Merry Fishmas!

Have a merry fishmas, everybody! (Throws dead fish guts at everybody)

"Justin Pate" wrote in message news:eiqK9.151250$[email]...

knife goes in, guts come out . . .

JQM

there's only one fat guy who brings us presents .... and his name aint santa James Morrissey wrote in message news:atdcam$a82$[email]...

look at the subhead on this website:

http://www.aaccollectibles.com/a5001661.html

ho ho ho

http://www.meltontackle.com/holiday/product.asp?product_id=10540

James Morrissey wrote in message news:atdcam$a82$[email]...

On Fri, 13 Dec 2002, an infinite number of monkeys, masquerading as James Morrissey typed this -

knife goes in, guts come out ...

amidst our important simpsons debates, i thought i would like to wish everyone a merry christmas

of course, for all of you ignorant insignificant yanks out there, i would like to remind you that canada's 2nd action of diplomatic defiance will be to renounce north american christmas and adopt the dutch tradition of "sinterklaas", wherein santa claus travels from spain in a boat with a hold full of black-faced "helpers" called swarte-pete.

wait a minute.... we'll have to rethink that one. We wouldnt want to revitalize your cotton industry, y'all.

keep flyin that union jack ya freaks

hold

Is that really necessary?

Mighty big talk coming from someone who resides in a country with no national defense, no law enforcement, no economy, lax immigration and panty-waist appeaser politicians who would rather jack up taxes and burn their citizens money on bloated, wasteful bureaucracies and social engineering rather than actually defending itself or <gasp> reducing the tax rate. But ultimately, the people get the government they deserve, and Canadians seem to be appropriately apathetic and indignant.

Canada wouldn't exist if it werent for the USA, and you people should bend over and kiss the ground we Americans walk on for defending your country for you rather than taking it over.

Thomas J. Paladino Jr. New York City

hmmm much of that sounds like the United States.

Ask the average american, who obviously earns less than you, if they are content with the level of governmental support, or the african american who is called up to fight for a government who has placed more importance on incarcerating them than improving social conditions.

you are ignoring the fact that your president used the anniversary of a horrific tragedy to further his own career and instigate global conflict, which , as we all know, we end in nuclear catastrophe. your lines in the sand wont help you then.

As for appeasing politicians, while monkey-faced cowboy was beating the drums of war over the victims of 9-11 and PRESSURING the rest of the world to join your war on iraq, our prime minister (while sending his sympathy to the victims) made a declaration, in no uncertain terms, that canada would not join the money-laced war in iraq. Furthermore, we withdrew troops from that area, and jean chretien (bet you didnt even know that name, shithead) defended his communications executive who was dismissed for insulting the president of the united states.

You insinuation that the US could take over canada is absurd, as it would cause an international outrage that would not be tolerated by the UN - The United States' tenuous diplomatic balance would NEVER survive that, as it needs all its allies in this time of turmoil.

You think you have problems from a third world terrorist group: imagine your ignorant ass faced with the collective economic and military might of the UN. People never stay conquered, you stupid slack jaw. History repeats itself you dumb fuck. Do you seriously think the US could win a nuclear war when it was assailled by multiple strong and wealthy nations. What you are doing now is easy bully shit.... dont delude yourself.

Your attitude is typical of any american who views the rest of the world as its footstool. You do not live in a vacuum, you poor unfortunate myopic. I certainly hope the majority of your country does not share your sentiments.

We share a common heritage but recent bandwagons and expectations of the rest of the world are out of hand. Madelaine Albrecht's survey shows that you have no more real friends - remember that old american saying "tread lightly and carry a big stick?" seems you've forgot that and it's catching up with you

SOO.... insult canada if you want, but we are no different than the rest of the UN in our diplomatic stance with the US. Better start gathering ammunition for the rest of the countries as well. If people dont stop acting like there is immunity (ooops did the trade center buildings and the pentagon somehow blow up) that may be exactly what you will have to do.

So get the fuck off your high horse you silly monkey. No way canada will drop its borders for anyone, even if it is a historical ally who suddenly got a MORON at the helm. Bring back Clinton.

Thomas J. Paladino Jr. wrote in message news:K6cM9.259911$[email]...

would

be

tax

for

The Simpsons often seems to have been scripted by non-Americans. If you asked an average non-American to describe an American, they'd describe Homer, even if they'd never heard of OFF.

One of the most telling lines in The Simpsons is:

"Anyone could mistake Canada, all tucked away behind Mexico."

