The Ballad of Xino Kiner

Sep 20, 2004, 4:11 PM ET26 posts by 10 posters

26 posts

Aaron HirshbergSep 20, 2004, 4:11 PM ET

Xino Shuffle (The Ballad of Xino Kiner) Sung to the tune of "Lido Shuffle" by Boz Scaggs I know, I know, WORST SONG, EVER!

Xino missed the boat That day he surfed the net But that was all he missed He still don't get it yet

In a weird newsgroup He comes across as a dupe He just doesn't know He asks questions like: "Why are there so many gay references on the show?"

Next stop Northern Kentucky Maybe Xino will be lucky Let her roll He say, "I still don't get it that stadium reference, what's with it"

One for the road

Xino, whoa-oh-oh-oh.... He's for the money, he's for the show He's showin us what he don't know Xino, whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.... He said, "I still don't get it don't you preach, just explain Quimby's speech"

One more for the road

Xido be runnin', Havin' great big fun 'til he got the show Sayin' "Smithers is gay? I didn't know!"

He be makin' like a beeline, Headin' for the borderline, goin' for broke Sayin, "I still don't get it you guys are on a roll what's the big deal about Marge being on the "grassy knoll?"

"One more for the road"

Xino, whoa-oh-oh-oh.... He's for the money, he's for the show He's showin us what he don't know Xino, whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh....

He say "Don't make fun of me, I was born in 1993!" One more for the road

---- Instrumental Interlude ----

Xino, whoa-oh-oh-oh.... He's for the money, he's for the show He's showin us what he don't know Xino, whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh....

Aaron HirshbergSep 20, 2004, 9:32 PM ET↩ Aaron Hirshberg

[email] (Aaron Hirshberg) wrote in message news:...

As if that wasn't enough, here is another one.

The OTHER Ballad of Xino Kiner Sung to the tune of "Levon" by Elton John

Xino knows whenever we're around We'll tease him endlessly 'Cause we like to do it And we're the weirdest teasers in town

Xino, Xino thinks everything is sunny He thinks he knows a lot, they say But when he comes to this newsgroup We tease him and send him on his way

He was born after the World Wide Web was founded And the Springfield Shopper said the war's begun And "Police Cops" was reviewed on page twenty one Xino logged onto the internet today

And he shall be Xino And he shall ask a query And he shall be Xino That stadium is Jimmy Hoffa's cemetery? And he shall be Xino And he didn't understand Mayor Quimby's speech very He shall be Xino

Xino is as smart as he can be But he still doesn't know that Mayor Quimby is based on the famous philanderer US Senator Ted Kennedy

And Xino, he wants to go to Capital City Leaving Springfield far behind But Homer's already been there, And, ... AW FORGET IT

Space Mvsevm

Mark WilsonSep 20, 2004, 10:05 PM ET↩ Aaron Hirshberg

"Aaron Hirshberg" wrote in message news:[email]...

<snip>

Why is it when I heard the word "joke" and the words "please" and "explain", I immediately thought of the word "Xino?!"

NateTXSep 21, 2004, 10:44 AM ET↩ Aaron Hirshberg

"Aaron Hirshberg" wrote in message news:[email]...

Ummmm, Space, you know we love you and all, but... you seek to atone for a horrible Boz Scaggs ref by following with an Elton John ref?

It reminds me of something....(cue dreamy, flashback harp flourish)...hmmmm... something I saw on a TV show.... a long time ago...

Homer: So... how about those rainbow suspenders, huh?
 Bart: Dad...?
Homer: Pretty cool way to keep your pants up, eh?
 Bart: Dad!
Homer: I see these kids now with "Jive" printed on their shirts.
       Pftt... Now, I can teach you how you're supposed to say "jive".
 Lisa: Dad... Please just drive the car, dad.
Homer: I'm watching the road, sweetie.
       You jive turkey. See? You got to sass it. Quit jivin' me,
       turkey. You got to sass it. A "turkey" is a bad person.

Aaron HirshbergSep 21, 2004, 2:18 PM ET↩ NateTX

"NateTX" wrote in message news:...

