Homer quotes anybody?

I want to use a Homer quote for my aol personal quote but can't think of anything good. Any sugestions?

"Jay K." wrote in message news:[email]...

"Beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

That's a good one, but I like

"To alcohol: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

'Im in a place where I dont know where I am!'

Do you see towels? Because if you see towels, you're in the linnen closet again.

"I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am!"

In article , Kevin Madden writes:

"Ben Treutler" wrote in message news:[email]...

of

"And he had a high pitch voice; like Urkle. And he came out on Firday night, like Urkle!"

"There's something wrong with this place. I know! This Lesbian bar doesnt have a fire escape! Enjoy your death trap ladies!"

Homer: "I keep hearing this irruagualr thumping noise." Mechanic: "I think its your heart." Homer: "Whoo, i thought it was my transmission."

"spud \(secret potato utility developer\)" wrote in message news:...

What was her problem?

'Remember when I took that home wine making course and forgot how to drive'

"Eat the pudding - Eat the pudding - Eat the pudding - Eat the pudding - Eat the pudding!"

"No TV and no beer make Homer something, something..."

On Wed, 16 Jan 2002 23:48:43 +1100, "Ben Dillon" wrote:

Go crazy????????

Eat

Don't mind if I do!

I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead!

Somebody claiming to be [email] (Jay K.) wrote in news:[email]:

"The answers to life's problems aren't at the the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!"

I believe this is from "There's No Disgrace Like Home", the episode which introduces Dr. Marvin Monroe.

We all know these are the best ones...

"I've alway wondered if there was a god, and now I know, it's me!" "Doungnuts is there anything they can't do" "no beer, no tv, make homer go something something" "purple is a fruit"

Forgot one

it can deep fry a cow in 7 seconds..... "7 seconds, i what it now"

Moe: It can flash-fry a buffalo in 45 seconds.

Homer: 45 seconds?! But I want it now!

ummmmmmmm, is that how it went?? i don't think it did..

"Ben Treutler" wrote in message news:[email]...

On Thu, 17 Jan 2002, Matt wrote:

It did.

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/3F02.html

Moe: Oh, boy! The deep fryer's here. Heh heh, I got it used from the navy. You can flash-fry a buffalo in forty seconds. Homer: Forty seconds? But I want it now! -- Brainstorming, "Bart Sells His Soul"

/ Kristian
+-------------------------------------------------------+
|Kristian Ronge |[email]|[email]|
|d99, datateknik, KTH (Kungliga Tekniska H�gskolan)     |
|d99, Computer Science, Royal Institute of Technology   |
+-------------------------------------------------------+
-"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy
  people?"

On Thu, 17 Jan 2002, Matt stated this considered view. Waking from my doze, I hastily scrawled -

Don't have a cow, man!

How about 'When I learn new stuff, it pushes the old stuff out of my brain' (I can't remember the exact quote - nor which episode it is from).

Like that time I took that home wine making course and forgot how to drive?

On Thu, 17 Jan 2002, Paul Hyett stated this considered view. Waking from my doze, I hastily scrawled -

PS, I saw a mouse-mat with this one on (at Maplins IIRC).

On 16 Jan 2002, Jay K. wrote:

"To beer! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!" is usually very popular.

Another popular H-quote is "Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?"

For something a little more .. unique .. I suggest this one, from 7F11, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish" ->

"The three little sentences that will get you through life: 1. Cover for me. 2. Oh, good idea, Boss! 3. It was like that when I got here."

/ Kristian
+-------------------------------------------------------+
|Kristian Ronge |[email]|[email]|
|d99, datateknik, KTH (Kungliga Tekniska H�gskolan)     |
|d99, Computer Science, Royal Institute of Technology   |
+-------------------------------------------------------+
-"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy
  people?"

"Jay K." spake thusly:

I remember something like "Homer no function beer will without" or something like that.

Maye my imagination.

Nope. That's from the cult episode...I think it's called The Joy Of Sect.

Austin

"They have internet on computers now?"

=v= I think that's a truly apt recommendation,
especially for an AOL user from a WebTV user!           .-.  .-.
    <_Jym_>                                            /  / /  /
  |\/\/\/|                                            /  / /  /

Here's a couple by Homer that I've used:

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel."

Angela

SPoOkY0428 wrote in message news:[email]...

I thought this one was "Just because I understand, doesn't mean I care."

from the

Nope, I checked with SNPP and they have it down as "Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."