Which shows exactly how little most Americans know about anything outside their own 50 states. 96% of Americans don't have a valid passport. Hell, they even decided a man who had only been outside of the US *3 times* would be fit to be their president.

American media consisently fails to report international news except in relation to American. This is why relations between the US and everywhere else have disintegrated so badly over the past few decades - we have a nation that has set itself up as the world's policeman, but it has a population that knows *nothing* about the world (except for having a *very* prejudiced view of Israel).

So - if you wanna save the world - sponsor an American. Buy him a subscription to an international newspaper.

I ust go now - Quebec has the bomb.

The Supreme Court decided Bush should be President. The American people were pretty much evenly split between the two candidates.

On Thu, 19 Dec 2002 05:25:54 -0000, "JC O'Nazareth" wrote:

Haven't the Simpsons had a lot of Canadian writers over the years? I know they staff 1 right now.

yeeeeeeeeeeha

Not really, but if you need to keep thinking that to make yourself feel better, go ahead.

You see, that is the problem RIGHT THERE. "Government support"...what the hell is that? I do NOT want the government supporting me, nor do I wish to pay for the support of anyone else. The American government was not founded for, nor does it currently exist to provide 'support' to anyone. In fact, the founding fathers went through great pains to ensure that the federal government had as little to do with the individual as possible. Of course, the original intent of the founding fathers has been gradually chipped away by liberal and so-called 'progressive' policy, in favor of more government regulation over more aspects of daily life. BUT referring to the "average American", I would say that the majority agree with me, and are seeking far less government intrusiveness (support or otherwise), which is the reason republicans won such a resounding victory last month. People in this country are sick and tired of a bloated and intrusive government, and want the federal government to do more of what it was originally intended for; provide a strong national defense and keep our borders safe.

Hehee. Now you're really reaching. First off, nobody fights in our armed forces unless they volunteer to do so. Our military is 100% volunteer. Furthermore, I would wager that the African-Americans in uniform believe very strongly in our country and it's instutions, imperfect though they may be, otherwise they wouldn't have joined (and stayed) in the first place. Second, it is entirely insulting to African-Americans to assume that they are all simply looking for government handouts, rather than actually being capable of improving social conditions for themselves. It is, quite frankly, very racist of you.

I have no idea what you are talking about, and obviously neither do you. Global conflict has been going on for years--long before the presidency of George W. Bush, the only problem was that up until 9/11, everyone in the western world seemed to have their heads in the sand. Eight years of Clinton left the USA vulnerable to attack, and Bush is left to clean up the mess, which he is doing with skill and expediance. Pretending that the problem isn't there won't make it go away; quite the contrary, it only emboldens those who would seek to do us harm. If a war is necessary, then so be it. Appeasment never works, and there are people in this world who only understand the language of violence. We must be prepared to meet such people with overwhelming violence, so as to ensure such is not brought upon us. The time for such action, unfortunately, is now.

to

At every turn, your nation proves itself to be both ungrateful and utterly clueless as to your insignificance. Your 'prime minister' can declare whatever he wants, but the loss of both Canadian tanks and all three of it's airplanes will probably not hinder our war efforts. Rather, it makes you look quite silly, as though you people actually believe that you have some bearing on global politics, and at the same time, pissing off your primary source of income. Biting the hand that feeds you is never a wise move.

Wow...the Canadians withdrew troops...what a surprise. It must be the French blood in you. Good thing you guys only have like a dozen 'troops' anyway.

What's with the name-calling? Have I called you a name? Are you incapable of debate or discussion without resorting to vulgarity? What point are you trying to make here anyway? Jean Chretin can say and do whatever he wants; it truly has no bearing on our global policy whatsoever. And that is really the biggest problem that the Canadians have, isn't it? They just want so desprately to *matter*. But they don't, so they throw these little tantrums, and just hope to get attention from *somebody*. Kinda like a two-year-old. You guys have pascified yourselves into obscurity and insignificance.

