The capsule for "New Kids on the Blecch" is now available at The Simpsons Archive, at "http://www.snpp.com/episodes.html". You may access it by following the link for episode CABF12.
We plan to have "Hungry Hungry Homer (CABF09)" up next. (This is subject to change due to schedule and resource demands, however.)
For your convenience, a copy the CABF12 capsule follows immediately. Enjoy!
New Kids on the Blecch Written by Tim Long
Directed by Steven Dean Moore
==============================================================================
Production code: CABF12 Original Airdate on FOX: 25-Feb-2001
Capsule revision A (9-Mar-03)
============================================================================================================================================================
[TV Guide ad] Double page advertisement for episode CABF12 "New Kids on the
Blecch": "Bart Becomes a Pop Star!" 'N Sync is pictured with their arms
outstretched (four fingers per hand, of course) with Bart standing in front
saying, "A shout out to all my homies in detention." "Guest starring:
*NSYNC The Simpsons New! 8 PM" {bg} [TV Guide] 'N Sync has a cameo as a record producer tries to create the
next big boy band out of Milhouse, Bart, Nelson and Ralph Wiggum. {bg} [TV Guide Close-Up] New Kids on the Bleech [sic] 'N Sync has a cameo in a
rollicking spoof of the boy-band craze. The Story begins at the Springfield
Marathon, where the winner is Bart-who sneaked onto the course just blocks
from the finish line. He's rescued from an angry mob by record producer
L.T. Smash (Hank Azaria), who sees the "bad boy" as a perfect fit for the
group he's creating. The band is called Party Posse, and its other members
are Milhouse, Nelson and . . . Ralph Wiggum? After honing their moves,
threads and " 'tudes," the quartet is a hit, even garnering post-show
praise from 'N Sync. But Lisa discovers something definitely out of sync
with the Posse's first video. TV-PG, LV {kmc}==============================================================================
============================================================================== Blackboard: I WILL NOT BUY A PRESIDENTIAL PARDON
I WILL NOT BUY A PRESIDENT at cutoff
Couch: The couch and TV are set up by a prison wall. A searchlight
pans left and right across the scene. The family burrows
under the ground towards the couch, leaving "tunnel mounds" in
their wake. They pop out of the ground, wearing striped
prison uniforms, and jump onto the couch. Shortly afterwards,
the searchlight finds and locks onto the family.==============================================================================
==============================================================================
... Ang Lee ("Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and "The Ice Storm") directed
Party Posse's "Drop Da Bomb" video?Sarah Culp:
... the first song that Bart's group sings sounds suspiciously similar to
"Liquid Dreams," the debut single of O-Town, the latest boy band to
appear?Don Del Grande:
... Lisa's VCR can play a video backward -- and you can hear the sound?
(Actually, computers made it much easier to play songs backward; just
record it as a sound file -- most sound-playing software has a "play
backwards" function)
... Lt. Smash envisioned soldiers, but the plan was to get people to join
the Navy?
... the carrier was "decommissioned", yet there were planes on it? (Little-
known fact; usually planes aren't on a carrier in port if there's an
airbase nearby.)
... the group was referred to as "N' Sync" in the credits, yet their "real"
name is closer to "*NSync"?Darrel Jones: ... metal-head Otto actually watched the Party Posse video?
Joe Klemm:
... the El Barto graffiti at the marathon starting line?
... this is the first time they have shown behind-the-scenes footage at the
end of an episode?Alie Molino:
... Milhouse gets a "Caesar" haircut?
... the members of Party Posse have deviated from the usual successful boy
band formula of five members?
... during the school concert, it sounds like J.C. Chasez and Justin
Timberlake are providing the voices for Bart and Nelson, Chris
Kirkpatrick for Milhouse, and Lance Bass for Ralph?
... part of N*Sync's dance routine involves holding their noses?
... the little head that bounces over the words "Yvan Eht Nioj" is Ralph's,
and he's wearing his little boy-band cap?
... Chris Kirkpatrick is the only member of N*Sync who is unable to
maintain the "Matrix" dance move?
... "Party Posse"'s music is being enjoyed by both boys and girls, whereas
in real life boys usually hate boy band music? This would be good if
the Navy is looking to recruit more women, though ...
... J.C. Chasez, who has written some of the songs for N*Sync's album "No
Strings Attached," is the one who writes down the lyrics for Party
Posse?
... Nelson looks disappointed when Homer says that Nelson smells?
... this is the first time that we have seen the voice-over artists IRL
over the closing credits?Sam Ribnick:
... the name of the production company "Classified Records" hints at its
military nature?
... that Milhouse is (perhaps significantly) the only one of the four that
seems excited about N'SYNC?Benjamin Robinson:
... the Australian runner dives after the trophy when Bart tosses it aside?
... then the mob immediately piles on him?
... the Party Posse drinks Evian bottled water?
... according to the credits, Party Posse's songs were written by Tony
Battaglia and Tim Long?Preston X:
... someone left a manhole open on a marathon route?
... Milhouse is drinking water but doesn't do a spit take when he sees
N*SYNC?
... the N*SYNC members have earrings on both ears?
... the gold record on the wall of the Star Blitzzz Promotions office?
... the Spy Vs. Spy poster in the Mad office?
... one of the Mad writers is at a typewriter rather than a computer?
... Bart, Nelson, and Milhouse read *very* fast?
