TheAbman Leaves ATS

Aug 23, 2001, 3:16 PM ET30 posts by 12 posters
30 posts
TheAbman

And now, leaving ATS for the 5th and final time, TheAbman.

At home, I had the security of locking the door while I spent 5 minutes a day on this newsgroup, and whenever else I was extremely bored. But now I'm going off to college, and I can't hope to keep posting on this newsgroup, with peers all around me, without appearing like an incredible nerd. (Well, most of the people in my college are nerds themselves, but in a good way.) So here is my last post.

I stumbled on to this newsgroup 5 years ago. October 27, 1996. (Ironically, I was looking for a web page pertaining to the TV show Family Matters. Back then, I was a child who liked that show. What a loser I was. In the process, I accidentally discovered snpp.com, with a link to this newsgroup.)

Since then, I've been intrigued by the passion people have shown for the show The Simpsons, and the intelligence with which people critique episodes. I've been fascinated, all this time, with the oldschool vs modern debate, and I started to appreciate the Simpsons' intelligence, subtlety, and charm on a much deeper level after reading this newsgroup. ATS was never an obsessions, but a nice break each day. ATS was what gave me a fasincation with criticism of quality TV and other art forms, and interested me into satire and comedy.

After 5 years, there's too many posters to recognize, so instead, here's a "poster of the year" list. Each season of the Simpsons, I've recognized one outstanding poster who posted during that time.

1996-1997: Dale Abersold 1997-1998: Ondre Lombard 1998-1999: Eric Sansoni 1999-2000: ChaiTheDog 2000-2001: The Rack 2001-2002: (so far) Chris Pfeiler

Farewell, ATS. May the next time we meet be under more felicitous circumstances.

***********************
TheAbman,
HOM++ LIS+++ BAR++++ BOB++++ 7G12, 7F10,
8F15, 9F22, 1F04, 2F10, 3F13, 4F14, 5F02, AABF03,
BABF05, CABF14
"Is there no place for the man with the 105 IQ?!?!"
***********************
dave h.↩ TheAbman

TheAbman wrote:

so long, sucker!

Jeremy B↩ dave h.

In article , [email] (dave h.) writes:

You'll be back! And so will you! And you! And YOU... "Everyone's always in favour of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in the body of a great white shark, ohh-ohh-ohh, suddenly you've gone too far!" -- Prof. Hubert Farnsworth
Kristian Ronge↩ Jeremy B

On 26 Aug 2001, Jeremy B wrote:

Of course I'll be back! If people didn't stop posting here to go to work or sleep, I'd never leave!

/ Kristian

+-------------------------------------------------------+
|Kristian Ronge                                         |
|[email]    [email]             |
|(civil)                (skola)                         |
|d99, datateknik, KTH (Kungliga Tekniska H�gskolan)     |
|d99, Computer Science, Royal Institute of Technology   |
+-------------------------------------------------------+
Internet King↩ dave h.

"dave h." wrote:

Way to play TheAbman's head like a bongo, Dave! Sincerely, Little Girl

dave h.↩ Internet King

Internet King wrote:

yeah! i got a pretty good sound out of that guy!

The Rack↩ TheAbman

"TheAbman" wrote in message news:[email]...

day

Your secret shame... aw, go eat some flowers!

newsgroup, with peers

As a _jock_, it will be your job to give _nerds_ a hard time.

good way.)

We are hardly NERDS. Would a NERD wear such an irreverent sweatshirt? C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN DOS RUN

Then, Lisa cried. Then I cried. Then, Maggie laughed. She's such a trooper.

(Ironically, I

Like Urkel! That little snot-boy! I'd like to smack THAT kid!

If you didn't do it, some other loser _would_ have so QUIT MILKIN' IT!

newsgroup.)

Marge, I know this sounds hard to believe; but I'm trapped inside two vending machines.

show

Where are my pants? You threw them outside in a fit of passion. You said you were never going to need them again.

and I

much

Since hormones will soon make some of you an easy target for any smooth-talking Lothario with his own car and tight jeans, we will now show a short sex education video.

Grampa Simpson reeks of gin! Hey! That's "Obsession, for men".

art forms, and

This year, our national grammar rodeo is in Canada.

"poster of the year" list.

posted during that time.

Over the years, a news reporter comes upon sensitive information that he simply must not divulge. It hardly seems to matter now so... the following people are gay: [grab scrollbar & pull down fast]

Good night Springton, there will be no encores!

The Rack: [from off screen, to TheAbman] We're out of Skoal!

Hey fellas. Look at the guy who doesn't need ATS to enjoy life. We hate 'im, right fellas?

Good bye, Mr. Bergstrom. [Abman gets on the train and leaves... Homer sits on the hood of his car, watching the stars]

And now, back to the wall. -The inflammable Chadderack Look! Velveeta� sticks to the ceiling. >>| So long, Snuhperman! |
Ted S.↩ The Rack

Somebody claiming to be [email] (The Rack) wrote in :

Lisa: Only one person in a million would find that funny! Prof. Frink: We call that the "Dennis Miller Ratio".