Well, I just said that we COULD do it, not that we WOULD or that it would be a good idea if we did. But it is entirely possible. As for our so called 'allies'; I feel that the US has very few true allies to begin with. Sure, there are nations that we refer to as 'allies', but that is in name only. When the chips are down, we know that we can only count on ourselves; this is nothing new, it has been the unspoken policy in the US for decades. And it is this fundamental understanding that has allowed the US to excel beyond all other nations. You see, the rest of the western world is far too trusting with each other, believing that you are all looking out for each others interests, when in fact the opposite is true. It has left Canada and Europe vulnerable to subversion by those who are their 'allies', the end result is that you each hold the other back, and wind up with collective mediocracy (pretty much the state of Canada and the EU today). The one major power is the one who seems to keep a healthy distance and go it alone; the USA. This is no surprise, throughout history, the most sucessful nation-states have always been relatively introverted. At this point in time, the US does need allies in some key areas, but, not to the point of relinquishing it's leadership or soverignty, and always at arms leignth. We know who our true allies are. But, like the saying goes, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

your

Well, if you really want to get into it, the truth is that our military traditionally fights much better against a concerted enemy, rather than small, fractured groups. We've spent the better part of 50 years preparing for major conflicts such as those, and quite frankly you both underestimate our forces, and gravely overestimate the abilities and resources of the UN. If the rest of the world was so collecively powerful, why do they still send in the USA every time a confilct or police action needs to be squelched? We ARE the UN military. Furthermore, our current military capablities and industrial potential outweigh everything that the rest of the world could throw at us, especially after our ballistic missile shield is completed. Not to mention the economic factors; any nation that cut off economic ties with the US in favor of war would find itself collapsing from the inside out. Fortunately, this is a hypothetical, as it would not be a plesant experience for anyone, though if it came down to it, we would be victorious in the end.

That simply is not true. History is full of civilizations that were conquered and remained so. Pick up a book sometime. And what the hell is with your language? Are the ad homynim insults necessary?

Indeed it does, though I am not exactly sure how it pretains to this particular situation; as we are dealing with both a hypothetical, and a situation largely without prescident. Though your ranting has a certain nervous quality which almost sounds as though you expect a platoon of Marines to bust through your door at any moment.

And by they way, you simply make yourself look ingnorant when you use profanity as a substitute for actual thought.

And whom are these "multiple strong and wealthy nations"? Do they know that you already have them signed up on a campaign against the USA? The strongest and wealthiest nation is the USA, but if you are thinking of an EU/Canada crusade aginst us, put your mind to rest; it simply will not happen anytime soon. The only way you people would stand a chance would be to spend the next ten to fifteen years both rebuilding your military infrastructure, which has been allowed to atrophy for the last decade or so, and cutting of economic ties with the US. Neither Canada nor the EU seems willing or able to do anything of the sort, as the latest news has these nations cutting their defense budgets even further, despite the current global climate (no doubt secure in the knowledge that the US is out there to protect them), and the globaliztion trend favors stronger trade relations. If an attack of some sort was launched tomorrow, it would be a joke; the US could conquer both Canada and Europe in a matter of months. Our industrial capabilities alone would win the war for us; compound that with our absolutely mind-boggling military technogies, and we are poised to be the dominant military power for many years to come. After our missile shield is in place, we will become nearly untouchable though traditional means.

Of course it is, but don't delude yourself into thinking that we arent capable of much, MUCH more.

as

The rest of the world currently exists to service the American lifestyle. Let them build our cars, cook our food, design our clothes and keep their mouths shut. If you disagree, just take a good look at the global economy. The USA is the most effective weath generator ever devised. We spread money all over the globe, and almost every nation on this planet is dependant upon us in one way or another. No way around it. The world exists to feed America. And we, in turn, protect and finance the globe. That is the single largest contributing factor towards the lasting peace between Canada, the EU and the USA--economic dependance. Put simply, war would be bad for business.

sentiments.

I would wager that a growing majority in the USA does indeed agree with me, as evidenced by last months elections, and the president's enduring high poll numbers.

Well no. First off, the saying is "Speak softly and carry a big stick", and that is pretty much what we are doing. Diplomacy and such have their place, but what good is a 'big stick' unless you make it clear that you are not afraid to use it? As I said earlier, we need to make it clear, in no uncertain terms, that violence and and such towards the USA will be met with violence more powerful than one can imagine. Such is the unfortuate reality of the world, and, in fact, human nature.

of

acting

If that time comes (though I doubt it), we would indeed be victorious.

