Here's a link to my revised edition of "September Morn", a script I wrote to try and show how the events of 9-11 may have affected the lives of our beloved Springfield residents. Three places to view this:
My Homepage: http://home.comcast.net/wsb-cgi-bin/ssi.cgi?PWPTool=HTMLView&State=False&wsbID=48454&GroupID=44542&Owner=24wins&SiteID=871590
The Best Simpsons site ever, Simpsons Fanworks Central: http://www.simpworks.com/forums/index.php?board=4
I shouldnt have read this...it brought back all the feelings of that day again...a day that started just like any other, it started off so innocent, a bright, beautiful day, a day that makes u happy to be alive...and then the wickedness of man shattered the serenity of that day...I could never put into words what I felt on 9-11
"A woman drove me to drink, and I didn't even have the decency to thank her" -- W. C. Fields
"Dana" wrote in message news:Iba1b.218342$YN5.149413@sccrnsc01...
to
http://home.comcast.net/wsb-cgi-bin/ssi.cgi?PWPTool=HTMLView&State=False&wsb ID=48454&GroupID=44542&Owner=24wins&SiteID=871590
I never thought I would be as disgusted as I was when I saw 3000 people being killed on 9/11. But, that was until I read this script. Heh, I love hyperbole. Anyway.....
Sappy, banal, and pathetic. Seriously, some of the post-tower stuff, like Snake foiling the guy attacking Apu, Moe giving the change back, etc, makes me want to vomit. It's almost self-parodical. Sorry.
I wanted to vomit with terror when I read this.
You couldn't have fit in at least one panda rape scene? You know, a lonely panda and a restaurant worker in a back room of Windows on the World....
evan
"Park Luck" wrote in message news:[email]...
like
makes
lonely
what point is it you are trying to make here exactly? That I am a fan of Homer vs Dignity, or indeed the Scully era in general? Sorry chum, but you should do your research - I stopped watching the show due to its appalling quality about a season before Homer vs Dignity aired.
My point was that I thought it was fucking awful (both the fan written episode, and the episode we had with the planes about two years ago). e van
"Park Luck" wrote in message news:[email]...
World....
of
you
appalling
episode,
ah, i see. the confusion arose because you wrote "...when I read THIS." underneath a quote by me. my apologies.
"Jamie" wrote in message news:bi5hd9$2bl$[email]...
love
I never thought a person could be disgusted by a written work of fiction as much as he was by the reality of watching 3,000 people die. Now I know why so many people want the Simpsons to end real soon...I think you just convinced me to join them.
"Dana" wrote in message news:cPs1b.170837$cF.59377@rwcrnsc53...
as
"Heh, I love hyperbole."
It was a joke, don't get all worked up about it.....
Now I know why
Buh?
Oh yes, anyway, thanks for taking my criticism seriously and fairly and not reacting in a negative, defensive manner, mmm-hmm......
"Jamie" wrote in message news:bi5nqc$1o2$[email]...
people
I
not
Ummm...why don't you read your post over again and then mine. I was not reacting to your critism of my script...just the tasteless comparison you chose to use. The other critism's will actually be of use to me and I appreciate them very much. They'll benefit me in my future writing...yours just leaves me shaking my head.
"Dana" wrote in message news:gqu1b.75659$[email]...
Heh,
fiction
tasteless schmaysteless.......
Eh? Why attack The Simpsons because someone's written a spoof script?
Because that's what we do around here. We attack The Simpsons because we can, and we yearn for the days of yore.
According to the WNYW schedule, they're going to show one of those old tymey episodes tonight. The one with Bart not being allowed to see the I&S movie.
Good times....good times...
evan
"Park Luck" wrote in message news:[email]...
can,
tymey
movie.
Lisa: "What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?" Bart: "Poison pizza." Homer: "Oh, no, I'm not making two stops!!"
Yours truly, Some bozo
"Dana" wrote in message news:Iba1b.218342$YN5.149413@sccrnsc01...
to
http://home.comcast.net/wsb-cgi-bin/ssi.cgi?PWPTool=HTMLView&State=False&wsbID=48454&GroupID=44542&Owner=24wins&SiteID=871590
Too sappy, right wing, untimely and boring...
"Duff Man" wrote in message news:[email]...
wrote
http://home.comcast.net/wsb-cgi-bin/ssi.cgi?PWPTool=HTMLView&State=False&wsb ID=48454&GroupID=44542&Owner=24wins&SiteID=871590
thanks for reassuring me that I wasn't being horribly unfair...
"Duff Man" wrote in message news:[email]...
wrote
http://home.comcast.net/wsb-cgi-bin/ssi.cgi?PWPTool=HTMLView&State=False&wsb ID=48454&GroupID=44542&Owner=24wins&SiteID=871590
I can see everything but "right wing." How do you see it as right wing?
Sir, You disgust me! making a mockery of a tragic event like 9/11, As it happens I knew people who were in and died at the World Trade Center on that day and to make light of it by creating a story starring the Simpsons characters that mock the events of that day is unconscionable especially when people such as myself are trying to get over the massive pain and hurt of that day and you come along and slowly pull off that bandage causing more pain and hurt ontop of the pain and hurt we are already feeling and trying to get over.