Angela

Yep, that's the right quote.

I don't care.

Furious George aka Queso

No, you just don't understand.

Austin

You're a girl.

Yes.

Aww! I just don't understand the situation!!

Drunk and full of pie, SPoOkY0428 wrote:

"Apu friend me good"

"The Rack" wrote in message news:[email]...

from the

Ooh! He card read good!

Dr Music P.S. Parking was ample.

Gee, I really kinda wanna help ya Flanders. But, you see... Marge... has been taken prisoner in the... Holy Land and...

"Dr Music" wrote in message news:...

Hello Mr...Kurns.

Drunk and full of pie, Slug wrote:

I bad want money now. Me sick.

In article , [email] says...

How about when Marge disagrees with Burns and her mum's relationship? Homer's response:

"that's OK Money. Your money is all that moneys."

or

"A beer is a lot like a woman. They smell good, they taste good and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one! You have to drink another woman!.........(drunk)So I says '$25 for pretzels?! You make me wanna wretch!'" (passes out)

or

"Stupid sexy Flanders!"

i love the first one the most ;))

On Sat, 19 Jan 2002, Tumasae wrote:

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ HA! I *knew* someone would slip up eventually! :-)

/ Kristian
+-------------------------------------------------------+
|Kristian Ronge |[email]|[email]|
|d99, datateknik, KTH (Kungliga Tekniska H�gskolan)     |
|d99, Computer Science, Royal Institute of Technology   |
+-------------------------------------------------------+
-"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy
  people?"

In article , [email] says...

what's the quote then?

T

Son, a woman is a lot like a... [looks around]  a refrigerator!
   They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds.  They make ice, and... um...
   [spots his can of Duff] Oh, wait a minute.  Actually, a woman is more
   like a beer.  They smell good, they look good, you'd step over
   your own mother just to get one!  [downs the beer]  But you can't
stop at
   one.  You wanna drink another woman!  [gets another woman out of the woman]
   -- Homer teaches Bart about the birds and the beers,
      ``The New Kid on the Block''

Kevin

Oops, sorry about the crappy formatting. I got lazy. Just copied and pasted without removing the extra spaces.

Kevin

"Kevin Madden" wrote in message news:[email]...

woman]

(A six-pack later...) So, I sez to him, you want that five dollars, come and GET it, cuz *I* don't know where it is, ya baloney! You make me wanna RETCH!!! (passes out)

Dr Music P.S. Parking was ample.

In article , [email] says...

"It's a pornography store! I was buying pornography!" hehe... I would never have thoughta that

Homer's brain: give him a fake name, give him a fake name... Homer: "Homer Simpson" Homer's brain: That's it! I'm outa here! (disappearing footsteps and door slam)

When I was seventeen...

ermmm...no.

And what are you reasons for wanting to be a bigger brother? *brain* Don't say revenge! Don't say revenge! Uhhh...revenge? *brain* That's it I'm outta here! (disappearing footsteps and door slam)

me thinks you mixed up a couple skits into one.

"Jay K." wrote:

I can't believe I ate the whole thing. Sincerely, Little Girl

"DOH!"

On 16 Jan 2002 07:39:00 GMT, [email] (Jay K.) wrote:

1.I'm the first non-Brazilian person to travel backwards through time. 2. I think he likes you. 3. Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back -- or you can go out there and find your dog. .....

Rats. I almost had him eating dog food!

On Wed, 16 Jan 2002 18:57:59 GMT, [email] (Bojan Bugarin) wrote:

Oh yeah and U-R-GAY

America! Australia! America! Australia! America! Australia! America! Australia! America! Australia!

Here in Amercica we don't telerate this kind of behevior sir!

Here's another good one from the same episode

Homer: Burkina Faso? Disputed Zone? Who called all these weird places? Brain: Quiet, it might be you! I can't remember. Homer: Naw, I'm going to ask Marge. Brain: No, no! Why embarrass us both? Just write a check and I'll release some more endorphins.

AAAHHHHHHHHHH

Bojan Bugarin wrote:

Come on, pal! Fugu me!

Hey, G.I. Joe: Your signs broken.

"man..fall down....funny."

in yearbook: "i can't believe i ate the whole thing."

Bojan Bugarin wrote in message news:[email]...

my favorite homer quote

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel."

=v= Here's one:

	"D'oh!"
	  -- Homer J. Simpson

It's even in the _Oxford_English_Dictionary_!            .--.
    <_Jym_>                                             /   |\
  |\/\/\/|                                           __/____| \

"Jay K." wrote in message news:[email]...

