Capsule Submission for GABF02: Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass

Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass (GABF02)

... COMIC BOOK GUY HAS A WEBSITE...I mean, name? Jeff Albertson? ... Homer bounces normally in the moon bounce, instead of extra-bouncily? ... the steps on the Tree House are crooked, resembling the platforms from the Donkey Kong Arcade game? ... how long Lisa stares at Homer's ass before he pulls up his pants? ... Ned calls Cain and Abel a murder mystery? ... the metal-like noise when Todd unsheathes his cardboard sword? ... even Lisa likes Ned's movies? ... Dennis the Menace on the cover of "The Bible for Wise Asses"? ... Michelle Kwan always has on her skates, even on grass? ... Lisa understands Yao's Chinese?

The Passion of the Christ The Ten Commandments - Ned's movie

Donkey Kong - Homer and Mario's trash can/hammer battle

[7G10] Homer's dancing antics make their way around the world [7F05] Homer's dancing gets him a job in the sports industry [8F04] an NBA star calls Homer from the court [8F12], [5F03], [AABF08], [BABF06] previous football themed episodes [8F22] Martin plays the lute (it was on the website) [1F04] Ned appears as Lucifer H. Satan [2F31] Ned makes a biblical film (and Burns finances a film with allusions to Jesus) [5F08], [FABF15] a local carnival-type event is held [AABF14] Adam appears; Ned plays a biblical character [BABF10] what Ned's oversized loin leaf was covering is "seen" [DABF02] Burns finances a Christian cause [FABF02] SLH is dressed up to resemble another animal [FABF20] scene from this episode used in promo

Adam and Eve also had Seth, another son, and many children after him. Also Cain had a wife, presumably his sister. Rod and Todd should know that.

Well, this episode was sort of a mixed bag. On the one hand there were some really great laughs (Homer and Mario, The Passion of Cain and Abel, rapture Orange Alert) and the satire in Ned's plot was top-notch. But the lack of a central plot really hurt this episode, with some scenes seeming like they were just thrown in there for time (the practice halftime show). And since there was no plot to end, the end of the episode came too abruptly. I think it would have been better off focusing entirely on Ned's filmmaking and Marge's objections, because Homer's story was just too all over the place for my tastes. The guest stars were okay, far from being the show's worst. All in all, an acceptable effort, but easily the worst of the season, with a 7.5/10. (C)

education)

Cain and Abel is the tale of Adam and Eve's two sons: Cain ...and Abel. Cain farmed the fruits of the land, while Abel was a shepherd. One day, God asked for an offering from both brothers. Abel slew the first and fattest of his fleshy flock, whilst his brother Abel for some unknown reason (plot purposes, I guess) went out of his way to bring God his principally pedestrian produce, saving his best fruits for himself. While God was happy with Abel's generous gift, Cain's offering was rejected. Jealous of the favor that God showered upon his brother, Cain decided it was only fair to kill Abel. So he took him out into the middle of a field and stabbed him in the back. When God asked Cain where his brother was, Cain lied and said he didn't know. But since God was... well, God, he knew Cain was lying, and sentenced him to wander the Earth for the crime of fratricide, wearing upon his brow the mark of evil forever. Adam and Eve were sad for a little while about losing their two sons, but quickly replaced them with a third child, named Seth, who was Noah's great-great grandsomething. The end.

Jonah and the Whale is the tale of Jonah... and a whale (which Ned got totally wrong, that being the joke). God sent Jonah to Ninevah to tell them to stop being heathens or something. But the pressure got to Jonah, so he decided to run from God by boarding a boat headed for some unimportant destination. But God, being God, knew Jonah was ditching his responsibilities, and got pretty pissed, so he decided to punish Jonah (see a pattern here?) by sending a storm to rock the boat. The other guys on the ship decided that it wasn't worth it, and threw Jonah overboard, where a whale (sent by God) promptly ate him. For the next few days, Jonah lived on faith and whale saliva, until the whale spit him up on the beach. Jonah decided that for the rest of his life, keeping on God's good side was a good idea, so he went to Ninevah and preached the word of the Guy who sent a whale to eat him.

Solomon's Choice is the tale of two women who took their child custody case all the way to the king, Solomon. Both women claimed to be the true mother of a baby, but secretly one had merely crushed her real baby by rolling over onto her in her sleep and claimed the other woman's baby as her own. Predicting that the real mother would rather see her baby grow up with another mother than dead, Solomon proposed to cut the baby in half, and give each woman a portion of the infant. One woman agreed to the deal, while the other disagreed, and begged to let the baby live, even if it were with the other woman, revealing that she was the real mother. She got the baby, and the other woman got a fabulous consolation prize: a trip to sunny California.