My personal opinion but you need to seek some serious psychological help because you sir are a person who gets off on other people's pain and that is just plain sick!
Read it, bozo! The script's cringingly sentimental. But it does anything but mock the events of 9/11.
"Patrick O'Healy" wrote in message news:9yB3b.11141$[email]...
Don't worry, the similarities of the characters in this story to the Simpsons characters end with the names.
I'd love to respond to your "disgusting" remarks Patrick, but I'll wait until the day you decide to actually read this piece of shit script that pokes fun at the suffering of everyone involved in the events of 9-11. I'd really like to know just how and where I wrote anything that would belittle the suffering of that day. Post it right here when you've got the chance and I'll eat every word of it!
Dana L Goudreault
"Patrick O'Healy" wrote in message news:9yB3b.11141$[email]...
I haven't seen this yet. Link please?
http://home.comcast.net/~24wins/wsb/html/view.cgi-home.html-.html
Wow that has really got to be the most asstastic thing I've ever read. Not because 9/11 was a tragedy and all, but simple because that was just pure unadulterated shit. I hope you never actuaslly get into the proffession of script writing -- if you are, and it's for a comedy show... you should be shot.
Thats fine, you've stated your opinion. Not much in the details of what exactly bothered you, which would help, but oh well. Maybe you have something of your own that you've written that you can post up here so that we can compare our writing abilities and I can become a better writer. That's what it's all about, learning by sharing. I'm anxious to see some comedy from you...other than what you've written here in your post.
"surtin" wrote in message news:[email]...
wrote to
"Dana" wrote in message news:eWW3b.230099$Oz4.62702@rwcrnsc54...
that
"Eh.....er.....well.......you do better then JERK!"
just take the criticism Dana. Btw, I've read some other stuff of yours at SFWC and it was much better than this. Still not especially good, and nowhere near good enough to make a satisfactory real episode, but competent, reasonably intelligent and amusing at least. This is far below your usual standard.
"Jamie" wrote in message news:biptv0$oof$[email]...
competent,
Yeah, I should know better Jamie, but...these people that post just to flame...most times I laugh and ignore it, but really, it's useless information. Critisism is a whole different thing and posts like yours, I'll gladly read 500 a day and mean it when I write back and say "Thank you". You hated it, but it's evident that you read it AND you gave your reasons for not liking it, not just some flip smart-ass remark. Your comments make me go back and look over what I wrote and stare at it harder to find ways to improve it...you know, look at it from a whole different angle. This story gets as many thumbs up as it does down and it has a lot to do about the subject. But your critisism is not just about th subject, but about the "writing" itself. That gets my eyes opened wider...because frankly, there are spots where I can just feel I've lost the voice of a character, even after several attempts to find it. But...somewhere down the road, after a few more re-writes are complete, I'll be a little more satisfied and hopefully change a few opinions.
I hate it when I cave in to flamers...all better now...Thanks Jamie : )
Dana
Having read this fanscript, I felt like contributing a review.
It seems a bit too unreal for the Simpsons universe. The cynicism is completely void. I can't actually imagine Krusty, Mel, Kent and Quimby socializing like that without uttering something unknowingly stupid, like most Simpsons characters do. The only thing that seemed "Simpsons" esque was Homer exploding with rage, but his onset was kind of dumb.
Once we hear about the actual plane crashes, it gets incredibly sentimental and really sucks the life out of all the characters, especially Snake and Mr. Burns, who usually have no regard for anybody and probably would have easily tried to find their own benefits first, instead of giving into the overwhelming "God Bless America" phase that occured immediately after. And Mrs. Krabappel also seems extremely forced on the sentiments. Also, Homer seems to go from injured dumbfounded boob to incredibly shocked know-it-all. Then again, even the dumbest people I know seemed extremely informed about everything that happened that day.
Also, I'm not sure the Segway was around before 9/11. If I'm not mistaken, it was unveiled in December 2001 and took at least six months before anybody really got one.
I've often wondered what would happen if the Simpsons universe faced 9/11. While it does seem real, (even the toughest of people were weighed down by that day), it makes all the the characters seem more real life and not caricatures of real people that we're familar with.
Good try though.
--Liam J. Scanlan.
I wasn't really flaming, if it came across that way -- meh. I wasn't criticising your writing abilities or anything to the like, I could tell that you could write, just the story you wrote there wasn't... good. As with anything, good or bad, it had it's moments but not enough to actually make me want to say anything good. Personally the thing I thought was wrong with it, was just the fact that it took so long to develope some things and the little jokes you did happen to throw in there were a smidge funny, but still didn't do anything for me.
In any case, I think it just needs a re-write so it actually has some of your serious moments mixed with some much needed comedic relief.
I thought the writing was good, except it didn't work as a Simpsons episode, you know what I mean? Also when ever I read, or see stuff about the day, or just before the attacks it reminds me of how incredibly simple our world seemed at 8:18 AM that day. I don't know if others have this, but in my mind, time normaly is more fluid, but when I think back to 9-11, there seems to be some kind of barier. When ever I cross it, my feelings inveribly change. Oh well, my sugestion, retool the script, ie get rid of the Simpsons characters, then it would work much better.