Some of the funniest moments in the show come straight from old Burnsie. One of my all time favorites is when he pulls up to the Kwik E Mart in a quadricycle dressed in full driving gear and says: To Marge: You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste.
any others?
Were you saying, "boo," or, "boo-urns?"
"This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you."
"SEF/MMF" wrote in message news:[email]...
One
when he wants to go watch Dredrick vs. Tatum at some employees house, for the comradery, and he talks about how the door will be hanging from the hinge and the dog " looking vainly for some place to die." aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
"SEF/MMF" wrote in message news:[email]...
One
Dredrick vs. Tatum?
I don't know who is it tyson aka dredrick tatum fights some other guy. Little Help. as I crash through the floor.
"Jason Saslow" wrote in message news:[email]...
for
"SEF/MMF" wrote in message news:[email]...
One
"I'll go on the most popular radio show on the airwaves! I assume that's still Don McNeil and his breakfast club?"
I think it hung on until the sixties. he was like paul harvey - still on the air after he was dead.
As for Burnsisms:
About making his own movie "Yes, a film to whitewash my evil rise to power, like 'Bugsy' or 'Working Girl' "
[email] (MarcColten) wrote in message news:...
Paul Harvey is still very much alive here in Chicago. Good Day!
"Gabagimpy" wrote in message news:s3dt8.87116$[email]...
Don't know when it started, but it was still on the air in the late 60's, when ABC split into 4 networks.
Yours truly, Some bozo
"SEF/MMF" wrote in message news:[email]...
One
Careful, Smithers. That sponge has CORNERS!
Homer: "BAD DOG! BAD...NEIGHBOUR DOG!!!" Burns: "That's quite all right. I love dogs... babies too..."
Yours truly, Some bozo
I need to get this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by next week. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?
------------------------------------ Knowledge is power Power corrupts Study hard Be evil
Avenge 9-11....Support Israel
"Chris�" wrote in message news:[email]...
Uh, I better check the manual.
Yours truly, Some bozo
That's my favorite one, too. Some other goodies:
"I had my share of wieners that day!"
"Good news, I bought 'munchies'! Smithers, the Cheetos."
Burns: "Have the Rolling Stones killed" Smithers: "But sir, those weren't the..." Burns: "DO AS I SAY!"
"Oh, take a copy of my new book, 'Will there ever be a rainbow?'"
"You don't have to sue me to get my pants off..."
"I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?"
Smithers: Someone is charging room service to the company, sir.
Burns: Well, we'll just see about that.
[Walks over to a cage full of monkeys with wings]
Fly, my pretties, fly!
[They walk to the window and plummet to their deaths]
[sighs] Continue the research."Smithers, there's a rocket in my pocket. "
"Ketchup...Catsup...Ketchup...Catsup; I'm in way over my head."
"Since the dawn of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun"
Let's check the old stock ticker, where did I leave it last...September 1929... oh no, oh no! Smithers! why didn't you inform me of this "stock market crash"?
"What!? I'm not made of airports! Get out!"
"How dare you disturb me during my lime rickey!"
Rick Nelson wrote:
And from the same episode (paraphrased from snpp.com):
Burns: "Uh, oh, excuse me, could you tell me where I might find the 'Burns-Os'?" (Krusty: "Sorry, pops. They don't put nobodies on cereal boxes.")
(Mr. Burns finds a box of Count Chocula)
Burns: "Hmmm... I suppose this one looks a *bit* like me."
"Im not made of airports" is definitely the best Burnsism of all time:)
-Family Guy
"Rick Nelson" wrote in message news:[email]...
One
In article , "SEF/MMF" wrote:
(when Homer serves him donuts for breakfast) "I TOLD you I don't like ethnic foods!"
"You call this Postum? You call this a supercomputer?"
"Smithers, I've decided to make a donation to the orphanage - when pigs fly!"
(barbecued pig goes flying past the plant window)
"Uh, should I start writing out that check now?
"Eh....perhaps not"
SEF/MMF wrote:
Homer has spraypainted "I am Homer Simpso" and most of an N in giant green letters on Mr. Burns' office wall when Mr. Burns comes in.
Burns (slowly and irritated): "Who the devil are you?"
"The Beatles? Ah, yes, I remember their off-key caterwauling on the old Sullivan show. What was Ed thinking?"
and his impersonation of The King Elvis when he was retiring
"Mista Burrns.....fla shneh fiddle blah blah blah"
Hahaha....good call.
Did he actually say anything after "Mr. Burns" as Elvis, or was it all incomprehensible after that?
Also, didn't he do a Nixon impression. (Something about him being nervous so Burns let him win at golf).
-Family Guy
"jim" wrote in message news:LIpt8.1490$[email]...
Family Guy wrote:
Burns: Who is that lavatory linksman, Smithers?
Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir. One of the fork and spoon operators
from sector 7-G.
Burns: Well, he's certainly got a loose waggle. Perhaps I've
finally found a golfer worthy of a match with Monty Burns,
eh?
Smithers: His waggle is no match for yours, sir. I've never seen you
lose a game. Except for that one in '74 when you let
Richard Nixon win. That was very kind of you, sir.
Burns: Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Smithers, with his [imitating
Nixon] "Oh, I can't go to prison, Monty. They'll eat me
alive!"
[Smithers laughs]
I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation?
Smithers: Unlikely, sir. They spell and pronounce their names
differently.
