Saukrates on the Creation of Life (sans Monty Python)

"Sqwertz" wrote in message news:[email]...

So I did. It seems that fast food related idiocy is contagious.

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET THROUGH TO YOU ALL ALONG!!!

Holy shit! ROTFLMAO!!! That's got to be the greatest cop-out I've ever heard. I can't wait to tell my friends about it.

Okay, okay okay okay, I'll be serious with you for a moment, if you can try to be serious with me. Help me out here. How exactly is it known to you, Mr. Sqwertz, that the Theory of Evolution is proven. Would you be so kind as to provide me with the name of the scientist or research team, along with all the details that have convinced you such as his name of course, where he is located, when did he discover the proof, what experiments has he conducted, what observations has he made, etc. If you like you can e-mail this info to me privately if you're afraid the Christians will come burn your house down. I solemnly promise to you Sqwertz that I won't call my local neighborhood church and forward to them your personal info.

In a few years I will have 24/7 access to some of the most advanced scientific equipment in the world. If I can somehow duplicate the experiments successfully and come to the same conclusions, I will announce to the world myself that evolution is true, using my own name. I'm not afraid of Ned Flanders. I can kick his ass, or any Christian's ass in any circumstance. In fact even if I were to be killed, nothing would make me happier than to die as a martyr for science.

So again Sqwertz if you could be so kind to forward that info to me, I'll take it from there and settle this debate once and for all.

Excuse me, but *I'm* not the one on trial here, Mr. Sqwertz. *You're* the one making the bogus claim that the Theory of Evolution is proven.

I'm just trying to keep it as on-topic as possible.

Has anyone else in a.t.s heard this fact before? I never have. It's not well-known here, buddy.

Well you certainly speak as if your brain is under the influence of SOMETHING. From where I'm sitting, I can't tell exactly WHAT.

As I originally said, even if it exists, it is not yet known to Man. Only a conceited scientist would claim that Mankind is aware of EVERYTHING in the Universe. My point was that if both of our current theories of the origin of Man are false, then there MUST be at least one other possible explanation. (side note: I'm aware of the Theory of Intelligent Design, which is growing in popularity. I consider this to be a sort of scientific equivalent theory to the theological Theory of Creation)

Dumbass, Latin is the language of the educated. No small wonder you didn't know that.

I assume this means that you are off to College soon Xino. Good for you. But if you do prove the theory of evolution, you will not have to worry about a cartoon character threatening you.

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/BABF22

Homer: Better. I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there's no God. [shows Flanders a

English is not the universal language of science. For many years German was. Scientific papers are published in a variety of languages.

Latin? Is that thing still around? Do they have it on computers yet?

Mr. Mvsevm

[email] wrote:

They are first published in English. Always. English is the dominant language in communications, science, business, and diplomacy.

Read the book, written and published by Germans. Or you can just ask around which would be more a cartoon-watcher's speed.

http://www.amazon.com/Dominance-English-Language-Science-Contributions/dp/311016647X

If it "used to be German" then what is it now? Duh.

-sw

That may not be *entirely* accurate, Mr. Hirshburg. I'm pretty sure there will be plutonium on campus, so don't forget about what happed in episode AABF01 when Marge took the batteries for the remore. (sic) But then I suppose THOH episodes aren't considered "reality".

Actually, the matter of Science vs. Religion was settled in episode 5F05.

Yes, but you have to be registered first before anyone can see your posts.

Speaking of the Internet, last week my brother Kevin logged on to his internet.

You heard me.

AFF-F is a serious group. We are mostly Anti-Fast Food Fanatics that believe that people should cook their own food and eat healthy the majority of the time.

The exception to our group is your "fat, smelly, lazy, stupid" (your words, not ours) brother Jerry. We are determined to save him and make him see the Evil of his ways before he has a heart attack at age 32. He the reason we exist here in AFF-F.

Now compare AFF-F to a bunch of overgrown children who have created their own group (ATS) to talk about a silly little cartoon show as if it's the Guiding Light.

With that in mind, try and explain "fast food idiocy" in the same paragraph as your unusual fixation on the Cartoon World of the Simpsons.

OK, so that was rhetorical. But you get the point.

Uh, no. You said you were not involved in an argument. To quote, "So how can I be losing 3-0 in an argument of which I am not even participating?"

Does this sound familiar to anybody? It sure sounds like Jerry Sauk. Especially with the all caps and the denial of posts he wrote just yesterday

<yawn>. OK, How about every scientist that has ever studied evolution, starting with Charles Darwin (you DO know who that is, right?).