You really have no clue, do you? Clinton is the REASON we are having a great many of these problems today. Clinton spent eight years sweeping things under the rug, rather than dealing with them head-on, because he was far more interested in making himself look good and keeping his poll numbers up. You think that there was peace though Clintons presidency? Not even close. He just ignored all the bad news. We are now all, globally, paying the price for his ineptitude. I suppose some people would rather be lied to than have to face the very harsh realities of the world, but we unfortunately no longer have that luxury, as those realities came knocking on 9/11. Now, we finally have a president who is not afraid to tackle what Clinton allowed to fester, and he is also not afraid to go after new threats before they can hurt anyone. It's called leadership. The people understand this, and that is why George W. Bush enjoys consistantly higher poll numbers than Clinton ever did; except George tells it like it is, bad news and all, and the people appreciate it (especially after being lied to for eight years). Ultimately the world will be a better place for President Bush's leadership, though I suppose there will always be people who are ungrateful and shortsighted. People like President Bush are the reason people like you can exist.

Thomas J. Paladino Jr. New York City

will

bend

Thomas J. Paladino Jr. wrote in message news:d3gM9.259939$[email]...

founded

away

far

country

may

frankly,

Maybe not racist..just a little behinfd the times. Maybe this is another of those young wannabe hippies, yearning for the nostalgia of those good ol' days of the 60's!

conflict,

Clinton

people

The

No, no! We are to blame for everything. If a country is poor, it is our fault for not giving them enough in aid. If a country's society trades in their customs for ours, it's because we are buying them with our money. If their leaders exploit them, it is our fault for not giving the people the money directly. If anyone is pissed with us and decides to kill us, it our fault because we didn't look into our crystal balls and divine who is a threat and try to appease them. Of course, we'd still be guilty of something, so I guess we deserve to be killed.

We are bad people!

world

would

it's

Y'know...no matter how small or large a contribution is to a global effort, is should still be appreciated. Each man or woman bleeds the same color blood.

French

the

of

really

tantrums,

Brothers, please! If Canandians and Americans can't get along.....

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The

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beyond

and

major

We

There's no hope here!

the

underestimate

UN.

send

We

Not

with

experience

end.

Oh, boy....

that

strongest

anytime

of

and

some

for

money

upon

single

EU

business.

The Ugly American!

me,

Life is usually somewhere in the middle of two extreme viewpoints.

that

catching

and

place,

with

reality

Too bad I have to agree with this. How many times does one have to be hit before one gets up and runs away, or stands up and fights?

That's right! Over three thousand REAL people were killed! But, you don't care since it doesn't work into your little ideology, you insensitive prick!

suddenly

great

up.

Unfortunately, this is true! If it weren't, the Democrats would be making a big stink about the time line of events and when people knew about things.

Remember the Cole?

price

have

to

is

ever

wish

of

a

burn

the

country

PS just wait til you've run out of water and blinky the 3-eyed fish is all you have left

canada is ratifying the kyoto accord

can you you imagine what will happen when the entire UN has ratified except the US because you are still so motivated by being the most powerful & weathy, fuck the environment.

Worst nuclear war ever

buck up marlboro man

Run out of water? Highly doubtful.

except

Yeah, I can imagine exactly what will happen....absolutely nothing (just like everything else the UN does).

News Flash: The Kyoto accord has almost NOTHING to do with the environment. It was a tool of European socialists and the like to cripple the US economy and per capita industrial output and consumption, under the guise of an 'environmental treaty'. It was, in fact, a violation of US soverignty, and a thinly veiled attempt to bring some of the mediocracy that has plagued the EU and Canada to the USA. It was a very smart move to reject such tripe. If you think it's going to 'save' anything environmentally, guess again.

And yes, we are motivated by being the most powerful and wealthy, which is exactly where we are, and for all of your psuedo-high mindedness, you are still living in a second-rate democracy, in the shadow of the greatest civilization ever known to man. I suppose that I don't blame you for your obvious bitterness, though it is unfounded, as your nation has made a series of bad decisions through a complacent populous which has relegated your nation into insignificance in the American shadow, when it could have been far different. If you should be pissed off at anyone, it's your own pathetic and corrupt government, and the people who put them there.

Thomas J. Paladino Jr. New York City

Some of that makes sense, except: I piss-poor backward country like afganistan was able to have people inside your country training to destroy it, who actually wrecked the two biggest symbols of economic and military might.

how come your security infrastructure didnt work.... do you really think these people wont adapt? you didnt win vietnam either. That pesky situation in the gaza strip just wont go away either. You're right, a big elephant like you doesnt last against fragmented or guerrilla conflict - which is symptomatic of the times we live in.

You are definitely wrong about the conquered people - did you go to a "patriotic" university?

The last time i looked, Rome is a polluted tourist spot, Egypt is one of those other "insignificants" not worthy to kiss the US' feet, and Greece is where the European kids go to get drunk and laid (well that probably hasnt changed much).