Ted S.: change .spam to .net to reply by e-mail When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV! --Homer Simpson
TheAbman↩ The Rack

I'll miss you too, The Rack.

***********************
TheAbman,
HOM++ LIS+++ BAR++++ BOB++++ 7G12, 7F10,
8F15, 9F22, 1F04, 2F10, 3F13, 4F14, 5F02, AABF03,
BABF05, CABF14
"Is there no place for the man with the 105 IQ?!?!"
***********************
The Rack↩ TheAbman

"TheAbman" wrote in message news:[email]...

'im,

sits

I can still hear his voice on the wind...

And now, back to the wall. -The inflammable Chadderack Look! Velveeta� sticks to the ceiling. >>| So long, Snuhperman! |
The Rack↩ TheAbman

"TheAbman" wrote in message news:[email]...

day

Your secret shame... aw, go eat some flowers!

newsgroup, with peers

As a _jock_, it will be your job to give _nerds_ a hard time.

good way.)

We are hardly NERDS. Would a NERD wear such an irreverent sweatshirt? C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN DOS RUN

Then, Lisa cried. Then I cried. Then, Maggie laughed. She's such a trooper.

(Ironically, I

Like Urkel! That little snot-boy! I'd like to smack THAT kid!

If you didn't do it, some other loser _would_ have so QUIT MILKIN' IT!

newsgroup.)

Marge, I know this sounds hard to believe; but I'm trapped inside two vending machines.

show

Where are my pants? You threw them outside in a fit of passion. You said you were never going to need them again.

and I

much

Since hormones will soon make some of you an easy target for any smooth-talking Lothario with his own car and tight jeans, we will now show a short sex education video.

Grampa Simpson reeks of gin! Hey! That's "Obsession, for men".

art forms, and

This year, our national grammar rodeo is in Canada.

"poster of the year" list.

posted during that time.

Over the years, a news reporter comes upon sensitive information that he simply must not divulge. It hardly seems to matter now so... the following people are gay: [grab scrollbar & pull down fast]

Good night Springton, there will be no encores!

The Rack: [from off screen, to TheAbman] We're out of Skoal!

Hey fellas. Look at the guy who doesn't need ATS to enjoy life. We hate 'im, right fellas?

Good bye, Mr. Bergstrom. [Abman gets on the train and leaves... Homer sits on the hood of his car, watching the stars]

And now, back to the wall. -The inflammable Chadderack Look! Velveeta� sticks to the ceiling. >>| So long, Snuhperman! |
The Rack↩ TheAbman

"TheAbman" wrote in message news:[email]...

day

Your secret shame... aw, go eat some flowers!

newsgroup, with peers

As a _jock_, it will be your job to give _nerds_ a hard time.

good way.)

We are hardly NERDS. Would a NERD wear such an irreverent sweatshirt? C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN DOS RUN

Then, Lisa cried. Then I cried. Then, Maggie laughed. She's such a trooper.

(Ironically, I

Like Urkel! That little snot-boy! I'd like to smack THAT kid!

If you didn't do it, some other loser _would_ have so QUIT MILKIN' IT!

newsgroup.)

Marge, I know this sounds hard to believe; but I'm trapped inside two vending machines.

show

Where are my pants? You threw them outside in a fit of passion. You said you were never going to need them again.

and I

much

Since hormones will soon make some of you an easy target for any smooth-talking Lothario with his own car and tight jeans, we will now show a short sex education video.

Grampa Simpson reeks of gin! Hey! That's "Obsession, for men".

art forms, and

This year, our national grammar rodeo is in Canada.

"poster of the year" list.

posted during that time.

Over the years, a news reporter comes upon sensitive information that he simply must not divulge. It hardly seems to matter now so... the following people are gay: [grab scrollbar & pull down fast]

Good night Springton, there will be no encores!

The Rack: [from off screen, to TheAbman] We're out of Skoal!

Hey fellas. Look at the guy who doesn't need ATS to enjoy life. We hate 'im, right fellas?

Good bye, Mr. Bergstrom. [Abman gets on the train and leaves... Homer sits on the hood of his car, watching the stars]

And now, back to the wall. -The inflammable Chadderack Look! Velveeta� sticks to the ceiling. >>| So long, Snuhperman! |
The Rack↩ The Rack

"The Rack" wrote in message news:cTdh7.5492$[email]...

Yosemite Sam : I _hates_ that Outlook Express...

And now, back to the wall. -The inflammable Chadderack Look! Velveeta� sticks to the ceiling. >>| So long, Snuhperman! |
The Rack↩ TheAbman

"TheAbman" wrote in message news:[email]...

I think Maynard James Keenan of TOOL sums it up best:

He had a lot to say. He had a lot of nothing to say, We'll miss him. We will miss him.

And now, back to the wall. -The inflammable Chadderack Look! Velveeta� sticks to the ceiling. >>| So long, Snuhperman! |
Internet King↩ The Rack

The Rack wrote:

I don't think that sums it up at all! Sincerely, Little Girl

The Rack↩ Internet King

"Internet King" wrote in message news:[email]...

