Bets Homer Alcohol Related Quotes

"Homer no function beer well without."

-Homer Jay Simpson

"Ciscokid" wrote in message news:6MSh9.3781$%[email]...

:

:

"No TV and no beer make Homer something something" "Go crazy?" "Don't mind if I do!"

So here's to alcohol - the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

"Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball, and release it at an appropriate time. Like that day I hit the referee with a whiskeybottle. Remember that? When Daddy hit the referee?"

"I'm just washing my fat guy hat, honey."

Regards, Rich:L

"Blues Punk" wrote in message news:76Vh9.8619$J47.665406@stones...

On Wed, 18 Sep 2002, an infinite number of monkeys, masquerading as Ciscokid typed this -

No beer and no TV make Homer something something...

"Ciscokid" wrote in message news:6MSh9.3781$%[email]...

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get." - Homer Simpson

"Ah yes, alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems." -- Homer Simpson

classics :)

"Marge, I don't know if it's the beer talking, but you got a but that just won't quit. They got these chewy pretzels out here........(drunk mutters) 5 dollars!!! Get out of here!!"

Homer

" Son, a woman is a lot like a.... a refrigerator!
   They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds.  They make ice, and...
um............
 Oh, wait a minute.  Actually, a woman is more
   like a beer.  They smell good, they look good, you'd step over
   your own mother just to get one!  ....[gulp..gulp..gulp]  But you can't
stop at
   one.  You wanna drink another woman! [More hilarious drunk mutters]"

Homer

"ArK" wrote in message news:Mk9i9.55279$[email]...

Some more source http://internettrash.com/users/drinking_stories/simpsons_drinking_quotes.htm

Ah that's just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.

Barney Gumbal

I take a whiskey drink

I take a chocolate drink

and when I have to pee

I use the kitchen sink

Homer Simpson

When I was seventeen

I drank some very good beer.

I drank some very good beer

I purchased with a fake ID.

My name was Brian McGee.

I stayed up listening to Queen.

When I was seventeen.

Homer Simpson

I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case and the other case - we only got one case left.

Barney Gumbal

I used to rock 'n roll all night and party everyday. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.

Homer Simpson

My name is Otto. I like to get blotto.

Otto

Marge send the kids to the neighbors. I'm coming home loaded.

Homer Simpson

A-hem. Further to these beer I would like two of your finest cheapest cigars.

Kearny

Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.

Homer Simpson

Acohol and nightswimming. It's a winning combination.

Lenny

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems.

Homer Simpson

Not an election. Is that one of those deals where they close the bars?

Barney Gumbal

I'd rather have a beer

Than win 'Father of the Year'

Homer Simpson

Stop wallowing in self-pity. Now pull yourself together and come get drunk with us.

Karl

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.

Homer Simpson

Welcome to the sacred order of the Stonecutters who since ancient times have split the rocks of ignorance which obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Now let's all get drunk and play ping pong!

Number One

Toke as necessary. Warning: Objects may appear more edible than they really are.

Homer Simpson

Fruit rollups for Bart. Beer rollups for Homer.

Marge Simpson

Beer! How did you know?

Homer Simpson

Buy me a beer, two bucks a glass.

Come on, help me, I'm freezing my ass.

Buy me brandy, a snifter of wine.

Who am I kidding? I'll drink turpentine.

Barney Gumbal

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

Homer Simpson

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.

Homer Simpson

The college road trip. What better way to spread beer-fueled mayhem.

Homer Simpson

All right, Homey, you're overstimulated. As soon as we get you home, we'll get some beer into you, and then it's straight to bed.

Marge Simpson

You must love this country more than I love a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.

Homer Simpson

Alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.

Homer Simpson

Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.

Homer Simpson

Ok, class, today we'll be sitting quietly with the lights off, because teacher has a hangover.

Edna Krabappel

Ah beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel if you will.

Homer Simpson

I'm not going to lie to you Marge, ....So long

TK421

"Ciscokid" wrote in message news:6MSh9.3781$%[email]...

There is a hidden joke in this line that the less intelligent would not get. So I'm happy to explain it. The positions of the inflection, although scrambled, remain proper to their words. Genius.

What makes you think I wouldn't get that?

Stan

not

although

Well, I read the twelve messages from you that are available on my server, and you haven't said anything particularly intelligent. I really don't know who you are. You seem to be about as smart as anyone else here. I really don't have time for all this crap. Sorry.

ROTFLMAO!! ROTFLMAO!! You might can recognize meter, but you sure can't recognize humor! Who's so fucking intelligent?

Stan

"Stan Jones" wrote in message news:[email]...

server,

know

really

Okay, well, this one line has convinced me that you're a total dumbass. "You might can recognize meter?" Since when can we have an auxiliary verb without a main verb? Jackass. ALSO the correct auxiliary verb in a properly formulated sentence is MAY: since you are trying to express a certain measure of likelihood or possibility. Linguo is rolling over in his grave. "You MAY BE ABLE TO recognize meter!" Which elementary school did you flunk out of?

I can't write any more, for The Simpsons IS on.

You pitiful pedantic ass!

I post a silly, inconsequential one-line response to one of your posts. You come back saying you don't have time to mess with me, and yet you say you went back and read my previous 12 posts (I believe this one is my fifth post to this group, but never mind that).

Whatever intelligence you MAY or MIGHT have is apparently of the pointy-headed variety.

Stan

"Stan Jones" wrote in message news:[email]...

Hey, look closely.......

THESE ARE THREE LINES, JACKASS!!! I guess you can't count, either.

I said, ON MY SERVER. I guess my server is better than yours.

Least cogent argument ever.

One line of text, one blank line, one line with my name on it - yes, I can count, too.

How in the fuck are they on YOUR SERVER if I never fucking posted them? If there are 12 there, I'd say YOUR SERVER is defective.

Twit, you need to get out of the house more often.

Stan

SIGH look again

1: >ROTFLMAO!! ROTFLMAO!! 2: >You might can recognize meter, but you sure can't recognize humor! 3: >Who's so fucking intelligent? 4: > 5: >Stan

Counting those extra two lines makes five... a far cry from your original guess of ONE line.

Dammit don't talk shit about my server. I know that it's not much but it's all I can afford right now. Besides it's a lot better than yours.

You need to go to school more often. You certainly act as if you are school age. What are you, twelve? Learn how to show some damn respect. Now I have to end this since it has nothing to do with the Simpsons, and I don't have time to bullshit with worthless conversation that goes nowhere.

Look at my post of 9/24/2002 5:22 PM, dumbfuck. That's the one that apparently set you off to start all this silly shit. Why you took offense to that is beyond me!

Stan