... Milhouse's parents do not appear in this episode, and Chief Wiggum only
appears briefly in the beginning?==============================================================================
==============================================================================
- Starring
- Dan Castellaneta (Hitler {jlm}, Homer, Runner 2, Mel, Choreographer,
Hippie 3, Cop, Writer 3)
- Julie Kavner (Marge)
- Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Ralph, Nelson)
- Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
- Hank Azaria (Wiggum, CBG, Runner 1, Moe, Commander, Writer 1)
- Harry Shearer (Announcer, Kent Brockman, Burns, Smithers, Smash, Skinner,
Otto, Hippie 2, Admiral, Writer 2)- Special Guest Voice - Lance Bass (Himself) - J C. Chasez (Himself) - Joey Fatone (Himself) - Chris Kirkpatrick (Himself) - Justin Timberlake (Himself) - Marcia Wallace (Edna Krabappel)
- Also Starring - Pamela Hayden (Milhouse) - Tress MacNeille (Cienega, Hippie 1) - Karl Wiedergott (Extra Guy)
==============================================================================
==============================================================================
+ New Kids On The Block (musical group)
- episode title a spoof
- there's a band called "New Kids in the Ditch" + Mark Rich's Presidential pardon
- blackboard gag relates to this [See "Comments" section for more --
Ed.] + The Olympic Games {bjr}
- the soda can condensation marks on Homer's end table form the Olympic
logo - every family sitcom that ever existed on the face of the Earth {bjr}
- Homer thinks Marge proposes that the two of them swap jobs, with the
aim of finding out whose life is tougher + marathon origin (run from Marathon to Athens) {jk}
- origin of Springfield Marathon not quite as noble + The Flash (superhero) {bjr}
- CBG dresses like him for the marathon ~ Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
- marathon runner has number 42 (see also BABF10) + Roberto Begnini's Oscar acceptance speech {jg2} 2
- Bart's reaction to winning the marathon is similar + Sacagawea dollar coins {bjr}
- L. T. Smash uses "Sacagaweas" as slang for "dollars" + Menudo (musical group) {jk} 2
- Boynudo a parody of the Latin American boy band - "Black or White" by Michael Jackson (music video) {jg2}
- the choreographer instructs the Party Posse to grab their crotches+ "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" (movie)
- Electric Boogaloo (song by Ollie and Jerry) {ds}
- Smash's checklist has "Boogaloo: Electric" written on it ~ Dante's Peak (movie) {zh}
- "thank you, NASA!" (chanted several times in the last 15 minutes of
the movie) + Banana Republic (clothing store chain) {jk}
- 'N Sync shops at Bandana Republic + Blue Angels (Naval air demonstration team) {jg2} 2
- the fighter jets in the Party Posse video look like them - "Top Gun" (movie) {dj}
- the planes during the Party Posse video + "Give Peace a Chance" (song) {hs} 2
- Homer thinks this song's title is a nonsense-phrase + "I Want You" recruiting poster {ddg} 2
- freeze-frame in Party Posse's video + Iwo Jima (famous WWII battle) {bjr}
- Party Posse's raising of the tetherball pole initially similar to the
Marines' raising of the flag + US military recruiting shortages {jc}
- the lengths the Navy would go to for fresh blood [See "Comments"
section for more -- Ed.] + "shell shock" (psychological term) {bjr}
- a store at the Squidport named, "Shell Shack" + "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club" by the Beatles (album) {hs} 2
- The Beatles, in their "Pepper" regalia, shown attacking a dummy + "The Matrix" (movie) {ddg}
- *NSync does a "camera-moving freeze-frame" - "If I Could Turn Back Time [?]" (video) {bjr}
- this video, by Cher, takes place on a battleship
- she straddles a gun the way Bart does - USS Intrepid (CV-11) (aircraft carrier/museum) {jc}
- the aircraft carrier used for the Party Posse's final concert + "Everybody Loves Raymond" (TV series) {jg2} 2
- "Why don't we call it 'Everybody Hates Raymond'?" ~ C&C: Red Alert 2 (computer game) {ak}
- opening movie features (Russian) ships firing missiles at downtown
NYC.==============================================================================
==============================================================================
- Mad Magazine References {px}
- [8F15] Issues of Mad have been confiscated at Springfield Elementary
- [3F10] Mad's "Down with homework"
- [4F22] Bart visits Mad office- [8F01] Bart gets a massage {jg2}
- [8F21] Bart dreams of becoming a rock star {bjr}
- [8F24] Someone has a superfluous third nipple {dj}
- [9F02] Dance instructor appears {mr}
- [9F13] Skinner and his orange drink
- [9F21] A Simpson forms a musical group
- [1F11] Bart becomes a celebrity {jg2}
- [2F11], [3F08], [AABF22] the US military gets humiliated {jc}
- [2F13] Hitler is still alive after WWII {px}
- [2F17] Milhouse becomes a celebrity {jg2}
- [3F11] Bart pretends to be Italian {jg2}
- [3G04] The Captain & Tenille is referenced {dj}
- [4F11] Cheating in a marathon {tr}
- [4F22] Offices of Mad Magazine seen
- [4F22] New Kids on the Block parody called "New Kids on the Blecch"
- [AABF16] Homer/Grampa resemblance somewhat recycled from {mr}
- [AABF19] Footage of Homer using mixing console recycled here {bjr}
- [BABF03] The choreographer from "Eight Misbehavin's" zoo show for the
octuplets returns to teach Party Posse how to dance {am}
- [BABF16] Appearance of Cienega the VJ
- [BABF19] Homer cleaning and dusting mixing boards as a hobby shown over the
closing credits {am}
- [CABF01] the animators use the "Matrix" move effect {am}
- [CABF03] characters move like the characters in the movie "The Matrix" {am}
- [CABF08] some sort of breast tape referenced {mr}==============================================================================
==============================================================================
- Marathon banner {bjr} SPRINGFIELD
MARATHON
"RUIN YOUR KNEES
FOR CHARITY"- Record studio sign {bjr}
[musical staff]
CLASSIFIED RECORDS- L. T.'s boy band checklist {bjr}
MOVES: FRESH
-------- 'TUDES: FLY
-------- BOOGALOO: ELECTRIC
--------- Sound-effects console labels {bjr}
STUDIO VOICE
MAGIC ENHANCER- Party Posse's video identifier {bjr}
Party Posse
"Drop Da Bomb"
Directed by: Ang Lee- Cryptic brainwashing message {bjr}
YVAN EHT NIOJ
[Better call in the NSA to decode that ...]
- Recruiting poster {bjr}
I WANT YOU
[ Uncle Sam, ]
[pointing at viewer] for the U. S. NAVY
ENLIST NOW- Bus sign {bjr}
NAVAL BASE
- Lt. L. T. Smash's chest tattoo {bjr}
[ destroyer, ]
[head-on view]
I [heart]
THE NAVY- Poster in Smash's office {bjr}
STAR
BLITZZZ [rainbow]
[ star ]PRODUCTIONS
- Advance copy of Mad {bjr}
Mad
[Alfred E. Neumann]
[flushing the boys] WE FLUSH THE
PARTY POSSEADVANCE COPY
- The first time we see the large switch thrown by Lt. Smash on the aircraft carrier {am}
__________________
| |
| COMMISSION |
| |
| || || |
| || || | <--- this is the switch handle
| ============ |
| |
| DE-COMMISSION |
|_________________|- The second time we see the large switch thrown by Lt. Smash on the aircraft carrier {am}
__________________
| |
| SHIP |
| |
| || || |
| || || | <--- this is the switch handle
| ============ |
| |
| MUSEUM |
|__________________|==============================================================================
==============================================================================
= The mob of marathon runners chasing L.T. Smash's car disappears in the
smoke from the car. {jk}= When Party Posse was singing their first song, one of the "solo" lines wasn't being sung by anybody. {ddg}
- The voices used for the Party Posse members switch around from song to song and within the songs. {am}
c The VJ said, "That was the latest ad from Stridex pads. Medicated!" but
the closed captioning read, "That was Eminem on top of cake. Yummers!"