Noah's Ark is like, the sequel to Cain and Abel, because they started sin and such. Once upon a time people were sinners, sodomy was rampant and prostitutes where a dime a dozen (we've come a long way). God thought that was bad and such, so he killed them all, except one guy: Noah, the direct descendant of the little brother of the first murderer and the son of the first sinners (good choice, IMO). He told him to build an ark, massive enough to carry two of every animal species (there were only a few animals back then, too much incest kept them from successfully reproducing) and his family. Flood, forty days and forty nights, dove, land, etc., etc., blah blah blah.

So what have we learned? Yes, that's right, with the exception of the American South, people were much stupider and more incestuous thousands of years ago than they are today.

http://www.dorks-gone-wild.com/ is a real site, check it out.

The following scene from the promo (which takes place at the end of the practice halftime show) failed to make it into the final cut:

Homer: Are you there brain? (A dream cloud pops up, with toasters flying in it.) Homer: I wish I was a screensaver.

Promo 1:

Announcer: After the Super Bowl, only one event can bring together Yao Ming, Warren Sapp, Tom Brady, Lebron James and Michelle Kwan... (Michelle Kwan and Milhouse are seen in OFF's backyard.) Kwan: You remind me of a young Dorothy Hammil. Milhouse: I didn't know you could talk! Announcer: It's the Simpsons 16th Season half-time sh... Homer: D'oh! (Cut to Homer and the NFL Commissioner.) Commissioner: We want you to produce this year's half time show. (A shot from FABF20 of a crowd gasping is shown. Cut to Homer in a cap and shirt labeled "choreographer" giving a thumbs up on a football field.) Announcer: It's so unpredictable, we can only show it after the game! (Scenes of Marge, Milhouse and Luanne looking shocked, a football player decking a leprechaun mascot, Tom Brady on a Segway scooter rolling across the field, trailing a sign reading "Everyone Sucks But Me", an announcer looking shocked and Homer dancing on a "Test Your Strength" pole are shown. Cut to Homer driving at night.) Homer: I wonder if any other Super Bowl producers waited until three in the morning the night before to plan their half time shows? Announcer: The Simpsons Halftime Sh-d'oh! In one week, after the Super Bowl, on FOX!

Promo 2:

Announcer: After the Super Bowl, the real spectacle begins. You haven't seen a halftime show, until you've seen it...Simpson style! (Also Sprach Zarathustra plays as the sun rises behind a yellow sphere. Two black lines pop up and curve to form Homer's hair strands. Cut to Homer and the NFL Commissioner.) Commissioner: We want you to produce this year's Super Bowl half time show. (A shot from FABF20 of a crowd gasping is shown.) Announcer: It's the Simpsons Epic 16th Season half-time sh... Homer: D'oh! (Cut to fireworks over a stadium. Homer, in biblical attire, stands in the middle of the field on a rock, as a Duff Blimp pours water onto the ground, flooding the arena.) Announcer: Even we don't know what Homer's planning, so we can only show it after the big game. (Scenes of another crowd gasping, and Homer dancing on a "Test Your Strength" pole are shown. Cut to Homer and Marge on the couch.) Homer: [disappointed] Ohhhhh. Announcer: Until then, you'll just have to imagine it. (Cut to Homer standing outside.) Homer: Are you there brain? (A dream cloud pops up, with toasters flying in it.) Homer: I wish I was a screensaver. Announcer: The Simpsons Halftime Sh-d'oh! In one week, after the Super Bowl, on FOX!

Cain, farmer. Abel, Shepherd. And their conflict. Are all those westerns, including the musical "Oklahoma!" just remakes of the Cain and Abel story?

Aaron Space Museum

Oy! Listen to [email]'s latest shpiel!

That's right:
        And again she bore his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of
        sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.
        And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought an
        offering to LORD of the fruit of the ground.
        And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of
        the fat of it. And LORD had respect to Abel and to his offering,
        but he did not have respect to Cain and to his offering. And
        Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell.
        (Gen 4:3-5, ACV)

However, in Ned's film, Abel makes a sacrifice of his "finest grains and livestock", while Cain's is apparently Snowball V/II and Santa's Little Helper.

And don't get me started on the halftime show.

Don't forget "East of Eden".

Michael

Cain

I was referring to all those westerns where the cowboy/rancher crowd was in conflict with the homesteader/farmer types. Oklahoma included. Cain farmer, Able, Shepherd. Why did Rod and Tod just start singing "Oh, the farmer and the cowboy should be friends, ..."

Aaron Space Museum

Worst ep?

The football on the bbq celebration alone made it the best of the season.

Steve Brown wrote:

<snip>

Boy, talk about the good old days. Bush has ruined everything!