SPOILER SPACE
All my reviews are really just simple, harmless opinions. Please discuss, but please don't be offended...
NOTE: Some of the DYNs have changed, in light of more rational thinking ;) I've also added some.
The Rack's Ubiquitous, Critical, Kick-Ass, Somewhat Anal & Useless Review "Uv" the Simpsons (TRUCKASAURUS)
Episode CABF18 "Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"
LOLs(14):
--Toys "L" Us
--Animal Control Guy: People buy 'em when they're small
and cute. Then, they flush them down
the toilet.
--"Is there any way we can enhance your dining experience by
hurting an animal?"
--Guys typing fortunes on typewriters
--Allen: "That is... is like a young me!"
Guy: "Please. Yung Mi was a *hack* compared to this guy."
--Burns: "Good heavens! It's one of those nude female fire
stations!"
--Burns: "You can lift my 'wiper' anyday."
--Burns: [quickly] "Miss. Would you submit to a wooing by a
gentleman caller?"
--Gloria: "I really feel safe with you. It's like going out
with my brother."
Burns' brain: "Yes! It's going great!"
--The filthy underpants that would stop Joan Collins herself
--Gloria: "You can really shake it..."
Burns: "Oh yes. That's totally voluntary."
--Homer carrying Burns... carrying Gloria
--Homer: "Let go of her... or I'll scream!" (Snake grabs him)
"Aaigh! Aaigh!"
--Wiggum: [coyly] "Well, we have an officer sneaking around
the back of the house, Kent. So, unless they have
a television, or they can hear my loud talking..."
[BANG!]
Eddie: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"Mildly funny (The "chuckles")(30):
--Chinese Dragon tranquilized (its tail wiggles)
--Marge: [reading] "Every house has a bathroom"
--"You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial"
--[thinks] "That's not bad!"
--Woody Allen's appearance
--"The price of stamps will climb ever higher"
(writers impressed)
--Lisa's Chinese typewriter
--Lenny: "That fortune really nailed me... and my winning
ways." (inane Lenny & Carl-like banter)
--Cap'n: "You will take a short sea voyage." Yarrr, I'll
enjoy that.
--Delivery Boy: "You know sir, tipping is customary."
Burns: "Oh, me sorry. Me no speaky Chinee!"
--Burns: "This cookie feels heavy... as if there's some paper
inside."
--Burns: "I'd always be second place to some kitten stuck
in a tree."
--Smithers cornered by stripper girls
--Burns' park job
--Gloria: You're so upbeat. You think everything's "excellent"
--"It's not how old you feel on parchment... it's how old you
feel in the humors."
--Monty taking oxygen after dancing
--Burns: I said "her"... and I said "knee"
--Bart, Lisa and Flanders after "hearing"
--Carl: Mr. Burns, can I have a raise?
Burns: [brightly] Clean out your desk, you're gone!
--Burns: "Back in a moment, my dear... we have to... uh...
expel some urine!"
--"Pistol whip"
--Killer Bees won't bother us if we won't bother them...
"On a serious note--"
--News' timely story... 20 minutes after Homer and Gloria
went missing
--The Insta-Poll: 46% say "too old", 37% say "skank"
--Homer tries to fool Snake into giving him a foot massage
--Cletus: "Hey, I want that lawyer what wears a cowboy hat!"
--Snake: "Get off my lawn, coppers! Or, I'll TOTALLY turn the
sprinklers on!"
--Brockman: "I know you've been through a lot, ma'am. But we
need you to stand in front of the burning house
and say 'Channel 6 is hot, hot, hot!'"
--Homer considers "the wiener" a muscle.
--Burns: "What do I have to do? Grow a devil beard?"Satirical Content:
--The Chinese waiter's comment about hurting animals suggests that that's the service customers expect, and restaurants provide. It's not so much about the food. The suggestion being made directly to Lisa, a staunch vegetarian and animal lover, was the most purely ironic way to do that.
--A question may cross your mind: Where do the fortunes inside Chinese fortune cookies come from? The sarcastic suggestion, in light of no information? There are writers slaving at typewriters in some back room in every restaurant. They even put the little papers directly in the machines! It's silly to assume that they're pre-printed on large sheets, and then cut into ribbons later.
--Lax prison rules... Snake was on his honor to get a pack of cigarettes, and then return.
--Twice the news media is on the ball... within twenty minutes on the kidnapping, and then at minute 2 of the stand-off. Sensationalist news that must magnify every detail of every story beyond normal proportions. The whole "making a mountain out of a molehill" vibe
--Wiggum's handling of the hostage situation; his bluntly ironic interview with Kent Brockman. Perceived police ineptness
--Brockman's attempt to get a tasteless sound byte from Gloria, as the house burns.