Homer: Oh no, this can't be happening! What the hell are we going to do with 10,000 angel ashtrays? Bart: I could take up smoking... Homer: You damn well better!!

You don't snuggle with Max Powers. You strap yourself in and feel the g's.

Fredstat wrote:

i love it, max!

i like these: radio announcer "... FDR is in the White House. An ice cream cone costs a nickel, and a hot new tune by Benny Goodman is hitting the charts. The year is 1939. Homer: Nineteen ... 1939! Oh, my God, I've gone back in time! I've got to warn everybody about Hitler --and get to the ice cream store!

marge "homer, what do you want for diner?" homer "steak?" "money's too tight for steak..." "steak" "umm...sure homer...steak"

"you might want to crane you necks now to save time. okay dont panic its possible the giant plants are invisible" starts backflipping trying to grab the plants"

oh i've got a ton

frase wait one more "yeah that team sure did suck last night, i've never seen a sucker bunch of sucks-i gotta go my damn wiener kids are listening"

'It's a handgun, isn't it great, this is the trigger and this is the bit you point at whatever you want to die'

'....Jebus where are you?....Homer to Jebus....Ohhhhhh....'

'Daddy isn't allowed in the big people library anymore, there was some...unpleasantness...I can never go back'

'.....Oh yeah and I'm not easily impressed. WOW! A BLUE CAR!'

'I probably shouldn't have eaten that packet of powdered gravy I found in the parking lot.'

"You tried your best, and you failed miserably! The lesson is, never try."

Is it Outlook Express playing silly buggers, or am I the first person to put that? If so, how?

"Jay K." spake thusly:

"Oh Lisa, you and your stories, 'Bart is a Vampire, beer kills brain cells', now let's go back to that...building thingy...where our beds and TV....is"

it only transports matter?

"Trying is the first step towards failure."

"The internet? Is that thing still around?"

and

"Because I loved them once and they broke my heart. Let that be a lesson to you, sweetie. Never love anything."

ooooohhhh The girls of the Internet... (slavering)

I'd go online with them any time....

"Chemboy" wrote in news:9hO18.2043$5Z6.25301@rwcrnsc54:

On 18 Jan 2002 07:42:07 GMT, Donut Bandit wrote: I'd go online with then ANYDAY!

On 18 Jan 2002 07:42:07 GMT, Donut Bandit wrote: oh sh*t, I didn't notice the 2nd line there, my bad (is it Any time or Any day? I can't rememeber)

anybody know where I can get the sound clip of this phrase? I used to have it as my opening wave for ICQ, but I since had to format my computer and thus lost it

Does anybody have a good simpson sound scheme for ICQ?

Drunk and full of pie, Chemboy wrote:

The other critics told me to be mean, and you should always give in to peer pressure.

Chemboy wrote:

"Even you?"

I'm not 100% sure if this is right, but it's when Homer gets accepted to College (I'm surprised it hasn't been mentioned yet)

I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T, I mean, S-M-A-R-T

does anybody know the name of the episode where homer tries to get a gun and joins the NRA,

On 16 Jan 2002 07:39:00 GMT, [email] (Jay K.) wrote:

The Cartridge Family.

Austin

[email] wrote:

The Cartridge Family

Kevin

"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."

"It's like a freakin country bear jamboroo around here."

"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."

"Aww, 20 dollars I wanted a peanut." "20 dollars can buy many peanuts." "Explain how." "Money can be exchanged for goods and services." "Woohoo!"

Homer: Someday you'll thank me for this son.
Bart:     Not bloody likely.
Homer: No, it's true.  You know, when I was a                 boy I
really wanted a catcher's mitt, but               my dad wouldn't get it
for me.  So I held              my breath until I passed out and
banged my head on the coffee table.                  The doctor thought
I might have brain                 damage.
Bart:     Dad, what's the point of this story?
Homer: I like stories.

"Eric Miller" wrote in message news:[email]...

Oh I love that quote, and it's reminded me of another one that I haven't seen in AGES, something about Homer letting the army inject him with something so that he didn't have to see Patty and Selma, anyone got the exact quote?

Mmmm, free goo!

Mmmm, something!

"Nate" wrote in message news:B86D9B9B.1E726%[email]...

Mmmm, various eggs.

Dr Music P.S. Parking was ample.

Can't talk, been robbed, go hell.