Burns: Bah. Schedule a game and I'll ask him myself.I love this line, LOL. I also like the line "use an open faced club, a sand wedge"...
Austin
"ALewis525" wrote in message news:[email]...
sand
Okay, I have to ask.
What's the name of this episode, and the the episode where Marge is addicted to gambling, the Burn's casion opens up, and Monty goes nuts?
"$pringfield" (and I think there's another name along the lines of, "How I learned to stop nagging and love gambling")
-Family Guy
"Erich O." wrote in message news:[email]...
addicted
"Erich O." wrote in message news:[email]...
addicted
3F11 Scenes From The Class Struggle In Springfield 02.04.96
1F08 $pringfield (or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Legalized Gambling) 12.16.93
Burns: "We'll take the Spruce Moose! Hop in!" Smithers: "But, sir!..." Burn (cocking revolver): "I said, 'Hop in!'"
-Family Guy
"SEF/MMF" wrote in message news:[email]...
One
"SEF/MMF" wrote in message news:[email]...
One
i don't have the whole quote memorized, but the "mother nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing? well, i say hard cheese." it starts with something about draught and acid rain and poison monkeys. man, i love that part! shut up little girl! i have to go.
P. Piggly Hogswine wrote in message news:U%jt8.14170$[email]...
i
and
go.
Yes, that one my favourite too: "Oh, so Mother Nature needs a favour? Maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poisoned monkeys. Nature started the fight for survival and now she wants to quit because she is loosing, well I say 'hard cheese'."
And the one where he tries to get Smithers to board the model airplane, just mentioned a couple of messages ago.
Giovanni
"SEF/MMF" wrote in message news:[email]...
One
'Ogre-ish? Why, I ought to club them and eat their bones!' "I pickled the figs myself'
wysi
I've always been partial to this one from "Homer Goes to College":
Burns: Remember, your job and the future of your family hinges on
your successful completion of Nuclear Physics 101.
Oh, and one more thing: [ominously] you must find the jade
monkey before the next full moon.
Smithers: Actually sir, we found the jade monkey; it was in your glove
compartment.
Burns: And the road maps? And ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Burns: Ex-cellent! It's all falling into place.And this one from "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?":
Burns: Now before we begin, let me make one thing clear for you. I want your legal advice. I even pay for it. But to me you're all vipers! You live on personal injuries, you live on divorces, you live on pain and misery! I-- [getting ahold of himself] Oh, but I'm rambling. Would anyone like some coffee? Lawyer: Yes, I would like some coffee. Burns: Want it black, don't you? Black like your heart? It's so hard for me to listen to you, I hate you all so much! [pause] I'm sorry, it's my problem, I'll deal with it. Please continue. Lawyer: If you offer Homer Simpson a token cash settlement, say a couple of thou, he'll be so dazzled, he'll sign anything you shove under his nose. Burns: [sarcastic] Oh, brilliant, a cash settlement. I could have figured that out, you buttoned-down maggot! Lawyer: Got any cream? Burns: Oh yes, of course, where are my manners?
Copied and pasted from snpp.com.
In the same vein, when Burns makes a speech to his employees:
"Campadres, we must crush the revolution before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya!"
"Smithers, I don't like being out-of-doors. For one thing there are too many fat children."
"I specifically requested NO romantic music!"
Bea: "Oh Monty, you're the devil himself." Burns: "WHO TOLD YO- oh, yes, of course."
But my favorite Burns moment is when he is sitting in front of all the screens in his office and the "Imperial March" from Star Wars is playing.
"And look Lisa, a dime for you. All thanks to our hemp-smoking friend here. Shine on, you crazy diamond!"
'and I'm really enjoying this "iced cream"'.
Marla
"Marla Singer" wrote in message news:[email]...
i really like that one, and your post reminded me of another one i really like all of a sudden: "Smithers, this *beer* isn't working. I don't feel any younger or funkier."
Smithers: "I'll switch to the tablespoon."
"Release the hounds...."
On Thu, 11 Apr 2002 01:00:47 -0000, "SEF/MMF" wrote:
Lisa: It's called recyling!
Burns (puzzled): ray-sigh-cleen?
[Homer standing outside Burns Manor trying to get bart back]
"What are you going to do Burns release the hounds, or the bees, or the hounds that shoot bees out of their mouths".
[Burns turns to Smithers] "Release the robotic Richard Simmons"
Prince of Orange wrote:
look out!!! his ass is gonna blow. aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
"Michael Cogan" wrote in message news:[email]...
Burnsie. One
{In the hospital after being shot}
[Homer shaking mr Burns.]
"Smithers who is this beast that is shaking me"
[Homer enraged] "D'OH!!!!
[Homer grabs a gun from a cop] "Say it burns. Say I never shot you..... before
SEF/MMF wrote:
I like practically every exchange with Smithers, e.g. the time he thanks Smithers for making the last moments of his life personally awkward.
But the "destroy the sun" comment is the best. I love the concept of this joke and the offhand delivery.
and references mans destructive tendencies, holacausts, nukes, genocides, hitlers all that fun stuff. Burns is evil.
"Yammer" wrote in message news:[email]...
"Smithers, do you think my powerplant caused the ducks to die?"
"Yes"
Mr Burns sobbing
"excellent" Al F 729th ACS HAFB, Utah I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.-Abe