{ah} 2= The US flag at the beginning of "Drop Da Bomb" has only 45 stars and 11 stripes. {sr}
* "Yvan eht nioj" shouldn't have been pronounced the same as "Join the Navy"
when Lisa rewound the tape. [It came closer than I thought it would,
though. See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] {jg2} 2= When Homer starts his "jealousy bug" gag with Lisa the sign behind him says
"GIFTS," but after a quick cut to Lisa, it returns to show him in front of
a sign reading "ANTIQUES?" {sr} 2= Just before they show the aircraft carrier, the Shell Shack fa�ade says " HELL HA K", but then right behind Lisa it says "SHELL SHACK". {ddg}
- The aircraft carrier seemed a little short [front to back], don't you think? {jj}
- There are no huge guns on an aircraft carrier. {dc}
* There are no missiles that could be fired directly off of the carrier
either. An aircraft carrier actually only has two means of shooting
anything directly and that is with the Phalanx point defense radar guided
chain gun. {dc}- The numbers on the carrier deck were backwards. {ddg}
= When the admiral pulls out his gun, his holster on his belt disappears. {sr}
= The first time we see the switch on the boat, thrown by Lt. Smash, it is
labeled "Commission-Decommission." The second time we see it, when Lt.
Smash is moving away from it, it is labeled "Ship-Museum." Maybe this is
from an unused gag ... {am}- The aircraft carrier is docked in less than two feet of water, as we find when the crowd jumps off and finds themselves in knee-high water. {sr}
- When the kids jump off the aircraft carrier into the very shallow water, they don't hurt themselves as they hit the bottom. {am}
- Jimbo jumped ship earlier than anyone else, and the water was already deep enough for him to "swim" away. {am}
- Marge runs off the ship with no concern for Bart? {mr}
+ Mad Magazine is in a different building now than it was in 4F22. [Perhaps they moved their headquarters? -- Ed.]
= The first time we see the Mad Magazine cover it says "WE FLUSH THE POTTY
POSSE," and the second time it says "WE FLUSH THE PARTY POSSE?" (The
toilet graphic also changes) {sr}- Nelson couldn't have determined that Mad Magazine called him Smellson since the cover didn't mention it. {ds}
- Someone in *NSync was enlisted into the Navy, yet MPs (Military Police) took him away; the Navy version is SP (Shore Patrol). {ddg}
==============================================================================
============================================================================== Sarah Culp: I liked this episode. I didn't think the marathon was too great, but the show got better, for once, as it continued. The boy-band satire wasn't groundbreaking by any means, but it was funny enough. N Sync didn't wreck the show; they didn't add much either, but they managed to stay relatively inoffensive, I think, if you gave them a chance. I even liked the subliminal-bit, and I loved the MAD parody, 'cause I always felt like a freak for thinking that MAD was rather dumb. Besides, as an Internet nerd, it's nice to see the show's writers pick on someone ELSE for a change. (B)
Don Del Grande: Well, the Springfield Marathon bit was a little slow (hey, that's a joke), but it picked up with the Party Posse bit, and they didn't cop out with an "N Sync saves MAD Magazine" ending, but (excuse me a minute ... what?) Best episode ever! Even better than "Radio Bart", "Lisa's Pony", and "Treehouse of Horror II" put together! Well, not all three but -- OKAY, OKAY, better than all three put together, that Navy part was brilliant, and this review is ABSOLUTELY unAFFECTED by the fact that (a) I'm a civilian Navy employee since before Matt Groening even invented the Simpsons and (b) there's talk of another reduction in force (civil servant talk for "downsizing") going around ... [Seriously: B-plus -- it started getting good when Party Posse started getting good ... and I've been working for the Navy since 1984] (B+)
Joe Green: This episode got off to a _very_ promising start, and a lot of the satire of the boy band craze was quite sharp, particularly the lyrics of the early songs. Unfortunately, it went seriously downhill about halfway through. Just why have the show's writers become so preoccupied with goofball conspiracy theories recently? That was only funny for so long, and it's gotten tiresome. (B-)
Darrel Jones: Feh. About average for a Simpsons ep. Loved the marathon gags and the 'N Sync cameo (dumb as it was), but the main plot wasn't that great. The producers should really try to get the main plot started before the end of Act One. Oh, well. 7/10 (C+)
Jamie Liddell: You'd think the Simpsons would take to boy band satire like a duck to water, but alas, a dumbed down, unsubtle and overly wacky South Park-lite approach rapidly sends this episode to the wrong side of "average". [...] The Navy conspiracy would have made an entertaining premise had it been handled well, but it sure as hell was not. We are dragged through Lisa laboriously working out the extremely obvious Yvan Eht Nioj message, as if it was thought the young viewers attracted to the show by Nsync needed everything explained to them in slow, clear, obvious sentences. [...] As soon as LT Smash puts the ship into commission New Kids On The Blecch makes a heroic attempt to grab the title of worst episode ever. [...] Whether this episode was attempting to appeal to the Nsync generation with its less intelligent, more banal delivery and its sub-South Park lunacy, I don't know, but whatever the reasoning behind it, the way this 20-minute satire was handled was not stylish, engaging or effective. (C-)
Alie Molino: I really enjoyed this episode, and I even thought N*Sync made good cameos, despite the cheesiness. Consistently funny from beginning to end; well-written songs that are terribly evocative of the bubble-gum pop being put out by the Backstreet Boys, N*Sync, 98 Degrees and all those other clones. A solid storyline, and, like "Tennis the Menace" [CABF07], a return to the successful formula of earlier seasons in which the episode starts off with a mini-plot that ends by leading into the main plot. Characterizations a little vague, but the jokes and the music more than make up for it. (A+)
Michael Nusair: The writers *could* have taken this opportunity to take a satirical jab at the whole manufactured-band phenomena. But that would have offended their stars -- and main audience draw -- NSYNC. That's not to say that there was no satire in this episode, but it was paper-thin. But even that doesn't even matter too much. The real flaw in this episode was the singing itself. They should have done one of two things: A) Used the character's actual voices, or B) made the lyrics to the songs far more outlandish. As it stands, all of the songs that Bart's group sang sounded like plausible boy band songs, and that's a bad thing. Combine that with the fact that this episode was almost exclusively non-funny, and you've got yourself a 22 minutes of wasted time. (D)
Mike Reed: Please, someone fire Tim Long. After CABF06 was a success, I thought maybe his first work (BABF09) was just a fluke, but here we go again ... This episode gave me that old, unpleasant feeling I had when Homer and Bart were chased down the street by elves. CABF12 bases it's storyline on an implausible and unfunny plot that tries hard to be funny and mock boy bands but comes off sounding like an advertisement. It was one lousy, obvious joke after another with no timing or pacing observed. I have no problem calling this the worst of season 12. (D+)
Jason Rosenbaum: WOW! What a shocker! Not only do NSYNC actually contribute to the episode, but the Simpsons were actually satirizing something! And come on, the songs were pretty damn funny. Overall, best episode of the season. WORD! (A)
Todd Willis: This episode was far from terrible and finally featured some of the social commentary which the show recently had been lacking. Act one and two were pretty funny, especially the segment on how the band was formed and their training. The last act was pretty weak as far as the plot goes, but it featured some of the best jokes (I especially love LT Smash's dream). Overall, not bad, but definitely not a classic. (B-)
Fox Wolf: The episode itself was actually really good. The only thing that wiped the smile off my face was Homer's "We're not signing anything -- except contracts!" That was pretty dumb. But seeing Homer anxiously wanting to sign it canceled that one out. A dumb line with a good punchline. Is that even possible? I give it an (A-)
Preston X: There were just too many things wrong with this episode. The overall plot was good but needed some adjusting. They practically wasted Act 1 on throwaway jokes, and then the whole rest of the episode was rushed. By Act 3, almost all reality had been lost. It's okay to incorporate impossibility into a story sometimes, but N*SYNC's two implausible appearances and the nonsensical ending were just too stupid. CABF12's major problem, however, was the total *characterlessness* of the characters. Homer was just there cranking out lame jokes. Lisa was evidently only in the episode so she could figure out the subliminal message, which took her way too long. CBG wasn't funny. Skinner wasn't funny. Milhouse wasn't funny. This episode was saved from total failure by an interesting plot and a few funny moments: ``Thank you, NASA!'', some of Ralph's lines, some of the lyrics. (D+)
Yours Truly: There were a couple of nice scenes, like Skinner's introduction of Party Posse, but most of this show had that broad, cartoon-y feel that probably appeals to the same demographic as listens to boy bands. In spite of the hype, the final product is innocuous, and maybe even forgettable. While it may be entertaining for the moment it isn't destined to become a classic the way some more substantial episodes are. "New Kids on the Blecch" is to the Simpsons what 'N Sync is to the music world. (C+)
AVERAGE GRADE: B- (2.56) Std Dev.: 0.9652 (17 reviews computed)
==============================================================================
==============================================================================
Darrel Jones: "No Strings Attached" by 'N Sync (2000) plays whenever the band enters or leaves
Preston X notes: Homer says he is "roughly" 38, a possible meta-reference to his different ages in different episodes.
