrist sounds like a cement mixer. [demonstrates] -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Later, Bart makes Skinner try to climb a gym rope while still in the % sack. Nelson whips him every now and then with a towel. Skinner % protests that this is impossible, but gains no relief from Bart. % "What part of 'di-di mau' don't you understand," the boy asks. % % After that, Skinner watches helplessly as the students make a mess % of his office.
Milhouse: Hey, I got Skinner's key card! We can finally see our permanent records. Skinner: No, you can't go in there. [he does anyway. The kids cheer and begin reading through their files] Bart: [reading his file] "Underachiever and proud of it." How old is this thing? Lisa: [reading her file] "Lisa is an outstanding student with a slight tendency towards know-it-all-ism." [gasps] That's not even a word. Milhouse: Then we'll get rid of the record -- permanently. [Milhouse tears the page out of Lisa's file and rips it up. The page re-assembles and attaches itself to the binder containing Lisa's record. Then the binder jumps back in the record file with the other binders, and the file cabinet closes] -- Not much need for keeping backups, "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Nelson pulls Skinner's personnel file.
Nelson: Hey, look how much money Skinner makes. $25,000 a year! [the students say, "wow"] Bart: [putting the numbers in a calculator] Let's see, he's 40 years old times 25 grand -- whoa, he's a millionaire. [the students sound impressed] Skinner: I wasn't a principal when I was 1! Nelson: Plus, in the summer, he paints houses. Milhouse: He's a billionaire! [the students say "wow" again] Skinner: If I were a billionaire, why would I be living with my mother? [the students laugh at him] -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Skinner thinks of Nibbles, the school hamster, and sees a way out of % the mess he's in. He sneaks into the classroom where Nibbles's cage % is kept, and writes an SOS note. He places the note and the hamster % in a hamster ball, and carefully places them on top of the snow by % the window. Nibbles scoots a few yards away from the school, then % falls through the snow. Skinner curses his luck as Nelson finds % him.
Skinner: Nelson, if you get me out of this, there's a hall monitor position coming open in the spring. Nelson: I spit on your monitors. Skinner: I know. That's why the position's available. -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Meanwhile, Homer and Ned are still subdued by the fumes in % Flanders's car. Homer dreams that he is a sultan surrounded by % dancing girls.
Homer: Enough! I grow weary of your sexually suggestive dancing. Bring me my ranch dressing hose. [claps twice] [the dancing girls bring a fire hose, which shoots ranch dressing into Homer's open mouth. A camel that nudges Homer] Camel: [speaking with Flanders's voice] Homer, Homer. [back to reality] Ned: Homer, wake up! The car's filling with ... Homer: I know -- ranch dressing. [Nibbles, still in his exercise ball, crashes through the windshield] A hamster ball! Ned: Just like the one that saved Ezekiel! [the men breathe fresh air through the hole in the windshield] Homer: We're free -- and we got something to eat! -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% The ice around the car begins to melt, freeing the two Homer and % Ned. They head out for the school. Homer notices that the Geo has % cruise control. "School, please," he asks, as he takes his hands % off the wheel. The car immediately begins to spin out of control, % towards the cracker factory. % % Back at the school, the kids have started burning books in the % library.
Bart: So long, Johnny Tremaine. Your Newberry award won't save you now. [chucks the book into the fire] Skinner: Not "Huck Finn!" I spent hours crossing out the sass-back! -- No respect for good censorship, "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Flanders's car heads toward some silos at the factory.
Ned: We're going to crash! Homer: Do you have airbags? Ned: No. The Church opposes them for some reason. -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% The car hits a silo containing cracker salt. It tips over, and % slides down a hill, conveniently landing at the doorstep of % Springfield Elementary. The salt melts the snow surrounding the % school, allowing access to the front door. The students hear the % ruckus and realize that they are now free. They run out the door in % time to meet Homer and Ned, who pull up (a little worse for the % wear) in the Geo. The salt immediately rusts out the car. % % Nibbles, still in the exercise ball, rolls out of the car to % Skinner.
You did it, Nibbles. Now, chew through my ball sack. -- Principal Skinner, "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Superintendent Chalmers arrives via snowmobile.
Chalmers: Skinner! Skinner: Superintendent Chalmers. Chalmers: What are you doing in that ridiculous duffel, Seymour? And is that burning literature I smell? Skinner: Uh, well, sir ... I, uh ... Chalmers: There'd better be a good explanation for this. Bart: There is, sir. Chalmers: Ah. Then I'm happy. [rides off] -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% Bart and Skinner agree that this is one of those situations that % don't need to be discussed ever again.
Homer: Come on, kids. Let's leave this awful place and never come back. [Homer, Ned, Bart, and Lisa get in the car, and drive away] Bart: Boy, that salt really ate through the car. Lisa: And the exhaust pipe is leaking. Homer: Whuh? Lisa: And furthermore ... [metamorphs into a camel-headed creature] Hooonk! Bart: [as a dancing girl] Ignore her, effendi. We have each other. [Arabesque music plays] Homer: Oooh, baby. [cut to exterior shot of the car] Bart: Yaaah! [the car begins to swerve around the road] Homer: It's no use struggling, my beloved chalamala. [Lisa-camel steps into frame from the left, and addresses the audience] Lisa: Merry Christmas from the Simpsons! Hooonk! Hooonk! -- "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
% [End of Act Three. Time (including a flourish of music): 20:16]
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============================================================================== {ak} Andrew Kruposki {al} Andrew Levine {am} Alie Molino {asw} Alex S. Woods {bjr} Benjamin Robinson {bp} Benjamin Powers {ddg} Don Del Grande {dj} Darrel Jones {hl} Haynes Lee {ja} Jonaas Aquino {jc} Jeff Cross {jk} Joe Klemm {mp} Matt P {ptc} Paul Campa {sa} Steve Alpert
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============================================================================== This episode capsule is Copyright 2002 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer ([email]). All quoted material and episode summaries remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The Quote and Scene Summary itself is Copyright 2002 Benjamin Robinson. This capsule has been brought to you by Springfield Cracker works.
This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today.