"Ach! Back to the loch with ye, Nessie!"
"Ach! Don't feel bad for loosin', I' was wrestin' wolves back when you were at your mother's teat!"
"Angus, we've got work ta do!"
"Argh! I'll kill that Mr. Burns! And, er, wound that Mr. Smithers."
"Argh! Oh, I'm bad at this."
"Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys!"
"Deeper! Wider! Faster! I' wouldn't bury me turtle in that mud puddle! Bah! What's the use..."
"Don't worry about your wee fish, lass. They're goin' to a better place."
"Eh, yer lucky yer gettin' a decent burial. Me own father got thrown in the bog."
"Get your Haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds."
"Girls! ...Outta hole!"
"Hey wolfie, put down that hors d'oeuvre ...its time for the main course!"
"I did not cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig, but I'll cry now."
"I made millions in software and lost it at the track. Ach!"
"I said `Make way for Willy,' you bloated gasbag."
"I' get ya Bart Simpson ...if it's last thing I doo!"
"I'll strike where you canna' protect them -- in their dreams!"
"I'm doing all the pulling, ye blouse-wearing poodle walker!"
"If I don't save the wee turtles, who will?!"
"If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of ye and burn your town to cinders."
"If it were not a violation of God's law, I'd make ye my wife."
"If your Dad goes gaga, you just use that shin of yours to call me and I'll come a running. But don't be reading my mind between four and five -- That's Willy's time!"
"Make way for Willy!"
"Me mule wouldn't work in the mud ...So I had to put seventeen bullets in him!"
"My hobby is secretly video-taping couples in cars. I did not come forward because in this country it makes you look like a pervert, but every single Scottish person does it!"
"No, no, go easy on the wee one. His father's going to go crazy and chop 'em all into haggis!"
"Now the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle, we donned a full-length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury."
"Outta' the way, look-out ya horse's arse!"
"See you in hell, you wingless bloodsuckers."
"Sounds like that gopher I caught in me lawn mower!"
"Sounds like trouble brewin' at the old well."
"There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman."
"There...pretty as a picture. Ack! Zombies! ...There, pretty as a picture."
"'Tis more dizzyin' than the belfry at St. Caliga Glenwalgens."
"'Tis no more than what God gave me, you puritan pukes!"
"When I'm done with you, they'll have to do a compost-mortem!"
"When ya alone and life is gettin' you lonely, you can always go ...Ach! Doontoon!"
"You used me, Skinner! You used me!"
===============================================================================
Some Groundskeeper Willy Scenes (verified from the episode capsules when possible)...
[8F24] Skinner: Make sure to give those toilets a good scrubbing, we want the old girl sparkling when I get back. Willy: Aye sir ...ya silk-wearin' buttercup.
[9F01] Lovejoy: How's that door coming, Willy? Willy: Miracles are your department, Reverend!
[9F13]
Skinner: This orange drink is the only way to recoup our terrible losses
from Fire drill Follies. I just don't know what went wrong.
Willy: You'd open the show with a fire drill and everybody cleared out.
Skinner: Hmm, some mother was right, it was my fault.
Go ahead, water it down some more.
Willy: My God, man, I'd watered it down as far as she'll go. I can not
water no more.[9F18] Skinner: Would the world judge me harshly if I throw away the key? Willy: No, but the PTA would tear you a new arse!
[9F18] Skinner: Now we give them the bikes -- no one sues! Willy: What if they're dead, sir? Skinner: Then we ride these bikes to Mexico...and freedom, Willy! Freedom! Willy: Freedom! Ach! I'd turn ya in at the first toll booth.
[1F18] Skinner: Willy, go into the vent and get him. Willy: What? Have you gone waxy in your peaster? I cannot fit in tha' wee vent, you croquet-playing mint muncher. Skinner: Grease yourself up and go in, you...you guff-speaking work-slacker. Willy: Oh, good comeback.
[1F18] Willy: Lunchlady Doris, have ye got any grease? Doris: Yes...yes we do. Willy: [rips shirt off] Then grease me up woman! Doris: [pause] Okay dokey.
[2F03] Willy: Boy, you read my thoughts! You've got the Shinning. Bart: You mean "Shining". Willy: Shhh! You want to get sued?
[2F20]
Willy: If you'll check me medical records, you'll see I have a cripplin'
arthritis in me index fingers. Look at 'em!
I got it from "Space Invaders" in 1977.
Wiggum: Aw, yeah. That was a pretty addictive video game.
Willy: Video game?![3F03]
Skinner: Two independent thought alarms in one day.
The students are over stimulated. Willy! Remove all the coloured
chalk from the classrooms.
Willy: I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya?! That coloured chalk was forged by
Lucifer himself!