Creativity: The Chinese "alphabet" typewriter
Cleverness: --You can lift my "wiper" anyday (creative double-entendre) --Lady & Tramp... with a twist (the scene's been referenced before, but an interesting twist is provided by Homer)
First laugh (0:05): --Toys "L" Us
Laughed hardest at:
--Wiggum: [coyly] "Well, we have an officer sneaking around
the back of the house, Kent. So, unless they have
a television, or they can hear my loud talking..."
[BANG!]
Eddie: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"Un-funny jokes(2): --Okay... stop kicking my door. ("Stop saying hello!") --"Decrepit monkey skeleton"
Unnecessary Exposition(1):
--"Oh, these fortunes are terrible!" "Is there a problem?" "These fortunes are terrible!" (said in the same way)
It's not really unnecessary, because he says it to Marge... then gives the information to the host. But, since it only seemed to be there to beg the question "is it unnecessary", it qualifies.
Predictability: --The "snap" we heard wasn't the cookie; it was one of Burns' bones --The "car gone" system would angrily repeat "car gone" when asked for specifics --Homer would catch on fire when trying to free himself
Story Rating: None
Comments:
[A brief digression...]
"Homer, it's easy to criticize..." "Fun, too."
There's irony in Marge's message. It's really not easy to criticize. Why? Because it amounts to a random, cowardly "punch in belly" (to borrow a phrase from a recent episode) of a group of human beings. If you cut them, do they not bleed? If you tear apart their work, are they not hurt in some way? While intentions may be good on a reviewer's part, it's really difficult to give feedback about something that's not perfect without potentially hurting a writer's feelings.
I just watched [5F13] "This Little Wiggy" today, a Mike Scully produced episode. It's amazing how a "vegetable stew" from Season Nine compares with the "chicken broth" of recent seasons. Yet, criticism of the show was high on A.T.S. during Season Nine; maybe higher than now. [5F13] was never a favorite of mine, but the show had a certain "depth" that seems missing in new episodes. Bart actually has concern for Ralph's feelings as they stand outside the abandoned prison, with the bullies egging him on. Ralph isn't even close to my fav character, but I had to feel sorry for him.
In addition, the episode was full of details like velcro ceilings, and floors made of "superball". The writing was snappy, and the episode was composed of scenes that flowed into each other. This wasn't just groups of characters standing around trading quips. It was a story.
The overall "satisfaction" of the episode--like one might feel after a meal--was almost palpable, in comparison to recent years. This suggests (at least to me) that the writers aren't ignoring the fans; on the contrary. They've listened _too_ much to the fans, and have attempted to change the show when no real big change was necessary. This isn't surprising, considering the heavier criticism from A.T.S. at the time. They've tried to please the fans so hard, that they've finally come to this point. What point? Episodes have become simpler, more predictable, and extremely inoffensive.
The joyful creativity from the writing staff has seemed to give way to rote. Where once we were treated to dozens of little witty details and stories that moved us, we're now given more simple dialogue and paint-by-numbers plots. Who's fault is it? The index finger may point at the staff, but three fingers point back at the fans.
It's in this spirit that I've decided to stop grading the episodes. Truckasaurus will make regular appearances. But, I can't in good conscience throw a thing we call a "grade" out there, when it inevitably comes off as a "punch in belly." The writers are real people. Nowhere do they show us this more (recently) than on the DVD commentary. I'm sorry, writing staff, for my part in this "assault" by the fans. Please understand that we review episodes with only the best of intentions. We don't want to hurt your feelings.
[CABF18 comments]
Fox 13 (www.fox13.com) cut out three times on AT&T Broadband cable. First, during the wealthy dowager's first line; then when Burns and Smithers walk into "Girls! Girls! Girls!"; and finally after Mr. Burns says "Let's go, Smithers." The cuts were short enough that there's still a good review here... (we hope!)
Others have done plot summaries, so none is needed here. It really wasn't that difficult to summarize, however. The episode is very "yarn-ish", in that the plot follows the most objective path... until the end of Act II. IOW, nothing goes "wrong" until then. "Hunka Hunka" is very inoffensive in characterization and plot, to the point that even the conflict and resolution in Act III seem "light". Yes, CABF18 was "Simpsons Lite"... and that could be said of many recent episodes as well.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus does a good job. Her lines sound natural, making "Gloria" come to life. Never once did she sound like someone reading lines. There's a great delve into the Burns/Smithers issue when Smithers hints that he and Burns are alone... thus, Burns' only true love. Smithers and Burns are "eating in", but Monty's fortune makes him capriciously decide to go out "womanizing". This is one of his quick "changes of heart", like we observed in [3F10] "Team Homer".