"In science, a "fact" typically refers to an observation, measurement, or other form of evidence that can be expected to occur the same way under similar circumstances. However, scientists also use the term "fact" to refer to a scientific explanation that has been tested and confirmed so many times that there is no longer a compelling reason to keep testing it or looking for additional examples. IN THAT RESPECT, THE PAST AND CONTINUING OCCURRENCE OF EVOLUTION IS A SCIENTIFIC FACT. Because the evidence supporting it is so strong, SCIENTISTS *NO LONGER* QUESTION WHETHER BIOLOGICAL EVOLUTION HAS OCCURRED AND IS CONTINUING TO OCCUR. Instead, they investigate the mechanisms of evolution, how rapidly evolution can take place, and related questions."

That is from the National Academy of Science. And it speaks for every scientist ever involved in the evolutionary process.

http://nationalacademies.org/evolution/TheoryOrFact.html

If you further question their claims, then check out their other great resources on Evolution. You might want to take a moment to read them rather than memorizing Simpsons episodes:

http://nationalacademies.org/evolution/

Are you donating your living body to research? Are you going to be one of those brains floating in blue liquid with all sort of tubes hooked up to you making you look like an octopus? (ObATS: Wait a sec ... isn't that a Simpsons episode?. Sheesh - you really *DO* take the Simpsons seriously).

Uhh, you're about 50 years too late. I would much rather you turn your alternate reality, this "third theory" (which hasn't even been established as a hypothesis yet), into a reality that will make you famous.

See above.

Slam Dunk. The score is: Sqwertz 5. Jesse Sauk Kiner 0

You know, Jerry was really counting on you to kick my ass at this debate, and you're really letting him down. This is gonna cost you at least a dozen Value Meals (ObAFF-F).

Heh. Yeah - it's the language of those educated in an archaic, inefficient language.

You know, I've really been wondering about something. Your mother is a nurse, your father a Doctor. Your half-brother Jerry (AKA Batman), who is 15 years your elder is dumb as a rock. You and your brother, twins no less, hint at being really smart - even your dumb as a rock brother boasts how much smarter you guys are than he. You are certainly on the opposite end of the spectrum from your brother (but who isn't?).

What KIND of doctor is your father? I suspect that he's involved in genetic research as a sideline to his fertility research. His first experiment failed miserably - that was Jerry. His fifth experiment(*), 15 years later was finally successful. He was so confident that he made twins. And this is why your parents let Jerry live at home through his 30's - they feel responsible. It all makes sense now.

This has all the makings of a really bad Robin Cook novel.

(*) You don't want to know what happened to experiments #2 and #4. #3 was your sister.

-sw

No. "The Guiding Light" was a crappy soap opera. You know, one of those shows where a woman says she is pregnant on Monday, and the kid is arrested for DUI on Friday. Meanwhile, on the same show in the same universe, a guy enters his house and is suprised by what he sees. And six months later he is still by the front door, and we haven't yet seen what suprised him. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guiding_Light

Homer eats at Krustyburger. You better try to save him. We like the Simpsons because it satirizies people like fast food addicts. SUPERSIZE ME.

Mr. Mvsevm

"Sqwertz" wrote in message news:gvgqqa$i96$[email]...

Mr. Sqwertz, I really am embarrassed for you for posting that link to the National "Academy" of Sciences. But more on that later.

Actually this post is just a request that you sit tight for a few days, for I WILL respond to your post once I have a little more time, probably this weekend sometime. It's just that right now I have more urgent academic matters to which I absolutely must attend, and my mom lets me drink only so much coffee. Don't worry, I'll get back to you before you evolve into an intelligent creature. It's just that I want to have a chance to read *every* word on that website before I start commenting on it. Although I can already see that there are several points there that either you missed, or you are hoping that *I* will miss. More on that later. Have a good rest of the week,

XINO

Xino Kiner wrote:

You asked for the name of a scientist who believes that Evolution is a fact. I gave you several hundred - thousands, even. End of story. So stop your backpedaling right now.

You will, in the usual Kook fashion, attempt to discredit them all with your juvenile opinions. But not to worry - I have a few dozen more purely scientific organizations lined up behind them.

Ahh. You have to send this argument out to a team of professional, Latin Mastur Debaters. I gotch ya.

I'll be waiting for their responses.

But if that's all your going to do is try and discredit thousands of scientists with pure conjecture in your usual, condescending narcissistic manner, then please spare yourself and the rest of us from your kookery. Which is what you are ... 100% Pure USDA Kook on a sesame seed bun.