- Where is Springfield?
Fox Wolf: Did anyone notice how confidently they were taking the ship back to Springfield? N*SYNC KNOWS WHERE SPRINGFIELD IS! Let's send them hate mail until they tell us where it is!
Benjamin Robinson explains this episode's chalkboard gag: During his final days in office, former President Clinton issued a number of last-minute Presidential pardons. [A pardon is sort of like a "get out of jail free" card, for those of you outside the U. S.] The flurry of pardons isn't than unusual for an outgoing President, but the recipients of them were. Typically the pardons go to obscure people who committed non-violent crimes that were considered serious at the time, but no longer seem like such a big deal. Clinton's generosity, however, was extended to major-league embezzlers and fugitives, the most notorious of whom was Marc Rich, a man who fled to Switzerland and renounced his citizenship to avoid prosecution. The common thread was that the pardoned had influential people lobbying the Clintons with gifts or campaign contributions. The pardon-for- hire scheme struck many people, even those who defended Clinton while he was in office, as being a zero-class deal. Investigations were in progress at the time the episode aired, and these probably inspired the blackboard punishment seen at the start of the show.
Jeff Cross: The latest fad in music today is the boy band: four or five pretty boys are assembled to sing sappy dance songs about love and other nice things. The target audience for these bands seems to be pre-teen girls and gay men. Currently there are 5 boy bands operating today: the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, 2Ge+her (formed for an MTV show), and O-Town (formed on the ABC show "Making the Band"). Amusingly enough, Mad Magazine did a gag article on how to form your own boy band a while back.
Benjamin Robinson adds: Their music draws heavily R&B and soul, and is sung in polished multiple-part harmony. In performance, the band members rarely play instruments (a chore handled by a backup band or just by pre-recorded music), but instead show off elaborately choreographed dance routines.
Boy bands tend to strongly attract a young (under 13) and female crowd, and just as strongly repel everyone else. Most bands form "spontaneously" when a group of musicians with common artistic interests find one another. Boy bands, by contrast, are calculated from the word "go." Four or five guys who can sing are recruited by a producer, who then hires songwriters and choreographers to come up with an act. With such a diverse crew of people working on one project, any artistic vision gets diluted, so that all the songs from all the bands all wind up sounding roughly alike. It is this mechanical lack of passion that drives most of the bands' critics up the wall. Kids Bart's age don't care about this, of course. They just know what they like and, judging from the sales charts, they like 'N Sync and their ilk.
Tracey Tabata clarifies: Jesse Owens never used starting blocks at the 1936 Olympics. He carried a little shovel with him and used it to dig holes in the track. (He then braced his feet in the holes.) Leni Riefenstahl shows this in her movie "Olympia."
Benjamin Robinson adds: Incidentally, for part of his post-Olympic career, Owens staged a variety of "gimmick" races to entertain his fans. I don't think he raced a zeppelin, but he did sometimes go up against a racehorse.
Back to Tracey Tabata: Carlos Lopes won the 1984 Olympic Marathon at the age of 37, not age 38. His time of 2:09:21 still stands as the men's Olympic Marathon record. (He also won the silver medal in the 10,000 metre run at the 1976 Olympics.) Contrary to what was depicted on the show, Carlos did not collapse on the podium. The following year, he set a world marathon best of 2:07:11 at the Rotterdam Marathon.
Jeff Cross writes: The scene where Jesse Owens outruns Hitler's zeppelin isn't that farfetched. I was at an air show one year where, as a joke, they demonstrated how horrifically slow a Russian Antonov An-2 passenger biplane was by racing it against a man on a bicycle. If I remember correctly, the plane won, although there wasn't an actual finish line for either of them to cross.
Darrel Jones: Marathons are long running races, a little over 26 miles in length. It takes a person much stronger and healthier than Homer to run one. Many US cities run one every year, and the events are frequently won by foreigners. I should also add, cheating like Bart's example is fairly common, but usually savvy judges can discover who skipped out on the race. [More on this later -- Ed.]
Tracey Tabata: Homer's -- and Comic Book Guy's -- participation in a marathon is not as far-fetched as it may seem. Many marathons now accommodate runners who will cover the distance in 6 hours or more.
Homer mentions "anti chafing nipple tape" as part of his marathon gear. There is actually such a product -- it's sold under the trade name "Nip Guards." (I don't know of anyone who actually uses it. Moleskin is cheaper. So are Band-Aids.)
If Homer had actually hit the wall during the marathon, he wouldn't have experienced any pain -- he would have slowed down dramatically (at least a minute per mile) and felt the urge to stop and take a nap on the course. "The Wall" occurs when the body can't burn fat (for energy) as efficiently -- burning fat requires oxygen, which is transported via the blood. Unfortunately, if the runner is dehydrated as Homer (as he/she would very likely be in the later part of a marathon), the blood doesn't flow as freely.
"The runner from Djibouti vs. the runner from Australia" -- I think the last time runners from either country won a major marathon was in the 1980s ... Ahmed Saleh from Djibouti won the bronze medal in the 1988 Olympic Marathon; Robert de Castella from Australia won the 1983 World Championships Marathon. [Ah, but is the Springfield race a *major* marathon? -- Ed.]