We're treated to a new, wonderful Homer thought-balloon joke (cerca Seasons 3-5) with "pistol whip". A clever plot contrivance allows Homer to tag along with Burns during his "courtship": Homer's "youthful trendiness" would come in handy throughout the courting process, assesses Burns. That was good enough for a LOL, by itself. More subtle humor: Burns dismisses Homer so he can make love to Gloria, yet Homer insists that Burns is exhausted. Meaning... Homer is ready to take Monty's place...? <smile>
Right before we get the conflict, we get foreshadowing so blatant, it seems like Swartzwelder strains against the simplicity of his own plot. It's like he's saying "look how simple and predictable this plot is. Yeah, I know it's that way, BUT THIS IS WHAT THEY ASKED ME FOR! I'm sorry."
The foreshadowing: "This is the happiest day of my life. Nothing could spoil it.... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING." This line could make someone coin the term "anti-foreshadowing".
Smithers is conspicuous in his absence. After Act I, he only appears (non-speaking) with Burns at the police station. The lack of any Smithers/Burns conflict may strike one as strange, seeing how "dedicated" Waylon has been in the past. Such a conflict may have added a few "meats" to CABF18's "stew" (so to speak ;)
Much of the episode seems intent on establishing, and re-establishing Monty's "antiquated" character. Burns has "stereoptical images" of the Crimean War; he prefers "petticoats" on his dates; at times, he "expels" urine. I love his "antiquatedness", but it seemed like many of the jokes just "played the same tune." They were great, but there may have been too many instances of his "character". I love sugar, too; but, I don't love a full cup of it in my "Bevarine"...
There was plenty of social satire. But, were the writers flogging a dead horse? They've satirized the media and police so many times, it may be losing its sting. No matter. A mere appearance by Wiggum or Brockman would be satirical anyway, since "The Simpsons" is a satirical universe...
"Simpsons Lite" seems to have a detaching effect... you start watching, your eyes go out of focus as you listen; you laugh aloud a few times, and chuckle a few times. The conflict and story are simple, and inoffensive. At the end, you remember a few lines; but, there's just about as much of your insides and intellect intact as there was before you sat down to watch. Nothing changed. None of your thoughts are different. Your feelings are the same. You've seen some good TV, but it stays within the confines of that glass-and-plastic box sitting in the entertainment center. Simpsons Lite stays very politely put, between the commercials that pay for it. It disappears just as politely as it arrived. "Hunka Hunka Burns In Love" was a "Simpsons Lite" episode.
Act I... Burns meets Gloria... Act II Gloria leaves... Act III... Burns loses Gloria. It worked, but it yawned as it did its thing. It hurts to assess a show like this, because shooting a wounded duck is cruel. Swartzwelder--you're still my idol. Writers--don't let us fans drag you, or your show down. A sleepy, weary episode like CABF18 shouldn't have to ward off our slings and arrows. An old, limping dog deserves pity and love, not criticism and euthanasia.
--Marge is "sexist"... hee hee! He said a bad word!
Marge can't stand seeing a MAN single... have the years of waiting and expecting her sisters to "do something with their lives" worn Marge down on the women-married issue?
--Fun-zo does not have ace eyes
Reading the chalkboard gag, I always ask myself: what did Bart do to get that punishment? Apparently, Edna is getting liberal in her detention-giving... Bart brings an offensive candy bar to class! ;)
--We haven't lost a year YET--
It must be Chinese New Year... disproven by the actions of Animal Control. No time conflict between Marge's suggestion, and June 14th "Flag Day"
--Alligator in the toilet? Grab a plunger, Grampa
Flushing things down the toilet results in huge, deformed, sewer-living mutants. Ranks right up there with "keep digging, and you'll reach China" and "keep doing that, and you'll go blind."
--Allowance day! DING DING DING!
Something as simple as a little bell can be funny... a grieving "widow" cries her eyes out... DING! She moves to another grave, and continues...
A room full of writers struggle to come up with witty fortunes. DING! DING! tap tap tap DING!
Good, funny little sounds that are just... funny by themselves. (My microwave sounds like that when it hits 0:00... no wonder I laugh my ass off going to get popcorn)
--I like those Woody Allen movies, except for that nervous fella that's always in 'em
What's with Mr. Allen and the Asian connection? Does it come from he and Mia Farrow adopting Asian children, or his penchant for doing Japanese commercials?