See? You're already getting yourself all worked up, just a look a good little kook would do. Who else but a kook would post a message saying they'll be back to kick my ass later? (more like LICK my ass)

-sw

"Sqwertz" wrote in message news:gvol93$51p$[email]...

the

No I didn't. I asked you for the name a scientist who *actually proved* it was a fact, not that just believed it's a fact.

Just being polite, in case you were wondering where I am.

It is proven to be a fact. As proven by the fact that scientists no longer go to the trouble of proving it. I made that clear in capital letters in the passages I quoted.

It is only your opinion that scientists do not consider it a fact. Try telling them they don't know it's a fact and see how far it gets you. And since you are supposedly only 16 years old, and not a scientist, then your opinion is useless.

You are so busted. Posting as Xino using Jerry's credentials. It was bound to happen if I egged you on long enough. Have to admit, you played a good game there for a while.

You lose the final confrontation - twice even. Time to go down a few beers for lunch and celebrate this Pyhrric victory. Fortunately there will be no more battles and we still stand firm.

-sw

it

Sooo... let me get this straight... your defense is that because scientists became tired of trying and trying and failing to prove it, they finally gave up and said "well we can't get any closer, lets just declare it proved and go to bed".

Yeah that's sound science.

Mr. Sqwertz, listen to me VERY carefully. I never said that I believe that no scientists believe that evolution is fact. There are some, in fact MANY scientists that DO believe that it is fact. Many of them are even dumber than YOU are.

My question/request, for the THIRD time in a row now, is show me a scientist who has IN FACT PROVED the Theory of Evolution. I don't care about what they *believe*, I care about what they've *done*. So now it's do or die time for you Sqwertz, I'm losing my patience. Oh BTW yes I still will get to your other reply this weekend sometime. There's a lot there that still needs to be unpacked.

LOL what part of I was venturing into fast food land did you not understand? I was not subscribed to alt.food.fast-food on my own identity yet.

Oh well I suppose you need the victory.

LOL is this your way of chickening out? There is no victory unless one of us convinces the other.

Your existence is proof enough.

Bite one, Cockknuckles!

TFM�

Now you're just plain being absurd. Your Jerry personality is showing.

Let's just say that *you* don't consider it proven. But all other experienced scientist consider it proven as a fact. And somehow I'm inclined to believe them more than you.

<yawn> Don't you have some nits to go pick out of your hair?

Aww, isn't that cute. makes me just want to ruffle your hair and smile.

Having an identity crisis, are you?

See, there's that condescending, narcissistic personality disorder you're so good at, "Mr. Kiner".

You already have your mind made up. And there's no way a narcissistic prick would ever even consider a view other than their own.

You're much better off posting as Jerry. Or do we call you batman?

-sw

"JERRY" wrote in message news:[email]...

Outstanding troll.

You now lose, take off all your clothes.

TFM�

"TFM�" wrote in message news:4a202114$0$11554$[email]...

OMG, Nitesbane was RIGHT.

"Xino Kiner" wrote in message news:[email]...

Oh I'm sorry, did somebody actually give a fuck?????????

Suck my cock, you worthless sauksuckers!

TFM�

"Xino Kiner" wrote in message news:[email]...

No, but it is a well-known fact that Sqwertz has a hard-on for you and your brother and can't restrain himself from posting about either of you for longer than a few hours at a time. He even has some sort of website shrine dedicated to Jerry.

A friendly word of advice from me to you, Xino: Don't waste your time on fools.

And to keep this on-topic - Sqwertz is gay for Moleman [GABF12], and I thoroughly enjoy White Castle's Jalapeno Cheeseburger.

Nitesbane wrote:

Ahh, we have another Creationist wannabe. Or maybe you subscribe to the "Elusive Third Hypothesis"?

Don't go trying to give him an out now.

But I can see how after this last round he might pretend to agree with you and use your advice as an excuse for dropping out (handing Evolutionists the Gold Ring).

Yum! Soggy buns and shrunken meat with holes in it. Kinda reminds me of your Grandmother.

-sw

"Nitesbane" wrote in message news:4a1c08fd$0$22546$[email]...

not

your

shrine

Good advice about Sqwertz. When I do respond to him, It'll be on his turf only, so unless there is an immediate, unexpected and thunderous public outcry, I will no longer be responding to him at a.t.s.

We don't have any White Castle locations in my area, but one of my favorite CBG quotes is "Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix!" [4F13] Good advice for Sqwertz and the others at alt.f.f-f.