Did the show's writers do their research for the show by reading Runner's World back issues from the mid 1980s? I was very surprised to see that there were no Kenyans in the Springfield Marathon. (The Kenyans are very dominant in long-distance running.)
The barefoot runner from Djibouti was most likely inspired by Abebe Bikila, an Ethiopian runner who won the Olympic Marathon in 1960 and 1964. He ran the 1960 Olympic Marathon barefoot (but he wore shoes in 1964).
Tracey Tabata, again: Bart's "win" was most likely inspired by Rosie Ruiz, who jumped into the field of the 1980 Boston Marathon somewhere during the last mile, and was declared the winner of the women's race. (She qualified for Boston at the previous year's New York City Marathon, when she dropped out of the race in Brooklyn and took the subway to the finish line, where she was mistakenly credited as being a finisher.)
Unlike Bart -- or maybe even Kent Brockman (4F11) -- Rosie didn't use her post-marathon notoriety for personal gain. She was convicted of forgery, grand larceny, and drug charges in 1982 and 1983. In the 1990s, she was living a reclusive life in Florida.
Bart's cheating may also have been inspired by Algerian Abbes Tehami, who had his coach run the first half of the 1991 Brussels Marathon for him. The ruse was discovered when officials noticed that the runner who started the race had a mustache ... but the runner who finished did not.
Drew Dawg reports: In tonight's repeat, Mr. Burns races in the marathon by having Mr. Smithers pull him in a rickshaw. When this episode was first aired, Mr. Burns line was "You call yourself a Chinaman?" That created a controversy from the Chinese American crowd that led them to change the line in tonight's repeat. Mr. Burns's new line is, "You call yourself Chinese?"
Jeff Cross: 1998 was a historic year for the US Navy: it was the first time ever that they would fail to meet the year's recruiting quota. In the wake of ultra-low unemployment, affordable travel prices, and a Dow Jones that kept setting a new high every three weeks, recruiting for the regular military has been severely lacking (strangely enough, National Guard and Reserves recruiting has been meeting their quotas) even with the Marine Corps' very flashy CGI-intensive commercials. Given all this, it's understandable why the Navy would resort to subliminal backmasking in a boy band video to boost recruitment.
Tom Restivo: The "I WANT YOU" poster (seen in http://www.posterplanet.net/iwantyou.htm) was created by James Montgomery Flagg a popular recruiting tool for the US Army during WWI.
For the Navy, Howard Chandler Christy painted a pair of recruitment posters depicting a woman in a sailor's uniform (http://www.history.navy.mil/photos/arttopic/pstr-rec/nrp-w1a.htm). Some eighty-plus years later, (and despite the Lt.'s illusions), women as well as men are joining the Navy.
Hmmmm ... considering the primary appeal of Boy Bands are to young girls, maybe the subliminal messaging *is* gender specific.
Joe Klemm: If your keeping track with the Oscars, one of the main contenders this year is Ang Lee. A director from Asia, Lee is one of the main directors of art house films these days. In 1995, he directed an adaptation of the novel "Sense and Sensibility," which starred and had the screenplay written by Emma Thompson. A few years later, he directed the "Ice Storm." However, if he's being asked to do a video, then it's probably because of his latest film, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." An action-romance film from Taiwan, "Crouching Tiger" has quickly become the highest grossing foreign film of all-time for it's gravity-defying martial arts sequences, which were choreographed by the same guy behind the Matrix fight scenes.
On the subject of backwards masking, Benjamin Robinson writes: Yes, I was meticulous enough to try to duplicate Lisa's experiment with sound reversal. She got better results than I did. I recorded the chorus of "Drop Da Bomb" on my laptop and digitally reversed it. The result sounded like, "joy-YEENNN-thah-nah-VEE." If you heard it without being told what to listen for, you'd probably have missed the "message." Incidentally, saying "Join the Navy" normally, and then reversing that, gave me something that sounded a bit like "Ee-nevneh Ni-OSHJ."
So, you thought the backwards messages were the only interesting thing about "Drop Da Bomb"? Paul Tomko noticed something else: There was another part when the boys are singing in the jets, and one of them is using a pitch corrector. Basically, this is a device that takes the signal from the microphone and uses the characteristic sounds of your voice, but it makes sure that your voice is perfectly on pitch. It can tall what note you are singing, but if you are off pitch by more than a quarter tone, it goes to the next higher (or lower) note. This gives that weird skipping sound, which is technically called a glissando. This glissando effect, which sounds really awful to me, is used on purpose in some recent popular songs. One that springs to mind is "Do You Believe in Life after Love".
Mike Reed transcribes the promo for this episode: Voice-Over: It's the ultimate explosion of the boy bands!
(Bart rides the cannon)
Bart: Hello Springfield!
(it fires)
Bart: Ow! Hot, hot, hot!
Voice-Over: With help from *NSync!
(N Sync does their dance, and closes with "a matrix." One of the members falls to the ground with a thud.)
Don Del Grande: There really is an aircraft carrier number 11; USS Intrepid was decommissioned in 1974, and is now a "floating museum" in New York City. (See www.intrepidmuseum.org for details.)
Fred Mitchell via Bruce Gomes: The show ["Total Access 24/7," on Fox Family Channel] captures the band in performance in Orlando, Florida, and tags along as they tape a Simpsons episode, giving voice to their animated alter egos. That gig, says JC Chavez, gave him "brand-new respect" for those who do voice-over work.
Ian Pugh: MAD Magazine already did an "Everybody Loves Raymond" spoof a few years before -- "Everybody Loathes Raymud".
Benjamin Robinson contributes the next two items: Billy Crystal is a comedian and actor. He's most recently known for his performances hosting the Academy Award Presentations.
Car Watch: L. T. Smash drives a late-model Ford Mustang convertible.
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============================================================================== % The Simpsons are watching a TV show about great moments in Olympic % history. 1936: Jesse Owens out-races Hitler's zeppelin, and the % enraged dictator stomps angrily out of the stadium. 1968: Bob % Beamon breaks the long-jump record, infuriating an aged Hitler. % 1984: Carlos Lopez, at age 38, becomes the oldest man to win the % gold medal for the marathon, only to fall off the podium when he % receives his medal. (Hitler wasn't around for this one.) Homer is % inspired.
Homer: Thirty-eight! That's roughly my age! Marge, after a lot of thought, I've decided to run the Springfield marathon. Marge: Oh, please. You get exhausted watching the "Twilight Zone" marathon. [laughs] I'm a regular Billy Crystal! Bart: You got that right. -- "New Kids on the Blecch"
% Lisa offers some words of encouragement, which go unappreciated. % Homer, indeed, seems to have lost track of the conversation; instead % of vowing to run a marathon, he says he'll swap jobs with Marge, to % see who has it tougher. % % Marathon day arrives.
Good afternoon, and welcome to the 97th Springfield marathon, commemorating the time Jebediah Springfield ran across six states to avoid his creditors. -- Kent Brockman, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% Homer, true to his word, has entered the marathon. He and Lisa do a % quick pre-race equipment check. Everything is in place. Chief % Wiggum fires the starting gun, and the runners take off.