There's an implied slam at Woody Allen... he himself says Homer's fortune about stamp prices is worthy of a young Woody Allen.
--Hello, China? Little help?
Are the Simpsons staff on a China kick, lately?
"Hey, China still cool. You pay later. Later!" Chinese satellites Chinatown/Dragons/Bob's Big Buddha/et al...
--Burns' park job
Burns' extraordinarily good parallel park job has extra meaning for me. In 1985, our high school girls' basketball team was on its way to winning the USA Today national championship. A certain local... "family"... of "good" fellas... apparently running a "family" business... seemed to feel it was O.K. to park their limosuines literally in the middle of the street to attend the games. William "Fat Tony" Williams "D'Amico" would have been proud.
--Any questions... pumpkin face, smelly, spiky head...?
Did Marge pair Maggie and the cactus for their "spikyness"?
--"Milhouse": a little wiener, who--lifts cans of paint
Seems like a travelling circus passed through, possibly touring with Lollapalooza a few years ago, that featured self-mutilation-type stuff. A guy would swing cinderblocks from his nipple rings, and such. Anyone remember the name of it? Homer's "wiener" comment may have been in reference to this freak circus
--My friends, the DEVIL beard walks among us!
Doesn't the "devil" Bart captures in "Homer the Heretic" look a bit like Mike Scully, what with his little "goatee-thing"? Is the staff suggesting Scully has a "devil beard"? :)
Prediction: This episode will look us in the eyes, as a plaintive
cry to stop giving episodes harsh criticism. It's the
cowering dog in the corner, the humble little match
girl out in the snow, the contrite child asking
forgiveness. It's rolled over on its back, exposing
its underbelly to us. There's nothing offensive about
it. As humble an episode as it is, maybe we'll just
encourage the writers from this point instead of
throwing angry tirades.DYN...
...The "dragon" blinks an eye as it lay in the street?
...at the beginning of the meal, there are only chopsticks...
at the end both Homer & Marge have spoons on their plates?
...there are only male fortune writers?
...the last name "Collins" is used twice? (Thomas/Joan)
...Smithers rolls his eyes at Monty's "lift my wiper" quip?
...When Marge says "new underpants" her lips are saying
"new boxers"?
...Maggie removing her pacifier when Marge brings the
food to the table?
...the dog at the amusement park (that Monty sees) and the
dog that Homer chases are one and the same?
...Monty can play a musical instrument, presumably similar
to a piano?
...we don't learn Gloria's name until the end of Act II?
...Snake knows the word "trilobite"? (He had some "student
loan payments" in the past... possibly an archaeology
student)
...Burns calls Homer his best friend?
...Snake considers "gravel and dirt" a lawn?
...both Snake and Burns use the word "totally"?
...the bong on Snake's shelf?
...the surfboard against Snake's wall? ("totally" explains
the surfer talk, dude)
...the Star Trek-like wetsuit on Snake's couch?
...the barrel with the radioactive symbol on it on Snake's
floor?
...Lou wears his police cap backwards?Previous Episode Refs:
[9F01] Brockman doing a live report at a house fire
[1F02] Homer tries to retrieve food from a dog
[1F16] Smithers responds "Oh, goodie" to an idea
antithetical to his hopes regarding Mr. Burns
(In 1F16, he wants Burns' inheritance. In CABF18, he
wants Burns' true love)
[1F21] Monty cuts a rug
[2F07] Homer runs upstairs carrying Marge... to do
you-know-what
[2F08] Marge pairs the cat and dog
[AABF08] Monty calls himself a "bad boy"/"big boy"
[AABF20] Snake's computer thievery
[AABF20] Monopoly's "Pennybags" drives away from Mr. Burns
on one of the game's vehicles
[AABF20] Homer uses reverse psychology to trick someone into
rewarding him. He fails, and gets injured (foot
massage / lightning-ice cream round)
[AABF21] Homer as a writer
[BABF02] Live Kent Brockman news update from Barney's
Bowlarama
[CABF05] Concept of criminals doing telemarketing
[CABF08] Snake on fire, with the cops presentMovies (and other) References:
~ Girls! Girls! Girls! (song) M�tley Cr�e song/video, featuring strip club and copius number of scantily dressed... "girls"
~ Herbal Essence (shampoo) "You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial" is a possible reference. A totally "organic" experience!
+ Scrooge McDuck Walt Disney character, most notably seen on Disney's adaptation of Dickens' "A Christmas Carol"
-Chad Lehman
"You crazy car. I don't know whether to eat you, or kiss you."
--John Truckasaurus