A Wayne Campbell/Garth Algar diddldiddldin, diddldiddldin, diddldiddldin, ...

Space Mvsevm

Aaron HirshbergSep 21, 2004, 4:54 PM ET↩ NateTX

"NateTX" wrote in message news:...

Because, Xino Kiner probably never heard of them? "The Beatles"? Didn't they used to back up Paul McCartney?

Because, the only songs I could think of that were appropriate were also very old?

That song "Don't know much about History, ..." could also be appropriately reworded, but I have given Xino enough @#%$ for one week.

Wasn't there an episode where Homer was listening to a variety of 70s "Takin' care of business" kind of bands on the radio with the kids in the car, and Bart yelled out "I don't care about your lamewad music!"? We can't say for sure, we have to have flashbacks, because the Google search has been busted at www.snpp.com for a few weeks now. To paraphrase a recent LOL'er "The Google search, it does nothing."

Space Mvsevm

Tieus AlbertSep 22, 2004, 11:55 AM ET↩ Aaron Hirshberg

Homer gives, IMHO, an hilarious description of Grand Funk Railroad, and evolves it up to "The Alan Parsons Project". Note that his list does not go chronologically, but by advances in technology indicated by the names of the bands and Bart says:

"Dad! No one cares about any of your stupid dinosaur bands! You have the worst, lamest taste in music ever."

Was that the scene you were trying to remember?

Aaron HirshbergSep 23, 2004, 10:13 AM ET↩ Tieus Albert

[email] (Tieus Albert) wrote in message news:...

Ummm, .... uhhhhh, ..... (sound of running, car door slamming, tires screeching, car driving away quickly).

Space Mvsevm

Aaron HirshbergSep 21, 2004, 5:22 PM ET↩ NateTX

Another Ballad of Xino Kiner, sung to "Wonderful World"

What a wonderful, wonderful world this would be What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful world

Don't know much about history Don't know much geography Don't know much about the mafia Don't know where they buried Jimmy Hoffa (But I do know) But I do know that the Simpsons are fun Even though the people in this ng behave like Attila the Hun What a wonderful, wonderful world this would be

Don't know much about the lemon tree Don't know much about CBG Don't know much about Evergreen Terrace When I type something out, I get embarrased (But I do know) But I do know this ng is exotic Even though you guys are psychotic (A wonderful world) What a wonderful, wonderful world this would be What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful world

Now I don't claim to know about Quimby But I'm tryin' to be I think that maybe by learning about Quimby His speeches would make more sense to me

Don't know much about Sideshow Bob Fat Tony is in with the mob? Don't know nothin' 'bout Sideshow Mel Sometimes I wish you guys would go to @#$% (But I do know) Smithers is gay And Mr. Burns will figure it out someday What a wonderful, (what a) wonderful world this would be What a wonderful, wonderful world this would be

What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful world What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful world

Space Mvsevm

Aaron HirshbergSep 21, 2004, 5:01 PM ET↩ Aaron Hirshberg

And Xino, he wants to go to Reno Leaving Springfield far behind He'll travel there, very far And see the Moody Blues and Dreaderick Tatum, And won't know who they are, ....

Space Mvsevm

888eight888Sep 21, 2004, 10:25 PM ET↩ Aaron Hirshberg

[email] (Aaron Hirshberg) wrote in message news:...

You better chill out - or you might be getting your own song, soon...

Aaron HirshbergSep 24, 2004, 1:03 PM ET↩ 888eight888

Sung to the tune of "Shake Your Booty" by KC and the Sunshine Band. A dinosaur band that specialized in lame music. Because of the simplicity of this song, it could go on forever. Feel free to add your own verses.

Everybody, get on the web, let's talk One hundred percent, who not?

Xino Xino, Xino Xino Xino Kiner Xino Kiner Xino Xino, Xino Xino Xino Kiner Xino Kiner

Gary Coleman, Clancy Wiggum, Jimmy Hoffa This is what the Simpsons has to offer