Homer: [running] I can't believe it! I'm actually running a marathon. [clutches his chest] Argh, I hit the wall! This is so painful! [the pain subsides] Hey, I got my second wind! [clutches his chest again] Owgh, another wall, I can't ... [pain subsides] Woo hoo! Third wind! -- "New Kids on the Blecch"
% Some other people we know, like Smithers, are also in the running. % A whip from offscreen smacks him smartly on the back. The camera % angle changes to reveal that he is pulling Mr. Burns in a rickshaw.
Burns: [whips Smithers] Faster, rickshaw driver, faster! [whips Smithers] Smithers: Sir, the whip isn't helping. Burns: Silence! You call yourself a Chinaman? [*] [whips Smithers again] -- "New Kids on the Blecch"
[*] Replaced in subsequent airings by, "You call yourself Chinese?"
Most likely, this is because the original line was thought to have
racist overtones.% CBG runs the marathon dressed as comic-book hero The Flash.
CBG: No one can outrun The Flash. [runs into an open manhole, and becomes stuck] Curses! One of my super-foes has set a trap for me. [tries to un-stick himself] -- "New Kids on the Blecch"
% It looks like even Grampa Simpson has joined the race, but it's % actually Homer, in a state of dehydration. % % Eventually, the race nears the finish line.
And with five hundred yards to go, the runners from Australia and Djibouti are neck-and-neck. Two weary warriors, now burning with pain and exhaustion. But only one will win the grand prize -- a walking tour of Springfield. -- Kent Brockman, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% Bart decides to go for the prize himself. He puts on a bushy fake % moustache, runs onto the course, and crosses the finish line just % ahead or those suckers who started at the beginning. Using a % pidgin-Italian accent, he thanks the crowd. As Bart accepts the % trophy, a bird plucks off his moustache and flies away with it.
Runner 1: He's a phony! Runner 2: Lousy cheater! Mel: I demand a re-race. [crowd groans loudly] Moe: I have a better idea. Let's have a fun-run -- on his trachea! -- Great moments in marathon history, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% The mob chases Bart and corners him. A man in a convertible pulls % up and orders Bart to get in. Bart considers which is riskier: % Getting in a car with a stranger, or facing a murderous mob. He % rolls the dice and accepts the ride, tossing his trophy aside. The % mob goes after it as Bart escapes.
Bart: Who are you? Smash: Aw, you'll find out in due time. Bart: [reading an ID badge hanging from the mirror] Well, it says here your name is L. T. Smash. Smash: The time has come. I'm L. T. Smash. -- Timing is everything, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% L. T. and the Simpson family relax in the living room.
Marge: Thank you so much for saving my son from that murderous mob. Smash: Well, thank you for letting me chill in your crib. Homer: And thank you for assuming we're hip. Smash: Har. Now here's the 4-1-1. I'm a record producer, see? I'm starting a new boy band, and there's a place in it for Bart. Marge: My Bart? Smash: Oh, yeah. That stunt he pulled at the race shows me he's the bad boy I'm looking for. [laughs and tousles Bart's hair] Homer: Now listen to me, Smash. We're not signing anything -- unless it's a contract. Marge: Why do you want Bart? He's not much of a singer. Smash: Marge, it's not the singing that brings in the Sacagaweas. Bart's a rebel. That's what I need for my new band -- the Party Posse. [produces a contract. Homer goes to sign it, but Marge stops him] Marge: Now, hold on; I have some concerns. Bart: Please, Mom. My dream is to be a rock star. Homer: And my dream is to get rid of Bart. Marge: But ... Homer: How many lives must you ruin? Marge: [indignant] Oh, okay. [signs the contract] -- Is this how Elvis got started? "New Kids on the Blecch"
% [End of Act One. Time: 4:52] % % L. T. introduces Bart to his fellow bandmates. He leads the boy % into a dressing room, where a row of high-backed chairs faces a % mirror.
Smash: I want you to meet and greet the other members of the Party Posse. He's smart, he's soulful, he's Milhouse! [someone spins a chair around to reveal Milhouse, with a new haircut and hipper clothing] Milhouse: What up, G-money? Smash: Next: He'll break your nose, your glasses, and your heart -- Nelson. [spins chair to reveal Nelson] Bart: Wait, these are just guys from school. Who's next, Ralph Wiggum? Ralph: [spins his own chair around] Whee! I'm a pop sensation! Smash: And I'm the mack daddy behind such groups as, "New Kids in the Ditch," and "Boynudo." I'm going to make you stars. -- He's the next Simon Cowell, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% It's going to take more than just Smash to make these boys stars. % It's also going to take the help of a professional choreographer, % who teaches the boys the proper way to bust a move. The boys are % quick studies; soon their 'tudes are fly and their threads are dope. % But as for their singing ... well, that's another question % altogether. Smash hands the boys some sheet music.
Bart: [reading aloud] Party Posse, we rule the earth, The greatest band since music's birth? Nelson: Isn't this song a little boastful? Milhouse: No one told me there was going to be boasting. Smash: Just take it from the top. Posse: [singing, if you can call it that] Party Posse, we rule the earth, The greatest band since music's birth. Smash: [to himself] Eugh. [walks to a voice-enhancement machine] Thank you, NASA. [starts the machine, which also causes some backing music to be played] Milhouse: [singing well] We love to sweat, and we love to sing. Nelson: We're real funky, but not threatening. Ralph: We're the best band in the world, Bart: But we'd give it all up for that special girl. Posse: You're my special girl. Special girl. [the choreographer is flushed] Posse: Special girl, Only you-u-u. -- Making the band, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% Party Posse makes their debut at Springfield Elementary, which has % called for a school assembly.
Skinner: ... so from now on, anything caught in your zipper will be handled by the school nurse, and not me. And now ... are you adequately prepared to rock? [audience cheers] Silence! [they're quiet] Here they are -- the Party Posse! [the curtain rises revealing the boys. The audience cheers] Bart: Hello, Springfield! Now here's a song that your principal Skinner doesn't want us to play. [audience boos] Skinner: That's not true! This assembly was my idea. I like your brand of inoffensive pop-rock. Bart: Screw you, man! We're going to play it anyway! [audience cheers as Skinner looks glum] [the song begins] Bart: I saw you last night at the spelling bee. Milhouse: I knew right then that it was L-U-V. Nelson: I gotta spell out what you mean to me, Ralph: 'Cause I can no longer be ... a silent "G." Posse: I've got to spell out what ... Ralph: I've got to spell out ... Posse: I've got to spell out what you mean to me. -- "New Kids on the Blecch"
% Skinner and Smash watch from back stage.
Smash: Man, they're gonna be big. And you stood in their way. Skinner: No, I didn't. I even came in early and made orange drink. Smash: Orange drink? What, do you live with your momma? Skinner: *She* lives with *me.* -- A subtle distinction, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% The boys wind down after their concert. Suddenly, 'N Sync drops by % to congratulate them. They walk over to the Party Posse members to % the accompaniment of dance-pop music that magically comes from % nowhere.