What's a Babylon?

I dont see us calling the president "Bush-sama".

Oh yes: is your first tongue german, because mine isnt. How many countries occupied there? You dont think the french resistance contributed significant to normandy. It would have been interesting to see the US try to pull that one off by themselves, or without the land to train on or launch from.

It's funny that you insult the french for surrendering, but what does the US know about try to fight an invader after they've just exhausted everything, been occupied and had their country destroyed by battle. Verdun, shelling paris, etc. Interesting to throw stones, especially since the US only entered the war when it was attacked on its own soil. The canadians and australians got used for target practice, largely as an allied effort. UMMM i dont recall a german or japanese soldier ever setting foot here.

people like you are complacent, even after a bunch of smelly goat herders just showed you that you better wake up.

Terrorists are in every country .... even yours. Are you going to be so sanctimonious when this turns to paranoia, Bush breaks out the Secret Police and reinstates goebels as minister of information (Ooops I guess thats what CNN is for). All that might you are so proud of is going to turn on the american people, and you will be crying "O Canada" as they cart your unamerican-sounding *Paladino* ass off to camp X-Ray.

As far as racism is concerned, it is a fact that certain groups need assistance. This negligent attitude is typical of a capitalist such as yourself. Look at your poverty rate - we dont have to pay for health care in canada. Isnt that something all people should have access to, not just pompous snobs like yourself? Of course, we dont live in the land of chocolate, so taxes must be higher. You can have you columbine's, your snipers, your waco's, your armed militias drooling to take you out of your castle, your mcveighs, your bible belt, and all the other shit you would NEVER find in Canada - i'll take my taxes. You think you would have those problems without poor desperate people? Your wealth comes from exploitation, much of it by your own people.

actually, in the spirit of the topic of this newsgroup, imagine someone like yourself as the writer of the simpsons.....

the it would be called the kennedy's or the bush's, for starters, because your emphasis is obviously on the importance of being rich and powerful. Homer Simpson, currently an icon for american apathy, would become mr burns and flanders could be his second bitch. flanders could stay flanders to appease the commoners and gerry falwell.

The funniest gag in the upcoming season could be Mr burns going around breaking everyone's legs, duct taping kent brockman's mouth, wallowing in his own crapulence. Later in the episode he could throw apu, carl and jay sherman into the springfield tire fire.

A welcome addition would be a laugh-track.

Mr Burns: "what are you going to do about it?" laugh track: (laughs) Mr. Burns:"I mean i hate you all" laugh track:(laughs

Thomas J. Paladino Jr. wrote in message ...

a

"Violation of US sovereignty?" Hate to be the one to tell you this, but the environment doesn't respect international borders. I, personally, have no problem with America poisoning itself to death (I kinda like the idea actually), but America's reckless lack of any environmental policy is going to cripple the entire global ecosystem, taking the rest of us down with you. Even if it was some bizarre socialist conspiracy to undermine the US, your country's obstinate refusal to even negotiate an alternative is the kind of gross selfishness which makes the rest of the world hate you.

Christ, considering you come from a city that's just banned smoking in bars, you shouldn't have any trouble understanding this.

Furthermore, Kyoto isn't the only treaty you've reneged on since electing the monkey-boy. While pushing for the right to exercise International Justice on Saddam, the US has blocked the International Criminal Court, going so far as to ratify the Hague Invasion Act, giving the US military the right to invade any country and withdraw any of its citizens that are being held for any reason. Presumably this is so the international community can't ever punish people like Henry Kissinger for murdering civilians in Cambodia.

America only ever acts in its own interests, and tramples over the needs of the rest of the world as it sees fit. This is why people are flying planes into your buildings.

JC

"When freedom exists, there will be no state" - Lenin

so why is the Canadian swearing like a New Yorker and the New Yorker isn't ...

kind of odd don't you think?

"whippythewit" wrote in message news:VOcM9.3171$[email]...

except

can you imagine what will happen when you've used up all the capital letters and periods then we will all be posting like canadians

"Thomas J. Paladino Jr." wrote in message news:...

ya, that's how we will win the war on terror. piss off the world for emotional satisfaction and allow al qaeda to swim freely in a sea of anti-americanism. why not just drop the PC bullshit and advocate perpetual war on anyone who doesn't kiss the ground america walks on?

btw, there are plenty of southern republicans with absolute contempt for new yorkers such as yourself with ethnic names. for them, you're not white enough to be a true patriot and republican.