THAT's not how ye "vwing!" [punch]

And now, back to the wall. -The inflammable Chadderack Look! Velveeta� sticks to the ceiling. >>| So long, Snuhperman! |
Aaron Hirshberg↩ TheAbman

[email] (TheAbman) wrote in message news:...

College? Clown or barber? When you get to college, you will find many geeks there who hang around in this newsgroup. We will see you back here in about two weeks, I believe. And where are you going to college (I am setting you up for some humor here)? Springfield Heights Institute of Technology? Springfield A&M? Bovine University? Upstairs Medical School? Club Med School?

One comment: Of the three nerds that Homer hung out with during his brief stint in college, two of them look like people I know from MIT (where I got a Master's in Mechanical Engineering). The fat guy and the red haired guy. As for the third nerd, he could be me except for the fact that I am white and I had my teeth straightened by an orthodontist when I was a teenager. Otherwise, that third nerd is ME!

Aaron Hirshberg

Kristian Ronge↩ Aaron Hirshberg

On 24 Aug 2001, Aaron Hirshberg wrote:

-Some guys at MIT are sending us reasons why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk. -Ha! They're outta their minds!

/ Kristian

+-------------------------------------------------------+
|Kristian Ronge                                         |
|[email]    [email]             |
|(civil)                (skola)                         |
|d99, datateknik, KTH (Kungliga Tekniska H�gskolan)     |
|d99, Computer Science, Royal Institute of Technology   |
+-------------------------------------------------------+
TheAbman↩ Aaron Hirshberg

. And where are you going to

I'll thank you NOT to refer to Rice University that way.

***********************
TheAbman,
HOM++ LIS+++ BAR++++ BOB++++ 7G12, 7F10,
8F15, 9F22, 1F04, 2F10, 3F13, 4F14, 5F02, AABF03,
BABF05, CABF14
"Is there no place for the man with the 105 IQ?!?!"
***********************
Jimmy Legs↩ TheAbman

aka, "The School of Hard Knockers"

i still don't see why the big kiss off. even if the uni doesn't have usenet access, there's always:

http://groups.google.com
Kristian Ronge↩ Jimmy Legs

On 31 Aug 2001, Jimmy Legs wrote:

Ooooh, I hate that lousy Dean!

/ Kristian

+-------------------------------------------------------+
|Kristian Ronge                                         |
|[email]    [email]             |
|(civil)                (skola)                         |
|d99, datateknik, KTH (Kungliga Tekniska H�gskolan)     |
|d99, Computer Science, Royal Institute of Technology   |
+-------------------------------------------------------+
Internet King↩ Kristian Ronge

Kristian Ronge wrote:

Nerdlingerm this bra bomb better work! Sincerely, Little Girl

Jeremy B↩ Internet King

In article , Internet King writes:

Ngley... "Everyone's always in favour of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in the body of a great white shark, ohh-ohh-ohh, suddenly you've gone too far!" -- Prof. Hubert Farnsworth
Internet King↩ wavking

wavking wrote:

You can't expect us to swallow this tripe? Sincerely, Little Girl

Aaron Hirshberg↩ TheAbman

[email] (TheAbman) wrote in message news:...

One word of advice: Plastics.

Actually, several words of advice. When you get that certain woman up to your dorm room, and you get her clothes off, DON'T START TALKING ABOUT THE SIMPSONS!

Aaron Hirshberg

Kristian Ronge↩ TheAbman

On 23 Aug 2001, TheAbman wrote:

He made pointless, boring, and sometimes even obnoxiuos posts, and he was rude to the other posters. Still, there goes the best damned poster a newsgroup ever had!

...Sorry about that, I didn't really mean it, it just had to fit with that wonderful Apu quote so I could say farewell Simpsons style! :-)

Bye bye, AbMan! Or should I say 'au revoir'? Good luck at College!

/ Kristian

+-------------------------------------------------------+
|Kristian Ronge                                         |
|[email]    [email]             |
|(civil)                (skola)                         |
|d99, datateknik, KTH (Kungliga Tekniska H�gskolan)     |
|d99, Computer Science, Royal Institute of Technology   |
+-------------------------------------------------------+
TheAbman↩ Kristian Ronge

Well, ooh lah dee dah, Mr. Frenchman.

(seriously, thanks for the roast and the farewell)

***********************
TheAbman,
HOM++ LIS+++ BAR++++ BOB++++ 7G12, 7F10,
8F15, 9F22, 1F04, 2F10, 3F13, 4F14, 5F02, AABF03,
BABF05, CABF14
"Is there no place for the man with the 105 IQ?!?!"
***********************
Jamie↩ TheAbman

Thanks for letting me steal the "Comdamnspam" bit from your address.

S1.3 OFF++++ HTZ+++ Matt Groening ++++ LIS++ Duffman++ Big Rich Texan-- f++ n+ Is $/$+ 9F10, 5F18, 3F31, 3F04, 2F15, "TOE", 2F16, M1987

Learn the Simpsons Geek Code or else you will die.*

*Not a guarantee.