Justin: Word. Nelson: What brings you to Springfield? Lance: We saw your Band Formation Notice in the paper. Bart: Really? You saw our BFN? Justin: I can't believe I'm meeting Milhouse. Word. Chris: So anyway, we brought you this wicked gift basket. J. C.: Stubble glitter, a crowd taser ... Bart: Crowd taser? J. C: Yeah. It's perfect for getting through the crowds to your limousine. [Justin grabs it and zaps Joey] Joey: Yow! Lance: Dudes, we gotta go. Our clothes are getting a little out of date. Chris: To Bandana Republic! Justin: Word. [the music plays again, and 'N Sync leaves] Bart: Now we've got to get them a basket. -- "New Kids on the Blecch"
% Bart gets a back massage in the living room, over Lisa's objections. % Homer hushes his kids up, for he does not want to miss Cienega's VJ % prattle. After a bit of said prattle, Cienega introduces what we're % here to see: Party Posse's first music video, "Drop Da Bomb."
Posse: [singing] Oh, say can you ro-o-o-ck! [the Posse members each fly in on a fighter jet] Milhouse: There's trouble in a far-off nation, Ralph: Time to get in love formation, Bart: Your love's more deadly than Saddam, Nelson: That's why I gotta drop da bomb! [they do so. Bombs labeled "PP" drop toward a small group of Iraqi soldiers] Commander: Party Posse! [they are blown to smithereens] [as the flash from the explosion dies down, we see trio of pretty belly-dancing girls] Girls: [singing] Ee-van eht niojh. Ee-van eht niojh. Ee-van eht niojh -- eht niojh! [cut back to living room] Homer: [singing off-key] Ee-van eht niojh -- you gotta love that crazy chorus. Lisa: What does it mean? Homer: Ah, it doesn't mean anything. It's like, "rama- lama-ding-dong," or, "Give peace a chance." [back to the video. The boys are parachuting to the earth. (Which is much easier than parachuting away from it, now that I think about it)] Nelson: [singing] This party's happening; it's no mirage, Bart: So, sing it again, ee-van eht niojh! Girls: Ee-van eht niojh. Ee-van eht niojh. [the boys put up a tetherball pole, looking a little like the famous Iwo Jima Marines in the process. Party Posse and some women play a quick game of tetherball, and then race off into the desert on a dune buggy] -- "Drop Da Bomb," by ... "New Kids on the Blecch"
% Lisa intuits that there's something fishy about the video, but can't % put her finger on what it is. Later, she's watching the video in % her room, trying to puzzle out the meaning behind the "Ee-van eht % niojh" chorus. Something flickers on the screen. Lisa backs the % tape up and runs it again slowly to take a better look. She's % surprised to see that it's the famous "I Want You" recruiting poster % with Uncle Sam. Playing the tape backwards, and with the sound on, % she discovers that "Ee-van eht niojh" is the reverse of, "Join the % Navy."
Lisa: [gasps] They're recruiting people with subliminal messages! [outside, a horn honks. Otto is about to board a bus for the nearest naval base. Lisa shouts out of her window] Otto, what are you doing? Otto: I dunno. I just got an urge to join the Navy. Lisa: You're being brainwashed! Otto: Yeah, probably. Ee-van eht niojh! [gets on the bus, which drives away] "hccelB eht no sdiK weN" ,rekaerbedoc retsam ,nospmiS asiL --
% [End of Act Two. Time: 12:10] % % Lisa goes to warn L. T. Smash that his band is being used as a % clandestine recruiting tool by the government.
Lisa: L. T., thank God you're here. The government's playing subliminal messages in your videos! Smash: Subliminal messages? Do you have any idea of how insane that sounds? [Lisa notices an anchor tattoo on Smash's arm] Lisa: Is that a Navy tattoo? Smash: A Navy tattoo? Do you have any idea of how insane that sounds? [an electric fan stirs up a breeze that causes Smash's shirt to flop open, revealing a large tattoo of a ship and the slogan, "I [heart] THE NAVY". Lisa gasps. Then she notices that the first period in Smash's "L. T. Smash" nameplate is just pasted on. She peels it off, revealing "LT. Smash". Lisa: Lieutenant Smash? Smash: Yeah, that's right. Lieutenant L. T. Smash. [pulls off his crew-cut wig, revealing an even shorter crew-cut] Lisa: A wig! But, but your pant legs ... [Smash pulls a couple of ripcords on his waistline. His pant legs spread out, revealing the traditional flared effect that Naval uniforms have] Oh, how could you soil the good name of Star Blitzzz Promotions? Smash: Oh, come on, Lisa, we've always used pop stars to recruit people, going back to Elvis [shows Lisa a picture of Elvis's Army days]. Then there was Sgt. Pepper's [show the Beatles, in Sgt. Pepper uniforms, attacking a dummy], The Captain and Tenille, and the KISS Army. Lisa: But you have recruiting ads on TV. Why do you need subliminal messages? Smash: It's a three-pronged attack. Subliminal, liminal, and superliminal. Lisa: Superliminal? Smash: I'll show you. [opens the window, and shouts at Lenny and Carl, who are standing on the corner] Hey, you! Join the Navy! Carl: Uh, yeah, all right. Lenny: I'm in. -- Different strokes for different folks, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% "Well, know that you know," Smash says ominously, "I'm afraid I % can't let you leave." But Lisa has already left. % % She may be able to spread the news, but getting people to believe it % is harder. Marge suspects that Lisa is just jealous. Homer says % playfully, "Here comes the jealousy bug" and mock-attacks Lisa, but % she rebuffs him. Homer wants to go home, but Marge insists that % they go to Bart's concert, as planned. % % Fitting in with the Naval theme, the show is being held on a % decommissioned aircraft carrier. % % Smash is the emcee, and introduces the Party Posse.
Smash: Good afternoon, and welcome to the USS Sea Spanker. Are you ready to tear it up? [audience cheers] I can't hear you. [audience cheers louder] Do you maggots want to see a show, or not? [audience is confused] Uh, I mean, uh, uh, here they are -- the Party Posse! [audience cheers, and the music begins] [a radar dish spins around, revealing Milhouse. He jumps onto the stage] Milhouse: Had a girl in every port, from here to Barcelona, [Nelson uses a net to slingshot himself onto the stage] Nelson: But now I got to Springfield, and girl, I'm gonna phone ya. [Ralph parachutes in] Ralph: I've stormed a lot of beaches, but you're the one that I miss, [Bart straddles a large battleship gun] Bart: Let's get back together, girl, Let's re-enlist. [the gun fires] [speaking] Ow! Hot, hot, hot! [he slides off the gun onto the stage] Posse: So sign me up, for a hitch of love, Recruit my heart; four sweet years of love. -- "New Kids on the Blecch"
% Bart asks everyone to "ball-walk," and the audience does so. In Lt. % Smash's mind the children, dancing in unison, turn into soldiers % marching in formation. They do battle with hippies riding a giant % praying mantis. The hippies, shouting anti-American slogans, fire % flowers back at the soldiers. One man takes a hit. % % One of Smash's superior officers jolts him back to reality.
