The 13 stages of coping with the decline of the Simpsons

Nov 11, 2002, 10:35 PM ET8 posts by 7 postersalt.tv.simpsons
8 posts
Jean Fontainealt.tv.simpsons

Stage 1: DENIAL. -- The Simpsons never jumped the shark and never will. If anything, the current season is actually the best season ever.

Stage 2: DISBELIEF. -- Come on, do you really think the writers of the show would lower their quality standards for the sake of a cheap laugh?

Stage 3: FEAR. -- Would it really be worth, living in a world without new Simpsons episodes? I think the survivors would envy the dead!

Stage 4: EMPTINESS. -- I just watched the last episode and one funny thing is that I don't remember one funny thing...

Stage 5: ANGER. -- Stupid Homer!! Be more funny!!

Stage 6: SARCASM. -- Unless you're being ironic, turn it back to Season 5!

Stage 7: BARGAINING. -- O.K., Simpsons writers, you don't like me and I don't like your recent seasons. Here's the deal: if you make better episodes, I won't be in the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

Stage 8: GUILT. -- Maybe I shouldn't have criticized the show in the first place. After all, it's only a cartoon and the writers don't owe me anything. I probably did hurt their feelings, causing their output quality to go downhill from there. Listen, guys, I'm really sorry!

Stage 9: SELF-PITY. -- If everyone could find a place in their hearts for me, a little Simpsons fan that nobody wanted, a fan betrayed by the show he loved, a fan ruined by the merchandise he spent his life savings on, a fan starved with empty-calory episodes, I know we can make them laugh and cry until we grow old together.

Stage 10: HOPE. -- I'm sure that someday Krusty will come rescue the team of writers and the show will enter a new golden era of clever hilarity.

Stage 11: SHAME. -- Me? Watching the Simpsons? No, it was huh... pornography! That's it, I was watching pornography! I swear!

Stage 12: DEPRESSION. -- Is it really worth, living in a world with new Simpsons episodes? I envy the dead!

Stage 13: ACCEPTANCE. -- O.K., let's face it: worst season ever. Time to pull the plug. Release the sharks!

It's nowhere near as great as the 3-8 season episodes, but they they are better than the worst of 11 and 12, and i find then somewhat enjoyable, enough to watch for another year or 2

Jean Fontaine wrote in message news:9G_z9.1343$[email]...

Stage 14: Keep complaining about a show I would've stopped watching years ago, if it weren't for my OCD!

"Jean Fontaine" wrote in message news:...

According to http://www.snpp.com/episodes/7F11.html, there are only FIVE STAGES, Einstein! BTW, if it wasn't for www.snpp.com, the only way I could find satisfaction in life would be to constantly have wild sex with beautiful supermodels!

   Dr. H: Now, a little death anxiety is normal.  You can expect to go
through
          five stages.  The first is denial.
   Homer: No way!  Because I'm not dying! [hugs Marge]
   Dr. H: The second is anger.
   Homer: Why you little! [steps towards Dr. H]
   Dr. H: After that comes fear.
   Homer: What's after fear?  What's after fear? [cringes]
   Dr. H: Bargaining.
   Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this!  I'll make it worth your
while!
   Dr. H: Finally, acceptance.
   Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
   Dr. H: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.

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