Admiral: Lieutenant! Lt. Smash! Smash: Oh, Admiral. Admiral: That hippie fantasy again? Smash: They're getting less frequent, sir. Admiral: Excellent. [the two men walk onto the bridge of the ship. The admiral closes the door behind them] Well, there's no easy way to say this. The new administration is shutting down Project Boy Band. Smash: Shutting it down? Permission to say that's crazy, sir. Admiral: You won't say it's crazy when you see next week's issue of "Mad Magazine." [holds up an advance copy, which reads, "We flush the Party Posse"] Smash: Oh, dear God. -- They don't care whose toes they step on, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% The Admiral goes onto say that when the magazine hits the stands, % Party Posse "will have as much recruiting power as a wax apple." He % uses a pistol to throw the switch on the boys' voice-enhancement % machine, turning it off. In mid-song, Party Posse stops sounding % like 'N Sync, and starts sounding like a bunch of elementary-school % boys. Musically challenged elementary-school boys, at that. % % L. T. Smash takes the pistol from the admiral, and uses the barrel % to flip a switch re-activating the aircraft carrier. It pulls free % of its moorings, and the sudden motion throws the Admiral overboard. % Most of the audience literally jumps ship. Soon, the only people on % board are Smash, the Posse, and Homer, who returns from the % bathroom.
Homer: So, what songs did I miss? Bart: Dad, L. T.'s gone crazy. [Homer looks at the ship's bridge, where Smash laughs maniacally] Homer: Yeah, that's the look. [laughs] -- "New Kids on the Blecch"
% The ship steams ahead to destinations unknown.
Bart: Think he's going to do something dangerous? Nelson: How should I know? Just keep loading missiles. [loads one into a launcher] Ralph: [carrying a missile] Pop music's hard work. -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% The ship passes the Statue of Liberty, which is still not enough for % Milhouse to figure out where he is. Smash tells Posse what their % designated target is: The offices of Mad. Homer and the boys gasp % in horror. "Not Mad!" says Homer, "That's our nation's largest % mental-illness-themed humor magazine." % % Oblivious to the approaching danger, the writers plan their next % witty satire.
Writer 1: Why don't we call it, "Everyone Hates Raymond." [the writers laugh] Writer 2: Well, we stayed up all night, but it was worth it. -- And that's how they came to be #1, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% The Party Posse realizes Smash has to be stopped.
Nelson: We can't let L. T. blow up Mad. Tina Brown was just starting to turn it around. Milhouse: We gotta mellow him out. Bart: But how? We would need the ultimate chill-out song. Ralph: And fast! [as that music plays again, 'N Sync approaches the Sea Spanker in their speedboat. It leaps in the air and lands on the carrier's deck] Lance: We heard what you said! Joey: Yeah, heard it old-school! Milhouse: It's 'N Sync! Justin: Can the chit-chat, Milhouse. We got just the song you need to defuse this whack attack. Joey: Defuse it old-school! Homer: About time. [J. C. jots something down on paper, hands and hands it to Bart] Milhouse: Radical! Nelson: Awesome! Ralph: I can't read! Nelson: I can't sing without dancing. J. C.: Fine. 'N Sync: [demonstrating the moves as they name them] Thrust, spin, turn. Pivot, pout, jiggy. Jiggy, robot, do- se-do. Lance: And close with a Matrix. [pull that "Matrix" move where they hold their position in mid-air. Chris falls down] Nelson: Nobody pouts going into a jiggy. Milhouse: Yeah, that's stupid. Ralph: I wanna twirl. Bart: Aw, come on, guys. We've only got a few minutes ... [missiles fly past] Uh-oh. -- Never mind, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% The missiles blow up the Mad building. Miraculously, no one is % hurt. (One guy even says he feels better.) % % The authorities arrive to take Smash into custody.
Smash: Well, boys, the Party Posse is over, but at least I saved you from a public spoofing. [copies of the new "Mad" magazine float down onto the carrier deck] Bart: Aw, man, we could have been on the cover of "Mad." Nelson: [reading a copy] They called me, "Smellson." Ha-ha! [all but Smash laugh] Homer: "Smellson" -- it's funny because you smell. [laughs] Smash: "Smellson." I could have thought of that. Cop: Sure you could have. Off you go, now. [they lead Smash away] -- "New Kids on the Blecch"
% Meanwhile, 'N Sync convenes on the bridge of the Sea Spanker.
Justin: You know, we've had a lot of fun tonight, at the expense of the U. S. Navy. Lance: But they're out there every day protecting us from Godzilla. Chris: And don't forget pirates! J. C.: And jellyfish. Joey: Those whack invertebrates will sting you, old-school! Justin: So check out the Navy for a two, or four-year hitch. Lance: We signed J. C. up yesterday. J. C.: What? [shore police men drag away J. C.] Noooo! -- 'N Sync practices what they preach, "New Kids on the Blecch"
% Cut to the credits, as Party Posse's backup singers sing an % inspiring refrain of "Join the Navy." % % It may be the end of the third act, but not the end of the fun, for % now we get to see 'N Sync recording their lines and goofing around % in the studio.
Milhouse: It's 'N Sync! [Chris plays the "Simpson" theme on what I guess is a pitch-pipe. The people in the studio laugh] Justin: I can't believe I'm meeting Milhouse. Joey: Yeah, heard it old-school! [laughs] J. C.: Noooo! Lance: Bart was so cool. Real short. He's about this tall. [makes a gesture to indicate someone really short] Bart: Don't print that. [more pitch-pipe playing. The people in the room applaud as he finishes up] Justin: Word. It just sounds like something I would say. -- "New Kids on the Blecch"
% The normal Gracie shush and production logos follow. % % [End of Act Three. Time, including closing credits: 21:04]
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============================================================================== {ah} Alan Hamilton {ak} Andrew Krupowicz {am} Alie Molino {bg} Bruce Gomes {bjr} Benjamin Robinson {dc} D Coster {ddg} Don Del Grande {dj} Darrel Jones {ds} Dave Sibley {hs} Harris Swindell {jc} Jeff Cross {jg2} Joe Green {jj} John Jensen {jk} Joe Klemm {jlm} Jesse L. McCann {kmc} Kyle McCowin {mr} Matt Rose {px} Preston X {sr} Sam Ribnick {tr} Tom Rinschler {zh} Zan Hecht
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============================================================================== This episode capsule is Copyright 2003 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer ([email]). All quoted material and episode summaries remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The Quote and Scene Summary itself is Copyright 2003 Benjamin Robinson. This capsule has been brought to you by Classified Records, Inc.
This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today.
Word.